Chapter 13: "Restless Nights"

Her eyes closed, Terra focused with determination as her pale eyebrows shivered through her golden walls of hair. Floating in front of her was a large boulder, one of four arrayed about her in the air, and she was sitting, cross-legged on a larger chunk of rock ripped right out of the ground below her, the crater clearly visible. Once again, she was wearing her costume of a black shirt with a yellow 'T', cargo shorts, and goggles (loose around her neck). She was just out in front of Titan Tower, and she wasn't alone.

Raven, floating in her own posture just beyond the boulder ahead of Terra, spoke in a calm, low voice. "That's right, keep yourself steady. Focus on your heart-beat… your breathing… your sense of the objects you're controlling."

Terra grimaced a bit. "I'm… wearing out, Raven…"

"Then this is when it really matters. Always push your endurance when practicing. Stay calm, stay focused…"

Sweat was starting to drip down Terra's forehead, her eyebrows quivering. The boulder on her left began to shake. With a faint moan, Terra steadied it, but she was gritting her teeth. Raven opened her own eyes, which tightened faintly. "…Slowly let the four stones down, always maintain your control."

Terra pressed her lips together, clenching her fists, and the four boulders slowly descended. She winced, her body aching for her to just let go, but she knew that was exactly what she had to overcome. Relief washed over her as she felt the stones touch the ground.

"Set them down securely, and lower yourself."

The boulders settled into solid positions on the island, and then Terra's raised sitting-stone slowly sank down as well. Raven dropped down to her feet, and when Terra had landed, she smiled a bit. "Well done, Terra. Relax."

Terra exhaled sinking over her legs with a pitiful moan. "Please tell we can take a break? My brain is about to melt out of my ears…" A thought-puff over her head revealed a chibi Terra with spinny-eyes losing gray matter out her ears.

Raven sweatdropped, then giggled gently, stepping over and offering her hand. "Actually, that's not bad for today. Come on, let's go inside."

Terra looked up at her, flushed with exertion, but wearily happy, and took Raven's hand before standing up. Before they started for the tower, however, she tugged on Raven's hand, letting the other girl know she wanted to say something. Raven looked back to her with calm curiosity.

Smiling gently, Terra pulled some hair behind her left ear, glancing down. "I wanted to thank you for helping me these last few days, Raven. I… was really awful to you when I was with Slade, and you haven't even looked at me funny since I came back… you went through all that to help me, too."

Raven blushed a bit. "It's in the past. We've all made mistakes, we all will again, but we can help each other grow up along the way. It's what friends are for…" She offered her hand.

Terra shook it, but then came close and embraced Raven. The darker girl was a bit startled, but softened, and returned the hug with a soft pat on Terra's shoulders. "Come on. You're probably starving."

The blond Titan laughed a bit, pulling away, and nodded as she wiped some quiet tears from her eyes. Finally, they started back into the tower. As they did, Raven quietly looked down ahead of her feet. She felt so different, but hadn't lost anything either. Terra was back, her friends were alright, she had overcome her father and Slade, even Malchior again, and Rith was a new friend she already felt she could trust implicitly. She really felt happy.

(Later…)

The two girls stepped down into the living room of Titan Tower just a few minutes later. Rith was in the kitchen, smiling in welcome for them, while Starfire, Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy were all seated in the booth. Just as Terra came close to the booth, Beast Boy zipped out in front of her, even Raven pausing to watch as the green Titan held something behind his back, grinning and blushing at once.

Terra blinked. "H-hey, Beast Boy… something up?" She was a little pink on the cheeks herself, rubbing her right arm self-consciously.

Clearing his throat a bit, Beast Boy whipped his hands out in front of himself, showing off a large bundle of taped-up paper. "I've been working on this the last few days, since I thought you might like it…" He sweatdropped. "Don't worry if it's not something you want, I just… wanted to try."

Raven was smiling a bit as she hung back, the others watching with controlled happiness as Terra slowly took the big wad of paper, her shock and embarrassment obvious. "B-Beast Boy… you didn't have to make me another present…" She was actually tearing up softly.

Beast Boy quickly waved his hands. "D-don't worry about it, really! I wanted to… a-and you might not like it either, so…" he stopped, scratching the back of his head nervously, glancing down and around.

