Time passed Alexander married Roxane. Bagoas thought she could be the one who would bring Hephaistion's downfall. He didn't have to fear his place in the king's bed, because a queen or not, he would always be Bagoas the eunuch, the pleasure slave. But if the king had indeed fallen in love with a woman, then Hephaistion's place in the king's heart was threatened.

Sadly though nothing had changed and Roxanne now despised the general just as much as Bagoas did and had to learn like he had, to deal with Hephaistion's place as the number one person in Alexander's heart. The only thing different now, was that he felt more threatened by Roxanne herself. It was as if they were both fighting for the second place in the king's heart.

Roxanne hated Hephaistion but had no choice but to tolerate him the best she could. Hephaistion was untouchable. But Bagoas wasn't. They could have been allies but they were enemies. Bagoas didn't like the queen and their silent fight to decide who would win the king's favors when Hephaistion wasn't present was constant.

Once he overheard Roxanne talking to her closest friend, saying that she couldn't understand Alexander and his sexual inclination toward men. She could understand what a eunuch could give; she knew they possessed certain skills, and did things that she always ignored but at least that he was a servant. When it came to Alexander's passion for Hephaistion she was just clueless.

She hated the way Hephaistion acted, giving her absolutely no consideration. Bagoas and Roxanne had that particular gripe in common. To be reduced to nothing and treated as being invisible when it came to Hephaistion. Bagoas by his status had no choice but to accept it, but Roxanne as the queen, was often very angry about it but Alexander didn't want to hear any complaints about Hephaistion.

Both Bagoas and Roxanne had no choice but to more or less accept where Alexander's heart belonged and if they forgot for one second, the ring on Alexander's finger was always a good reminder.

Bagoas wondered how Hephaistion did it. It seemed each time the general was about to lose, like a phoenix he was immediately reborn from his ashes, and even stronger than before in Alexander's heart but also in the political power game. Bagoas struggled with his dilemma. Is his king foolish enough to be so blinded by his love of Hephaistion?

Time had passed but Bagoas still found that he didn't trust Hephaistion, who was winning more power and he felt also it was only because of Alexander's love he won it. A point of view he shared with others until a conversation he had with Ptolemy.

Ptolemy very was close to Alexander and Bagoas had never really heard a disparaging word about Hephaistion come from the general's mouth.

Then one day Bagoas had the strange opportunity to discover much about why when Ptolemy defended him from some other Macedonian general, who was touching him and being rude.

"Don't listen to them, Bagoas." Said the general after sending the offensive man away.

"Thank you." Answered the eunuch. Bowing to Ptolemy before turning to walk away. He stopped when the general continued to speak to him.

" Sometimes they can be oafish, stupid men but they have their qualities as well, they are just jealous." Added the blond haired man and smiling at the eunuch.

"It happens to the ones who are closest to the king. They scuffle to get ever closer to him, even if only by hurting the ones he holds dear."

" Like Hephaistion?" asked Bagoas amazed at his forwardness.

Ptolemy nodded. "Yes, Bagoas, Hephaistion...they have no idea of who he is really... Not that I have a clear idea, myself, either, but at least I don't think, like them, think that he is a useless whore who's won his place because he shares Alexander's bed."

"What do you think of him sir?"

"Good question, Bagoas. I don't know, he is not one to let much about himself be known. I think only Alexander truly knows him. I do often wonder about him. I think he really loves Alexander and he is completely devoted to him, only Alexander matters for him. What Alexander wants he wants too. He, is sadly enough, a very isolated man who only needs Alexander's love to breathe and make him happy."

Bagoas listened to Ptolemy quite shocked that the general was still discussing Hephaistion.

" I remember, Bagoas, how Alexander changed when he met Hephaistion. Alexander had always been a passionate and an ambitious even when he was a boy. In his youth he was already very smart and quite a genius but he was lacking in ... in freedom and courage to explain what he truly wanted. He was torn between his father and his mother. The queen, Olympias, had an incredible hold of the boy, she loved her son but she was very possessive of him. Too much so. He was forced into doing what she wanted to please her or what his father wanted to please him."

