A.N. / Hi everyone! Sorry taking so long to update! Christmas season is finally over so my working schedule will finally get back to normal. I'm also trying to get the next part to my Harry/Ginny saga up and updated. So here's the next chapter! A Warning…This Chapter contains really serious drama and extreme sadness.
Chapter 41
The next day the four children were sent back to Hogwarts, but even though Mrs. Potter's eating habits had slowed down she wasn't blind. She did see a change in her daughter and it scared her. Grace didn't say anything to James or Lily as they were both still heartbroken.
Of course Sirius was upset and had grieved, Harold had been like his father. But Sirius was healing fast and was trying to get on with his life, so Grace found comfort in going to Sirius with a request.
"Sirius dear, have you noticed any change, any changes at all in Sarah's behavior."
Sirius scratched his head, "Well…now that you mention it, yeah."
"You do?!" Grace said glad she wasn't the only one.
"She seems to be acting a bit funny…as if…as if…she's five again, you know the age she was when James and I became friends."
"I've been thinking the same, that was a much better time back then. There was no war and no one had ever heard of Voldemort. Harold was home a lot more and Sarah was always one step behind him."
"You think this has hit her traumatically?"
"I don't know," Grace said grasping her shirt a bit tightly around her neck. "I have told Albus my concerns and he's going to get her checked out by Madam Pomfrey and he said that the teachers and himself will be observing her behavior. Would you…"
"Of course I wouldn't mind. Sarah has always been the little sibling I always wanted. I got stuck with a Slytherin suck up brother, who will probably be killed before he graduates from Hogwarts."
"Would you mind not mentioning this to James or Lily?"
"Are you sure?" Sirius asked wondering why it would be a problem.
"Yes, Lily and James are still shocked with the sudden deaths. Once they have grieved, I'll let you tell them our suspicions."
Being back at Hogwarts for dinner that night was much too painful for Lily and so she just ate in her bedroom. Surprisingly to Lily, James didn't attend dinner either and it was Remus Lupin, Gryffindor 7th Year Boy Prefect, to bring them dinner.
"How did you get in?" Lily questioned from the couch she was bundled up on. "Was it James? Because he knows we're not suppose to…"
"It wasn't James," Cassidy said coming in after Remus with another plate of food, which she guessed was for her and the plate that Remus had was for James. "Professor Dumbledore gave Remus and me the password to bring the two of you dinner."
"Exactly," Remus said nodding. "Now I'm going to bring James his dinner."
Remus left the room and Cassidy gave Lily her dinner while dragging the coffee table up to Lily.
"You know you could have summoned it?" Lily said chuckling while eating some chicken.
Cassidy nodded, "Yes that's true. But as much time as I spend with my lucky friend who was raised around Muggles and only does Muggle things when she's away from school. So you know her faults…"
"Faults?" Lily giggled while milk almost sprayed out of her nose.
"Yes faults," Cassidy said with her thousand watt smile, "her faults have rubbed off on me."
Remus came back downstairs, but he looked horrible. Lily wondered if it was that time of the month and she gave Remus a look that he could just read what she was thinking and he shook his head no.
"What's wrong Remus?"
"Not me," Remus said leaning against the wall right in front of the portrait hole.
"Then who?" Cassidy said frowning.
"James."
Lily's face changed and Remus noticed concern, "What's wrong with James?"
"No clue, he wouldn't let me enter. He told me to leave the food in front of his room and go away."
Lily sighed, "I guess you two should go. I'm done with dinner, I'm going to go see what's wrong with James."
Lily walked up the staircase that held Lily and James's separate rooms and the bathroom they shared. Lily noticed that James's food was still sitting outside of his room and when Lily knocked on James's bedroom door there was no answer. Lily tried to open the door but it wouldn't open.
"Locked?" She asked herself, "But he told me he'd never lock the door…incase I ever needed him."
Lily whispered the unlocking charm and was surprised to see the state that James's room was in. Of course, being a teenage boy that was very busy with school. As in studies, Quidditch Captain, and being Head Boy; James had little time to pick up his room. That's why of course there was a single house-elf to clean James and Lily's quarters.
