A/N - Okay i am not getting better with my update times and i apologize way beyong my ability. Idea just haven't been flying lately but now they are. I think I'll update quite a few of my stories now. Don't be afraid to yell at me or something if you really want to read it. It's probably motivation. By the way the brackets in Buffy's thoughts signify what's going on outside of her mind. Anyway here's the chapter.

- Buffy's Medical Room -

The doctors had cleared out of Buffy's room a long time ago. She was sure to survive obviously but she just needed a lot of blood. Right now Buffy lay still, almost like she was dead. She had covers up to her chest and was connected to one or two machines. This is how Buffy lay when dawn walked in.

Dawn knew she wouldn't be of help to the gang with Dana so she decided that this was the best place to be. She walked over to the bed and sat ont he side chair. When Dawn picked up her sister's hand she was surprised, with how buffy looked she ha;f expected it to be cold as ice. She smiled when the warm sensation was still there. Her sister was still with her. Buffy started flinching as Dawn put her hand down. Dawn smiled as she knew the complaining about being in a hospital would come, that there would be sarcastic jokes of her almost dieing and even more that Buffy smiled when her eyes opened too.

That smile dissappeared from their faces as Gunn and Lorne walked into her room. As Buffy suspected it wasn't a social visit seeing as when lorne spoke his words sounded with problem. "Hello pumpkin."

Buffy sighed and rolled her head as best she could on the pillow, "What's wrong now?"

Lorne and Gunn tried to look stupid until they saw the look on buffy's face. Gunn spoke, "Dana's going nuts, said she wanted to know about you. Since Lorne and I didn't know her well we figured we'd chill with you. Fred and Wesley decided better to go with the rest of them though."

Buffy had been through something very traumatic so obviously they didn't expect her to wear a smile so soon. It left them to wonder if this was even real. She spoke though and they knew this had to be real!

"Just the old gang again. No vampires or demons." She looked at Lorne, "I just meant no evil."

Lorne smiled, "I got it. No offense taken. I'd like to think of myself pretty human except for the green over me."

It brought a smile to everyone in the room. Buffy stared up at Lorne and Gunn after a small pause. "So you two worked together all these years and didn't even know that I knew both of you?"

Lorne and Gunn looked at each other and then at the same time answered, "Not a clue."

Buffy kept staring, "And you worked with Angel. He never said anything?"

A sly smile went to Gunns face, "Oh he talked about you a lot, especially when you died. I just always thought that it couldn't be possible."

Lorne nodded, "Indeed."

Buffy smiled, "Out of all i taught you then what you have been through with Angel you still believe there are things that aren't possible?"

They went silent but it was a good silence. Dawn broke it, "So what did Angel and them all actually do?"

Buffy knew this was coming. She still hated the fact her friends would violate her mind like that. Although her smile was still on her face but inside of her was a wreck just as it always was. She needed out of that room and fast without answering all the questions especially the one Dawn had asked. She didn't know one so she answered as discretely as she knew.

"They went into my mind and saw some things that happened to me. Found out I was immortal. Nothing big."

Dawn was surprised at the lack of emotion she was showing. She knew what happened was big but Buffy would talk nothing of it. Lorne and Gunn on the other hand though weren't as surprised. They knew she wouldn't say a thing until the day came where she couldn't handle it anymore. Lorne could also practically feel the pain radiating off her. Buffy was starting to get kind of awkward in the silence so she hopped off the bed.

"Where are you going Buffy? You're not fully better yet." Dawn insisted

Buffy just answered, "Been bit twice. Heeling gets faster everytime. Plus I need a little action. I'll check on Dana and then go for a long patrol."

Dawn was about to object when lorne cut her off, "We'll come with you to Dana but then you're on your own. I promise."

Buffy looked at him, "Good. Now let's go."

-Dana's Room-

Faith and Angel had her pinned against a corner yet again while the others pretty much lay accross the floor. Faith had pinned her hoping that they could talk instead of resorting to tranquilizers but it wasn't looking too good for everytime they had her pinned she managed to get out without listening to reason. This time she elbowed Faith in the face and then kicked Angel in the stomach. Both toppled over to reveal a Spike Kneeling right in front of Dana with a Tranq gun. He was about to shoot when a voice rang from the door and awkwardness spread throughout the room.

