Chap. 54 Draco and Blaise

During dinner Hermione looked around for Draco, but didn't see him anywhere.

'Where do you suppose Draco is?' Hermione whispered to Ginny.

'I am not sure, but Zabini is gone, too, so they are probably together.'

'What if Blaise just isn't back from his home yet?' Hermione asked.

'He is. I saw him earlier complaining about Lavender not being back yet.' Ginny said with a laugh.

'Oh, well they are probably in the Slytherin common room or something, I'll go see. See you around?'

'Definitely, hope you find him.'

'Thanks, me too.' Hermione said getting up to leave.

Hermione traveled down to through the dungeons, but before going to the Slytherin dorms she went to her head dorms. She walked in and knocked on Draco's door. No one said anything so she went inside. She saw his trunk and other items there. She sighed and then left to go to the Slytherin common room.

She told the painting the password and it let her inside after some sneering and grumbling.

'Draco?' Hermione called when she stepped into the common room. 'Draco?'

Hermione was about to leave, but then she heard some low laughs coming from one of the rooms. She crept over to the door and pressed her ear against it. She immediately recognized Draco's voice, she assumed the other was Blaise. She knocked softly on the door.

Draco and Blaise looked at each other in fear, thinking they were going to get caught for drinking.

'Quick! Give the cask to me!' Blaise ordered Draco.

Draco quickly gave it to him. Blaise ran over to his bed and threw, not one, not two, not three, but four empty casks under it.

Blaise then swayed over to his door and opened it.

'Oh. It'sss only you Granggger!' Blaise slurred.

'Are you okay, Blaise?' She asked, picking up in his speech impediment and the strong smell on his breath.

'Fine, coooome onnn in.'

She hesitantly stepped inside and turned to Draco.

'Draco can we talk?' She asked.

Draco shook his head wildly.

'Nooo I'm with……Blaise right noooow.'

'You're drunk.' She said disappointedly.

'So? You aren't my mother…yoooou can't tell me what tooo do.'

Blaise then started laughing hysterically.

'What is so funny?' Hermione asked sharply.

'I don't know!' Blaise cried falling onto his bed.

Draco chucked a bit but then stopped when Hermione gave him the evil-eye.

'Draco, let's just talk for a bit.'

'Wow!' Blaise suddenly shouted. He fell off the bed and crawled over to Hermione and grabbed at her hand. 'Is that the Drake ring gave yooou?'

'Umm…yes. This is the ring Draco gave me.' She replied.

'Maybe I should take it back.' Draco said, not thinking it was aloud.

'What?' Hermione asked, taken aback.

'What?' Draco asked, not knowing he spoke aloud.

Hermione teared up and left.

'What did I say?' Draco asked, looking at Blaise's wide eyes.

'You wish you not ask Granger marriage?'

'Speak English you drunken fooooool.' Draco slurred.

Blaise shook his head a bit and wiped his glossy eyes.

'You just told your fiancée that you want to take back her engagement ring.'

'What!' Draco exclaimed standing up. 'I was just angry, but inside my head!'

'No fucker. You said that aloud.'

'Ahh shit!' Draco cried scrambling up from the couch and swaggering out of the room.

He caught up with Hermione in the dungeon hall, on her way back to the head student room.

'Hermione!' He called.

Hermione didn't stop walking. He ran to her and grabbed her arm, causing her to stop.

'Hermione, I didn't mean what I said, I didn't even mean to say it.'

'But you did.' Hermione said, not turning around to face him.

Draco stepped in front of her and saw she was crying.

'Hermione, I was drunk…I still am drunk, but I need to fix this.' He told her.

Hermione then pulled off her both parts of the engagement ring, the diamond ring and the emerald/ruby ring. She looked up at him and then put them in his hand.

'Here, you can have them back.' She said sadly and walked away from him.

He looked down at the rings and then caught up to her again. He stepped in front of her.

'No, I want you to have them. I know we are in a fight, but it doesn't mean I don't love you still. Every one fights.'

'Not everyone says they wished they hadn't proposed.' She said quickly wiping her eyes. She was trying to be strong. She didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing that he made her cry.

'I don't wish that. I was just angry that you and I were fighting earlier, and then you got mad at me for drinking and it all just kind of mixed with the alcohol and warped my mind, so I angrily thought that, well said that, but I promise you I didn't mean it.'