But Bubbles, the house-elf, always did a spectacular job in keeping the quarters nice and neat.
Not only was James's room littered with clothes, and the usual stuff. There were books everywhere and it looked as if James had trashed the place on purpose. Lily was wondering where on Earth her roommate was, and was about to leave his room…when she spotted the doorway to the bathroom from his room was a jar open.
"I wonder," Lily whispered to herself.
But once Lily had opened the door to the bathroom she wished she wouldn't have. She started to scream and cry…as there was blood all over the bathroom floor. It looked as if James was unconscious laying on the floor in front of the shower, fully clothed with the water running.
Lily ran out of the quarters and up to the gargoyle that was in front of the passage to Dumbledore's office.
"Tootsie Pops!" Lily screamed and the passerbys and the gargolye gave Lily a look of confusion. Lily ran up the stairs and opened the door without knocking to see about twenty people in the room.
"Miss Evans?" Dumbledore questioned, "Is there anything the matter? If not could you please come back later…I'm kind of busy."
"This is the Lily Evans you're always talking about Albus?" A man sitting to Lily's left asked.
"It's James!" Lily said and Dumbledore noticed she was shaking and that there was a spot of blood on her shoes and pants. Dumbledore nodded and left his guests as he tried to keep up with Lily.
Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall followed Lily through James's room and to the bathroom, as the entry way to the bathroom through the hallway was locked. The sparkling light that usually shined in Professor Dumbledore's eyes had gone out and Professor McGonagall gasped as they walked into the bathroom and saw what was in front of her.
Dumbledore muttered a spell and the blood was cleaned up and the shower turned off. McGonagall stayed back with Lily as Dumbledore approached Professor McGonagall. And then in a stern tone…
"Minerva, get Poppy."
"What's going on Albus?"
"No questions now, just go get Poppy!" He said urgently as Lily saw her Headmaster summon a stretcher and float James's body to the stretcher.
"What's going on…"
"Shh," he said with a wave of his arm. And to Lily's surprise, Dumbledore snapped all the straps on the stretcher to James. The straps held down James's arms, legs, and stomach. "Come Miss Evans."
Lily obeyed and walked over to the Headmaster, and he held his hand out. "Do you know where this came from Miss Evans." Lily's eyes bugged out as she saw what was in the Headmaster's hand.
"No…no sir I don't."
"How did you know that Mr. Potter was in here?"
"I didn't," Lily said while her mind was swarming with all kinds of questions. "Remus and Cassidy came to bring James and myself dinner. Remus left James's food at the door of James's doorstep to his room because he wouldn't answer. So Remus asked me to tell James that his food was here. Cassidy and Remus left, so I went upstairs to tell James and ask him why he was being so rude to Remus. But James didn't answer the door when I knocked either, and that was a bit odd."
"I went into his room and it was in the mess that you saw it in when I brought you and Professor McGonagall in here. Then I was about to give up on where he was at and I noticed that the entry from his room the bathroom was a jar open and I went in and I saw James, and the blood. I ran straight to your office and the rest you know."
"You do know what this is, don't you Lily?" Dumbledore asked still referring to the object in his hand.
"I do sir."
"Albus?" Madam Pomfrey had just walked into the room and gasped when she saw what was in his palm. "Where…Mr. Potter?" Her eyes bugged out, "Miss Evans maybe you should leave."
"Miss Evans stays," Dumbledore said and Lily noticed a weird tone to his voice.
"But…but Albus, Mr. Potter will want privacy on this when he comes back to consciousness."
"And he will, I know for a fact that this will be between Miss Evans and Mr. Potter."
The next morning…
Lily decided to stop by the Hospital Wing before she headed to the Great Hall for breakfast, it was Saturday and there was no classes today. But Lily knew she needed to catch up on the work she'd missed while she was out for the funerals. Lily was suppose to study with Cassidy, Sirius, Gabby, and Remus in the Common Room later on. They were all going to catch up on their work. Peter said he was going to be with his new girlfriend Katy, and Lily didn't really like Katy. She seemed like a major prat and even though she wasn't pretty…it was known that Katy was very easy. And personally Lily didn't want to be around anyone like that.
