03: breathing pace
She had gotten there early. Her morning duties and session with the Hokage were over before the afternoon had begun, almost. It was either go back home and find a way to kill time (or have her parents find a way) or head over to Lee's training grounds and wait for him.
Of course, she stopped home to shower and change into a different set of clothes. Her session with the Hokage this morning (the early morning) had been intense, and even some four hours later, she still felt pretty drained. Lee wasn't exactly the same as Sasuke (traitor?), but Sakura saw no point in showing up covered in the sweat from this morning.
As it turned out, she decided a little of her jasmine oil couldn't hurt either. She was older and more grown up now, and caring about her appearance again seemed acceptable, now that she was a chuunin. Well, that wasn't quite it. She'd always cared. Wearing perfume was foolish for a ninja, but she was a woman now, too.
And...why was she making excuses for this all of the sudden?
She was just going to hang out while Lee trained. No, she knew she meant to join him almost as soon as she'd asked him; that's why she didn't put on her casual clothes after she showered. Just...maybe the jasmine was a bit too much.
She took a damp cloth and wiped off the dabs of oil she'd put in the creases of her elbows and her wrists, leaving what she had put on her neck and between her breasts (why there, she had no clue. Tsunade had suggested it after she'd gotten the bottle).
Idly throwing kicks at Lee's long-abused training post (look at those grooves), Sakura still smelled what she perceived as too much fragrance on her skin. She hoped Lee wouldn't get the wrong idea, although, what else was he going to think about a girl he liked showing up reeking of perfume like this? Maybe she could wipe some of with a few leaves off the ground.
"Sakura-san!"
Pfft. Too late now.
"You're here!"
"Yeah," she replied with a tiny shrug and smile. He seemed more enthusiastic than usual, and now she wished she'd never put on any perfume.
"How long have you been here, Sakura-san?" Lee, keeping a respectful distance between them, came closer and set his small bag down at the foot of the battered post. He fell to one knee briefly as he rummaged through his bag, head titled up attentively at her.
"Um, not that long. Maybe an hour or so." Lee zipped his bag closed and stood, his expression shifting to a frown.
"Sakura-san, you should have told me. I would have come earlier than this."
Sakura felt the corner of her mouth perk upward.
"How would I have done that, Lee-san?"
A thoughtful look.
"You're right. I apologize."
"Don't be silly."
Lee looked at her for a long moment and then smiled.
"I'm glad you came, Sakura-san." She nodded back with an obliging smile. "I guess you can tell."
"Well, I'm glad too. You're back safe in Konoha."
"Everyone has been telling me that," he said, his strong brow knitting together slightly. "It's as if no one thought I could do this," he added with a rueful look. "No one's even told me 'good job,' except of course for Gai-sensei. It's as though I had been a child away on a trip." He immediately shook his head to that. "No. No, it's just like everyone is happy I didn't die. I do not believe anyone but Gai-sensei and myself had any faith."
An awkward beat passed before Sakura took a step forward.
"I had faith in you Lee-san. Lots of... Well, I'm sure if Naruto were here, he'd be telling you how amazing you are."
Lee looked at her for a long moment, and in a way she didn't remember him ever looking at her before. He was...studying her. Looking for something. Something to tip him off that she was just being polite. Sakura felt the corner of her mouth tug down.
"Lee-san, I mean what I say. B-class missions are dangerous, and that's a fact you can't deny. I'm sure if I had gone on that mission, I'd be receiving the same responses. Surprise, disbelief that I actually completed it without losing my life..." Her eyes had settled firmly on his. "No one thinks much of me, either, you know."
Lee's brow knit together again, his gaze remaining on hers. She saw the muscles of his jaw clench as thoughts turned in his head. Briefly she looked him over. His posture was too tense. She stood in the silence, waiting for his response.
"Gai-sensei told me once to remember that we are from a class full of above-average ninja. Geniuses. I told him to please not tell me that again."
"Why?" Sakura had an idea.
"Something like that is easy to accept for other people. It would just become an excuse for me, if I heard that too often. We are two ninja all our own, Sakura-san. Our peers may all be geniuses, but we should live up to our own standards. No one else's."
His face suddenly seemed far too serious to her, even though if he'd said it in any other way, it probably wouldn't have hit her so hard. She felt her chest filling up with a strong sense of pride and determination, and a smile blossomed on her face from it. From him.
"You always make me feel good, Lee-san."
The stern look washed away. "I do?"
She gave a firm nod, still with that smile on her face. Infectious, one formed on his face.
