When Shannon woke in the morning, Sayid wasn't by her side. Panicking she sat up only to find that he was a few feet away. He and Michael were deep in discussion about something and didn't notice when she stood up. Shannon stretched and decided impulsively to take a walk. Last night while she and Sayid had been walking she'd noticed some ripe looking fruit.
"Sayid?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm going to get some fruit."
"Hmmm."
He'd ignored her. The old Shannon would have been pissed. The new Shannon wasn't. Okay, maybe a little. No girl likes to be ignored.
Shannon started to walk away, when Sayid's hand flashed lightning quick and grabbed her hand. He pulled her down and lightly kissed her lips. Shannon smiled broadly. He hadn't ignored her. "Be careful. There are some slick spots around. The rain may have stopped but it's still dangerous. Would you like me to accompany you?"
"Nah. I can handle myself." Shannon pulled her arm from Sayid's grasp and started towards the stand of trees she'd noticed the night before. On her way, she somehow picked up Claire, Sun, and Kate. Apparently all the men were discussing things because no one noticed that the girls were gone. Well, almost no one.
"Hey girls! Where ya goin'?" Sawyer's voice seemed unusually surly this morning. More often than not he was quite cheery, especially considering he had the best supply of coffee on the island.
"Fruit hunting," Kate replied. Shannon noticed that Kate didn't seem as rigid with Sawyer as she was with Jack. Shannon thought she knew why. With Jack, Kate had to be good. There weren't any mistakes allowed with Jack, you screwed up, you were on his shit list…or at least that was how Shannon saw it. When Kate was with Sawyer though, she sort of glowed. Like she didn't have to hide part of herself. Like she wasn't feeling bad about who she was. Shannon saw all this, but she saw something else as well. With Sawyer it was flirtation; with Jack it was love. Shannon recognized the guilt that only real love could make you feel. Sometimes when she was forced to tell Sayid of bad things she'd done in her past, she felt that guilt as well. It was only fate though that she would find love after a plane crash.
Shannon felt that fate had a cruel sense of humor when it came to her. It seemed like it was always fucking with her in some way or another.
(Flashback)
Shannon opened the door to her Australian flat and tossed her keys into the small tray on the side table. They made a loud, jarring clang that did nothing to help Shannon's headache. Her headache, however, had nothing to do with anything that had happened today. It had to do with what she was going to do tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day her latest scam of Boone was to begin. She'd already informed Brian of what was to happen and he was all on board. Now she just had to deal with this nasty knot of guilt in her head.
Shannon knew what would ease her mind though. Booting up her computer, Shannon eased down into the seat in front of the computer and logged onto her e-mail. Waiting for her was a message from Shannon's one confidante in the world, the one person she told everything to. Kate.
"Dear Shannon:
Things are…less than stable with me. I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you. Yes, you sound like you have a big problem. Maybe it's time to let your quest for revenge go? Or, if you want to continue, why don't you send a little money my way? A girl on the run could use it…LOL. But seriously. If this is hurting you so bad, let it go. Nothing is worth destroying yourself over. I should know. I've done it for years.
I'm in Australia. We've probably bumped into each other in the street and don't even know it. Tell me, my friend, how is it to walk so freely? I'm so tired of always looking over my shoulder. I can feel them closing in Shan. I'm scared.
I don't know when I'll be able to check my mail again, but know this. I love you, and whatever decision you make will be great. Trust your instincts.
Love,
Kate"
Shannon's instincts were all for joining Kate on the lam and never looking back. She wouldn't do that though. Shannon had responsibilities. Closing her account, Shannon decided to go out and have a drink. Lord, knows she'd need it.
Driving to an out of the way bar, Shannon crawled into one of the many empty parking spaces. It was the middle of the day, so the desertedness was to be expected. Walking into the dark, smoky bar, Shannon found a stool and ordered a drink. Scotch, a real woman's drink.
