LMC: Hello, I am Little Mouse Crystal, and this is my first Inuyasha story. This story, is really different from all the other ones I did before, so I hope you guys like it. If you see any mistakes please tell me!

Also these are the symbols:

"" Talking

'' English

Poems/ Songs

Things you can't see or hear

There will be more in the future so please remember them, or if I make any mistakes please tell me!

Heart in Despairs:

Chapter one: Why?

Kagome knew all along, that Inuyasha had never stopped loving Kikyo. Every time when she sees him with Kikyo, her heart aches. The way he laughs with her and the way he embraces her… How Kagome wished it were her who he was embracing. It's a selfish wish, but love makes people selfish.

"Ka-Go-Me, WAKE UP!" yelled a very annoyed Inuyasha. Kagome slowly opened her eyes, and saw the pair of golden orbs she fell in love with.

"Good morning, Inuyasha," she said smiling weakly.

"What's going on with you?" he barked, "You need to get up early! We can't be late just because you're too lazy to get up! Look at Kikyo, she sleeps later than you do, and she's the first one to wake up!" he then stormed off.

"Why won't he stop comparing me to Kikyo? I'm not Kikyo, and I'll never be…" Kagome thought sadly.

I tried not to care,
but I know I still do.
This game you're playing is not fair,
and I know I'm going to lose it soon.

She quickly brushed that thought away from her head, folded her sleeping bag, and put it in her bag. She then headed towards the campfire…

"Hey, you're finally up!" Sango called happily, "I tired waking you up, but you wouldn't budge. Want to have some breakfast?" Sango offered her a plate. Shippo, who was glad to see Kagome awake, jumped into her arms. Kagome patted Shippo and said,

"No thanks, I want to take a bath, I feel really dirty." And she started to gather her bathing supplies. Just when she was starting to walk towards the lake, Miroku flashed her a mischievous smile.

Sango realized what Miroku was thinking and smacked him hard across the face. Leaving an angry handprint on his left cheek, "You. Are. Not. Going. To. Go. Anywhere!" she said sternly, her eyes blazing at Miroku. Miroku knew what Sango meant and sat down, but he had a slight disappointed look on his face.

As Kagome took another step, suddenly Kikyo appeared in front of her. "You shouldn't take a bath in the morning, even if you do smell like a pig," said Kikyo in a fake motherly tone while wrinkling her nose, "after all you will get dirty again, just go and eat some breakfast like a good girl." A loud laugh came by a nearby tree. Kagome spun around and saw Inuyasha laughing.

"hahahahaha, a pig, hahaha, Kikyo, you're so creative, but I'm afraid, she smells much worst than a pig." He sputtered, almost choking on his words.

His words stung Kagome deeply; she managed to mumble, "I know, but I want a bath right now," and quickly ran towards the lake. When she undressed, her long silky black hair fell on her milky skin. She walked towards the lake, and went in. It was extra freezing in the morning, but she don't care…Then she began to think again, "Why does Inuyasha always agree with Kikyo? When did this happen? Why did Kikyo have to get her life back? Inuyasha…"

Flash Back

"Hummm, now let's see… where are the orange berries that Kaede wants…" Kagome thought as she searched around the bushes… Then she heard an all too familiar voice from behind the bush.

"Inuyasha, do you love me?" said Kikyo. Kagome heard Kikyo ask. She saw Inuyasha looking at Kikyo, his usual hard golden orbs were looking at her softly. His expression was so gentle…

He answered, "Yes, Kikyo, I do, and I'll love you forever." Then he pulled her into her into a tight embrace. That moment, small droplets of tears fell from Kagome's dark brown eyes, she felt as if a thousand needles were pierecing deeply into her heart.

"Why are you crying?" she argued with herself, "You knew he always loved Kikyo, and you were just Kikyo's replacement while she's not there, but now she is here, it's natural for him to leave you." Kagome let out a soft whimper, and quietly headed back towards camp…

You brought me so much pain
you're breaking me,
you're the one who cause the pain,
how much crueler can you be?

End of Flashback

After 5 minutes, Kagome realized if she doesn't wash quickly, she'd catch a cold, and Inuyasha will scowl at her again. She put on a soft black T-shirt, and a pair of baggy pants.

As Kagome made her way back to camp, she was greeted with the sight of Kikyo giggling at something Inuyasha just said. He had this goofy smile, and was laughing along with her. That aching pain was creeping back to Kagome, and those hot tears were beginning to burn at her eyes. She shook her head, "Get a hold of yourself. We have been through this before, just pretend you didn't see them." she gathered all her strength and managed to let her face remain blank, as she walked towards them and had breakfast.

When they finished our breakfast, they started to head back to Kaede's village. On the way…

"I smell something," said Inuyasha alert, his nose sniffing and his eyes scanning around.

