Author's Note: Hi there! Lil here! I don't have return to classes until Monday, so I decided to write some more while I still have the time! I'm glad everyone liked the story, it is one of my best pieces in my opinion. I would like to thank all of the little people who voted for me and... oh wait, wrong speech! I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, you're all so nice! You get a cookie! Thank you to wolfwoman357 (there's a movie? As always, thanks! Glad you like it! Oh, and Snape is beyond freaked out, he probably thinks he's in the Twilight Zone orsomething, lol!),s.halliwell24 (thanks so much, I'm glade you like it! They made me laugh too! you should've seen how hard I was cracking up while writing this story the first time!), mordrei (thanks for the review and advice but... Hermione and Snape??? WAY OFF!!! Sorry, that's a bit too weird for me! In none of my storieswill I have an adult with a child, that is just wrong! And ewwww! But thank you for the 'advice', and don't worry, Snape and Lupin get into much more trouble!), HP-Scriptor (wow! Me, talented? Thanks a lot! I will definitely consider your offer, and I am very flattered! I will visit your link sometime soon!). You guys are really great! You all get a cookie! I hope you like this chapter. And as always, please review!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I swear I don't know who took them! They're not here, feel free to investigate further! No, officer, don't look in that closet!---Oh, how'd they get in there? I've never seen those men before in my life! Don't listen to a word they say, especially the tall one! I did nothing, nothing I tell you! Let me go! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Love Potion Number 9
Chapter 3
The merry duo were still flying down steps when suddenly Snape brought Lupin to a halt. "Remus," he said, "my Snapey-sense is tingling! There is a foul plot afoot!"
"It's not my feet, I just washed them!", opposed the other man, receiving a strange look.
"No, you idiot!", replied Snape, "Something it terribly wrong, I believe someone is out to do me harm!" They looked around, but saw no one. How strange, there should have at least been a few students loafing around the corridors in the middle of the day.
It was quiet… too quiet. Just then Lupin, using his super-werewolf-hearing-abilities, heard something rather odd. To him it sounded kind of like when you were standing outside a stadium where a Def Leppard concert was going on. In other words, it sounded like a far away bunch of hysterical, insane women! "Severus," he said, "I think that your 'fan club' has grown quite a bit!"
"Why would you say that?", asked Snape, "I don't see anyone else running mad through the castle." Just then, though, he heard the noise as well. And it was getting louder!
"They're in the dungeons!", cried Lupin, "They're waiting down there for you! It sounds like at least fifty of them, probably more!"
"Oh, my poor dungeons!", moaned Snape, "They'll destroy my lab!"
"Better your lab than us!", pointed out his friend, "Let's get out of here! We should go see Dumbledore, he'll know what's going on!"
So to the Headmaster's office they fled, luckily only running into a couple of students (thankfully both male). As Lupin gave the password, 'Laughing Lollipops', they heard footsteps behind them! They ducked into the stairwell behind the gargoyle just in time to avoid being seen by a frightening Professor Trelawney, who had been chasing them but was apparently very slow.
As soon as they knocked on his door, Dumbledore ushered them in. He looked at them and inquired as to the occasion of their visit. Snape explained everything that had happened that day, with Lupin helpfully adding things in.
When they were finished telling this incredibly odd and highly ridiculous story, Dumbledore just looked at them, not saying a word. It was very strange and soon the silence became unbearable. Snape, exasperated, finally looked at him and said, "You do believe us, don't you?" The quiet that followed made them uneasy, and they began to think that the old man really did think they had gone off their rockers!
Finally, after what seemed like ages, he spoke! "That is a very strange tale, indeed.", he said, "Are you to tell me that not only students, but Professors are behaving as if they are completely infatuated with you?" Snape nodded. The Headmaster continued, seemingly to himself, "Oh, my, this is quite a predicament. What shall we do? What is the cause of this? Could it be old Moldywart? No, he's not that desperate. Maybe it's Potter playing a prank? No, that boy's as dumb as a post. Hmmm, yes this is quite a predicament, indeed."
"Umm, Headmaster?", the Potions Professor interrupted his boss's ramblings, "What do you think I should do?"
The elderly man just sat there, thinking. He then said, "When trying to solve something, I find that retracing my steps is the best thing to do. Yes, that's it. Start at the beginning and then see where things began to get freaky."
