Inter-LOAFERS!
By Xenomorph666
Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.
DigitalMan and K2 are © My close friend.
Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.
Universe: Misfit-Verse
Psychology for Scions 101
It was the next day and currently the visiting Scions were not in a pleasant place. Of course any place designed to study the mind would unnerve the Scions, especially the interLOAFERs. Strangely though Psyche Out's office seemed to only effect Perfection.
"The walls are closing in…" Perfection said as he rocked back and forth in his chair. Then right next to Astral's ear "Clooosinnnnng innnnnnn."
"Astral's eye gave a nervous tick before he yelled at Perfection, "Grow UP!" Astral shouted as he through the Scion of Chaos back into his chair. "Why the hell did I agree to this?" Astral asked aloud, but of no one.
"Possibly to mess with the mortal's mind." DM suggested as he, Wraith and Perfection all grew a quick set of horns that vanished as the door opened and Psyche Out came walking in.
"Well at least there's one voice of reason." Astral sighed as Psyche sat down and pulled out five teddy bears each with a different name on it. "My head hurts…"
"Astral please sit down and there is no smoking allowed in here." Psyche out said politely.
Astral begrudgingly put his cigarette and sat down in one of the bean bags scattered around the office. "I am so going to hate this."
"Now, now…" Wraith chided with a smile, "That's what's called a self-fulfilling prophecy."
"Yes it is Wraith." Psyche smiled, "But right now you cane see these bears, can anyone guess what they're for?"
"Some shrink tactic." Astral grumbled as he glared at Wraith.
"For us to hold?" Karma asked as she took the one with Wraith's name on it.
"I want a panda." DM said as he changed his into a panda.
"Oh, make mine a monkey." Perfection said as he changed his.
"Make mine a Cthulu Elder God." Wraith said with a smile as his bear changed into a hideous tentacle beast, which Karma just hugged tightly. " I just can't win." Wraith shrugged.
"Uh, ok." Psyche Out said, "Karma please put the hideous stuffed monster back please." She did so with a sweet smile. "Ok, today we are going to role-play how you see each other, so everyone take a stuffed animal the isn't yours." Astral immediately grabbed Wraith's, much to Karma's dismay.
When all the Scions each had a stuffed animal Psyche Out began to explain the exercise. "Ok, now I want you to tell your stuffed animals all the reasons you're angry at them."
"One sec." Astral said as he switched his stuffed animal of Wraith's for Perfection's monkey, which was being held by Karma. Karma squeed with joy when she got Wraith's stuffed monster.
"Astral…" Psyche Out began.
"Let me have it mortal or GOD will cringe at what I will do to you." Astral said with a manic glare in his eyes.
"He has issues." DM said with a smile.
"Yeah, he's got a stick up his ass." Perfection giggled.
"That's it!" Astral tore at his hair before lunging at Perfection, but DM managed to push him back in his chair and wrap the angry half-angel in a straight jacket. "Let me kill him!" Astral said with a crazed look in his eyes.
"Wow, he finally snapped." Wraith said as he pulled out a small black flip book. "Damn, looks like Cardinal wins again."
"You were betting on when Astral was going to mentally snap?" Psyche Out asked.
"Yup, favorite past time of the Scions. Once he snaps the pool starts over again." Wraith said. "What do you think?" He asked the other Scions in the room.
"Two years." Karma said with a smile as she tried to put a muzzle over Astral's face.
"Heck I'm going for two days." Perfection chuckled.
"Oh, going for the record." Wraith said as he marked several things in the book. "I say a month, he didn't snap all the way this time. DM?"
"I give him a good month, yeah I'm with you on that." DM said as he pushed Astral into a closet. "How about you Psych-Out?"
"Well given the tension of his position, having to deal with Perfection's antics and the semi-explosion of anger, I'd say another week an he should be visiting back here." The Scions all seemed a little shocked.
"You heard him Wraith, he wants in." DM said as he slapped the ghost on the back.
"We should check the entire base to see if anyone else wants in." Perfection suggested.
"Hm, good idea." Wraith said with a light cackle. "Say this was refreshing wasn't it?" Wraith said with a smile in his voice.
"Sure was. I should go to the Shrink more often!" Perfection said. "Thanks Psyche Out." Perfection smiled as he and the Scions piled out.
"But your hour's not up yet! You haven't even been here fifteen minutes!" Psyche out yelled as the Scions came pilling back in.
"Can't get anything by you, can we." Wraith grumbled.
"Oh well, best to try and enjoy it." Karma said as she snuck into the seat by Wraith who just gave her a sideways glance.
"Ok, first up we're going to talk to the guy who undoubtedly needs the most help here." Wraith, Karma and DM all let their eyes fall on Perfection.
"Oh yeah, look at the guy who's been declared mentally insane in almost every dimension he's been to." Perfection said indignantly.
"Almost Every dimension?" Psyche Out asked.
"There was one world where the people made P look sane. Of course boy genius couldn't tell the difference." Wraith said as he rolled his eyes.
"Hey they were fun." Perfection said.
"They tried to eat me." DM reminded him. "I'm just glad they're extinct now."
"Endangered." Wraith reminded him. "Remember Chybee's one of their babies…"
"Oh yeah, I forgot about Chybee!" Perfection said as a poof of smoke appeared in the middle of the room. When it cleared the small imp known as Chybee was chewing on the leg bone of what looked like a tyrannosaurus.
"Nobody move." Wraith breathed almost silently.
"CHYBEE!" Perfection said as he hugged the tiny imp, which quickly planted its mouth around his skull, "Ah, he missed me." Perfection cooed.
"Riiight…" DM eyed the imp warily. "Karma, can you hold the little devil while Perfection talks?"
"Sure." Karma said as she held the small imp and began to speak to it in baby talk.
"Ok…" Psyche Out said as he watched the sight before him before he cleared his throat and went on. "Perfection, how does it make you feel when you see something like this?" Psyche Out held out a picture of a destroyed battlefield.
Immediately Perfection changed the room into a World War II bunker. He was hiding in the corner cowering like a little child.
"The krauts are gonna get me, the krauts are gonna get me." He repeated over and over again.
"Ok, Perfection I think you should take this just little more seriously…" Psyche Out tried to calm the Scion down as he noticed Astral with a gun in a German uniform. "Somehow I'm not surprised."
When Astral fired the shot however a flower came out of the barrel and Perfection was in his face blowing a raspberry.
"Make love not war." Perfection said in a cheesy hippie voice.
"I hear that!" DM shouted. Suddenly the room was back to normal and Astral was back in his bean bag, but still in his straight jacket.
"Right, now moving along to you Astral. Why is it you have such harsh behavior towards Perfection?" Psyche out asked.
"Let me out and I'll show you." Astral glared at Perfection.
"Um, right." Psyche Out turned to DM who presented him with a certificate. "Certified patient stricken with Destructomania?" Psyche Out said with a look of confusion as he turned to Wraith.
"Ex-Murderous Spirit." Wraith said simply as Psyche Out again turned, this time to Karma.
"Alien being." She said as she tickled Chybee's chin.
"So basically you all know you're a bunch of crazies?" Psyche Out asked.
"Yup." Perfection said as he sat Chybee in Astral's lap. "Now if you'll excuse us…" Perfection pointed to the door.
"Go on." Psyche Out sighed as he followed the other Scions out. He had completely forgotten about Astral who was currently struggling to keep Chybee from making eye contact.
"HELP MEEEEEEEE!" Was the last thing heard from the office before Psyche Out came rushing back in to find Chybee chewing on Astral's head. "I hate demons…"
