thecultofthepurplemonkeybyjetnoir
LAST WORMHOLE TO OBSCURITY…The world spun. Neil fell down a rabbit-hole. A multicoloured rainbow of obscurity. It shaked, rattled and rolled. His mind desperately tried to cling on to some form of sanity. His mind was being overloaded. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a little voice told him 'This is all a dream'. Neil fervently hoped it was true. Suddenly he realised 'This is my life'. And indeed it was. All of his life was flashing before his eyes. It was really boring. 'Is this it?' wondered Neil. 'Am I going to die? And why at the hands of a purple monkey?' he thought with sudden anger. 'Have I not been through enough, already?' Eventually he hit the ground and passed out, never expecting to wake up again.
-
When Neil came too, he heard voices. They seemed to be discussing him.
"Well, if he is dead," said one voice in a thin, reedy sort of way, "He's going to get a hell of a shock when he tries to wake up."
Neil once again made a sound like two sparrows gargling.
"Hey sir," said the voice again, "Did you just here two sparrows gargling or did I just imagine it?"
"Its this human," said a voice which Neil recognised as the purple monkey, "He often makes funny noises, seems to be quite a habit of his."
"Well," said the first voice again, "Its kind of rude isn't it, not to thank us for saving his life."
"Well," said the purple monkey, "If he's dead, he's going to have a slight problem thanking us isn't he".
"I thought," mused the first voice, "We had already decided that he wasn't dead."
"Oh," said the purple monkey, "You're right."
Neil looked upwards. He could see two purple monkeys and a man with six heads discussing him. He blinked. He could see one purple monkeys and a man with three heads discussing him. He blinked again. He could still see one purple monkeys and a man with three heads discussing him.
"What is going on?" asked Neil.
"No idea," chuckled the purple monkey, "I'm just here for the pickled onions."
Neil gaped at the purple monkey and keeled over.
-
"I hope this isn't going to become a habit of yours," said a voice that sounded suspiciously like the purple monkey. Neil opened one eye. The purple monkey's face was an inch away from his face. Neil groaned.
"I wish you would stop making rude noises," grumbled an irritated purple monkey, "Its very rude." Neil slowly got to his feet and asked bluntly;
"Who are you, and what am I doing here?" The purple monkey winked at Neil. It was simultaneously cheerful and terrifying. I mean how many purple monkeys wink at you?
"Come with me," the purple monkey grinned, "And I'll show you how far the rabbit hole goes…"
Note: Couple of quotes, mostly from The Matrix! I have no idea how you are going to react, and trust me, it gets much, much, weirder! This started off as a short story which took 7-8 months to complete, and now I'm transplanting it to TSW universe!
Disclaimer: Neil is copyright to Square Pictures; and the story (plus other characters) to me. This story has been written on the understanding that you may read it and print it out; but you may not pass it off as your own, hire it out, or sell it for money. You also may not put it on your own or any other web page without my express written permission. Thankyou!
JetNoir