(Release Notes: Working the stuff as they went up is getting to be a bitch, so to save the remnants of my sanity, I'll work them in bases of 10 from now on...)
The next day, I heard a voice from my room...
Jocelyn"Wake up, Tom- I've got good news for you..."
"zzz...that's it, Mr.Giraffe...get all the marmalade...zzz..."
Jocelyn"Um... Tom? It's Jocelyn- I'd like to speak with him..."
"zzz...What, Jocelyn? You're ready to get yourself a taste of some shonen-ai? Rock and roll...zzz..."
Jocelyn"Somehow, your sex-dreams about me aren't cutting it, so WAKE UP" I felt Jocelyn attack me with a bat with nails in it as I awoke with a flash (damn, I hate Jocelyn's wakeup calls...they usually tend to hurt...)
"Yikes...what did you want to say"
Jocelyn"Well, I WAS going to tell you the good news, but you can go back to your dream-me..."
"No, it's cool- what's up"
Jocelyn"Well, last night, April got pissed at the change of plans, so she actually went to the brass about it and made the ultimatum: I go or she goes"
"And..."
Jocelyn"So, here's the funny part- she went to my father for the claim. Who's that stupid to go to the father of the person they're going against"
"So she's gone"
Jocelyn"Took him about 5 seconds to release her from her contract."
"Excellent." That's always a plus before I head off to get to the PCW show. When I got there, I went to Donnie B. with my concerns.
"Listen, I was wondering- exactly how much do you plan to use me here in PCW? I mean, come on- Harry Potsmoker..."
Donnie"Yeah, kid- great gimmick. It'll work wonders. We'll be using you tonight..."
"I see, but...I was going to go for a written contract at wOw..."
Donnie"Why do that? Kid like you needs to get out in the world, not stay in one place. Go out there. The crowd will love you- guarantee it"
Well, he's making it hard to know whether I'll get through or not...let's see what these fans think of the gimmick first, though...
After the break, Handrollin' Ganja was WALKING! as Jimmy Vegas came up to her...
Jimmy"So, I take it you're one of those wizards I've been hearing about here..."
Ganja"What do you want? I'm trying to prepare..."
Jimmy"I'm just trying to make you feel welcome...I mean, I too have some similarities to wizards..."
Ganja"Oh, really"
Jimmy"Well, to begin with, I too have the Magic Stick...after my match tonight, I'll be happy to show you..." Just then, Harry Potsmoker came out of the back.
"Oh, really? Well, funny thing is- I don't like people messing with my friends. As a result, you've just volunteered to be the first of these PCW Muggles to find out what it's like to see your career go UP...IN...SMOKE...!" The crowd cheered as the two started brawling to the ring.
65
Harry Potsmoker v. Jimmy Vegas
You know, I'm beginning to think that PCW isn't going to go anywhere, unlike most of the good regional federations. I mean, just look at this as an example: PCW has managed to sign Tom Goddard, quite possibly one of the best young wrestlers in the world today, and they proceed to use him in a cheesy Harry Potter gimmick and put him against a marginally talented wrestler like Jimmy Vegas for his first match. For the most part, this is one match that says Potsmoker could be good at the gimmick- he gave it the old college try to get the fans interested, but a gimmick this strong hid his talent too deeply. Handrollin' Ganja comes in to help her man, and Potsmoker locked Vegas in a NICE Queen Angelito Stretch that the announcers sold as the Killing Curse for the submission victory as the crowd was loaded with indifference.
35, 67, 51
(Re-Release Notes: This was our first example of me following Goddard around throughout his career, a somewhat innovative feature of wOw Memorial that involves starting a new game for all the feds our protagonist works for and keeping it going. This had recieved acclaim in Volume 1, which led to Volume 2 taking it up a large amount giving birth to the "5 Diaries within the Diary" concept of wOw Memorial Volume 2. So blame the success of this for why wOw Memorial is by far the weirdest current diary on the Dome today...)
After the match, me and Lori started talking...
Lori"Wow, those fans sure didn't like this gimmick..."
"Damn straight. Hey, I'm planning to leave perdition and go written for wOw- do you want in? I'm sure if we bargain collectively, we can get wOw to do it..."