Ptolemy sighed and continued "The truth was he only wanted to be loved instead of being the subject of their war. He found comfort when he read in the Illiad - the myths and the heroes were his friends. Phillip thought his son could have been a better singer or musician than a king and a warrior and belittled him endlessly. Then Hephaistion came along and Alexander changed almost immediately it seems. As if Hephaistion had released him and let the real Alexander appear. I saw the change and I wasn't the only one. Olympias did too, she couldn't control her son like she used to. Everybody saw Alexander changing as they witnessed Hephaistion's importance in the prince's evolution. The two were, still are...inseparable. The others envied Hephaistion's place in Alexander's life and most still do. What do you think of Hephaistion, Bagoas?"

Bagoas turned his face to look at Ptolemy. Had the general really asked for his opinion ? "It's hard to say."

Ptolemy continued. "There was a time that Hephaistion was very sick and Alexander assigned me to replace him for few days at his task. I didn't think it could be hard; it was just logistics. But the truth is I was impressed, every thing was well supervised. I was there three days and had almost nothing to do because Hephaistion had planned it all so well. I just did one inventory and it bored me to death. Counting and sorting. Packing and repacking. It is very important work though. If they were missing a piece or had broken one then another must be found. If the soldiers needed it and you can't do without it, you had to get it. So completely different from planning a battle or going into the heart of the battle. But Hephaistion does it and does it well. Sure enough some part came up short. To my amazement, sick as he was, Hephaistion showed up when he learned I had some troubles. Then to my further surprise he solves the problem in just few moments, and this man, I thought, is also a warrior, maybe not the not the best warrior but he is one just as all of us are. He is many things Bagoas."

Bagoas was glad to have Ptolemy talk to with him about Hephaistion. He was one of the few generals who liked to talk and it seemed to the eunuch that Ptolemy did a lot of thinking about everything, analyzing it. This new information was very interesting.

"Well, he surprised me. I just had no idea of how hard of a worker he was. Even sick he helped me to do his work," Ptolemy laughed a bit, " and I was the one who was supposed to help him. But even with this, we never bonded. He stays so distant - polite but distant. Then there are still times when he suddenly becomes angry at one of us and we can't even recognize the calm and distant man who's suddenly turned into a furious bull in a blink of eye. He would kill us without thinking twice about it if we hurt his king. Hephaistion Amyntor.. everybody has an opinion about him, nobody has the truth. This is why he is so hated, Bagoas, they just hate what they don't know and can't understand. I think we are all obsessed by the man because we can't have the answer. He refuses to give it to us. Or maybe he has and we just refuse to accept it."

Bagoas understood Ptolemy's feeling. Yes it was indeed very easy to hate Hephaistion, and to envy him out of fear.

"Well Bagoas, I have to let you know, I am still trying to find a good tactic about these new enemies who are living in the trees.» Bagoas noted the change of subject. «We still have had no success to catch or kill one. We have no idea what they are capable of ."

Bagoas nodded, as suddenly he and Ptolemy spotted Hephaistion, who was coming back from a scouting trip in the jungle. He led along, on a length of leather strap, a strange animal they never seen before. The two men went closer. Alexander who was also nearby by watched in awe as his lover was petting the small beast and explaining that the new enemy wasn't an enemy at all but as he'd surmised earlier they were simply animals. He coaxed them all to come closer and see the new creature. He explained that they'd used some fruit and a fishing net to snare it and on the journey back to the main camp he'd earned its trust and had gotten it to eat from his hand.

Bagoas and Ptolemy looked at each other in wonder.

"Just like I said Bagoas... how does he do it?"