When Lily arrived at the door of the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey gave her a look but let her in. Lily figured that it was because Professor Dumbledore demanded that Lily know what was going on and that she was able to know confidential material that she wasn't suppose to know.
"Mr. Potter is in the third curtain to the end. Misters Pettigrew, Black, Lupin, and Longbottom have been by already. So have Misses Potter, O'Brian, Westbrook, and Martinez. So I'm guessing he's awaiting your arrival."
"Thank Madam Pomfrey," but as Lily was about to walk off Madam Pomfrey stopped Lily.
"I trust that you'll go by the story Professor Dumbledore has told the others, that James fell in the shower and was unconscious for hours last night."
"Yes ma'am, but what about…well you know…the scars?"
"There is a potion that Mr. Potter is taking, and when he is healed up the scars will disappear. For now he's wearing his Quidditch jacket when friends come to visit." Madam Pomfrey walked towards her office and Lily walked the opposite way, towards James's bed.
"Lily," James said as he lowered his head. "I think you should leave…."
"Why in bloody hell should I?!" She raised her voice at him, "After all if I hadn't found you…you could be dead right now. Admit it James Harry Potter, I saved your life!"
"I know you have and I thank you. But I don't feel comfortable with you here."
"And why not?! Because I found out your dirty little secret, a secret you were hiding from me?!" She yelled and James was glad that he had a silencing charm put on around his curtain. He cast it as soon as Lily walked in. After all, he knew how much of a hothead Lily was and he knew he'd get gripped out by her. "How long James?! How long? How long have you been doing this?!"
"Not long," James said looking Lily into those beautiful big emerald eyes.
"How long James?"
"Since the night that we found out about the deaths."
Lily sat down on James's bed and touched his hand, "Why didn't you come to me? Why would you do this? I thought you were stronger than this. James, I never thought you'd be a cutter."
"Don't," he said turning his head away from her.
"What you can't hear what you do to yourself now? Well you listen to me James! You scared the bloody hell out of me," she said shoving him.
"Thanks for the hugs, kisses, and dozen roses;" James said sarcastically.
Lily rolled her eyes, "I'm not feeling sorry for you. I know you lost your father James, and I am sorry for that. But I won't feel sorry for you because you take your pain out on your own body. That you almost killed yourself and if Remus hadn't told me to bring you your food…you…you'd be dead right now."
"Why I didn't know you cared."
"Don't you dare make me feel like a coldhearted prat! Of course I care!"
"Really?"
"Yes James…" She said turning her face down as she was blushing.
"Then why were you with…" James paused, he didn't know if it was safe to bring Tyler's name up yet or not.
"Tyler," she said softly. "Why was I with Tyler," she looked up at him. "That's what you want to know right?"
James nodded his head.
"Well at first, you know when he was a substitute teacher, I had feelings for the both of you. But I realized I cared for you more. Then you got amnesia and you believed that Paris was your girlfriend."
"Don't remind me," James said and he made a face that looked as if he had just drank sour milk.
"I felt betrayed and I ran to the first guy I ran into."
"Tyler."
"Yes, Tyler. I knew he cared for me and I just threw all the emotions and feelings I had for you into a relationship with him."
"Well why didn't you take me back at the party."
"Because I was so mad at you."
"Why?"
"You got your memory back and you just expected me to get back with you."
"I didn't know what had happened Lily!" James said running his hands through his hair in frustration, much to Lily's annoyance. "I didn't know you were angry with me, and I didn't know that I was with Paris. All I knew was that you were gorgeous and that when I kissed you…I knew that you were the one My Lily Flower."
Lily smiled and they were touching hands, without knowing it. "James, I was angry…I was angry that you could just forget me and move on. When I was still stuck on you…"
"So if you were still so stuck on me, then how could you just move on to Smith so easily."
