This may not be consistent with the flow of the RK original storyline, be it anime or manga. If the discrepancies are too many, just treat this as an AU. (beams)
Summary: One woman's recollection of the times she shed her precious tears for the wanderer she took in, the man she cared for, and eventually the husband she so loved, and how they never really seem to stop, even after… One Shot
Warning: Dragginess. Hehe.
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.
The Tears Never Stop Falling
by: sRoze
The tears never stop falling.
It all started by the shady tree near the riverbank. It was night, and the twinkling lights of the fireflies dotted the warm, moving air. The way their radiance contrasted strikingly with the moonless night held me breathless. The simplicity of that soft lovely scene mesmerized me, so much that I didn't hear him coming until he stood right next to me.
His presence was soothing. Except, knowing him the way I do, I could sense something was troubling him. I didn't rush him into telling me, but when he finally did, I wished he had never said anything.
The embrace we shared felt so meaningful. He whispered in my ear. In denial those words floated around me. I heard them, but I could not react. He held me, close but not tight. In his arms I felt so secure and protected, like nothing in the world could harm me. Then the irony sank in. He was the only one who could make me safe, and yet hurt me so badly at the same time.
He walked away, out into the night, out into the unknown. Out of my life, as gradual as it was abrupt when he came into it. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop him from walking away. He was a rurouni after all, and wanderers were not bonded to anything, anyone.
And so there appeared the very first of many tears I would shed for him. I had cried, in silence, all alone, surrounded by the myriad of fireflies whose light no longer warmed my soul.
The next time they fell, they fell as tears of joy. I was smiling broadly and running with the others towards the two standing figures, a third slumping against one of them. It was night again. The full moon shone behind them, casting shadows on the ground.
I was very relieved to see them, even more so when I saw the unconscious redhead clinging on to his taller friend. Even if the gladness was tainted with pain at seeing his severe injuries, I was happy, nevertheless. Although there was no expression on his pale face, I knew he would be contented too, that he survived it all, that he was back with us.
Finally, we would go to Kyoto together. Just as I asked, just as he promised.
In between the many tough battles he fought, the tears kept flowing. Even if they were invisible. Even if I was crying inside, and no one realized. Not even the one who made me cry, though I suspected he knew, a little. I tried to be strong, and I believed I was. I understood he needed to do what was needed of him, and I always trusted he would come home after it all, come home to where his heart was. His family.
Still, the understanding and thefirm faith did not lessen the pain of watching his back fade into the distance. As much of a heroic figure others viewed him, I saw him for what he truly was. A human being, a mere mortal. One that could be subjected to torture and torment. Indeed, his unforgotten sins from the past were evidence enough. His mortality meant Death could claim him whenever It wanted, and he wouldn't be able to defy It at all. And one day, one day... that could, would happen.
Though, though, those tears were not always of concern and fear for his part. There were moments too when they reflected joy and happiness. Times like when he awoke from an injury-induced slumber and called my name kindly, '-dono' and all. Times like when he stumbled onto me, wounded by a formidable-but-defeated opponent and still flashed that gentle, reassuring smile at me.
The sparkle in those dewdrops emulated the beaming glow in my own self. And more often that not, there would be an equally vibrant radiance in his aura. He would be smiling, and emotional me would be crying hard, and that seemed so embarrassing. But it didn't matter. He, of all people, could see my true feelings behind the fountain of cascading tears.
And so a pattern was established. For every tear I shed for his departure into the next, maybe possibly his last battle, there was a twin reserved for his return, be he in tatters or a bloodied mess, as long as he was alive. Maybe teetering the edges between life and death, but always breathing. Alive, if not barely. And always able to offer the faintest of smiles to me.
There were also times when the tears didn'tinvolve his safety. The teardrops weren't far when he asked me for marriage, and they were present when I delivered our child. Kenji was so beautiful, and the look on his father's face was of handsome pride. During those times, the salty tearstasted sweet on my lips, tinged with a bit of hope, a dash of fear for the unpredictable future, and a great amount of sheer happiness.
Then, he left for a journey once more, this time to seek the enlightenment which had eluded him for so long. A rurouni again, perhaps, but not in the strictest sense of the term. I respected his decision because I understood the reasons, even if he did not admit them himself. He needed to face his past, to carry out the atonement for his sins, to gain the redemption that could bring him the peace and serenity he had always yearned for.
He did, in the very end. That was the last time I cried openly for him, taking quiet comfort in the fact that he was now truly freed. No longer weighed down by the burden of his terrible past, his soul washed of all bloodstains and impurities. He could finally fly, the long spirited red hair fluttering in the wind high up in a divine place.
Long after it all, however, I was still haunted by the slightest of many things. A soft whiff of jasmine fragrance I knew he loved, a ghostly visage of his kind smile… As time flowed by, the memories no longer hurt the way they used to. They felt warm and fuzzy, though their clarity did not diminish one bit with the passing of time.
Sometimes, in the darkness of the night, when I got gently pulled into the reminiscences of a bygone era, a lone tear or two would find their way down my cheeks in loving remembrance of the one man I gave so much to, and received a lot more in return.
Then, when I allowed myself to delve deeper into the layers of memories, I realized I could still remember so much. Water blurred my vision as the dam of emotions threatened to overflow. Soft images flooded my mind, their vividness clear and untainted. It was all I could do to close my eyes and just let them be, to recall and relive it all again. To see him once more, and hear his kind voice. To feel his gentle touch, and remember his tender smile.
Even if I knew he was happy wherever he was, it wasn't easy to erase all traces of sorrow from my heart, and keep only the happiness. Even if I knew he finally found what he seek for upon his departure into another world, the gaps in my little heart were slow to heal and be filled in.
Even if he was gone, the fond memories were never buried too deep. They were never too hard to recall, just a soft whisper in the morning breeze, a fleeting laughter in the evening sun, the sight of myriad of fireflies dancing in the moonless night.
And the tears never stop falling.
THE END
Author's Note:
(Spoilers ahead. If you don't know what eventually happened to KK, don't trudge forward! Don't ruin the show for yourself, like I did because I wasn't warned enough before visiting fan sites. Hmph.)
I wrote this for myself, actually. A combination of sad songs and sad stories is a good recipe for tears.I couldn't seem to stop crying, always triggered by a sweet sentence someone wrote, or a lovely line in a song.
Yes, yes, emotional me. Hmph, it's not like I can control them from falling. Besides, I already know it's embarrassing to weep in front of such an impersonal object, like a computer. This couple – Kenshin and Kaoru – made me cry more than anyone else in the world. I must be easily touched, you think. Heh, yeah. But Rurouni Kenshin is a moving saga, complete with elements of action, romance, humor and all…
I missed the fireflies scene, which I most certainly regret because I've heard so many saying that is one of the best scenes in RK. So, yep, have to use own imagination to picture what it was like. Plus I haven't watch the OVAs, so I definitely do not know the circumstances of everything: from KK's marriage to the birth of Kenji and then to Kenshin's death. How I learnt about them, then? Spoilers. Bleh. I hate spoilers, I really do. Hence the warning at the beginning of my author's note.
Ah, well. It's a one-shot, so I don't expect manyreaders for this. Just one or two reviews, please? Heh! Thank you for reading!
Posted on 18/3/2005, 10.15AM
