thecultofthepurplemonkeybyjetnoir

TOYTOWN vs WONDERLAND (on speed)

It was hell. That was the only rational explanation for it. Neil was being dragged along by a purple monkey, along streets that curved sideways, so you were walking on a wall, then was offered an apple by something suspiciously looking like a witch.

Neil politely declined. "Good job too," the purple monkey, agreed.

"Why," asked Neil, "was it poisoned?"

"No," replied the purple monkey, "It makes your nose-hair grow ten feet longer." Neil decided not to argue. Next they passed a fire-eater. But he was sticking the burning torches into his ear. Neil looked away, sickened. A man caught up with them.

"I need to talk to this guy sir," the man said, "Its very important."

"Later, lackey person," the purple monkey smirked, "later." The man moved away.

"HELLO SIR," screamed a voice, obviously talking to the purple monkey.

"GO AWAY," the monkey replied, and then muttered, "Damn, I've been spotted."

"HOW ARE YOU TODAY SIR?" another thing said.

"YOU'RE FIRED!" retorted the purple monkey. Reaching into a pocket, the monkey pulled out a red banana. Screaming into it he bellowed,

"EMERGENCY, CODE 5150." Neil could hear 'hut-hut-hut' sounds from the crowd. Neil guessed it was a bodyguard team. He was wrong. 10 clowns ran from the ceiling, picked the purple monkey up and ran off into the distance. As they were fading along the horizon, Neil could here the purple monkey screeching like someone had stood on his toe:

"NO, NO! GET THE FLAMING HUMAN!"

Neil was instantly relieved and concerned. The purple monkey had gone, but how was he going to get home?

"Excuse me," he asked a passer buy, "How do I get out of here?"

"Well," said the passer by, "You don't. You're going to have to stay here forever." And with a sinister grin on his face, he grabbed Neil and disappeared...

Note: I really don't know what to say with this one. Except perhaps, sorry. Next episode coming soon…hopefully.

Disclaimer: Neil is copyright to Square Pictures; and the story (plus other characters) to me. This story has been written on the understanding that you may read it and print it out; but you may not pass it off as your own, hire it out, or sell it for money. You also may not put it on your own or any other web page without my express written permission. Thankyou!

JetNoir