I tried to take it easy that next week. I laid back, rested up, and just chilled, for the most part. The most interesting things that occurred happened after a not-so-well deserved trip to the mall. As I was leaving, I happened to find Jamie sitting there..
Jamie"Um...Tom? I was wondering...my car won't start...would you give me a ride home" Suddenly, a number of choices flashed in front of me... ( RR Notes: And here we have another example of the style, the "choices" that Goddard is forced to use. This is another example of how wOw becomes wOw Memorial...
YES -
NO
I
hate you. I hate you so much. My Dad hates you too. You're a sorry
bitch. My dad buys me all the stickers I want, so I don't even need
more stickers. You are greedy and an asshole." I
made my choice, and instantly found myself saying...
"Sure,
I'll be happy to..." I let her get in the car as we headed
off.
"So, where do you live, anyway"
Jamie"Over in the burbs- I'll give you the directions. For now, since we're going this way anyways, how about I treat you to dinner- you know, since you gave me the ride" Suddenly, another choice label occurred...
YES
-
NO
Oh, I'll eat
something of yours, all right...
"Okay- free food's the best kind"
Jamie"Excellent- I know a nice place..." Jamie gave me the directions towards the restaurant she chose. I was excited at the prospect of the free food...well, until we got there...
Counter person"Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order" Yeesh- is she TRYING to sabotage my chances? It's not like I have a superstar look... these were just normal, at least until I saw one of the members of our roster in the back run out towards me... (Re-Release Notes: I seem to make many cracks at McDonalds through the whole of this series. The reason for this is simple: They deserve it. Although they're a fun place to poop at credit a bunch of trolls, the food tends to be concentrated evil. Remember kids: Meat is murder, fast food moreso. I'll get off my 'political' Reflecto notes...for now, at least...)
Worker"STOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDD!" I recognized the voice- Manny, one of the other wrestlers. He was somewhat nice, if not for the fact that he was touched in the head- he'd have to be, to agree with the Magical Girl gimmick they stuck him with in wOw. Apparently he was moonlighting here- no biggie, but why a place would hire someone who may be insane is my question...
"I see...hey, Pretty Manny..."
Manny"That other guy the Rock Sucks!"
Jamie"Okay..."
Manny"Hello, McDonald's patrons! This is wOw Superstars and my bestest buddies, Tom Goddard and Jamie Kogyaru" Manny then proceeded to get up on the table and dance as Jamie looked shocked.
"Um...aren't you supposed to be working"
Manny"Who cares about work, man! Look, I've got some good stuff right here..." Manny then proceeded to bring out a bag of a white powder...
"Dood- is that..."
Manny"You know it, home boy! The best Colombia has to offer! Wanna freebase"
"Um, no- Winners don't use drugs! Early '90s video games said so, and they never lie"
Manny"Suit yourself...pussy" Manny then proceeded to cut a line of cocaine out on the table and snort it up. "WHOA"
"Um, dude- I think you have to go into rehab..."
Manny"Why should I do that"
"Um, let's see...I don't know- you're doing cocaine...in a McDonald's...in front of the brother of someone who has the power to fire you"
Manny"McDONALDS IS A FUN PLACE TO POOP AT!"
"Trust me, man...if you go to rehab, I can promise you that you will not lose your job at wOw. If you don't, I'm going to have to snitch on you, and you'll probably end up released. Your choice"
Manny"Okay, I'll go to stupid rehab..." Manny left as the others in line started to cheer. The manager came over to us...
Manager"You did the right thing, getting that guy to rehab- he came in here all the time with his brain fried."
Jamie"Thanks...I suppose saving one of your workers can get us free food, right"
Manager"Hell no"
"Crap in a hat"We paid for our food and headed back to my car. While on the way back, we began to talk about what had transpired...
Jamie"You did the right thing..." (LOVE-LOVE INCREASED) (Re-Release Notes: The phrase of "Love-Love Increase" was explained in our last post. Basically, it means that the girl in question now likes our protagonist more, only with a cuter, girlier name...
"Ah, well, he's a nice guy, it's just the gimmick."
Jamie"You mean, he got addicted because he lives his gimmick"
"No, I mean that if the bookers forced me to have the gimmick of a guy who thinks he's an anime magical girl, I would have to use a shitload of blow too"
Jamie"I see..."We drove a little more, finally getting back to Jamie's house.
Jamie"Well, thanks for the ride..."
"You're
Welcome."
I'll see you at work..."
-
"You know, my homies call me Harry
Potsmoker because I got the Magic Stick- you want a demo"
(Re-Release Notes: This is the first time the name 'Harry
Potsmoker' came up to describe Tom Goddard. The reason for this is
simple: In the original wOw base fed, Tom Goddard was Harry
Potsmoker, a Harry Potter gimmick natch. Somehow, this managed to
become the most popular gimmick in the wOwfed, leading to Goddard
being chosen for the protagonist role in wOw Memorial. )
"I'll see you at work Friday..."
Jamie"Yep. Cheer for me, I debut" I tried to keep that in mind as I proceeded to rest up more...
