Disclaimer: don't own Final Fantasy 8

Chapter 14

There were images… many different images… floating… swarming… swimming all around him and in the darkness. There were scenes too… and sounds… they all clambered for his attention at once but he could not give it to them. The walls had disappeared and he was being sucked deeper and deeper into this vision filled void. He could not reach for a single image for his body refused his wish to move. His eyes were open though, no matter what his wish was to close them… to be away from these things and figments of some other person's life. He knew that he was Squall Lionheart but… who was Squall? It felt as though there were two of him… living in the same body… sharing the same mind but with many different memories. There was this person… no… more like… a spirit lingering behind icy walls. She wanted to come out but… he didn't let her. Whoever HE was. The images crammed into his line of vision… trying to make him watch them all but… there was something… something important he was forgetting… something to do with… something to do with….

There was a path leading to a tiny pinprick of light off in the distance, cutting through the mayhem of images and sounds. There was something warm there… and welcoming about that light that he tried to reach for it… and found that he could move again. He felt like he was moving through water or something even thicker then that. But still… he could move. So he did. He reached for that light and felt himself be pulled away from it by the images. He started to panic and flail about, trying desperately to break free from there. Salt air invaded his nostrils and the sounds of people shouting and fiends screaming and tearing at the fleeing people ripped at his ears. The sights of blood being spilled whether it be that of his subordinates or the fiends that he and his comrades tried to cut through made him desperately ill. His body burned with the force of every movement as if he had been swinging a deadly weapon for hours on end. His hand burned and ached as he tried to push the images away with them. And then… something fell onto his face… and then the drip came again and slid slowly down between his eyes. His forehead burned where something had cut deep into the capillary ridden flesh.

His eyes widened in fear when he saw his hands. They were stained with the most corrupt substance in the world. Blood. It didn't matter to his panicking mind if it were fiend or his own. He had spilled blood on many occasions. That he remembered vividly. And the children… they were screaming but…. NO! He had not spilled the blood of those innocents! His hands were free of those stains. But the fiend blood… and that of his friends that had been injured and his own… that's what stained his hand now. Any wounds he had inflicted upon those he cared about were unintentional but the fiends… they had attacked and… and the sorceress had come and… he had too…. His mind screamed at him to embrace the memories and images and the sounds of a supposedly happy childhood but… he couldn't… not… not yet… his chest burned where his heart ached for those memories of the ones that he loved to return to it and fill it with warmth again… and then to be shielded by the hard, thick, cold, freezing barrier of ice that incased it for so many years….

The same shield that was beginning to melt as he grew closer to the ones that he had known from that lonely… no… the orphanage wasn't lonely… he was just… sad… so very sad… and shy… and scared…. His heart ached widely at him as something warm was wrapped around him and spread its warmth into his chilling body. He didn't struggle… couldn't struggle for his limbs had frozen again… this dark place… he didn't like it at all… he tried to beg those arms or that warmth to take him and free him from the chains that those images and sounds had thrown around him. He opened his mouth to scream… shout… whimper or groan… something… anything to tell that warmth to take him from this place and to never leave his side… but they wouldn't listen. The voices… images… scents… and feelings… they wouldn't set his tired and aching spirit free to return to his freezing body. The cold rain shouldn't have been making his body that cold… but it was… something… was making him so cold and… and so… so sleepy… making his limbs… lethargic and…. so… very… heavy…. His eyes drooped closed and slowly the chains binding his spirit to this place behind the spider web cracked barriers began to loosen and let him free. His spirit flew into that warm and comforting light and he embraced it this time….

There was light here… it rained on him and warmed his terribly chilled body. The sun fairies tiny little feet danced merrily upon his sealed eyelids willing him happily to open them that way they could dance upon his eyes and chase away the shadows in the corners of them. Slowly… painfully… he opened his eyes letting them become slits first before blinking slowly and opening them. The wind's long tapered fingers combed through his unruly locks of chocolate colored hair and played with the little dots of light dancing all over his tired visage. The blankets lat heavily on his aching body but he as warm. The wind was cool and his body was warm and he just… wanted to go right back to sleep. His eyelids fluttered closed again but the sound of a door opening and someone trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake him prevented him from returning to the warm clutches of sleep that he had been nestled in for some long. The warm cocoon he was in was not disturbed however and a cool hand was placed on his forehead, swiping away the bangs that the wind was using as miniscule jump ropes to play with. He slowly cracked his eyes open again and let the tiny little fairies to invade them again so they could swim in the twin bluish gray pools.

He was met with the sunny, relieved, yet concerned eyes of one of his two caretakers, Lony. She sat her light form on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through his hair, smiling gently. The sun glinted off of the earrings in her ears and he smiled. Even though his form still ached for some reason he tried to pull his arm out from under the cozy nest that had been made for him. The limb moved and was slowly pulled from its cozy nest to let his fingers wrap around the ones Lony had laid on his cheek. He knew that she was concerned and very, very worried about something no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He swallowed heavily and finally found his voice to reassure her.

"Hi," he murmured lethargically, his voice still swollen from the comatose like sleep he had just been shoved out of. Her eyes brightened dramatically and she leaned over and kissed his forehead lightly.

