As of the last chapter, Gladiator is my most reviewed fic yet! Thanks a lot, everyone! Yeah, I'm sure you all wanted to see whether it would be Auron or Sesshomaru ended up stuck with Muumuu, but I'm a big fan of both of them and I couldn't pick one without feeling guilty about the other one.

Chapter 22: Cutting the Apron Strings

Sylvia the Demon Lady glowered down at her rebellious son, and he glared back, his newfound courage still unwavering. "SO, YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU CAN DEFEAT ME?" she roared as her purple flames expanded. "FOOL! I'LL RIP YOU TO PIECES AND THEN START ON ALL YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS!" Then she stopped and looked at Auron. "Except for you, dear, since…"

"I don't want to hear it, you crazy bitch!" he shouted, cutting off whatever lewd remark she was about to make. "Between you, those screaming fangirls and Seymour, I've heard enough perverted suggestions to last me the rest of my life, and…"

"Afterlife," Squall interrupted.

"What?"

"You're dead, so it would be your afterlife, wouldn't it?"

"Whatever! The point is that I'm tired of it, and I'm going back to the goddamned Farplane when all of this is done!"

"Hey, did he just say 'goddamn'?" Vincent asked Sephiroth, who was busily poking Sylvia's left knee.

The villain irritably waved his hand and said, "Yeah, now be quiet, I'm busy! Poke, poke, poke…"

Then the Grand Duchess of Hell let out an angry, ear-piercing shriek and bitch-slapped him with extreme prejudice. That, in turn, sent him crashing into Sesshomaru, and the two of them crashed into the nearby wall with a resounding crash. "FINE!" she bellowed, her voice going demonic again. "I TRIED TO BE NICE, BUT NOW I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU AND BE DONE WITH IT!"

Everyone ran away as Sylvia spat a great burst of amethyst flame, but due to their anti-infection barrier, Yugi and Kaiba couldn't get out of the way in time, and the two of them were quickly engulfed. "Oh no! Sephy, she just killed your new best friend!" Cloud shouted.

"What?" Sephiroth staggered to his feet and looked around. When he noticed the two burning bodies lying on the ground, he yelled, "Yugi! Oh God, what has that bitch done to you?"

Before he could do anything about it, though, an extremely pissed-off Sesshomaru shoved him aside, amber eyes flashing with rage. Without saying a word, the angry dog demon transformed into his true form and attacked Sylvia, attempting to rip her to pieces. Although Sesshomaru's true form was much larger than her own was, Sylvia didn't back down. Instead, she changed her sword into a giant rolled-up newspaper and promptly whacked him on the nose with it, causing him to yelp and howl with pain. "BAD DOG!" she roared, still bashing him with the paper. "BAD DOG, NO BISCUIT!"

Unable to withstand the assault any longer, Sesshomaru quickly changed back to his humanoid form and said, "Well, I'm all out of ideas. Does anyone else want to try something before she kills us all?"

Then Katz stepped forward and said, "I thought I told you guys that I would handle my mother!" Everyone else quickly backed away, and the wizard turned and glared at Sylvia. "You think that just because you've changed your form that I'll be afraid of you? Well, guess what? I've got a different form, too!"

The mage's eyes glowed neon green and he vanished in a flash of emerald fire. When it cleared, everyone stopped and stared at the newly transformed half-demon. Katz was still short, pudgy, and balding, but now his skin was a dark iron gray, his hair was silver and spiky, and his eyes were the same acid green as the aura that now surrounded his body. "Wow, he actually looks pretty cool!" Nightmare said, poking one of the wizard's hair spikes.

"I think he's scary!" Mitsurugi cried, cowering behind Kilik.

"Both of you just shut up and let the man take care of his business!" the monk shouted, losing patience with his insane charges' antics.

"DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU CAN DEFEAT ME JUST BECAUSE YOU TRANSFORMED? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!" Sylvia snarled.

"I don't think I can beat you, Mom, I know I can!" Katz retorted.

