"Your mother means well, princess, it's just she not sure how to behave around you that's all." Ratnena's father said from his workbench. "She never got to know you as well as she knows your brothers."
"And who's fault is that," Ratnena said softly and bitterly as she worked on one of the engines from a star freighter in her father's hanger. The freighter was a Model 47 Light Freighter, the same type of freighter that Tahiri used to use but nowhere in the same class. This 47 was a flying nightmare compared to Tahiri's old ship, it was also a challenge that she was going to enjoy completing. The first night she got home was her mother's life day celebration. The joy at having her whole family there to see, her parents, brothers and their families, had buried any misgivings about this leave. Although her brothers and their wives were more stand offish and reserve, her parents were practically tripping over themselves to express their happiness to have their baby girl home at last.
"What was that princess?"
"Nothing dad," she said loud enough for him to hear her, "by the way who owns this piece of junk anyways? Don't they understand that there is a repair schedule for a reason?"
"Why, did you find the problem?"
"One of them anyways dad, the magnetic inducers are 15 points out of alignment."
"Can you fix it by yourself," her dad asked. Ratnena shot him a look that suggested that he was asking if the sun rose in the morning. He let out a small chuckle, "go ahead then. I'm glad you decided to hang out with your old man today, you and that little droid. I might actually get some of these small problems out of the way and be ahead of the game."
Ratnena just nodded her head as she walked over and grabbed the proper tools to fix the problems she found so far. The truth was after the first night of joy the rest of the week was sliding down hill fast. The tensions that always accompany her when she came home to visit were starting to manifest its self, with a vengeance. That part of the problem, she thought sadly, I never came home to live, always as a guest. Ever since she went to that fas school when she was four, she never felt that she had a home and family; just a bunch of strangers that she had to get to know every few months. Even after she was thrown out of school, she still spent more time in jail or on the streets then at home.
The first four days of her leave were more of a dance of avoidance and awkwardness between her mom and her then a vacation. Her mother trying hard to be her 'best friend' and doing all the tricks Ratnena was sure her mom learned watching those brain dead daylight shows on the stupid box. Ratnena, for her part, tried to be open about nonsense that had nothing to do with reality, trying hard to avoid the eventual fight that always occur. Her mother always assuming everything was joy-joy happy-happy in the world and Ratnena knew that it was a rancor-eat-rancor world.
So today, she decided to follow her dad to his shop and do some work on the ships he had there. Especially this flying safety violation that he talked about so much the last few days. She loved working with machines and computers, they were so clean and simple; not messy and disorganized like people were. If there was something wrong with the motor or the relay, it was a simple process of elimination to find the problem and fix it. Also, unlike people, once the problem was detected it could be fixed and stay fixed. Her mom never liked her coming to the shop, she never said why and Ratnena never cared enough to ask, but she always made her disapproval known.
RATNENA, THE NAVIGATIONAL PANEL NEEDS TO BE REWIRED AND NAVIGATIONAL CHARTS NEEDED TO BE RELOADED. Little Brother beeped out as he rolled out of the hatch. Ratnena had read the translation on the wrist communicator that Tahiri gave her it was second nature now. Although, secretly, she wished that she could get one of those worms Tahiri uses. Ratnena missed the kid, not that she would ever admit it in public, and hoped her apology found it's way to her by now. She also hoped that the kid was staying out of trouble, life would be dull without her around.
"Hey Dad, Little Brother says the navigation panel needs to be rewired and the computer needs reloaded."
"Figured it would be that way," her dad said walking over to her. "Does the droid know how bad it is?"
"He says about 4 hours for us but he can do it in about 2.6 hours." Ratnena said after cleaning up the translation.
"Ok tell it …"
"Him dad," she said, Little Brother always got cranky if he was called an 'it'. Seeing his confusion on his face, she explained, "Little Brother hates being referred as a object."
"Ok," her dad said not really understanding but just shrugged and moved on, "tell him to do what needs to be done on the navigation systems. I have a back up chart system under NAV in the shops computer, he can get a replacement chart from there." Little Brother beeped happily and head back in the ship. "Strange little droid?"
"He does a good job dad, not as good as you but still he is very inventive."
"How did he get the name 'Little Brother'?"