Despite her resolve not to chicken out, Shannon still felt the doubts. This was going to be a bigger scam than usual. Brian was going to ask for more. His idea, not her's. Not only that, but Shannon had a bad feeling. Not her usual "I'm going to hell" bad feelings, but genuine foreboding feelings. Something was coming. She felt it.
Just then the door slammed open and in walked a surly, broad-shouldered man. He had chin-length sandy hair, and a bad turn to his eyes. Something about him was familiar. He sat next to one of the few other patrons and ordered a beer. Though they were too far away to hear, Shannon could tell that the two men were talking. While the younger one screamed ex-con, the older man was definitely rich. Good posture, nice teeth, and an unhealthy glow to his cheeks. Make that a rich, self-deprecating gentleman. Shannon studied the younger man harder and with a jolt realized who it was. It was Bobby, (aka Sawyer!) her brother made flesh.
Shannon turned away so that he wouldn't see her and felt a spurt of panic. What was he doing here? In this bar of all places! Shannon knew she should have stayed home. She had a perfectly good bottle of gin there. She cursed herself for thinking of coming here. Why…why? WHY?
Shannon took a large gulp of her drink and turned to leave. She walked slowly by the two men, who were by now deep in conversation. As she walked by neither gave her any attention. At the last second, Shannon turned and walked swiftly to the restroom. Once inside she began to hyperventilate. She couldn't breathe. She grasped through her purse for her breather and with great relief sucked in her medicine. It took a few minutes, but she managed to calm down.
Shannon decided then and there, in the middle of a stank, nauseating restroom that this was a sign. She was going to tell Sawyer once and for all. He had a right to know, right?
But when Shannon came out of the bathroom he was gone. So was the man he was talking to. All that they'd left behind was an ashtray full of butts and glasses half empty. Shannon guessed that it just wasn't fated. She'd get over it, or so she told herself.
(End Flashback)
Shannon turned away from the flirting couple and looked at Claire. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Yes, something is. Tell auntie Shannon what's wrong."
Claire lowered herself to a fallen tree and sighed. "Charlie. He's so nice and sweet, and I like him, but…"
"He won't make a move?"
"Yes!"
"It's because you're pregnant." Claire glares at Shannon. "No! Not because you're…well…" Shannon makes a gesture in front of her, moving her hands down as if around a large bump. "…fat, it's that he's awkward. He doesn't know how to approach you."
"And how do you know all this?" Kate asked from where she had joined the conversation.
"You can see it."
"How?" Sun asks, now in on the conversation as well. Sawyer had disappeared, fearing the girl talk that was coming.
"When he helps her sit down, or when he gets her something to drink. Or even when she's bending over and he's looking down her top."
"What? He doesn't…"
"He does!" The other girls shouted, before they all cracked up.
"So, you think he likes me?"
Shannon sat down beside Claire and hugged her with one arm. "Yep. Might as well get over it. He's like a puppy dog, he's never going to leave now."
"That might not be so bad," Sun said as she reached overhead to grab some fruit.
Shannon immediately felt bad for saying what she did. It was unkind to remind Sun that her husband had left her…or at least as much as he could. He'd moved to the beach, and had left Sun behind. Of course everyone on the beach and at the caves had noticed. No one had said anything though.
"What do you say we take a swim? We passed that pond a few yards back and it's looking mighty inviting in this weather." Kate said. She was right. Despite the fact that the storm had ended only hours ago, the air was already hot and humid as the midday sun rose.
"I completely agree. Let's swim." Claire stood up and stretched.
Shannon decided that none of them had thought of the most obvious problem. "We have no swimsuits."
Kate grinned. "Who needs 'em?"
Shannon grinned back. "What a good point!"
Haha! Great chapter, if I do say so myself. Dude, Oenone, I was just touchy that day. I was taking everything a little too seriously. But I want everyone to know that if they disagree with anything don't hesitate to tell me.