With that, the wizard and his mother sent huge bursts of demon fire at one another, but both attacks crashed into one another and exploded. Katz peered searchingly into the oily black smoke, and then just barely managed to get out of the way when Sylvia brought her gigantic sword down in a crushing blow. He tumbled across the ground and quickly retaliated with several dagger-shaped bolts of green energy, but only one of them managed to score a direct hit, while a hastily created energy shield destroyed the rest of them. "LOUSY LITTLE FUCKER!" she roared as she manifested a whip of flame and lashed out at him with both it and the sword.

Katz managed to evade the sword, but the whip caught him around the ankle and dragged him off his feet. Sensing weakness, Sylvia moved in for a finishing blow, but the half-demon constructed a shield at the last moment and deflected the attack. As the two demons battled, everyone else watched and dodged stray energy bolts. When the Demon Lady pinned her son beneath his own shield, Vincent poked Sephiroth in the shoulder and said, "Hey, since Princess Muumuu is still alive, why don't you run over there and grab her before Sylvia accidentally steps on her."

"Fuck that bitchy Barbie doll! I'm gonna go see if Yugi's okay!" he replied, running to the smoking bodies of the two duelists.

"But he and Kaiba just got burnt to a crisp, you ninny-hammer!" the ex-Turk shouted.

"I guess I'll go get her, then," Squall sighed, rolling his eyes with disgust.

As the SeeD commander trotted past, Sephiroth shook Yugi's blackened shoulder and whispered, "Yugi, please say you aren't dead!"

Suddenly, Kaiba twitched, then coughed, and Yugi sat bolt upright, causing the silver haired villain to shriek, "HOLY SHIT! YUGI AND KAIBA HAVE COME BACK AS ZOMBIES!"

"No, we're alive!" Yugi croaked, coughing as black soot crumbled and fell away from his body.

Keeping along the walls to avoid attracting Sylvia's attention while she continued her attempts to annihilate her wayward son, the rest of the group sidled along the wall to where Sephiroth and the newly revived duelists were sitting. "How is this possible?" Auron demanded as Kaiba and Yugi got to their feet. "The two of you should have been burnt to ashes!"

"Hey, look! Their Elf Pox spots are gone!" Cloud shouted, pointing at Kaiba's arm.

"Woohoo! I'm not infected anymore!" cheered the hacker.

"How did that happen?" Vincent wanted to know.

"Maybe Sylvia's demon fire, combined with that pink lotion's allergic reaction, killed the disease?" Sesshomaru suggested.

Before anyone could say anything else, Sylvia happened to notice them and she turned around and blasted them with a pulse of pure force. "FOOLS! DID YOU THINK THAT I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU?"

The Demon Lady stormed over and glowered down at them. "THANKS FOR GATHERING TOGETHER SO I CAN KILL YOU ALL IN ONE SHOT, YOU BASTARDS…" she cackled, but then stopped and counted them. "WAIT A MINUTE, WHERE THE HELL IS SQUALL?"

Then Sylvia let out a bellow of pain as the SeeD commander drove the blade of the Lionheart into the back of her leg. "Here I am, you psycho-bitch!" he shouted, and then ducked as Katz sent a salvo of energy bombs sailing over his head and into her face.

Blinded and in agony, Sylvia staggered backward and fell, nearly crushing the rest of the group, but they all managed to get out of the way in time. "Goddamn it, Katz! Why don't you let us get the hell out of here before your big-ass mother crushes us all?" Yugi yelled.

"I can't until I get rid of her, so just grab Muumuu and stay the hell out of my way!" the wizard replied, blasting Sylvia again as she struggled to her feet. "You like that, Mom? Huh? I may only be a half-demon, but I've got more than enough power to take care of you, you old hag!"

Squall got to his feet, picked up the princess, and hurried to the other side of the arena with the rest of the gang as Sylvia managed to get up and continue the battle with her son without her sword. "Damn! For someone so small, Muumuu sure could stand to lose a few pounds!" he panted, setting her on the ground.

Suddenly, the pink haired girl's eyes popped open, and Kilik said, "Um…Squall? I think she heard you, and…"

Whatever else the monk would have said went unheard as the princess whipped out her electric wand and proceeded to mercilessly beat the daylights out of her rescuer. "I'm not fat!" she screamed, but then stopped and stared at the battling demons. "Hey, who the fuck are they?"

"The little guy with the silver hair is Katz in his demon form, and the big ugly bitch is his mother," Auron replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and Katz finally admitted that he's in love with you and he's fighting Sylvia for you!" Nightmare grinned.