"Our partner gave him the name to honor a friend who died during the war, she has some strange ideas about what is and what isn't life." Her dad just gave her shrugged, clearly not caring one way or another. "So who owns this hunk of junk, I swear there are more problems with this ship then Denon has thieves."
"Well, the people down at the auction house never guaranties that the ships will fly, just that they exist." Her father looked up and down the centerline with unadulterated love that only a mechanic could have for a flying nightmare like this ship was. "Then again if it was top of the line, they would have charged me more for it."
"This flying death trap is yours?" Ratnena said sounding ever bit shocked as she felt.
"Yep," her father said grinning ear to ear.
"Dad, you can't fly and mom hates space travel, why do you need a freighter anyway?"
"Oh there were a couple reasons princess, after 30 years of fixing everyone's problems I wanted to do something for myself. Besides, I'm not a pilot but you are and maybe you could stop by and borrow it from time to time."
"Dad," Ratnena said blushing as bad as Tahiri always did when certain subjects were discussed around her.
"If you and that droid work really hard while you are here, it might be ready for a test trip by the time you are ready to leave." Her dad grinning even harder, "there is enough room in the cargo hold for a X-wing."
"Dad, I can't take this," Ratnena started to protest.
"If you can fly an X-wing, I don't think a simple freighter should pose that much of a problem."
"That is not what I meant," giving her dad a glare, "this is was expensive, you should restore it and sell it to make a profit like those other wreaks you have done."
"I could but I don't want too," her father said with that stubborn look that she inherited from him. "I never got to spend time with you when you were younger …"
"Oh so this makes up for it!"
"No, Ratnena," her father said angrily, "I can't ever make up for the mistakes I made in the past! You know that girl and I am not trying to bribe you into liking me either." Her farther turned away and seemed to struggle for the right words, Ratnena, for her part, was trying to not feel guilty. After all, she was the one who was hurt the most here and was right! "When we found out how special you were, how much smarter you were then the rest of us put together … your mom and I, we just wanted to give you the best that we could do. We didn't want you to have to work like your brother do, they spend as much time away from their families as they are there, or like I did in a dirty and dingy repair bay. That school was were al the important people came from, the real mover and shakers of Kidriff 5. We wanted you to be with the best, to learn from the best."
"Why, so you could brag about me to all your …"
"NO!" Her father spun around and Ratnena saw the pain and anger on his face that she had never seen before. "Because we weren't good enough to teach you! If you could have been a Jedi, we would have sent you to that Skywalker fellow to teach you! If we thought that to give you the best was to sell everything we own and live in the streets, your mom and I would have done it! I know you don't believe me but all we wanted was to give you the best that we could and we knew that we could never help you, we would have just held you back."
Her father walked over to his tool bench and began to clean tools that didn't need cleaning, as if he was just looking for anything to do. Ratnena felt an uncustomary feeling of guilt watching his back. This is what I get for hanging around a crazy Jedi, Ratnena thought but knew that wasn't the whole truth.
"I never thought you weren't good enough for me," Ratnena said softly.
"No child does, Ratnena, but we knew that we could never keep up with you and that you should be around people who can help you grow and use that wonderful brain of yours to help others. Not to become just another grease monkey like your old man."
"I like being a grease monkey dad, in fact my new squad mates depend on my skills with computers and a hydro spanner."
"I never said it was a bad job to have, just a parent wants their child to be better then they ever could be." Her father sat down heavily on his stool and gave her an uncertain look. "What I didn't know at the time, what I do know now, is that sending you there was the worst mistake I could have made. I know you don't want to talk about what happened there, or why you went on such a rampage after you come home but I know it was a mistake to send you way. What I don't know is how to say 'I'm sorry' and fix the problem."
Where is my crazy Jedi when I need her, Ratnena thought as she struggle with the words to tell her dad something, anything to help him understand. The bridge to the truth is always built upon a foundation of honesty. Tahiri voice seemed to whisper in her brain as Ratnena went over to the table and leaned against it. "Dad, I guess I … I mean … I thought you sent me away because you hated me."
"Honey no," her father said reaching for her as she retreated to a safer distance from him.
"I was the freak, I was the one who could out do anyone around. Even those spoiled brats at that stupid school … even the instructors … anyone. I thought that you wanted to hide me away, so you wouldn't be embarrassed by the freak that you produced."
"Honey that is not true …" he said again reaching out to touch her.