The blond girl smiled gently, and then tore the paper off with a childish glee common to most people when they get a present. When she saw what it was, however, she froze, her eyes widening in soft astonishment. It was another heart-shaped box, almost exactly like the first one he'd given her. Almost in a dream, she carefully lifted the lid, showing the mirror on its under-side, and her own watery eyes. Terra bit her lip to control herself, closing the lid, and looked up at her green friend. He blushed, eyeing her warily. "Is it… okay?"

She shot in and grabbed him around the shoulders, the box shivering in her right hand she was squeezing so hard. Beast Boy was startled, could barely breathe, but laughed a bit, hugging her back as she let herself ease a little.

"Thank you so much, Beast Boy! You don't know how much this means to me…"

The others were sympathetically pleased, seeing how touched the girl really was. Indeed, Beast Boy couldn't quite understand how important it was, to have a connection with the joy she'd felt before, and to have the fear of it falling away completely dispersed by getting the simple little box back anew. The green shape-shifter could guess enough, though, and when they pulled back, just smiled. "Then I'm glad you like it."

Terra could only nod as she wiped her eyes at this point, clutching the box to her chest with her other arm. Robin and the others, even Raven, started lightly clapping for Terra. Beast Boy stepped back and started clapping, too. Terra blushed violently, scratching the back of her head. "H-hey, I just… got a present…"

Raven kept her calm smile as she finally let her hands down. "I think you finally realize you're home again, Terra."

Starfire flew over, grinning. "Yes, dear Terra! We can see in your eyes that you really are back with us now! It is a most wonderful day!"

Robin and Cyborg slid out of the booth, walking up to Terra as well. Robin smiled easily. "Let's have some dinner."

"Sounds great."

Rith already had a good meal cooking for everyone, and it wasn't long before they were sharing it around the counter, laughing and smiling like never before. Even Raven was cracking the occasional joke (usually at Beast Boy's expense). Sitting beside each other as they ate, Beast Boy and Terra shared a smile as the others went off on some old story. Though they glanced off again, under the counter their hands met, and softly squeezed each other. Both started to blush a bit, but the others didn't seem to notice.

They finally let go of each other's hands, and grinned easily as they continued munching on the wonderful food. Finally, Terra, around a mouthful of eggs and cheese, asked, "Wow, Riff. You're cooking iff reawy goof…!" she blushed, holding food in her mouth before it spewed out, and recovered with a fresh, big grin.

He chuckled a bit, sipping some tea (Raven enjoying some of her own off on the side). "Thank you for saying so, Terra. I'm just glad you like it."

Terra gave a thumbs up, and continued scarfing down. Starfire, however, clapped happily, and added, "Yes, yes! Rith has even become quite accomplished at cooking some of my favorite Tamaranian dishes!"

This time Terra blinked in surprise, and glanced over to see Rith give a subtly shake of his head and a meek smile. She half-smiled, and kept eating.

Soon everyone was full and happy. Rith seemed quite happy to take care of the dishes as well, making more than one Titan feel a bit guilty (even Raven did this time), but his polite insistence prevented any ideas to the contrary. So, gradually, the Titans all retreated to their rooms for the night, most all of them falling into a restful sleep…

(That Night…)

Starlight drifted through the windows in Terra's desert-themed room, her personal couch facing the beautiful view, her bed nestled in the opposite wall, the door over to the left if one's back was to the window. Terra herself was lying in her bed, under the covers, but was clearly not having a pleasant time. Her face tightened as her expression shivered, her head lolling from side to side every few moments. Her right knee abruptly bent, then she almost kicked off her covers.

Memories warped by fear into fresh nightmares. One in particular was haunting her. Raven, when they had fought in the computer facility, when Terra had worked for Slade… when she had tried to kill them all. Raven had almost beaten her, despite Terra knowing her biggest weakness… her heart. The darker girl's rage had come loose, and right up to the last moment, she almost had Terra at her mercy. She could see it so clearly, feel the self-righteous hate Slade had burned into her mind as she forced arms of muddy water to pull the warped, furious girl back toward the mud below.