"I told you James," Lily said taking her hand back. "I just threw my emotions for you into him. All Tyler was to me was a really good friend that wouldn't betray me…that he wouldn't hurt me…"
"Like I did," James said looking down towards the ground.
"Look you get well and heal up, and I'm going to come visit you."
"Everyday?" He said with a smile starting to creep across his face.
"Of course," Lily said holding back the laughter that was about to take over. "Of course I will, as Dumbledore has entitled me to bring you your homework everyday after classes."
James groaned and Lily giggled, but of course James had to get smart. "But we don't have classes every day. So the days that we don't have classes…you know the days that you don't have to bring me homework, that means you'd just be coming to see me because you want to come see me."
"I'm going to breakfast," Lily said hoping off the bed and to her feet.
"Aww," James groaned.
"Yes, I get delicious food from the Great Hall and you get Hospital Wing food."
"Ugh, don't remind me."
"NO!!!! NO!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" There was a scream on the other side of James's bed curtain.
"What in Merlin's name?" James asked trying to sit up and Lily pushed him back down on his bed.
"You stay, and I'll check it out."
Lily walked out of James space and the happiness that he'd felt for the short time that Lily had visited him was now gone. James fell back into his gloom and decided that he'd just better sleep it off.
Lily didn't see the girl that was screaming and trying to fight off Madam Pomfrey or Professor McGonagall, but Lily knew both women could turn ugly really fast. So Lily decided she'd get a peak at the girl later on when she came back to visit James and Lily was headed off to the Great Hall for breakfast and hopefully a happy day with the girls.
Lily sat down among her friends and she was surprised to see them all so gloomy.
"Lily why do you of all people look happy?" Peter asked with this tone that Lily didn't like.
"What are you talking about?" Lily questioned, "If this is about James…"
"No it's not about James," Peter snarled.
"Whoa Wormtail!" Sirius said patting his friend on the back, "What's wrong." Peter shook his head and Sirius shrugged it off.
"Well if this isn't about James…then what's going on?"
"Lily," Cassidy said softly and grabbing onto her best friend's hand. "You know how Sarah has been acting oddly lately…"
"No," she said looking at all of her friends and they were just looking her with pity…that was of course except Peter and his girlfriend.
"It's Sarah."
Lily's eyes bugged out, "What about Sarah?"
"Well, Mrs. Potter noticed this when you guys were staying at her house and she mentioned it to Sirius a little while before you guys got back to school."
"She told you about Sarah before James?" Lily questioned.
"She knew how hard James was taking Harold's death and you were still grieving over Tyler."
"But you took Harold's death hard too."
"Not as hard as James, after all you found him last night." Sirius said and Lily couldn't help but agree with Sirius.
"So what does this have to do with Sarah?"
"I'm getting there," Sirius said switching seats with Cassidy and he was now holding Lily's hands. "Sarah's roommates went to Professor McGonagall this morning, Sarah had locked herself in the bathroom all night."
"She didn't…"
"No she didn't do what James did," with this Lily took a breath. "Sarah's not acting like herself, she hasn't been since she heard that Harold was dead. Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey had to go and pry her out of the bathroom, when they left the Common Room she was kicking and screaming."
"She's in the Hospital Wing," Lily said motionless.
"How do you know already?" Peter said with a weird tone on his voice.
"I was in the Hospital Wing with James and we heard a young girl screaming, but when I left I couldn't see who it was and I figured I'd find out later on…I guess I was right. Do they know what's wrong with her?"
Sirius shook his head, "Not at the moment, but I know they'll figure it out soon."
"Has anyone got in contact with Grace yet?"
Remus shook his head, "She'll be here tonight at six."
Lily got up from the table with a bagel in her hand and began to leave.
"Where are you going Lily?" Alice asked worried what her friend would do.
"Keep James busy, I don't want him to know about Sarah until we know what's exactly wrong with her." Lily walked off and everyone sat in silence.
"She still loves him," Gabriella said watching her friend leave the Great Hall.
