A/N:
It's Gundam Time! Another chapter full of angst, drama, suspense,
adjectives, nouns, and all that stuff! Oh and I cannot forget the
fluff. Well of course, there is fluff. What kind of a writer would I
be if I did not cave to a little fan service? FANSERVICE!
Chant
with me people! Fan service!
Ok,
you got it- enjoy!
--
'Just
exactly what kind of person was I?'
--
His
mind and heart were troubled. As lost and confused as he was only
hours ago, nothing could break him from the photos of death that
surrounded him.
Closing
his eyes, he tried to take a claming breath. However, instead of the
soothing void of nothingness, an explosion went off before his closed
eyes.
His
heart jumped as he opened his eyes and saw nothing out of the
ordinary around him. He was still in Relena's room, safely tucked
within the compound walls of her home. He shook his head to try to
clear his thoughts.
'What
was that?' He wondered. Closing his eyes once again, Heero waited
to see if the image came back to him.
'Nothing...'
He sighed. 'Just a figment of my imagination. I have been under a
great deal of stress lately.' Nodding he decided to go with that
thought.
Walking
away from the photos and back to the small coffee table, Heero waited
for the beautiful woman to return to him. Sitting down he got as
comfortable he could in the formal style chair. The stuffiness of the
office didn't seem as strong as it was now when she was there,
however now that he looked it over again, it became overwhelming. She
just didn't seem to fit the room. He had only known her for a short
time, yet he knew that a lighter, cozier atmosphere would suit her
better.
The
wait seemed to take hours; in reality he did not know how long she
was away because sleep quickly overcame him. He didn't realize his
eyes had slipped closed until he found himself in what he could only
describe as a nightmare...
He
was looking at a mirror image of himself. Same brown spiky hair, same
clear Prussian blue orbs. However the other him was dressed in some
sort of uniform, dark pants and a white shirt with a black tie around
the collar. They were in a small room, maybe a dorm room because it
only had a computer, desk and a bed. The other him didn't seem to
notice he was there, because he continued to type on the computer.
'Did
I go to school here?' He pondered before he heard the door open.
The figure at the door was dressed in what would be a normal school
uniform on anyone else, however to him she looked like an angel with
her hair framed by the light behind her. He could not hear the angel
talk to him; he knew she was no threat. At least he thought so.
However, his other self quickly drew a weapon out of nowhere.
Pointing it at the woman with glaring eyes, he thought the man was
going to shoot her. Running in between the gun and Relena, he waited
for the bullet to fire.
It
never came. Before he knew what was happening four words echoed
around him.
"I
will kill you."
He
was confused, why would he want to kill someone who clearly cared for
the Heero Yuy he supposedly was before? Why was he putting a gun to
her so calmly?
"I
will kill you."
The
background changed, yet the actors in the scenes did not vary. There
he was with a gun pointed at her head. Same set of blue eyes piercing
into the other across the barrel of the cold weapon.
"I
will kill you"
'What
is going on? Why doesn't she run? Get away!' He tried to shout at
her. Clearly, she did not find him threatening. How was that
possible? This clearly had to be a dream and he was still terrified
of this Heero Yuy.
"I
Will Kill You"
Again
with the threat. Again another scene. This time they were on a boat.
Her actions there shocked him speechless. Not only did she once again
not flinch at the gun pointed at her, but she even went so far as to
shield him from potential gunman's bullet.
'Why?' He called out to the figures. 'WHY?'
"I WILL KILL YOU!"
The voice echoed at a thunderous volume as explosions went off all around him. He could only try and avert his eyes from the blood stained visions. They all seemed to revolve around giant machines like in the pictures, and the soft haired woman who for some reason was always present. She saw the blood too, and yet was not disgusted or repulsed.
He could not say the same for himself. His body shook as he watched similar scenes. Trying to distance himself from the images he ran. He ran screaming away from the murder and war. His whole body ached as he shook with fear and confusion.
"Why am I seeing these things? Who am I? What kind of a monster am I?" He screamed as he ran.
"No, it's just a dream, only a dream... why can't I wake up... wake up! If I wake up everything will be fine, it's not real, any of this! NOTHING'S REAL!" He shrieked as his feet caught on something and he fell.
-
"Ryo! Ryo, calm down. Please calm down." Came the soft voice from above him.
Relena had returned to the room, fresh set of clothes for him in her hand, to find a panicking boy sleeping in the chair.
His eyes were closed but it was clear the boy was witnessing images of pure torture. His face contorted and his body shook. Dropping the objects in her hands, she ran over to the chair, hoping to calm him.
"Ryo, please wake up." She continued to tell him as she pulled him from the chair and held him where she knelt on the floor. Embracing him tightly and rocking him was all she could do to help him.