Raven twisted and growled, her cloak unnaturally long, flowing down like a mud-caked, blue-cloth water-fall into the mud below. Pushing further, further… down into the mud… down into the darkness. Terra's heart split as she remembered what she had done, and then she saw it. Raven finally snapped out of her anger as her chin hit the mud, sputtering for air, her eyes flaring in panic. And it was Terra doing it, she was drowning her, pushing and pulling her into the mud as Raven struggled and lashed out for air. Those widened, lavender eyes burned into Terra's heart like red-hot pokers.

"RAVEN?" she screamed, the memory becoming nightmare as she took on her own role, trying to save her friend from her own power… but she couldn't. The more she tried, the more the mud sucked Raven down. That horrified expression froze in Terra's eyes, her own melting with pained guilt.

Then Beast Boy, knocked off the edge of a chasm. Cyborg denied any holdings on the same edge, both falling, Beast Boy's last attempt to talk some sense into her. She tried! She tried to help them this time, but her powers refused. They only hurt her friends worse. Starfire, sent flying off a cliff, too stunned to fly. Finally, Robin… buried. Every time she tried, and every time her powers denied her control, hurt her friends.

Once more, Raven coughing, gasping and sputtering for air in thick, muddy water filled Terra's mind, horribly alone and desperate. Terra fell to her knees in darkness, clutching her head as tears welled up in her eyes. NO! Please stop it! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please stop this! For some reason her eyes opened, and she stared down in growing horror as Raven's fearfully shocked eyes fell under the mud again. "RAVEN!" Terra screamed, and dove to help her…

Terra snapped upright in her bed. "NO!" she screamed, her hair flailing about, tears splattering down into her lap as her hands clenched her blanket with white knuckles. She gasped, breathing heavily for a few seconds, her eyes wide with shock. She faded, and dropped her face into her waiting hand, tears dripping down her cheeks. "…I'm so sorry…"

When Terra awoke, her startled scream had been just loud enough to reach outside her room, through her windows and door. Rith, sitting on the roof, furrowed his brow with concern, but didn't move to comfort Terra himself. He had a much more appropriate idea…

For a further few seconds, Terra just sat where she was, quietly whimpering at the horrible memories, and her own nightmare of losing control in the worst possible way. Her power, completely against her will, attacking her friends. She clutched her arms, shivering as she really started to cry, sobbing gently on her bed.

A knock at her door made the poor girl jump with fright, her head spinning around the edge of the wall to look at the entrance to her room.

"…Terra?" Beast Boy's anxious voice called through the door. "…Terra, are you okay?"

Outside, he stood with a worried frown on his face, slowly letting his hand down from the door. He could have sworn he heard Rith's voice telling him Terra needed him, but maybe he'd just been dreaming? He almost turned away when the door rushed open… and revealed a pitiful Terra standing before him in her pajamas. Beast Boy blinked, seeing her puffy, tear-filled eyes, shivering lips, and her sweat-damp clothing.

"T-Terra… what's wrong?"

"Beast Boy!" she exclaimed with a gasp of air, grabbing onto him. He quickly hugged her back, realizing she just needed someone with her that moment. The poor girl started to sob into his shoulder.

Anxiously patting her shoulders, Beast Boy glanced from side to side. "Hey, it'll be okay… why don't we go inside? I think you probably want some privacy, right?"

She just nodded against his shoulder, and the green Titan quietly led her back into her room. The door shut, and he sat down with her on the couch, Terra holding onto him and continuing to cry softly, her tears soaking into his own pajama-shirt. He felt terrible for her, but, also, he'd never felt so good, that he could be there for her, in that moment, that she needed someone like him there. He softly patted her hair. "It'll be okay… I promise…"

Finally getting back some of her voice, Terra started to explain. "I-I… remembered everything I did… when I was hunting you guys… betraying you… I saw you all, falling away, but… the worst… Raven… I can't get her eyes out of my head!" she whimpered, clutching his shirt with her fists desperately, trying to squeeze the image out of her mind. "She was drowning, Beast Boy. I was drowning her! I was supposed to be her friend, and I was making her gasp and struggle just to breathe! You guys… you've all done so much for me, but she… She's put her life on the line for me like you did, but you always liked me, Beast Boy. I can't explain why, but you did."