"Spike no."

Everyone turned to the slayer that had just enetered. Dana was the first to walk up to her and for the first time she showed her emotions by hugging Buffy. Again buffy just stood there as the room stared at them. When Dana let go she walked back to her cage and locked it. Buffy walked up to her and Started talking.

"Thank you Dana but you can't protect me. The people in the room act on their feelings when it comes to people that are close to them not their instinct. You can't survive in this world until you decide which one you're going to base your actions on."

Dana just nodded, "They hurt you."

Buffy nodded now, "Yea but I'm used to it. You should sleep Dana, it's been a long day."

Dana just walked to her corner that contained a pillow and a blanket and closed her eyes. Buffy watched for a few seconds but then looked around the room at all the faces staring back at her. It hurt her to look at those who think they cared about her. It was then she decided to stop hiding what she was thinking.

She adressed the whole room, "What you guys did was selfish and you know it. Knowing what you know now do you think you can help me?" When she got no answer she continued, "I didn't think so. The plan now goes that we stay until we can rehabilitate Dana then we go back to the way we were living. None of this happened. Now I'm going to go for a early long patrol."

Spike was the only one to speak, "But it's daylight for another hour."

Buffy sighed and looked at both vampires, "Exactly my point."

Then she walked out the door without word. It was quiet until Angel and Spike stood up. Angel looked towards him, "Where do you think she would be?"

Before Spike answered Lorne interrupted, "I think she wants to be alone."

Angel looked at him, "Kind of more concerned about what she'll do when she is alone."

Lorne sighed, "Leave her be. She just can't be around you guys right now. No offense i'm still fond of you all but look what you did. I mean you could of gotten her to sing in front of me somehow and she wouldn't even have known that we were in her mind. You could of taken more time to talk to her, I mean from what i hear these vampires here bring out the emotions in her. I'm pretty sure she would of even started talking to Dana. She's right when she said you were selfish and wanted to know. Now it's your turn to respect her wishes finally."

With that Lorne and gunn stalked out of the room leaving them with surprised faces all around. Again Angel just looked at Spike, "At sunrise we look."

Spike just nodded and looked back at Angel, "You know green man was right. We should of tried something else first."

Angel shook his head, "No time for regrets."

"Whatever you say daddy." Spike said with a smirk that Angel only glared at

Angel ignored it and looked to the room, "Well i think we could all use some sleep and when we wake up we'll take the next coarse of action."

The room just nodded and walked out of the room leaving Spike, Angel and Wesley behind. Wesley looked to the vampires, "She'll be okay. When was the last time you guys were around and she didn't make it?"

He didn't wait for an answer before leaving. Angel and Spike just stared at each other, "This is going to be harder then usual isn't it Angel?"

Angel just nodded, "Oh yea."

-In Front Of Hemrey High School-

It was almost sunset as Buffy approached her old high school. She stared at it like it was a book she was studying. Thoughts just ran threw her mind...

Buffy's thoughts I haven't been back here in almost 4 years. To look at something that had the most impact on you changes your thinking. If I hadn't burned down this gym, If I had a better plan and only if I knew then what i know now I wouldn't be where i am now. I wouldn't of gone to Sunnydale, My parents would still be together and most of all I would still be me. I wouldn't have to worry about the world all the time. This slayer gig only caused me to grow up, to realize reality and being a teenager then I didn't want to realize reality. To meet everyone i did in Sunnydale, to fall in love that was a teenager but they were slowly left out of my life and decisions. I once told Giles that everything in my life just get's stripped away. Angel doesn't know i remember but I do, that day he was human....He told me that we belonged to the world and never to each other. I guess i can't belong to anyone. I can even feel them coming. I should of figured. The sun is almost down of course they would come running.
End buffy's thoughts

She stopped staring at the old school especially the gym and started walking. She made it to the other place she spent most of her life in just as the sun set. She was walking around the cemetary as she heard a rustling in the bushes. She just stopped and sat on the bench trying to look innocent. When the vampire jumped out she didn't even flinch but started to taunt.

"Look I had a really bad day and I need a little bit of a work out. Do you think you can handle that? Because i can just stake you and look for someone else."

As soon as she was done talking the vampire lept for her. She moved so he landed on the other side of the bench.

