Chapter 7: Time To say Goodbye

I've been here a month. Christmas has come and gone and it seems entirely hopeless. My mother still won't speak to me, no matter how many times I've tried, no matter how many tantrums I've thrown in a feeble attempt to get her to look at me. She doesn't want me, or the baby.
Dad tries, he really does. He looks out for me a little too much though, making sure I don't strain myself or get too upset. Every time I get upset over Mum, he insists that I go back to bed. He thinks I'm too frail to do anything anymore. But I guess that's my own fault.
Bill, Charlie, Fred, and George have all come and gone. I'm sure it was the most awkward Christmas that they could have experienced. When they left last week, they took with them the last shred of normalcy in this house. They were the only ones who didn't treat me like a pariah or someone who needed to be coddled.
Ron for the most part ignores me. Mainly because he doesn't know what to say to me. I don't really blame him. He never knew what to say to me before the baby either. I guess that's just Ron for you. Harry, bless his soul, asked me to marry him. Mum spoke up then. Immediately afterwards she told me it would be a wonderful idea and that there could be some stability in our lives after the baby was born. When I said no, she told Harry he was only hurting himself by trying to help me. I've never seen her so cold.
Hermione and Draco. Now those two are so in love. They've made an effort to be there for me and to treat me like a normal person, but I can't stand to be around them. Every time I see the sparkle in their eyes it reminds me of what I lost. What was ruined by my carelessness and Ron's stupidity. Severus' stupidity. I miss being in love. I miss him.
Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Draco leave in a few days to return to Hogwarts. I loathe not being able to go with them, but I have no other choice. I can't even see them off. Dad thinks I'm too weak and Mum doesn't want to have to deal with me in the car.
After I say my goodbyes, I'm leaving. I'm throwing in the towel, so to speak. Perhaps I'll stay with Fred and George for a while. I know they won't toss me out or tell on me to Mum and Dad. While I'm gone, I'm going to look for Severus. I know now that I need him, and that this baby needs him too. And I think that out there somewhere, he needs me too.