Lori"Sure! I don't want a career-killer like this one either" We shook on this as I made it a point to get a new contract when I got back to Rhode Island...
wOw Flagship
(Re-Release Notes: This is one of the more "wOw-based" shows, in that only one match on the card didn't involve a wOw worker- something that's a plus for this one. It's pretty obvious that for the most part and especially in Volume One, none of the people who weren't in-house wOw mattered in the long run. It was actually a weakness in wOw that caused the mess of these directionless "IRL" workers- as part of the beginning of the scenario to create these guys, I gave every wOw worker an automatic overness of 10 save for Shane Goddard, Sharon Goddard, and Bradley Richter, who got 25 in order to simulate their "legacy" in wOwfed. However, when I went to my assistants in the "real" wOwfed, all of them agreed that wOwfed would have deserved an IRL equivalent to "Regional" status. A Regional fed wouldn't really work if all their guys are 10 over, which led to the problem in this case. Luckily, by wOw Memorial Volume 2, enough guys got over enough to not have this problem as much as before.)
Bryce Samuels v. A Keg of Guinness
First things first in this matchup, people: I am not making this up. wOw actually has as one of its workers an actual keg of beer that they put in the ring. Even more strange, the Keg actually has a small cult following in wOw. This match was like all of the other Keg matches they've had, namely meaning that the human opponent drinks from this keg until they pass out in the ring. This was no exception, save for Samuels, in a drunken rage, attacking the Keg, climaxing by pouring used motor oil on the keg!
(Re-Release Notes: To begin with, YES, we actually push a keg of beer as one of our workers in wOwfed. The sad thing is, the Keg got enough of a following for a lot of people to want it as our World Champion this was definitely vetoed and led to a necessary turn for it as to be honest, if the people thought a keg of beer was better than all our characters and deserved the World Title in the real wOwfed, I would have done it, then immediately closed wOwfed and disemboweled myself in the Seppuku ritual. Samuels was a surprisingly fun character that lost too much steam with its weakness- the concept of a pro-war in Iraq heel as opposed to the WWE's habit of pushing all its faces as pro-war in Iraq had a lot of promise, IMHO...)
16, 25, 20
Steve" Two of the girls you know are wrestling. Who would you like to cheer for? "
Alicia
Jamie Kogyaru
Alicia v. Jamie Kogyaru
First things first: I don't care what you people tell me, for my money, the vaunted wOw Women's Division is a vast wasteland. Secondly: Despite this, I remain steadfast that Jamie Kogyaru is an obvious goddess in disguise for being able to wrestle this division well. If you read this, my number is 555-4017...but I digress. This match is basically the same as every other Women's Division match here- a generic Bra and Panties matchup. I was actually pretty psyched when this time, a difference was made- instead of Kogyaru finishing the opponent clean, indy worker Ben Taylor attacked on Kogyaru's behalf for the win...Re-Release Notes: Note to self: Next time, don't introduce wrestlers just to keep continuity in wOwfed to wOw Memorial. Things like this just don't work here, especially with Kogyaru's entirely different style in both places... Despite these, the match was still stale.
28, 36, 32
After the match...
Jamie"I knew you cared about me...see, Alicia? I told you when it comes down to it, Tommy here will cheer for me..." Love-Love Increased
Alicia"Hi- Jamie has told me you're pretty cool. I hope I'll see you around more often..." (Love-Love Increased)
Ash Parker v. HeartBurnKid
Finally, a match worth the price of admission...At least here, the two had a good amount of talent, and were able to play off of each other really well. I've heard good things on Parker before, and HBK usually delivers the goods, and this match was no exception. A lot of good moves from many different styles followed, as the two just tore at each other with all they had. I was a little surprised that Parker went over cleanly on HBK- either they're apparently serious on pushing Parker, or the rumors that HeartBurnKid refused to sign a written deal when they offered him one were true and this was his punishment, or both. Either way, it was a very good match.
29, 82, 55
Kakihara and Naruse v. The Shining Kidneys v. The Nobodies v. Geoffrey Richter and Michel Picard.
Okay, this is apparently for number one contender to the Tag Team Titles. As a result, three guesses who's going over here, and the first two don't count... To be fair, the three teams in this aren't half bad- Geoffrey Richter deserves respect for being apparently the ONLY Richter family member who isn't getting The Big Push here (Nepotism will get you everywhere, kids...), The Nobodies are possibly the best tag team you've never heard of, and The Shining Kidneys...well, it's REALLY impressive they managed to get Domon Kasshu to wrestle for them...Yes, I said Domon Kasshu. As in, the anime character. What, you expected less from a federation that had a keg of beer jerking the curtain? The match was what it was, i.e. A total squash match to bring Kakihara and Naruse to the table for the Tag Titles. I was pleasantly surprised they allowed The Nobodies to get one of the pinfalls, however- it gives a good sign they have plans for the two, and Greg Burch and Joey Hamm are definitely worth those plans.