"I know that now, dad," she said retreating further. She didn't like anyone touching her, not friends or family or enemies, no one, except Tahiri. "It's just growing up and you know, it was easier to hate everyone else and myself then it was to … you know … try to understand. What I don't know is how to forgive or to say … I am sorry for everything I did."
"To forgive someone Ratnena, you just have to let go," her father said after a long pause, "but to say you are sorry. You did that already, there is no need to say it again. You said you were sorry when you came home to us again and know this princess, I am always proud of you. Yes, there were times I was disappointed in what you were doing but I always loved you and were proud of you."
"Well," Ratnena said after a very long pause, so long she was feeling very uncomfortable standing there. She gave her father a small smile and said, "I better … you know … fix this death trap I guess."
"Ok princess," her father said with a knowing smile on his face.
"Hey dad," she said after turning away and walking back to the ship, "thanks."
Did this ship belong to Tahiri or is there someone else out there who was a worst mechanic then she was, Ratnena though with a mixture of annoyance and love only a grease monkey could have about a ship. The engines were more of a mess then she had originally thought, luckily most of the parts were either on planet or here at the shop; so it won't be terribly expensive to get them working properly. With Little Brother's help and her own skills, they figure they could get it up to code and flyable within a month. Her father was skeptical about that estimate but then again he didn't know that Little Brother had prior experience with this class of freighter and the work they did on their slightly borrowed corvette.
Little Brother was having more success with the bridge area then she was with the engines. He had already finished with the navigation systems and downloaded a new set of star charts. The copies her father had was from Fusty's company, Little Brother had never like that company after they tried so hard to kill Tahiri, so he access the local military net and 'borrowed' one of their copies. This version had more information on it anyways, such as military instillation and supply depots, and access corridors that were reserved for military traffic. He liked this version much better then the one the Wraiths had access to, Kidriff 5 never skimped on getting the best for their soldiers, that he was going to augment the one on the X-wing.
Right now, he was busy rewiring the control and environmental control panels. He sound liked he was enjoying himself as much as Ratnena was working on this motor. Her father had made a few comments about the strange droid, but they very much made with a humorous undertone. Her father came over every once in awhile to check on their progress or to offer a bit of advice. Moreover, Ratnena found that the great weight that she seemed to carry around had been lessened. She was amused and annoyed that once again Tahiri had been right. Ratnena might be a genius when it comes to machines, computers, droids and other things but Tahiri had her beat when it came to people. Gods, I hope she never see that in my head, I never live it down, Ratnena thought with amusement.
"Hello anyone home."
Ratnena looked up and turned around at the sound of her mom's voice from the front entrance of the hanger. Through the open hatchway that her mom came through, Ratnena could see some people running by, obviously intent was to get somewhere in a hurry. They didn't look like base personal, Ratnena though as she began to wipe her hands clean with a rag. The brief look made her thinks of homeless people more then the workers found around here.
"Over here honey," her father yelled out as he waved to his wife.
"I was in the neighborhood and I thought it would be nice for the three of us to have some lunch together," she heard her mom say as she saw four more people running past the hanger.
"Is it lunch time already," her father said sounding surprised.
"Past lunch time, dear," her mom sounding cheerfully indulgently, "I know how you two are when it comes to getting dirty so I figure you would forget all about eating."
A larger group ran by, this time there was no doubt that something was wrong since there were teenagers and children mixed in the group.
"Mom, what is going on out there?" Ratnena asked walking slowly towards the hatchway.
"What dear," her mom replied sounding confused.
"Did you see anything strange when you came in?"
"Not really, there were more vagrants around then normal. I was kind of surprise actually, Security usually does a better job controlling them then they are right now. So where should we eat?"
"Little Brother Quack," Ratnena said in to her wrist communicator, he answered back immediately and said he was going to join her.
"Princess?" Her father asked as she reached the hatchway and looked out at the base. She could see a large group, and getting larger as she watched, around a freighter that had been impounded late last night by planetary security. She could see the two-security personal using a stun fence to keep the crowd back but would be overwhelmed very soon. Then she heard the words that chilled her to the bone.
"BLISS, I NEED MY BLISS!"
"Fas!" Ratnena ran back into the hanger, ignoring her parents' questions as she grabbed her bag of the floor and set it on the workbench. "Little Brother, call security they have a riot out there. Mom and dad stay here!" She grabbed her service pistol, making sure it was on stun and ran from the hanger.