It seemed it was an unanswerable question, thought Bagoas. He stood with Ptolemy and watched as Alexander squatted down and touched the animal's fur. Hephaistion gave the king one of his rare smiles and was repaid by one from Alexander. Bagoas saw the warmth in his king's face as he smiled at Hephaistion, and he noted how the general basked in it.

" By the gods Hephaistion !

you beat me again at this new game!" Alexander said with a little pout. « By the way what have you been doing, practicing with that animal of yours? You have kept yourself cooped up in here for three days now since your return..»

" Don't pout Alexander, if I am lucky in this game, I must be unlucky at something else." Hephaistion said in a soft tone. "I've been cooped up and resting myself for you."

Alexander, who was a worrier by nature, wondered what his lover meant by his last sentence and if he was hiding something from him.

" Is something wrong Hephaistion? Why did you say that?"

" Say what?" asked Hephaistion who was putting away the game.

" About being 'unlucky somewhere else'" He asked with concern.

Hephaistion looked at him and smiled.

" You worry too much, I'm fine." He insisted.

" Are you still hurt because of my wedding with Roxanne?"

" Of course not." He said surprised. " It's all over now, I know that I am still the only one in your heart, we have already discussed and discussed it. I am perfectly fine with this. I've just been frightened over you marrying for a lifetime, unsure of what part I'd still have in your life as well but now I know and I fine. I know," He paused and wrapped Alexander in his arms before continuing «That you are still crazy about me."

Alexander smiled, reveling in the strong embrace. An embrace he thought sadly that he did not get to feel nearly enough.

"And always will be." The king added as he kissed the red ring on his finger. Hephaistion frowned.

" Why are you kissing your ring when I'm so near you with my lips totally available?"

Alexander laughed. "Because I love this ring, it reminds me constantly of how much you love me"

" It's sweet of you to love it so much but 'my' lips are still waiting eagerly."

Alexander couldn't resist an order from his best friend's lips and kissed them. As he broke the kiss, he was still upset, with the part about the unluckiness of Hephaistion's previous statement.

" Are you happy?" He asked with concern.

" Alexander!" said Hephaistion, a little bit annoyed this time.

" Tell me! I know you have some hard times and too often it seems. I am not blind Hephaistion. You haven't any friends and I'm sure it's because of me." He said sadly. Wary of the furrow now creasing Hephaistion's brow.

" What about the possibility of it being my choice Alexander? That it has nothing to do with you at all. I grew weary of fighting with men to accept me and what I am to you long ago. I choose my solitude. I create it for myself." Alexander picked up his cup of wine and listened as Hephaistion continued. "I m happy Alexander, I have the life I've always wanted, even better than in my childhood dreams. Please do not concern yourself."

Alexander glanced at his lover with questions in his eyes. Hephaistion sat down and stretched out his legs; he knew by the look on Alexander's face that the man was not through yet. He knew he had to continue to reassure his friend of his happiness so he continued.

"Did I ever tell you, Alexander, why my father insisted with yours that he allow me in Aristotle's class?"

" No, I don't think so."

" Well I'm going to tell you."

A 10 year old Hephaistion stood in front of his mother trying to be still as she fussed a bit with his cloak and brushed his hair out of his eyes before telling him when to return home.

" Don't go too far, and I want you to be back before the diner bell!" said the concerned woman.

" I know. I know, mother, can I please go and play now?" The antsy boy pleaded.

" Just a minute, Hephaistion! Remember don't go in the forest! Last time, your uncle saw you near. Do you remember how your father and I were mad at you? If you go there, I promise that this time the punishment will be harder."

" I know, I promise I won't go." Lied Hephaistion who had already planned a trip to the forest.

" Good!" She squeezed his shoulder and smiled down at him.

Hephaistion turned his back to his mother and was ready to go when the woman made a last request.

"Don't bring back animals, Hephaistionyour grandmother almost had a heart attack at the sight of that ugly lizard you brought home last week." She sighed, kissed her son's forehead and let him go.

" Why can't I have a boy a bit less adventurous." She thought.