Beast Boy was a bit overwhelmed with such a flood of emotion, but he held onto her, making sure she knew he was there for her. "Of course I like you, Terra. You're a good person, you're funny, you're nice… Slade just… used your pain, pushed you to do bad things…"

"But I still did them!" she sobbed, hanging onto him. "Poor Raven… she was just angry at me, angry because I betrayed her. I hurt her heart first, that was the real betrayal, but then I… I can't believe I didn't stop, Beast Boy… I can't stand what I did! All I see is her gasping for air, and I can't help her! I'm the one drowning her!"

Beast Boy braced himself, and then pulled Terra up by her shoulders to look into his eyes. She pitifully obeyed his physical command, her eyes dripping tears continuously. "Hey… Hey!" he tried to get her attention back to reality, to the moment. She sniffed, a bit startled, afraid he was angry, but he quickly put her at east with a softened smile. "I just need you to think straight for a second, okay? Terra… dude, it's okay. It is. I'm not gonna say what you did isn't majorly bad, but you're not going to do it again," he powerfully listed out to her, gripping her shoulders. "Raven believes that, I do, we all do. But you have to, too."

"But I'm so afraid I will…"

"Good."

She blinked meekly at him.

"Because that way you'll make sure you won't, but you can't let it freak you out like this, Terra. Come on, it's just a nightmare now, just a bad dream. You and Raven are friends, we're friends, everyone here, all the Titans, we're your friends, Terra. Besides…" he offered a big grin like always, "you two really kicked that Canis-thingy's butt back to jail. You and Raven, you two gave him the knock-out punch, remember?"

Terra sniffled, nodding with a little smile. "Y-yeah… you're right, I… wasn't really thinking about stuff like that."

"But it's just as true as the bad stuff you're feeling so bad about, right? And that's what just happened, after all the bad stuff. See? You're a good guy, too," Beast Boy finished with a little laugh.

Terra actually giggled, wiping her eyes as she sat on her legs beside him. "Yeah… I am… thanks to you guys." She exhaled, and smiled at him. "Thank you, Beast Boy… For everything."

He bashfully smiled back as well, scratching his head. "Hey, no problemo! Just… being a pal, right?"

A mildly mischievous hint grew in her happy expression. "Just a 'pal', huh?"

He blinked, blushing a bit more. "W-well… yeah… Um…"

Her cheeks pink, Terra leaned over and kissed him on one of his own, sitting back with a meek smile, glancing down to the side as she pressed her hands into her legs. Beast Boy blinked, turned red, and fell over. Terra gave an 'eep!', and leaned over him from the couch. "You okay?"

His hand came up, giving a thumbs-up. "Awesome…"

Terra raised a hand to her lips as she giggled, and finally helped the poor boy up to his feet.

Rith smiled as he sensed Beast Boy meekly stepping back out of Terra's room, both blushing and saying goodnight before the shape-shifter walked back to his own room. He hadn't eavesdropped, but he had a fair idea of what had happened to the poor girl. Everyone had to work through their guilt, but they also needed forgiveness. We are not solitary creatures, by any means… He focused on the idea, and used it for his further meditations that night.

(Later…)

The next day, a couple of hours past noon, Raven was just walking through the tower after her meditation on the roof when Terra hurried up to her from the other direction. Raven drew to a stop as the blond girl excitedly ran to her, actually a bit short of breath when she finally stopped. "Whew, sorry! I just… wanted to talk to you before I went out to practice with Robin and Cy."

Raven smiled a bit, but was still at a loss. "Something wrong?"

Terra stood up as she caught her breath, smiled, and then Raven noticed a strangely powerful current of emotion behind the other girl's eyes. A bit concerned, she was about to ask what was wrong again when Terra abruptly came over and hugged her. Raven blinked, her arms awkwardly frozen past the thinner girl, a startled blush on her cheeks. "T-Terra…?"

Terra just held on for a moment. "Sorry to freak you out, but I just… needed to hug you, Raven."

Completely bewildered, Raven finally patted the girl's shoulders. "Ah… don't worry about it…"

Terra finally pulled back, grinning. "You really aren't angry with me at all…"

An eyebrow up, the darker girl blinked. "Should I be?"

The earth-mover giggled nervously, scratching the back of her head. "No, no, I didn't do anything stupid today, I just…" She calmed, letting her hand down, and looked at Raven with intent. "I had a nightmare last night, and it reminded me how awful I was to you… back when I worked for Slade. I… can't really get the look on your face out of my head."