The two teachers stared at Dumbledore. First the vociferous prattlings on, and now 'Freaky'? Maybe he was getting senile or something. Oh well, Snape had decided to heed his advice, and Lupin had offered to help.
There was just one problem… To start at the beginning meant going into Snape's quarters, which are in the dungeon… along with a horrifying horde of love-struck females! They had to find out what went wrong, but they had to wait until an opportunity came along that meant they wouldn't be torn to pieces. Pondering what to do, they left Dumbledore's office.
Out in the hall, however, they found that they should've stayed inside the office, as Pavarti and Padma Patil were in the hall and promptly shouted in unison, "We found Professor Snape, he's up here!" They then ran down a flight of stairs, presumably to tell the other 'fan club members', as Lupin would call them.
Snape had the bright idea to run outside, they probably wouldn't look outside of the castle, how brilliant! And if they did come out and search the grounds, our favorite fleeing fellows could always hide in Hagrid's hut, or, as a last resort, the Forbidden Forest. Snape thought thateven that sounded better than being caught by the love-struck loons!
The pair dashed out the front doors before they could be spotted, thank goodness! However, in their haste to get away they did not see a figure coming across the lawn until it was too late… POW!
Poor Professor Sprout was bowled completely over by her cowardly colleagues, and they all landed in a heap on the ground. Lupin and Snape helped the round lady up, but prepared to run again as she turned to talk to them.
"Oh, there you are, Severus!", she said, "I was just comin' to look for you!"
Snape looked panicked, he had had enough of people looking for him today! But not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Oh, really? What is the search pertaining to?" He dreaded the answer.
"I was bringing you these Violets like you asked for.", she told him, picking up a heretofore unnoticed pot on the ground. There were four pots that she had dropped when they collided, each containing a large, purple flower with fangs. They apparently did not find being dropped onto the ground very enjoyable, seeing as how they were hissing and growling.
"Oh, yes, I remember!", Snape declared, "I needed the Venomous Vipertoothed Violets for that Prenoticulous Potion I'm supposed to brew for Pomfrey this evening." He sighed with relief. "That's all you wanted?"
"Well of course! Why did you think I was lookin' for you, to propose?", she asked, laughing.
"You wouldn't be the first today.", remarked Lupin. At her inquiring stare he just shook his head and said, "Never mind, you don't want to know."
"I'm sorry, Pomina, but we really must be going.", Snape told Sprout, reaching down to pick up a pot. He did not notice her looking at his rear as he bent over. When he had gathered the growling flowers from the ground he turned to thank her, only to receive yet another horribly mushy and sparkly-eyed stare. "Oh, no!", he cried!
Sprout was looking at him with adoration and love written all over her face, she did not even notice as the Vipertoothed Violet she was holding latched itself onto her finger. In fact, the wound had started bleeding quite profusely and, being a Venomous Vipertoothed Violet, her entire hand was turning a lovely shade of lime green. Still she stared at Snape. "You know," she commented, "proposing doesn't seem like such a bad idea." She then ran and jumped at Snape, locking him into a tight hug that was more like a vice grip.
He could not breathe! Poor Snape smacked her on the arm and she still failed to notice that he was turning blue, much as Lupin had done before, but for a very different reason. The tortured teacher was in danger of dying due to lack of oxygen when Lupin spoke up, "Let him get some air, woman! He's gonna keel over and die!"
This made Sprout look down and see that the object of her affection had stopped breathing. "Oh, my!", she cried, dropping him to the ground, "This man needs emergency mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!"
At this horrid thought he opened his eyes and sprang to his feet crying, "NOOOO!"
"Yay, you're alive! I didn't break you!", Sprout said happily. She then observed that the fanged flower she was holding was clamped on to her finger, which looked quite gruesome. "Oh, I'd better go have Poppy take a look at this!", she said, "I'll drop this little plant off in your office when I'm done. Don't you go away, now!" With that she left, skipping merrily across the lawn and into the castle.
"Whew, I'm glad that's over!", Snape said.
"Me, too.", agreed Lupin.
They had spoken too soon, for just then a shadow fell over them. The pair of professors looked up to see something up in the sky circling them like a hawk. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? No, it was Madam Hooch! She came to a stop not far from them and landed. Then she came hurtling across the lawn, still carrying her broom, and cried, "Oh, Severus! Yoo-hoo! Over here!" They turned to look for an escape, but there was no way they could get away when they were on foot, and if they went back into the castle they'd be mauled for sure! What were they going to do?