"Hi," she replied. "How ya feelin'?" Out of some old practice, one that he had no idea that he had, he took stock of what his body felt like. It felt like it wanted to go back to sleep now.

"Tired," he said softly, his voice still a bit rough. She smiled again and laced her fingers with his.

"Not up to playin' with the kids today?" he shook his head and looked at her apologetically. Before he could open his mouth to say something a little red head poked in, her overly bright gray eyes shining in the sunlight raining in from the room's slightly open window.

"Is Squally ok?" she asked timidly. Lony smiled at the little girl and nodded.

"He wont be able to come to the park with us today though," Lony said making the girl give an adorable little pout. Lony shooed the little girl out of the room gently and kissed Squall's forehead again.

"Get some sleep ok? Irvine's going to stay here with you so you just call him if you need anything alright?" she asked him gently. He felt himself nod as his eyelids grew heavier and heavier by the second. She smiled warmly and tucked the covers closer to his chilling body. He watched her move to the door in slow motion and wave goodbye to him. He felt his arm move and he knew that he had waved back albeit a bit weakly. His eyelids blinked again until they were pushed gently closed again and he was swallowed up by the darkness of the dream world an all those who now inhabited it.

Irvine waved as the group trudged up the slightly muddy path towards town, Selphie chatting happily with some of the kids and introducing herself while Seifer was giving one child a piggy back ride and forcing himself to smile. The Galbadian Cowboy smirked faintly as he shut the door and remembered why Seifer was looking so forcibly happy with the children. Irvine had won at rock paper scissors against Seifer and that meant that Seifer got to spend the whole day with the little rug rats. Irvine chuckled to himself as he made his way to Squall's borrowed room and poked his head inside. The room was very well lit with the sunlight pouring in buckets through the barely opened window and the opened door was letting that light spill into the hallway in waves. His bare feet padded quietly on the carpeted floor as he made his way over to the sleeping Lion of Balamb. His smile faded a little as he remembered that Squall didn't remember Balamb or anything about him or the others and what they had all been through.

The sunlight played gently in Squall's face and gave his slightly pale skin a more healthy looking tone. His face was smooth of the constant frown lines that he remembered to always be there when he was awake and actually had his memory. His lips were slightly parted and his left arm lay limply on the comforter that was tucked over him. Gingerly, so as not to wake the sleeping lion, he sat on the edge of the bed and watched his even breathing flow in and out of him. His thick eye lashes brushed against his skin in soft barely noticeable butterfly kisses as he dreamed and his eye lids fluttered, making the illusion that he was on the brink of wakefulness even though he was deep in the clutches of his dream world. The light and the wind playing over him made him seem like some… ethereal being and his heart longed for the sleeping boy. Irvine's slender fingers brushed Squall's bangs gently from his forehead and a smile crossed his lips when Squall murmured something in his sleep and tried to snuggle closer to the slight warmth that Irvine's hand provided. Without Irvine knowing it he leaned slowly over the innocently sleeping teen.

His eyes slowly closed and his heart beat faster, anticipating his lips connecting with his amnesiac commander's. But Squall shifted and rolled onto his side making Irvine jerk back and his eyes to widen in realization as to what he had just done… or… almost done. His heart screamed at him for pulling away when a sharp breath could have made their lips meet for the first time but his muddled brain fought down the longings of his heart and tried to make sense of what he had just almost done. Squall continued sleeping, blissfully unaware of Irvine's presence in the room. Slowly, Irvine's legs carried him from the room and made him close the door halfway. Sighing heavily, Irvine trudged into the living room and looked around. The room was flooded with light from the brightly grinning sky and letting it's rays pour upon the world and warm it from the chilling rain it had received just hours before. Irvine sat down on the couch and stared at the floor, allowing his mind to work out a few things. Like why he had tried to kiss Squall for one thing.

He was there again. In that place… that place where the images were… behind the cracked wall with all the chains that wouldn't let his spirit go and made him feel as though he weren't whole. Only this time… this time he was… he was able to move and look around. The feelings and images were not as intense now that they appeared to be dormant… but… the shadows… the shadows that lingered around the cracks behind the wall were swarming and keeping the images in chains. However, as the images grew further and further away… the shadows closed in. They swarmed around him and stole the heat and life from his body and spirit. They made the wall stronger… they continued to steal his strength from him and absorb it into themselves to make them stronger. They wanted to get out. Badly. He searched blindly for that little pinprick of light again but the shadows only made the darkness grow stronger, thicker, absorbing any light that may attempt to try and reach him.

His throat was clogging… his lungs freezing. He tried to scratch at his throat but his limbs wouldn't move… he stared into the darkness as it became a gelatinous substance sucking him into the blinding darkness and seeping into the tiny pores in skin. He tried to scream but as he opened his mouth the darkness spilled in and sank into his lungs and other organs. He tried to squirm, scream, draw air into his starving lungs. But the darkness only grew as his fear, pain and panic grew to immeasurable levels. The darkness covered his eyes and welcomed him into its deathly embrace and the last of his strength, warmth, and quite possibly, life was stolen from him to feet the death that feasted upon him.

A/N: sorry about the very slight almost yaoi scene being so crappy. First time at writing it. Hope you liked this chappy!!!