What I really meant to say, is I'm dying here inside
I miss you more each day, there's not a night I haven't cried
And baby here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
- Cyndi Thomson: What I Really Meant To Say

One Year Later

Maggie wiggled the doorknob, double checking that she had locked it, before hoisting her backpack up on her shoulder and heading down the front walk. The summer had been mild thus far, so rather than drive to her shift at BJ's, the local mom and pop burger joint in Pine Valley, she decided on walking to try and clear some of the depressing thoughts that had been plaguing her mind for the last few days.

The one year anniversary of the worst night of her life was fast approaching, and along with it came the nightmares. For months after Bianca's murder she'd had them, reliving those few torturous moments over and over again, Bianca's screams echoing in her ears, like fingernails on a chalkboard, tearing at her soul continuously. Eventually the nightmares became less and less, even if the pain in her heart never abated. But now they were back with a vengeance, worse then ever.

Reaching up to rub at the dull ache that seemed to be a permanent fixture in her temples lately, she was startled to find a small motorcycle riding beside her, creeping along to her slow pace. Maggie jumped a bit at the sudden appearance of the bike, having not even heard the engine revving at all as it made it's way up the street towards her. She looked towards the rider, who had managed to remove their helmet without coming to a complete stop. Long manes of chestnut locks cascaded down the shoulders of the obviously female mystery rider. A leather jacket covered a slim upper torso and faded blue jeans completed the warm looking ensemble. Maggie thought it extremely odd that while the summer wasn't as hot as it could be in Pine Valley, it certainly wasn't jeans and leather type of weather. She glanced away from her scrutinous stare of the stranger's less than appropriate attire to be met by a bemused smile.

For a brief second, as her gaze met the other woman's, Maggie flashed back to the night Bianca had died. Before the violence, before the bloodshed. The moment her lover had lowered her to the waiting silken sheets of the bed, the intensity of their embrace, the fierce passion and love in Bianca's eyes.

"Please, don't ever leave me."

"Never. I love you Maggie."

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I was just wondering if you could point me in the direction of Willow Lake?"

Maggie shook herself out of her momentary daze, trying to concentrate on what it was this mystery woman had asked her. "Umm, oh yeah, Willow Lake! That's about three miles from here. You take this street all the way till it dead ends, then a right, a stop sign, another right, a traffic light, then a left." Maggie had spent the better part of her teen years life-guarding up at the lake, so she knew the route to it from home by heart.

"So three rights and a left?"

Of course she didn't realize that it was a little more confusing for someone who wasn't from Pine Valley. Or so she assumed, considering she had never seen the woman in front of her before. And it wasn't really that big of a town, most everyone knew everyone else. "You're not from the Valley are you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

Maggie laughed a bit, feeling at ease with the stranger, despite the fact she didn't even know her name. "Just a bit. But it's not necessarily a bad thing."

Gossip was something Maggie was anything but foreign to. When she had started dating Bianca the news spread like wildfire. She hadn't even gotten the chance to tell her parents about their relationship herself before they had her practically tied to one of the dining room chairs, interrogating her on 'that Montgomery girl'. It certainly hadn't helped that Bianca's mother was the most well known woman in the tri-state area.

"Should I be worried about that?" The mystery woman chuckled a bit.

Maggie raised an eyebrow, raking her eyes over the body in front of her pointedly. That drew a full throated laugh from her companion. Maggie couldn't help but feel a strong pull of familiarity again at the sound of laughter floating through the summer breeze.

"I'll keep that in mind." Taking her right hand away from the handlebar of the bike, she reached out towards Maggie. "I'm Billie, Billie Monroe."

Trying to shake off the feelings of déjà vu she stepped off the curb, closing the distance between herself and the motorcycle. As she took Billie's hand in her own another memory struck her.

"Maggie, I swear, if you don't get in here right this minute I'm going to come and push you off that rock myself!"

Backing up farther onto the boulder away from her persistent companion, Maggie shrieked in surprise when she felt Bianca's vice like grip tugging on her ankle. "It's too cold to be swimming, it's the middle of October Bianca!" She giggled when the brunette started tickling the bottom of her feet to try and coax her in.

"Come on! It's been a total Indian Summer all week long, the water isn't that cold."

Shaking her head while still trying to playfully evade the younger girl's advances, Maggie sarcastically replied, "See, you just about had me until you said 'that'. You said it's not that cold. Which means there's a certain coldness factor to be had after all."

"Maggie!"

"What? You did it. I was almost convinced, but you just had to try and be all persuasive and convincing. Shot yourself in the foot this time Binks." Maggie playfully reached into the water, cupping some in her hand before turning to splash the brunette. She wasn't quick enough though to avoid the hand landing on her upper arm, pulling her down into the cold lake water. "Oh my God! It's freezing, I knew it!" Shivering, Maggie started to wade back over to her nice, dry and best of all, warm, perch on the granite rock.