"You should be proud of yourself. I have no doubt you will become an excellent ninja, Sakura-san. You already are, to me," he added, the boyish grin on his face revealing something of his more personal feelings towards her. Sakura felt herself flush to realize this. Sometimes she forgot. He'd promised to protect her until he died, and he'd meant every word of it. How she ever got to mean so much to him in such a short amount of time, she could never know. He still knew almost nothing about her. It just had to be chalked up to him trying to impress her. Maybe. At first.
How could anyone say something like that and be serious about it?
Lee threw a lazy practice kick at the post. Sakura blinked out of her muddled thoughts.
"Ah. Sorry. Do you want me to move out of the way?"
"If you want to. I'm not sure if there is actually enough space for two people to practice on. At least on this one...it's so worn," he said, his eyes shooting over to hers.
"Eh, no I'll just watch for now then. If you don't mind," she added, her voice slightly wavery. Lee noticed she was fidgeting all of the sudden and had to wonder if he was making her uncomfortable somehow. Maybe she was just uneasy from being alone with him like this. Before, when he'd saved her in the forest, even though they'd been unconscious, Sasuke and Naruto had been there.
He gave her a nod and dropped down to put on his heavier leg weights.
At some point during her time with Lee, Sakura had wondered if he even remembered she was there anymore. She'd watched him go through an agonizing amount of repetitions on countless different exercises. The training post ached and groaned in protest during all of it. Where they were, only the sounds of the wind and Lee's movements existed. For a little while, all she had done was close her eyes and listen to his ragged, yet paced breathing. Just being around him made her feel calm, determined. Although watching him train so long and so tirelessly was making her a bit anxious to get up and do something herself. Finally she rose from her seat on a nearby log and began to stretch.
Lee, in the middle of his umpteenth right high kick, looked over to her and smiled.
"If you'd like, I have a jump rope in my bag. That works the whole body." Sakura nodded thoughtfully, taking off her forehead protector briefly to run both hands through her cherry blossom hair. Lee watched her quietly as he continued to kick. Sakura felt a hitch in her chest again to see this. Until now he'd been looking straight ahead.
(Who the hell cares if he's looking at you? Guys look at pretty girls.)
(Yeah, but...this is Lee.)
(True.)
(Stop being so stuck up.)
Sakura knelt down beside Lee's bag, closer to him now than before. She could see his hair, normally in perfect form, had fallen slightly and matted to his forehead from sweating. He'd been sweating? She hadn't seen any dark splotches on his jumpsuit. What was it made of?
Her eyes moved back down to the plain canvas bag as she unzipped it and looked for this jump rope he mentioned. It felt a little strange to be looking through the bag, though. As if this was part of his ritualistic training and she didn't quite deserve to know what kept him going (since it was obviously in here). But inside, there was nothing too exciting or strange.
She spotted two more sets of leg weights, with "guts" written on each segment. There was a hand cloth, probably for the sweat. A small canister of muscle balm. Another bottle of water (the other was on the ground, half empty, a few feet away from him). Another canister of balm (maybe it was something slightly more medicinal than that old fashioned muscle balm). A pair of keys with a surprisingly cute good luck charm on them. And the jump rope.
Sakura glanced up at Lee, realizing suddenly she'd sort of been rummaging through his things, and saw his head turn away, back to facing straight ahead.
"I can't believe you use a jump rope, Lee-san."
"Nobody thinks much of these 'old-fashioned' things, but I think it's all I have, Sakura-san," Lee replied with a laugh. She grinned. That was true. And cute in a way.
"What is this!" she exclaimed suddenly. Lee glanced over again, mid-kick. She was holding the handles, the rope itself out in front of her, staring at it in amazement.
"Is everything you use weighted?" she laughed, testing the heft of the rope a few times.
"More or less," came the strained response. He'd started delivering blows to the post again.
"Amazing..."
It was dusk by the time the two of them had started running around Konoha. Lee had given Sakura one of the extra sets of leg weights to wear for their little jog, but after the fourth lap around the village, she had to stop and take them off. Sakura supposed she could've gone a little longer with them on, but she didn't want to hold Lee back in his pace. Of course, he insisted she wasn't doing anything of the sort, but she figured she would just pay attention and heed her limits.
Konoha at night in this late springtime was beautiful. The breeze was slight, but enough to be thankful for, and the moon was still full enough in it's waning to cast ample light for them to see by. They ran in silence for the most part. Sakura tried to keep up with Lee's pace, and he tried to go slower so she wouldn't burn herself out, although with his new weights on it wasn't that difficult.