Softened by the admission, Raven was still a bit confused. "My expression when?"

Terra looked down with a guilty frown. "When you were going under the mud…"

Raven winced a bit. It hadn't been a pleasant experience, no, but… She gave Terra a faint smile. "Terra, we can all see you're past that now. You're taking responsibility, doing the right thing by practicing, and we trust you. I think everyone in this tower has made mistakes. Some more obvious than others," she admitted with a faint nod to Terra, "but we all have. I can tell you're sincere, even if you hadn't proved it several times over since you recovered." She reached over, and put a hand on Terra's shoulder. "That's all in the past, it's over. They're just bad dreams now." She pulled her hand back. "Use them as incentive to push yourself harder while training, but don't let them make you too afraid to act."

The third female Titan could only smile back gently, avoiding tears again. Raven half-smiled in her usual dry, but sincere manner. "Go on. Robin and Cyborg are probably waiting for you."

Terra blanched. "Oh gosh, you're right! Sorry! Thank you so much, Raven!" she blurred out, shaking Raven's hand so rapidly the purple-haired girl could barely keep up. "I'll practice extra hard!" She took off the next second, leaving a dust-cloud streak for her wake.

Raven smiled, gently laughed, and continued on her way. Though she had no doubts about Terra's sincerity, that the girl was so guilty about that specific incident did touch Raven quite a bit. Of course, she had her own guilt on the matter, for turning so utterly against Terra, but it seemed she and Terra each felt the other had been quite forgiving about the event. She would do her best to be more caring if she was betrayed again, and Terra was doing her best not to fall to the weakness that had made her betray them in the first place. They were each making amends.

(Later…)

Over the course of the next week, Terra proved very disciplined about her training, and everyone noticed her improvements. She had much more precision and power in her techniques, and had even figured out how to create one automaton like the behemoths Slade had helped her make to fight the Titans before. It was a bit sluggish and awkward compared to her original pair, but considering she was solely relying on her own strength, it was most impressive.

Further, the few trouble-alerts they responded to allowed Terra to get back into the swing of things with the team. She and Starfire took out a group of thieves between a suddenly formed wall in front of their escape, and a barrage of low-power starbolts knocking them out. She helped slow down a runaway train near the city by making the dirt fill in beneath the vehicle, forcing it off the tracks in a controlled manner, slowing it down to a stop so that the Titans could help get everyone off. The Teen Titans, all seven of them, really were back in action. Almost as though she'd never left, Terra was just another member of the quirky little family.

Late one night, after most everyone was already asleep, Raven was walking down one of the halls in the tower. She yawned. "Milk sounds surprisingly refreshing right now," she muttered, just reaching the door of the main training room. Seeing something moving inside, she froze, and quickly jerked against the side of the opening, peering around the edge suspiciously. By the time her eyes could make out what it was in the gloom of the darkened room, she almost laughed at herself, easing upright. Rith was inside, apparently practicing. Raven stood upright, about to walk off, when she paused, and looked in carefully again, intrigued.

His staff and cloak neatly set aside on the ground beside the mat at the other end of the room, Rith wore only his baggy tunic, pants, and sandals as he adroitly sprang, flipped, and spun into various attacks, gliding through dozens of motions every heartbeat, flowing back and forth as if caught in an invisible rip-tide. There was an almost feminine grace to his movements Raven hadn't particularly noticed before, and as she watched then, realized he seemed to be more dancing than sparring.

When she realized she was actually enjoying the view, Raven blushed, surprising herself with it, and quickly glanced down. She was just about to leave him to his sparring, when he landed from a hop-kick, and relaxed for a breather. His eyebrows flicked up, and he focused over at the doorway. "R-Raven?"

She jerked, as if caught escaping, and gave him a nervous smile as she turned back around, unable to control her need to blush. "Hi, Rith… Sorry. I didn't mean to barge in on you…" I was just standing here for three minutes… She was privately dismal.

Only then did she notice how embarrassed he was as well. Sweating and exerted as he was, his cheeks were more red than exercise would have inflicted as he scratched the back of his dampened hair. "N-not a problem. I was just… uh… sparring." I must look like a mess… great…

Raven started to walk further into the room, which surprised him. She came right up to his mat with a faint smile on her beautiful face. "Having trouble sleeping again?"