"I sense something too, but I don't think you would like it!" said Kikyo at Inuyasha. As soon as she finished, a deep red monster came out, his eyes were furious red, and his claws were still dripping with blood from another prey. Kagome could feel Shippo shiver as he climbed into her backpack.

"sss…he he he…I see you too have the shards, but…he he he….I'm going to take them!" said the demon in poor Japanese as he charged at them.

"Kikyo, I will kill him, so move back," said Inuyasha already having his sword to full power while his other had was holding her back.

"No, I will kill him." with that Kikyo took out her bow and pulled one arrow out. She carried her powers to the arrow, and shot it straight into the demon's heart. The demon winced in pain, yelp, and hopelessly died. Inuyasha smiled at Kikyo and said,

"That was brilliant!" A look of pain flickered at Kagome's eyes. Everyone saw it except for Kikyo and Inuyasha. Shippo nuzzled Kagome's cheeks trying to get rid of her pain. Miroku and Sango both knew that Kagome loves Inuyasha, but there was nothing for them to do. It saddens them to watch Kagome go through all this depression. Kagome walked towards the dead demon, purified the shards and dropped them into her small jar.

After that they started to walk again, and finally the reached Kikyo's village. Everyone came to greet them, it was obvious that some of villagers didn't trust Inuyasha, but because of Kikyo they treated him fairly. Everyone was so glad the Kikyo came back that they didn't even notice Kagome, or it might be because Kikyo was back, they no longer wanted to socialize with Kagome. Kaede noticed the eerie silent that she had, so she invited them in. The villagers rushed off to prepare a welcome back feast.

Inside Kaede's small hut, Kaede cackled softly, "So, how was your trip,"

"We collect a few more shards," replied Kikyou.

"Well, Kagome, did you find anything interesting?" asked Kaede.

"Yes, I found some of the berries you needed, here…" Kagome said handing over the berries to Kaede.

"Oh, good, I needed these berries a lot!" said Kaede as she smiled, and she gave Kagome a hug. Kikyo wanted to take a bath and so did Sango so both of them went of, while Miroku tried to follow them until he got a whack on his head by Kaede's stick.

"Well, why won't we all sit..." said Kagome and then… BANG, CLANG, DUMP came this hard crashing noise from outside at the trees. Kagome realized she her mistake and quickly rushed out, "Oh my, I'm really sorry, I…I…I forgot that I can't say S.I.T…" before Kagome could continue he held his hand up and slump back down to the ground. With Miroku's help they pulled him up stairs and had him lie down on the bed. Gently, Kagome dapped some herbs at Inuyasha's wound, Kaded pushed Miroku out with her so Kagome and Inuyasha could have sometime on their own.

"I'm really sorry," said Kagome softly and started sobbing.

"Feh…it's not like you…" said Inuyasha suddenly.

"Hummm?" asked Kagome.

"You're so soft now, it's strange," said Inuyasha looking straight into her eyes.

"When did she started to look so tired?" he wondered, "what happened to the Kagome that bickers with me none stop?" At that moment his gentle golden eyes was able to look straight into her heart, into all her pain. "You're not like before, you've changed so much, and why? Why do you always look like if you're about to cry?" asked Inuyasha softly.

You always see right through me,

When I least want you to…
I told myself I won't continue to love you,
but why do you always notice the weak part of me?

"Inuyasha…" muttered Kagome. Inuyasha could smell her tears and knew she was about to cry, but he didn't know why and he didn't understand. Then suddenly Kagome got up and ran out the room, she ran pass Kaede and Miroku, ran pass Kikyou and Sango who had just finished their baths, and she ran pass Shippo. Shippo quickly followed her he didn't want to see his mother cry.

Kaded looked at Inuyasha and shook her head, but Inuyasha just laid there confused. Sango got the picture and quickly followed behind Kagome. Kagome kept on running as fast as she could until she heard Shippo coughing.

"Kagome, please don't ran that fast I can't catch up!" Kogome stopped and pick Shippo up and started to cry. "Please don't cry, please, I'll go and hit that big and bad Inuyasha, for you…"

"Shippo…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry all of a sudden, it's just…I'm so tired, it hurts…I can't stand it any longer…I…I…" she was choking from her sobs.

"Kagome," said Sango, she walked up slowly to her friend, then gently placed her arms around her and gave her a hug.

"I want to go back…I need to go back…I…I…I just…"sobbed Kagome.

"Shhh…it's okay, don't worry we'll ask Kaede tonight, okay?" Kagome gave a small nod as Shippo and Sango led her back to Kaede's hunt.

I want to escape, to run away.
From what is called reality,
because I don't want to stay.
Don't want to admit the truth in front of me.

LMC: I hope you guys liked it! Please review, and don't forget to tell me if you see any mistakes! Thank you!