"Stop being such a wuss, you just have to get used to it." Bianca swam up behind Maggie, gently placing an arm around her slim waist under the water. "See, I'll even help warm you up."

"Are you ok?"

Maggie shook her head, shaking the memories away from her conscious mind. Looking down she realized she still was holding on to the newcomer's hand. Not just holding, but almost crushing it in a vice-like grip. Quickly pulling her hand free, she blushed a little under the intense gaze of the woman in front of her. "Sorry about that, just kind of zoned out for a minute there."

Billie continued to look at the petite blonde rather curiously, wondering just what had made her so uncomfortable all of a sudden. "You sure you're alright?"

Plastering on an all too fake smile, Maggie nodded her head in the affirmative. 'God, what is going on with me lately. I can't get Bianca out of my mind.' She couldn't figure out why simply touching Billie had sent her back to that warm October night three years ago. It had been one of the turning points in her relationship with Bianca. They had been dancing around each other and their growing attraction for weeks on end. But the barriers had come down that night. Maybe it had been the full moon. Or the romantic setting of the light reflecting off the water, making Bianca look like a Grecian Goddess, her hair hanging in wet gleaming tendrils, her skin alive with the flush of mischief. Whatever had caused it, the first step had been made that night. Maggie could still feel the heat of Bianca's arms wrapped around her in the water, their bodies pressed together, bobbing along with the natural current of the lake, no words being spoken, they just held on to one another.

There was something about Billie that had triggered the memory in Maggie. 'I just wish I knew what.' She was more than curious to find just who this Billie Monroe girl was. "You know, I was supposed to be at work this afternoon. But I haven't had a day off in forever. Why don't I just show you myself where the lake is?"

Billie tried to hide her surprise at the offer, thinking she had already scared the girl off somehow. "Ok, sure." Reaching behind her she pulled a small helmet out of the knapsack tied to the back of the bike. "Here, hop on."

Before Maggie even had half a chance of strapping the helmet on she heard the roar of an engine gunning it's way up the street towards them. "Oh shit."

Billie turned to look towards the fast approaching muscle car. "Who's that?"

"Trouble." She handed the helmet back to the brunette, "You better go." Seeing the hesitancy on Billie's face she continued, "Trust me, Jonathon Lavery is not someone you want to tangle with, just go, don't worry."

Taking one last worrisome look back at the Mustang that was now dangerously close to nudging her back tire, Billie kick started the motorcycle and sped off down the street.

"Who the hell was that Maggie?"

Maggie tried to forestall the temper tantrum that she knew was seconds away from coming. "Just someone looking for the lake."

"And she couldn't stop down at the gas station and ask, why'd she have to bother you?" Jonathon scoffed, the angry red tint to his face not abating.

Instead of pacifying him with an answer like she normally did, just to avoid his temper, Maggie decided she wasn't in the mood to have to bow down to him. "Maybe because I was walking along the sidewalk and it was a lot easier for her to just shout over to me?"

The red hue now turned almost purple. Grabbing Maggie's arm forcefully, Jon led her to the passenger side of the car, practically tossing her onto the seat like a rag doll. He crossed back over in front of the grill, knowing that she wouldn't dare try and get back out of the vehicle. With a violent twist of the keys the engine roared to life.

"You're mine Maggie, and don't you forget it." He reached over, caressing her cheek with a calloused finger.

Maggie jerked away from the repulsive touch, wondering for the thousandth time what in the world Frankie had ever seen in the guy. "I'm not yours Jon, I never have been, and there's no way in hell I ever will be."

"Never say never Maggie. You're Frankie's twin sister after all, and there's not a Stone women that can resist my charms forever." He laughed cruelly, watching as Maggie shuffled as close as she could towards the passenger door.

"You really think I could go from someone as incredible and loving as Bianca to a waste of oxygen like you?"

She knew she probably should have expected it, considering how violent he truly was. And yet the smack across her right cheek came as somewhat of a shock to Maggie. She desperately didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt her, but she couldn't suppress the squeak of surprise and pain. Cupping her hand over her stinging cheek, she turned her eyes towards the passing houses along the road, absolutely refusing to let him see her cry.

"How many times have I told you NOT to mention that whore's name?" Jon seethed, his anger radiating off of him in noxious waves.

Maggie fought every nerve ending in her body that was screaming at her to defend her dead lover. She knew how much Jonathon hated Bianca, even now that she was gone. Rather than risk getting another smack across the face, one that no doubt would have been even harder, she slumped down into her seat, still cradling her bruised cheek. They'd be at the lake soon, where she hoped he'd be far too busy plotting his next boneheaded race with his posse of the terminally dim to pay any attention to her.