Hermione lay in bed crying. She could hear Pansy Parkinson in the other room with Draco.
Hermione didn't know if it as the fact that Pansy was the girl Draco was having sex with, that was bothering her, or if it was the fact that he forgot about Hermione so quickly.
Hermione did know though. She wished Draco would have just gone to his room, alone, like she did. She didn't want Draco shagging other girls.
'But I don't want him either.' She told herself.
She didn't want Draco. She hated him. It was one awkward night. A one-time thing. It was never going to happen again. Especially now that she told Draco it was nothing and to forget about it.
'I wasn't cruel about it thought.' She reassured herself. 'He was. He was brutal about the whole thing.'
She then pulled her covers around her. She started to feel sick. Not ill, but she was crying too much and she was starting to feel nauseous.
She then thought she heard some one crying. The crying was coming from Draco's room.
Was Pansy crying?
She then heard Pansy leave Draco's room, then the commons. She was gone.
'What happened?' She wondered.
Hermione wondered if Draco had hurt Pansy.
'No.' She decided. 'He was cruel and hateful, but he would never hurt any girl. He told me that.'
She then remembered how nice he had been to her about Ron. He remembered how offended he had gotten when she assumed he had been abusive before. That's when she realized Malfoy was not just Lucius' son, but he was his own person. He was Draco. He was nice and gentle when he wanted to be. She thought back to how gentle he was with her in the furnace room. The way he held her face.
Hermione closed her eyes tight, tears leaking out.
She couldn't understand why that night had effected her so much. Sure, he was the first boy she had ever made out with, but it was Malfoy. It's not like anything else could have came out of that...no relationship could have formed.
'Then why do I care so much?' She asked herself.
She thought back to all the hurtful things he had said. How could he be so different? Malfoy is one personality and Draco is another.
She began to cry...and feel sick again.
She sat up abruptly. She could feel her stomach churning. She jumped out of bed and ran out of her room, and quickly sprinted to the bathroom.
She leaned over the toilet and threw up. After a few long seconds, she fell to her knees next to the toilet. She began to cry again.
'What's wrong with me?' She thought.
She'd never felt this way. She never felt so hurt by a guy before. Not even Ron made her feel this horrible when he tried to take advantage of her. But Malfoy did. Malfoy did this to her.
She grabbed her aching stomach, leaned up and once again threw up into the toilet.
-
Draco was lying on his bed. Thinking of what he had just done to Pansy. He didn't want them to, but tears were slowly sliding down his cheeks.
'I hurt her...I physically hurt a girl.'
He thought back to he and Hermione's discussion on abuse.
'I didn't mean to hurt Pansy.' He thought.
He then heard some one run through the common room.
'Hermione?' He wondered.
He had heard Pansy leave, so it had to be Hermione. What was she doing? He felt horrible about what he had done to her. He decided to deflate his enormous ego and go see if she was okay.
He walked out of his room. He looked over to her room, her door was open, he then looked over to the bathroom. He saw a girl's legs and heard her throwing up. He knew it was Hermione. He stomach dropped. He immediately knew that he was causing her sickness. He then saw her legs move and her whole body was now in view. She hadn't looked up yet though. She sat against the cupboards in the bathroom and began to cry. He looked away. He didn't want to see her like this. He caused this hurt. He had made two girls cry, for wrong reasons, within five minutes. He realized then and there how cruel and like his father, he truly was. He looked back over at Hermione. She was shaking. He felt guilt run through his body. It was not a good feeling. One he didn't want to endure.
He then saw her pale face look up at him. He didn't know what to do...but she reacted first.
Hermione's hurt eyes saw Malfoy standing there. She hated what she saw. She kicked the bathroom door closed hard.
He closed his eyes as he saw her foot move toward the door, his body tensed up on hearing the hard slam.
'What do I do?' He wondered.
He heard soft cries coming from the bathroom once more. He slowly and quietly walked toward the door.
'Hermione?' he asked quietly.
She didn't respond.
'Hermione, are you okay?' he asked.
'Oh. Idiot.' He thought to himself, 'Obviously she's not.'
No reply once again.
'Please Hermione. Are you going to be okay?'
'Why do you care?!' She yelled.
'You look sick. I just want to make sure you aren't going to go hurt yourself or anything.' He responded.
'Don't pretend to worry about me, Malfoy.' She snapped.
Draco took a deep breath. He did not want to yell at her, but she was being very difficult.
'1...2...3...' He counted to relieve himself.
Draco then sat down, outside the bathroom door.
Hermione heard him, but she didn't say anything.
'What is he doing?' She wondered. 'Why is he acting like this?'
She hated him. She hated him because she did not understand him. He was a cruel prick, then a nice guy, once again then the devil himself, then a kind person once more.
She wished with all her heart that he would just choose one. She would like him to choose the greater, but even if he did choose the devil...at least he chose.
'Malfoy...please go away.' She begged.
He stood up once again when he heard her talk.
'Not until I know you're going to be alright.' He stated.
Hermione squeezed her eyelids shut, tears falling, she shook her head, wishing he would go away.
'I'm sorry.' He said quietly.
Hermione opened her eyes.
'What did he just say?' She asked herself.
'I need to talk to her about what happened.' Draco thought.
'Hermione, can you come out please?' He asked.
'Why is he calling me Hermione? Doesn't he know how that makes me feel...he never calls me that.' She thought.
'I don't know.' She replied.
'Please. I am sorry. I need to talk to you about...about what happened.'
'I don't want to.'
'We need to...Hermione, you of all people should know how hard it is for me to say 'sorry'. I am an ass, and I never say it. You know it. I know what I said to you was wrong and out-of-line, and I truly am sorry for it. I'm sorry for hurting you. I think we should talk about it.' He said this hesitantly. He's never had half of those words come from his mouth.
Hermione listened to this in confusion. One part of her wanted to go out there and talk to him. The other part wanted to stay in the bathroom and yell and scream and tell him to go away. 'Go to him.' A voice told her. 'No.' Hermione said...aloud.
'Can I come in then?' Draco asked.
Hermione was a bit thrown off by this...as she is with everything Draco does.
Hermione didn't reply. She wanted him to come in and cry with her, she knew he wouldn't though. She wanted him to do a lot of things that she knew he would never do.
Hermione then saw the door opening a little.
'No.' She said standing up.
'But Hermione-'
'I'll come out there.' She stated.
She had just thrown up in here...she didn't want him to smell that...even though another part of her wish she had thrown up ON him.
She wiped her mouth, making sure there wasn't any vomit on her face and walked out.
The two young people were a sight...Draco was shirtless with long dark gray sweatpants on. His face was pale and soft tear streaks stained his face, barely visible though. He usually perfectly gelled blonde hair was messy and tangled. Hermione was in black stretch pants and a green T-shirt. Her silky hair was thrown back into a ponytail, her face was pale, her eyes (with smudged light brown eyeliner) were glossy and red.
She stepped out of the bathroom and looked up at him. She saw that true sorrow was in his eyes.
He looked at her as she stepped out of the bathroom. She was beautiful. He'd never felt more stupid for anything he had ever done, then right at that moment. His heart instantly fell lower than what it already was when he saw her, too. She had deep pain in her eyes, hurt was written on her face. He did that. Now...he wanted to fix it.