'Draco, we just got engaged two days ago…and you already angrily regretted it. How many more fights are we going to have that you regret it out of anger?'

'None, I promise.'

'You can't promise something like that. You don't know when we are going to fight again.'

'Hermione, you have to realize what I was angry about and I don't think you do.'

'That doesn't matter right now. What matters is the fact that you just said you wished you could take back the rings you gave me, out of anger. We fight a lot, and we aren't even married yet. What if later on you say you wished you never married me? What if we get in such a fight you go out and file for divorce? But then later on say "you didn't mean it"? Draco…you are just too temperamental!'

'What are you saying?' He asked quickly.

'I don't know…' She said softly.

Draco looked down at the floor, and then heard voices coming.

'People are coming, let's go into our room.'

He grabbed her arm and pulled her into their common room.

She tried going to her room but Draco grabbed her again.

'No. You can't run now. Sit. We have to talk. I love you, I am not going to lose you over a stupid fight.'

'This isn't just a stupid fight like the ones we've had before. You were drunk, but you still said you regret proposing.'

'I was drunk, there are the key words.'

'Why did you get drunk?' Hermione asked, sitting down on the couch.

'Blaise and I were just talking, and we decided to drink a bit.'

'Talking? About what?'

'Lavender…and you.'

'Complaining. You were drinking away your problems then, Draco?'

'Maybe.'

'You were. You were upset with me so you got drunk, then I came and you got angry with me again and said some mean things.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Being sorry doesn't mean you won't do something like it again. Getting drunk and saying things like that forces me to believe you could be capable of other things later on.' She said firmly, with her face turned away from him.

Draco closed his eyes and spoke.

'Hermione…I hope you aren't speaking of me hurting you…physically.'

He opened his eyes to see Hermione shrug and tears fall from her eyes.

He sat down.

'Look at me.' He ordered. She obeyed.

'Why do you have to say things like that?' He asked her, a hint of anger and sadness.

'It's just what I thought about when I saw and heard you back there.' She said.

'Hermione, we've talked about this countless times. You know how much I love my mother, and how much it hurts me when my mother hurts her. What the fuck makes you think that you can accuse me of acting like that?' Draco asked, his voice rising.

'I—I—I don't know.'

Draco closed his eyes again and a few tears fell.

'I need you.' He said quietly.

Hermione looked at him and watched the few tears fall into his lap.

'I know I talk to you some times like you are a burden, and it's your fault that I have to change and risk certain things, but it's not what I really think.'

'Why can't you just tell me the truth then, instead of acting strong and arrogant all the time?'

'That's how I am.'

'Tell me the truth now then.'

'You are never a burden to me. I risked my life for Potter and Weasley because I wanted to. I couldn't kill either of them, or be involved in their deaths no matter how much they both get on my nerves. I thank God that you are with me because it's because of you I changed, I knew I've always wanted to change, but never did. You gave me the courage to. I yell at you and blame you for making my risk my life, but it's my own free will.'

'When I came to find you I didn't think I'd find you drunk. I have never seen you drunk before and I don't like it. Even if you say you didn't mean to say you wished to take back my rings, you still said it.'

'I said I was sorry!' Draco cried.

'I know…but what if later on you say or do something worse, but then try to make up for it by saying "you didn't mean it"?'

'I won't drink anymore.'

'Draco, I don't want to make you not do things you like just because you're scared you will do or say something like that.'

'I'm not scared about that! I know I'd never hit you or anything like that! I'll stop drinking because you don't trust me not to hit you when I am drunk.'

Hermione didn't say anything.

'Are you okay now?' He asked.

'You still said it.'

'Well, goddamn it Hermione!'

Draco threw down the rings onto the table next to them and stood up.

'What do you want me to say then?' He asked. 'You obviously don't believe me when I say I didn't mean it, so what do you want me to do? Do you want me to announce to the school that I love you and propose all over again? Do you want me to go to Voldemort, take off my Praesul Charm and tell him I love you? Tell me what you want me to do!'

'I don't know what I want you to do!' She cried standing up alongside of him. 'But that scared me when you said that you wished you could take the proposal back! I mean, maybe it didn't mean as much to you, as it did to me! Maybe we shouldn't be together! Maybe you are just too different from me. We do fight a lot and maybe it will catch up to us later on.'