He calmed while softening his smile, nodding. "Bad dreams."

A surprising amount of sympathy appeared on Raven's face. "Still?"

Rith bowed his head with a faint laugh. "Still."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

He would have blinked, his face rising to reveal his sincerely surprised expression. "T-talk? Uh… I…" he shrugged helplessly. "Just dreams, I'm rather used to them."

Though she smiled in her usual dry manner, Rith thought he sensed some disappointment in her expression. "Right. Sorry to bother you." She started to turn away, waving gently.

The desire to end the interaction on anything other than that note surged. "W-wait! Please…?" He tried to cover his abrupt demand.

Raven paused, looking back at him with some surprise. She'd never really head him speak with such anxious urgency. "What's up?"

He offered a faint smile. "I didn't mean to offend you… I … Just… try to not to bother people with my small problems. I very much appreciate that you would ask."

She turned apologetic. "No, no, I'm sorry…" she sighed. "You're always there for me, I thought maybe I could return the favor…"

"But you do…"

She glanced up at him, a bit confused. "How?"

He blushed, but remembered his oath. "All you have to do is be near me, and I feel much better about everything."

Raven was gently blushing, her eyebrows rising. "I really affect you that much?"

He nodded with gentle honesty. Then he flashed a smile, scratched his hair, and turned to collect his things. "S-sorry, I'm making this really awkward. Um… right…"

Soft surprise remained on her face. It was so clear to her in that moment, how infatuated he was, and she found herself very flattered. It was strange, though. She was so much trouble, why did he care so much about her? "Rith…?"

He spun around, almost like a deer in headlights. "Yes?"

She giggled gently, and nodded back to the exit. "Would you like a glass of milk? I was just going to get one myself."

It was clear how much the offer touched him. "…I would very much, thank you…"

Raven waited for him to put his cloak back on, and then walked out with him as he held his staff gently on the side. "Rith?" she asked softly as they walked.

More under control, his usual self, he smiled gently, and gave her his full attention. "Yes?"

She just looked up at him happily. "If you ever did need to talk about something, would you please give me a chance to help?"

Rith was genuinely stuck for a response. He was so honored, he couldn't believe she was asking to do it. "O-of course I would…"

Raven smiled warmly, nodded her thanks to him, and looked ahead as they continued to walk. She knew how Rith felt very well, but she still wanted to ask it. With Trigon defeated and Terra rescued, Raven didn't have so many worries pressing on her heart, and she wanted to be as good a friend to Rith as he had been to her.

"Raven?"

She blinked, looking up at him again.

Rith smiled at her as they reached the living room. "Thank you…"

She grew gently curious. "For what?"

His smile only grew. "For caring."

She blushed gently, and they moved to the kitchen. After Raven poured the milk (insisting on it), they sat down, and enjoyed a lovely chat about the recent events in the tower and among their friends. She had such a pleasant time whenever she was around Rith, it was always relaxing and exciting at once, always… safe.

When they were done, she started to bring their cups to the sink, but Rith hurried over. "Ah, ah. I must clean them now."

They both shared a soft laugh as he finally pulled the cups from her hands (privately careful not to touch her fingers), and washed them out briefly.

Raven stood by for a moment, and when he turned to her as he finished, she gave a gentle, if not mischievous smile. "You're really cute sometimes," she said, and then gently kissed his cheek. "Good night, Rith."

Her comment made him blush, and her kiss completely knocked him for a loop. He touched his cheek as he looked at her. "G-good night, Raven."

She controlled a giggle for his sake, finding his shocked embarrassment adorable, and hurried off to her room. Rith watched the door shut after her cloak, still standing in the dim room, stunned. She was so gentle about it, too… Finally, he shook his head at himself with a light smile, and headed off to his own room. It had been a wonderful night.

(Author's Note…)

Don't worry, I intend to give a satisfying finish to the story, nothing so subtle (though very cute) as what just happened. Again, thank you very much for the positive reviews, I really appreciate them, and they keep me focused when nothing else will. And, again, my apologies for the delay in updating. I want to get the ending done right, so I'm being more careful, a bit slower, than before.