She realized she was listening to his breathing as a guide at one point. It was steady, endless, rhythmic, and she liked that. The unyielding Lee. A genius of hard work. If he was able to ever utilize his chakra like other ninja, he would probably be amazing. He probably would've defeated Gaara at the chuunin exam. He probably would've been one of the ninja all the lords would've wanted to see fight. He probably would've gone with Shikamaru's team when Sasuke was captured (no, he left). He probably...
(Don't think stupid things. Sasuke is only tied to his brother. Not Konoha. That boy is gone.)
Sakura let out a sharp exhale. Lee glanced over.
"Are you all right? Should I slow down?"
"No, you're fine, Lee-san."
"Do you want to stop for now?"
"No. No, I'm fine. I was just thinking."
Lee remained silent, keeping his eyes on her as they continued to run.
"I was thinking about how we got to this point. Not just you and me, but you know, Naruto and the others. Why Sasuke left, I still don't know. I don't get it. And I don't really think about it, but it bothers me still when I do."
Lee simply listened, now watching the path ahead of them.
"I was thinking, if you had never gotten hurt by Gaara of the Sand, you could've gone with Shikamaru when they tried to get him back. But he would've just left again."
"I think that is true, Sakura-san."
"It is. It's stupid to think otherwise."
"Do you still like him?" An honest question, although for some reason now, Lee's feelings jumped up and attached themselves to it, making it come out much more terse than he meant to.
"I think it's possible to love someone but not like them, Lee-san. I still love him. He was my teammate with Naruto, and he's risked his life for me. And I had a crush on him for so long, I guess that contributes to how I feel."
"Oh. I see."
"But no, I don't think I still like him."
"Ah... Well. I am glad then, I suppose, that you're able to realize the truth in his choice to run with that Orochimaru."
A deep frown turned on Sakura's lips, but she looked over and nodded to Lee.
"Yeah..."
Sakura returned to her house sometime in mid-evening. She hadn't run all one hundred laps with Lee. She'd only gotten to about sixty. Lee stopped when she stopped. She told him not to on account of her, but he made the reason of needing to return the leg weights to his bag. She thought about just doing it herself, but for some reason, let Lee do what he wanted. They'd stopped, stretched, and walked back to his team's training grounds, where he put the weights back in his bag.
They still didn't speak much. Sakura noted this more than a few times, each time wondering if she should try to start a conversation, and each time telling herself she didn't need to. The silence was comfortable this way. Lee gave her his other bottle of water to drink, which she quickly accepted. He finished his own off and lay down on the grass (the part that wasn't worn away), eyes up on the sky.
Sakura remained standing, taking long sips of the water, looking at Lee's form in the moonlight. His hair was pushed off of his forehead and rather a mess. She thought it looked better messy and drenched in sweat than in that strange, perfect bowl cut, but she was sure he would never change his hair until his teacher did.
He laid there for a while as she drank her water, almost long enough to make her start to wonder if he'd fallen asleep or wanted her to join him. But then he sat back up, stretching his arms over his head. A silent smile, nothing flashy. She smiled back at him. He thanked her for joining his training tonight, saying it was very nice to have her around, especially smelling so nice. At that comment, she felt like slapping her forehead, but let the feeling pass and soon accepted it for what it was - a compliment.
He asked her if she would be all right going home and if she wanted him to accompany her. She declined the offer, but not with that polite, uneasy air. She'd be all right, she said. Hopefully there would still be some dinner left at her house when she got back.
"If there isn't, I can make you some," Lee had offered. Laughing, again, Sakura declined. Then thanked him for the evening, not quite sure what exactly 'the evening' meant, since they had hardly talked the whole time. Lee thanked her back, then got to his feet and packed his bag back up. Slinging it over his shoulder, he asked her again if she wanted him to walk with her.
"I'll be fine, Lee-san. Thank you. A lot. It's nice to train with a partner. Just train using only your physical body, I mean."
"Well, you are certainly welcome to join me again if you feel like it, Sakura-san."
"Thank you, Lee-san. I guess...I'll be going then. "
Lee nodded and lingered a moment as Sakura took a step off in her direction.
"Sakura-san."
"Yes?"
"We never really 'caught up'."
"No, I guess not," she said, the moonlight catching on her smile.
"Would you like to do that another time then? When I'm not training?"
"Definitely," she said with a firm nod. Lee's bright smile was hidden in the shadows. "Good night, Lee-san. Sleep well."
"You too, Sakura-san. Thank you."