'Fuck!' He shouted, 'I love you! I fucking asked you to marry me, didn't I? I've never done that before so don't you tell me it didn't mean anything to me!'

Hermione tried to run to her room, but Draco grabbed her.

'No. You aren't leaving unless you can tell me right now that you honestly don't love me and you don't think we should be together.'

'We're too different.' She said quietly in a raspy voice, altered from crying.

'That's not what I fucking said for you to say.' He spat, 'Differences are things couples who love each other can get over, but if you say you don't love me then I'll let you hide in your room.'

'Let me go, please.'

'Do you love me?'

Hermione didn't answer. She just stood still, looking the other way, trying to make herself stop crying.

Draco closed his eyes.

'Goddamn it, Hermione…don't cry anymore. I can't bare it.'

'Then stop making my tears.'

The statement hit Draco like a wall of bricks. He dropped Hermione's arm and she ran into her room.

He fell onto the couch and placed his head in his hands, his elbows propped up on his knees to hold up his head.

I am the one who always makes her cry. I act like an ass and make her cry. Past times I've been able to make up for it later on…not this time. This time is different. I told her I wanted to take her engagement ring back…that is not normal for some one's fiancé to say to them. But I love her, and I know she loves me so I am not going to lose her.

Draco stood up, grabbed the rings, and walked over to Hermione's door. He opened it and saw Hermione lying in her bed, clutching a pillow against her chest. She was still crying.

When he came in she didn't even turn to face him. He walked to the bed and sat down.

'Hermione, I have gone through the rage and wrath of peers, my father and Voldemort, but never have I felt as much pain then as I did when you walked away from me… Hermione, when I am with you I feel as if I could endure a thousand deaths because you'll still love me…but now I feel as if your love is dying and without that I have no life to live. And now, when I see you sad I feel as if I can never be happy again unless I fix it. Your happiness is essential to my own. And I know I hurt you when I said I wished I hadn't given you those rings,' He then set the rings down on the pillow in front of her, 'but what I want more than anything is for you to be mine always. Since I was little I looked for love, but it ran away, I looked for my soul, but I couldn't see…but when I found you…I received all three. You helped me find love and my soul, and now, even if you no longer want me, I am forever yours.'

A deep pain erupted inside Hermione. She missed him. He was sitting next to her but she still missed him terribly. She looked down at the rings. She desperately wanted to put them back on, and tell Draco how much she loves him and tell him she'd be his forever, but she wasn't brave enough. She laid still and continued to cry.

Draco leaned down, his lips near her ear. She could feel his eyelashes brush against her cheek.

'Please, my love, don't cry…I am trying I am. I promise you I will try harder not to fight with you. I promise to show and tell you I love you more often, because you deserve all those things. Don't push me away forever…' He pleaded softly.

Hermione felt tears trickle down her cheek, but they weren't her tears. She finally looked at Draco. He was crying…over her. He was crying because she was leaving him. He was crying because he was afraid she no longer loved him.

'Draco…please leave.'

Draco stood up slowly, and left the room, also leaving the rings there.

Hermione cried herself to sleep.

Draco spent the night in Blaise's dorm. Crabbe and Goyle (whom roomed with Blaise) were told to sleep on the couch…and they did. Blaise spent the next day with Draco, not really trying to cheer him up, because he knew it wouldn't help, but just to make sure he wasn't alone. Lavender Brown was even back at Hogwarts, and Blaise still didn't leave Draco. Draco did not tell Blaise everything that happened the night before, but Blaise could tell that Hermione was most likely not wearing those rings anymore.

Draco lay on Blaise's couch…staring off.

'Drake…this isn't healthy.

Draco didn't respond.

'Maybe you two don't belong…I mean she was your first real steady girlfriend… maybe you rushed into things.

Draco again stayed quiet.

'Look at all the ways you've changed, maybe you should just take the things you've learned from her and go on with life.'

'I don't want to.'

'Now you are acting childish.'

'It was true love.'

'Don't go all fairy-tale on me now.' Blaise ordered.

'I wasn't a fairy tale it was true life.' Draco replied.

'I know, but you aren't sounding like yourself…I just don't want you to go through some sort of psychological breakdown, depression and then commit suicide.'

'I am not going to kill myself.'

'Good. No girl is worth that.'

'Hermione is worth anything.'

'Not death.'

'Even death.'

'Draco don't you fucking say stupid shit like that.'