"Well…WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU HELPING HIM?" she yelled, nearly knocking them off their feet.

"He told us not to, and he threatened to turn us into Troll-Dolls if we did," Sephiroth lied.

Meanwhile, Sylvia had grown desperate, so she launched herself skyward and hovered above the arena. The Demon Lady waved her claws in a series of gestures, and then a huge ball of black and purple flame ignited and expanded until it was nearly the size of a school bus. "LETS SEE YOU STOP THIS, BOY!" she bellowed, launching the sphere down at them.

Just before the ball could slam into the floor and explode, Katz managed to get under it and halt its progress with his own burst of emerald energy. The already-black sky grew blacker, if that was possible, and bolts of crimson lightning streaked across the darkness, adding a touch of bloody light to the insane clash of violet and jade. The ground trembled violently under the pressure of all the energy in the area, and it seemed like the entire world would shake apart at any moment. "Oh God, we are so royally fucked!" Kaiba yelled, struggling to be heard over the howling of the wind.

"Don't you ever have anything positive to say?"Yugi shouted back.

No one replied, because at that moment, Katz summoned up a last burst of power, and as he shoved Sylvia's attack back in her face, he screamed, "Get out of my life, you hateful old bitch, do you hear me? GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

Both attacks struck her, and caused a huge explosion of light, but no sound, for some odd reason, and everyone lost consciousness.

A little while later, a battered, bruised, and dust covered group awoke and saw that the arena was now a burned-out crater surrounded by rubble. Standing in the middle of the wreckage were Katz and Sylvia, but was normal again. Then, the Demon Lady dropped to her knees, coughed up some black blood, and wheezed, "I hope you're happy, son… You won, and now I'm going to die…"

She was trying to play the sympathy card, and Katz knew it. "Yeah, well you can just go back to Hell, then! I don't care anymore!"

Sylvia closed her eyes and smiled. "It took you forever, but it finally happened…you finally opened up your dark side." Suddenly, her body disintegrated in a burst of hellfire, but her last words echoed on the wind. "Son…I'm proud of you…"

After his mother vanished, Katz turned to Auron and Sesshomaru and said, "Well, the arena's gone, so we can't finish the tournament. I guess Muumuu will just have to pick one of you on her own."

"I already know who I'm going to marry," the princess said, her eyes shining.

"Really? Who?" he asked.

Instead of answering him, Muumuu glomped Katz and started kissing him passionately, which startled him so much, he popped back into his human form. It didn't take him long to get the idea, though, and soon he was kissing her back just as fervently "You know, I don't know whether I should be happy or pissed off!" Sesshomaru said, scratching his head in confusion.

"I don't care! I'm just happy this is over because that means I can go home!" Auron said.

Finally, Muumuu and Katz ended their passionate embrace, and they stared at each other with strange expressions on their faces. "Muumuu! I…I…" the wizard began, but she placed a finger against his lips to silence him.

"It's okay. The guys told me that you were in love with me, and I just want you to know that I love you, too!"

Before she could say anything else, however, King Dingaling's buffalo-drawn carriage dropped out of the sky, and the king quickly hopped out. "Muumuu, my darling daughter, what happened here?" he demanded.

"It's a long story…"

About an hour later, the princess told her father about everything that happened, from the crazy tournament battles to the final fight between Katz and Sylvia. "Father, I don't care what you think about untitled people; I love Katz and I'm going to marry him no matter what you say!"

"Okay, that's fine with me," Dingaling calmly replied.

"What? You aren't going to argue with me?"

"What for? Katz defeated the Grand Duchess of the Ninth Circle of Hell, so he's definitely capable of dealing with anything else."

"Well this is just great! You two can get married, and the rest of us can go home!" Kilik cheered, clearly ready to send Nightmare and Mitsurugi to therapy.

"No, you can't go yet!" Katz said.

"Why not?"

"Because…" the wizard grinned, "All of you have to stay for the wedding! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

As the demon mage continued his maniacal laughter, Cloud sighed "A wedding? Oh God, he's more evil than I thought!"

Yeah, this chapter really sucked, but oh well! Writer's blocks are a pain in the ass, so just be happy for me, okay?