Hephaistion went straight to a cave were he had hidden a bag with some weapons just in case he would need them and other things like food, and little blanket too." He had planned his trip a days ago.

He arrived in the forest and didn't hesitate to cross the forbidden line his mother told him not to. His heart was beating with excitement. Alone in a totally unknown place could be dangerous but also very interesting because of all the new things he would see as he walked as far as he could. He followed a squirrel that he so badly wanted to catch and focused on his hunt he'd let time slip away. Now it was already far past the time when he should have returned.

Disappointed because he had lost the cute animal, he realized that not only was he late but also that he was lost. He began to panic but not because he was lost he panicked more so because he could already picture his parents' anger. He sighed, what was done was done. Night would fall soon so found a spot to spend it and built a fire. He ate what he had brought with him and wrapped his cloak and blanket tighter around himself.

Weird noises kept him from sleeping. The next day, he tried to find another place that seemed more secure. He found and killed a hare for his lunch when he was searching for some water. The second night came and this time he was really tired and sleepy. He began to tell himself he had to find his way back home the next day he had no idea how to survive for long alone in the forest and if some wolves showed up, he would never have the chance to do all the things he wanted to do in his life. He was starting to realize he was in a very bad situation and it worried him. The little trip had lost its fun.

He was finally falling asleep when something hit him hard and woke him up again. Scared he looked around and saw his father standing over him with some of his friends. They had found him but seeing his father's angry face he would have preferred to face the wolves.

" Father." He said weakly and near tears his fear suddenly breaking free of his chest.

His father's expression suddenly softened and he took him his arms. Then the large man broke the embrace and punched his son so hard Hephaistion fell to the ground.

"This time Hephaistion, you've gone too far!" his father yelled.

A few days later, Hephaistion was allowed to leave his room where he had been locked away. His parents told him he was going to be sent to Mieza to be educated and civilized since they were apparently failing in that matter.

Hephaistion was very upset, he didn't want to go there. It would mean the end of his freedom. The thought of being kept in a school with the prince who had the reputation to be a "mother's' s boy" and who liked reading and playing music all day didn't thrill him at all. The prospect of becoming a warrior to bring more gold to the kingdom and spending his time being bored to death in a palace talking to superficial people wasn't what he wanted either. What he wanted, was simple, he wanted to discover the world that was beyond Macedon.

The little boy made up his mind, as soon as he arrived at Mieza, he would runaway and this time he would do it correctly and he wouldn't need to go back and certainly he would not be found again.

Alexander had listened to Hephaistion's childhood tale.

" You were planning to runaway.. ?" Alexander had never known about this.

" Yes, but the prince I met there was different from what I expected." Added Hephasition with a grin.

"You were a hard conquest tough." Alexander reminded him.

"Certainly, until I found out that you and I shared more than I would ever have thought."

Alexander nodded and said. "We didn't only fall in love, we also found someone who understood and shared the same dream."

" Right! So why you are asking me if I m happy? Of course I am happy, how could it have been better? I don't think it could."

" Good." Alexander replied. Hephaistion hoped he had convinced him.

" But you, Alexander, are always unhappy. You are the type who always doubts themselves, never being satisfied with what you've done."

Alexander said nothing. So Hephaistion continued. " Sometimes it's frustrating, I want you to be happy too. Never doubt that you make me happy. You alone. I have no need to surround myself with others."

" And I am. You're right, I always think I can do better, that I can go farther and my pride and anger can blind me so much. But there's one thing I am not blind to, and it is about us. When it comes to us, this, being together Hephaistion that is where I find bliss."

They were looking at each other with trust and love when they heard a loud noise and saw the monkey Hephaistion had caught jump into Hephaistion's arms and kiss him.

" Oh! Look Alexander he missed me." Said Hephaistion. «You never greet me like that!»

Alexander crossed his arms. Laughing at the odd display.

" It seems I have a serious rival here!" Added Alexander and then they laughed together.

TBC