Draco didn't respond.

'Draco…you better not even be letting suicide run through your mind.'

'I'm not. I don't want to go through that psycho step again.'

'Again? Don't you fucking tell me you've tried.'

'After I got the dark mark.'

'You mean last week?'

Draco didn't reply.

'I can't believe you tried to kill yourself! Why didn't you come to me?'

'Don't worry I obviously didn't go through with it.'

'Why?'

Draco sighed.

'Hermione.'

'You didn't because of Hermione?'

'I knew it would hurt her too much.'

Blaise shook his head.

'And now she's gone…' Blaise said to himself quietly, but Draco heard.

'Blaise…you can go see Lavender I know you want to. As long as you left me lay here, with no interruptions by Crabbe or Goyle, I'll be fine.'

'I am going to go say hi to her, but I'll be back. There's no fucking way I am leaving you alone right now.'

Draco just shrugged, and Blaise left.

Blaise walked into the common room.

'Hey, Crabbe, Goyle,' Blaise spoke.

'Yeah?' They asked.

'I hear Pomfrey's giving out free lolli's in the infirmary.'

Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other and then sprinted out the door.

'That should keep them away from Draco…' Blaise sighed, chuckling at his wit…and the stupidity of Crabbe and Goyle.

Blaise stepped out of the common room and saw someone sitting in the dungeon hallway, wrapped in a fleece blanket.

'Uhh…can I help you?' He asked.

A face looked up at him and he immediately recognized it to be Hermione's. Her eyes were red and she was crying.

'Oh…fuck. Granger. What are you doing out here?' He asked walking over to her.

'I-I-I was going to talk to Draco…and then I got a sick feeling and now I am here.' She said softly, choking on her words from crying.

'Talk to him? Crush him some more? You've ripped his heart, would you like to tear it up and place it in a jar to look at now, too?' He asked cruelly.

'No! I love him, but it's just so hard…'

'Granger, you're crazy.'

'I know. I haven't had a minute of happiness since we fought two days ago…and now…and now we're through.'

'Draco left the rings with you, didn't he?'

'Yes.'

'Go put them back on and go talk to him. I am going to go see Lavender.'

'I don't know if I can do that, Blaise.'

He shook his head.

'Fine. Then just sit there and cry.' He said, running off.

Draco stared at the ceiling, trying to count the tiles, to take his mind of Hermione, but the glossiness of his eyes kept throwing him off. He then sat up on the couch and stared across the room.

He heard someone come in. He wished Blaise had stayed with Lavender longer, he felt like he was burdening his best friend.

Draco sighed loudly and kept staring at the wall.

'Blaise, I thank you for wanting to make sure I don't go crazy, but I really think you should go spend some time with Lavender.'

'I'm not Blaise.' A timid voice spoke.

Draco whipped his head around and saw Hermione, wrapped up in a blanket, standing at the door.

'Hermione…' He whispered.

Hermione saw his tear stained face and quickly wiped her own eyes, trying to hold back more tears.

'Draco…' She spoke softly. 'You were my first love and although I am very young, I think I have loved you more than I could love anyone else. If we grew apart, I might meet some one new, but I know I could never love him as much as I love you. You are a part of me, and if we separate some of me goes with you. Without you I am not whole. And even if we fight and you make me cry and cause me pain, I've realized that you also are the one who causes all my happiness also. When I see you, even now, I still get those butterflies in my stomach…I still get nervous and I don't know why. All I know is that I am happiest when I am with you. I do love you, and always will, and…I don't think I can be truly happy unless I belong to you.'

Draco stood up and walked over to her. She didn't move away.

'You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that…'

He then slid his hands under her blanket and wrapped his arms around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and buried her face into his chest and cried softly.

Hermione then leaned back a little and reached for something in her pocket. She pulled out the two rings and looked up at Draco.

He took them from her gently and slid each one onto her small finger, just as he did this, Blaise, Lavender, Crabbe, Goyle, Millicent and Pansy walked into the common room. They became silent and looked at the clashed couple at the door of Blaise's room. They saw him slip the rings onto her finger, and they saw Draco's next action.

Draco leaned down and placed a tender kiss on Hermione's lips.

A/N: Wow…I updated like…three chapters today. I hope you're proud! REVIEW! (Oh and by the way, Draco and Hermione both knew the Slytherin group was standing there, able to see them.)