"I'll take that as a yes to the work out then!"

The vamp easily got up and attacked again this time connecting his fist with her jaw. Their fight ensued.

Buffy's Thoughts I could of taken him out ages ago so why am I still wrestling with him like it's a life and death situation? (Then she remembered the night in the alley when Spike was talking about a death wish and one good day) So maybe he wants his one good day as much as Spike did. Or maybe I want mine. If all i ever do is dance and now I have to do it forever then how do I make the music stop? (The vampire flipped her so she was on her back and he was no straddling her leaning in for the kill) Maybe this can be it. I'll just close my eyes, no more fighting and it will al be over.
End buffy's thoughts

Without warning the vampire was throw off her and dusted. Buffy still lying there heard the vamp scream. She knew without thinking who it was that had saved her once again.

Without opening her eyes or standing up she said their names, "Angel and Spike. Why am I not surprised to see you here?"

She finally opened her eyes and jumped to a standing poisition. When she did she stood staring to the eyes of exactly who she thought she would be. Spike and Angel... They were looking at her in almost fury though. Spike just expressed it, "What the hell was that? You never stop fighting even if you're the one losing."

Buffy too expressed some of her anger, "You especially would know that wouldn't you Spike?"

He knew exactly what she was talking about, "And you still fought back."

Buffy wasn't expecting him to speak again, "Yea well I shouldn't of had to fight you off Spike."

Angel finally piped in, "What are you two talking about?"

Spike actually looked scared for a few seconds so buffy answered, "Seeing as you two are such good friends now I don't really want to ruin it by bringing up bad memories."

Angel just blew it off knowing if she wanted to say it she would eventually and if not it would be easy to get out of Spike. "We're not good friends."

Spike just agreed, "You actually think us two could ever be more then people who both need to save the world?"

"Hey if a witch and a vampire can be friends, if an empath demon and a slayer can be friends and if a vampire and a slayer can be lovers why can't two souled vampires be friends huh?"

It was quiet again but like always Spike broke it, "So losing your touch with the vampires huh slayer?"

"Yea well just need to train more. I ain't getting any older." Buffy said as she started walking knowing the vampires would follow her

"And I thought I was the one using that line in our relationship." Angel spoke

Buffy flinched at the word relationship but hid it, "If we had one maybe."

Angel flinched to but kept walking. Spike again started the new conversation, "So why are we out here when you could be helping the little psych 101 case?"

Buffy turned around and stopped him, "She's not psycho. She needs to be alone. Plus I always patrol, it's what i do. Why are you so anxious to get rid of me?"

"Oh I'd never be anxious to get rid of you luv. Except when i was evil but that doesn't count." SPike assured her

Buffy went and sat on another bench as Angel and SPike took a seat on either side of her, "It was so much simpler wasn't it?"

Spike and Angel just looked at her, "Not following here pet."

"When you're evil. It's just so much more simple. What was it you said to me once Angel, "No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live.'"

Angel remembered that night all too well. The first time he staked Darla. Since Angel couldn't seem to talk Spike did, "Yea but a lot of people start to hate you. Being cruel brings enemies."

"Like me." They were quiet and let her finish, "That night when you were talking to me and I was drunk you said I was a creature of the night like you and now I finally see it."

Angel gave Spike a 'I'll kill you later look' as he tried to assure Buffy otherwise, "You're not a creature Buffy. You belong in the sun and with a afmily and...."

"I know I know, every reason you decided to leave me but I finally realize Spike was right. It's how I'm destined to live forever. I finally know what it feels like and now all I need is fangs and a desire to drink blood and we'll be a little family."

Spike and Angel looked down in pain knowing she was probably right. Their heads shot back up though when Buffy's did just in time to se a puff of smoke in front of them. The vampires were phazed but buffy just stood up to their new comers.

"About time you came to check up on me. How'd I know you'd come when i was alone witht hem?"

The blonde one on front of Buffy just hit her and walked up to the vampires. The brunette followed her also. Buffy just stood there and watched as they spoke to their old lovers.

"Look, she thinks they'll be family..." The brunette whispered as she swayed

Spike and Angel stared forward at the two woman in front of them and both at the same time...

"Darla!"

"Drusilla!"