Suddenly his eyes jerked open and Ryo found himself in the warm arms of Relena. She was speaking in low tones, comforting him as only she could. He returned the embrace as he tried to calm down his rapid heartbeat.
His hot and heavy breath pushed across her neck as the brown haired man buried his face in her shoulder. She could feel his heart beat pounding in his chest and his body wrack with what sounded like sobs.
The trickle of tears came from his deep blue eyes to her shoulder.
'He's terrified... oh Heero, how can I help? I want to help you so much... if only you'll let me in.' She thought as she stroked his hair. How she had long to feel this close to Heero Yuy, however not in these circumstances.
"Ryo, I want to help you. Please let me in. You don't have to go through this alone." She told him finding courage as he shed tears.
She lost track of the minutes, as they stayed that way, in the peaceful embrace. Slowly his tears had stopped, and his breath evened out. Relena wasn't sure if he had fallen back into sleep; not wanting to wake him, she slowly tried to untangle herself from him.
"Don't leave me." Came a small voice as he tightened his grip on her body. Relena was the only light he could hold on to. She was like a life preserver in the sea of death and memories that plagued his mind when he closed his eyes. This girl alone could protect him from the foreign images
"I won't. I'll never leave you." She assured him. Moving her hands to his cheeks, Relena shifted so she could see into his eyes. "We'll get through this. What ever happened, it doesn't matter."
"I...I'm a monster..."
"What?" She asked still not fully understanding what had brought on this wave of traumatizing emotions. "What did you see in your dreams?"
"Death... everywhere... I... I can't take all the blood. It's everywhere." He told her searching her eyes for something, anything to make the pain go away.
Kneeling before him, she looked at him with compassion and love written on her face. Kissing his forehead, she cradled his head close to her.
"It's going to be fine. You were never a monster. I never once was afraid of you. I could see your good heart beneath all the walls of Heero Yuy. I knew deep down you were never anything close to a monster. And you will never be."
"But... how? How can you see past all the threats... those suits created for destruction... the lives ended by my hands..." He asked.
"Because I love you. No matter who you are; Heero or Ryo... you are you." She said after letting go of his head. "I love you." She whispered to him before she closed her eyes and brushed her lips against his.
It felt so right kissing her; it was a chaste kiss, a first kiss. It was a kiss that had so much feeling and meaning with in it. He didn't want to let her go, how could he let her go now?
The kiss continued to possess the pair, the outside world, especially the opening of the door and the entrance of a silent figure all was oblivious to them. It took an intentionally loud cough by the individual to get the couple to loosen their embrace.
Relena had to force her eyes off the brilliant blue that looked at her with so many emotions. Looking up, a red blush stained her cheeks as none other than her brother gave her a look of great discomfort.
"Noin asked me to tell you supper is done." The blonde man said controlling his urge to run and rip the man kneeling beside his sister to pieces.
"Daddy, what were they doing?" Came a little voice of his daughter who was covering her eyes behind his legs.
"Nothing, come along now. Let's go find mommy." He said quickly ushering his daughter away from the room, not before directing another look of warning at the boy.
"Relena..."
"No, don't say anything... just let me remember this moment." She said hugging him again. Taking in his warmth Relena was more determined to stay like this for as long as she could.
-
The night progressed slowly after the two made it down to the dinning room. The family had already began eating by the time the two arrived in the small private dinning area. Millardo and Relena both agreed that a sit down family meal was best done in a cozier room than the large state rooms for dignitaries.
Relena kept noticing the looks her brother was giving to Ryo as he picked at his food. Noin had to kick her husband from underneath the table to get his attention away from staring at their guest.
Ryo attempted to converse with the family that had adopted him for the time being. However it was hard to open up to people that were keeping something from you. He felt comfortable around the women of the group; the only one who still had issues with his presence was Relena's brother.
'I must have really given him reason to hate me...' Ryo thought as he stabbed the chicken on his plate with a fork. 'Why else would he feel so threatened?' And yet, maybe the man with the serious eyes would actually be the one to tell him what he wanted, what he needed to know.
'I'll attempt to talk to him later... after all he was there during the battle earlier... he had to know what's going on.'
"You're not eating anything. Are you not hungry?" Relena asked seeing his worried face. Ryo's thoughts were broken instantly with the sound of her voice.
"What?" He asked looking up at her with lost eyes. He had not really been paying much attention. "The food, no I'm not really in the mood to eat right now." He said apologetically. "I'm actually more tired than anything."
"Well, I can show you back to your room if you like." She suggested hoping to get away from her brother at the moment. He was really making her mad at the moment. She had thought that he would support her decision to protect the one she loved. However that seemed to fly straight out the window after he walked in on their kiss.
'His lips...' She sighed remembering the softness of them again. 'This has to work out, please... please let me be there for him like he was there for me... I want to be at his side always...'