By the time, she got back outside the crowd had grown even larger and a few had gotten past the stun fence. She could see that one of the guards was down as the second was fighting off three addicts for the control of his weapon. Other addicts were trying to force their way into the ship. She was 100 meters away when one of the addicts got the gun lose, 75 meters away when he accidentally fired a beam into the port engine housing. Even at that distance, she was still knock down by the resulting explosion. As she picked herself up, while avoid being hit by flying chunks of the ship, she thought she was hearing the screams of the injured but to her horror she saw that there were still people flocking to the ship. Not to help the wounded but to get inside the burning ship!
"Stop, get away!" She screamed out at the people as they, even those already wounded, fought with each other to get in the ship. She tried stunning a few, but there were just too many for her to take care of. She tried to shut out the screams of pain and ecstasy and the screams for Bliss. She tried tackling a 12-year-old boy as he ran past. The young boy fought with her, screaming that he need his bliss. She would have been able to save him if another addict hadn't knocked them both to the ground in her mad rush to the ship. The boy was able to get lose and Ratnena was helpless to stop him again. Instead, she laid on the ground as she watched in horror as he ran straight into the flames. Ratnena buried her head in her arms, unable to look, wishing she didn't have to listen … and cried for reasons at the time she didn't understand.
Inspector Smith walked out of the nighttime air and into the 'Bora Ship Repair' shop to talk to Ratnena about what she had seen and done. He wanted to get this done quickly, he wanted to go off duty and go get drunk. He has seen a lot in his years of security work but this … nothing like this. He was lucky, he had shown up after the worst was over and the clean up was starting, poor Ratnena had seen it as it happened. He found her at the workbench, with her parents and her droid near her and she was sitting there quietly. If you could paint a picture of despair, her face would show it to you perfectly. From the reports of wittiness's and security holograms, she had tried to save people's lives, it wasn't enough but she tried so hard. She was able to save 20 but the death toll … he didn't want to think about that right now.
"Inspector Smith," Ratnena's father said as he approached them. Ratnena looked up but didn't say anything.
"Mr. and Mrs. Bora," Smith said nodding to them and then addressed Ratnena directly. "I just want to say thank you for your help today." Ratnena didn't say anything just stared at him with haunted eyes. "I know you might not believe this but there are 20 people who are grateful for you being out there."
Still she didn't say anything but her father asked the question they all had to be asking right now.
"What was on that ship, Inspector, I mean to run on a burning ship like that is … is …", he stopped sounding every bit confused as they all were.
"We confiscated 50 metric tons of a drug called Bliss. It was more then enough to drug the whole planet actually, and somehow the word got out to the street that the freighter was sitting out there, how we don't know yet."
"Bliss?" Mrs. Bora said, "but I heard it was bad but still …"
"Bliss is very bad ma'am, as you can see someone will do anything to get their hands on it." Smith looked down at Ratnena, she was staring back at him with grief written over her face. "We don't need any more information from you Ratnena, why don't you go home and get some sleep."
"I think that is a good idea honey," Ratnena's mom said reaching out to touch her shoulder. Ratnena flinched away from her but did get up to leave the hanger. Her droid beeped at him and her parents and followed her to the door. Both of her parents and Smith watched quietly as she walked into the darkness.
Ratnena sat up in the darken room that she was staying in, she had been trying to sleep for hours now, unsuccessfully. Every time she closed her eyes she could hear the screams of pain and joy that came from those poor stupid souls, the smells hung around her even after the 5 showers she took since then, and the look in the eyes of that little boy as he fought her to run straight to his death. She couldn't erase her memories; she couldn't shut off her brain. All she kept thinking was how that little boy never had a chance, never knew what he was doing, that he was driven so badly to his death for reasons he couldn't control.
Ratnena sat up in bed thinking how mad she was, she had never been this mad since HE took away her youth, since HE violated her soul, since HE destroyed her life; like some stupid person destroyed that little boy. The big difference was after she was destroyed she was able to fight back and that nameless boy and all the others who die today could never fight back.
"Little Brother, call the base, have them prep my X-wing. We have some calls to make," she said getting out of bed. Little Brother was already extending his probe to make the call as she started to get dressed. They can't fight back but I can! I will find the people responsible for this and make them pay …with their skins and with interest!