(Re-Release Notes: In regards to having a keg of beer and anime character Domon Kasshu working for us, the best way to explain these are: You remember the interview on Scott Steiner's website involving his getting his power from Talsum and having a goal to 'squash cruiserweights and put on long boring matches' that was later discovered as not real? The writer of that is actually one of my assistants in the "real" wOwfed. He was basically insane enough to put stuff like that on his show, and I'm insane enough to run with it. If you have questions on the really weird stuff in wOw, figure those things as one of many examples for it.)
27, 81, 54
Chris Divine v. Tommy Suede
This match is apparently for number one contender to the Cruiserweight belt at Forcible Entry. At the very least, it's highly worth this, Suede and Divine had great chemistry in the ring, and the match was very good because of that. The high-flying moves were somehow better than the sum of its parts, and that's not a bad thing, it's a good thing insert DDP smile here! Chris Divine won the match, but this isn't over...please? Someone at wOw make sure it's not over?
48, 86, 67
Re-Auto: 34
(Re-Release Notes: Too many times in the making of wOw Memorial: Volume 1, my computer tended to eat the ending of the shows Run-Time Errors suck when you're making a diary. This led to problems like this one's original form- I had claimed two titles were on the line, and both matches were eaten by Run-Time Errors. Luckily, Volume 2 hasn't had most of these problems. Recent computer troubles may cause problems, but if worst comes to worst, September may see the beginning of whacked Out wrestling Memorial: Volume 3...)
The next Friday, I was already happy to get ready for the show. What I was told that week was even bigger, as Shane pulled me over before I got ready...
Shane"Fair warning, man: Keep Sunday open. You're going to be on the card for Forcible Entry- probably some big stuff."
"Excellent"
Shane"I'd say to knock them dead, but come on- you've been here for one month, and they're putting you on the big event's card. I know you'll handle yourself well..."
"Damn straight..." I was walking on air following that- the confirmation I'd finally get my shot on the big card's always a major thing to hear here- since they only put their biggest "in-house" guys on the major event cards, that means I've totally made it! I got ready, and headed over to watch the show...
wOw Flagship
Carter"Welcome to wOw Flagship! I am Madison Carter, and with me is Gristleizer. We're all set for a big show tonight, as we head towards Forcible Entry"
57U v. Kangor.
Kangor entered the ring first, and took THE STICK!:
"GROWL FUCK FUCK 57U YOU FUCKING FUCKER YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE FUCKING FIRST ON MY FUCKING PATH TO THE FUCKING EXTREME TITLE AS I FUCKING EAT THEN FUCKING FUCK YOUR FUCKING BODY AFTER I FUCKING KILL YOU BY FUCKING FUCKING YOU IN THE FUCKING RING! GROWL" (Re-Release Notes: I know the promos for Kangor tend to be a little...cliche. However, Kangor promos are always done this way with good reason- Kangor's entire gimmick is that he's a really bad, third-rate Rhino rip-off, and as such, his promos must use liberal amounts of the following as any Rhino promo from his ECW days did: 1) Kangor growling, 2) Kangor saying "Fuck" preferably as much as possible, 3) Kangor threatening to kill his opponent's family. It's poor promo skills, but I liken it to The Undertaker: When he had the undead zombie gimmick, it was okay that he no-sold everything just due to that being his gimmick, and that's the same story here.)
Grist"Did he just say what I think he said"
After that, 57U took the mic from the ramp...
"j00 7h1nk j00 h4v3 wh47 17 74k35 700 b3 d4 ch4mp? j00 w1ll n3v3r b3 4bl3 t00 d3f347 m3! j00 4r3 53c0nd-r473, wh1l3 1 4m 7r00ly l33t! PH34R M3"
Gee, I can hardly contain my excitement- A Rhyno-ripoff and a l33thax0rma5t0r. Only in whacked Out wrestling...To be fair- each of the two seemed like they had talent behind their crappy gimmicks. However, the fans were DEAD during the matchup. It was a bit of a styles clash, to tell the truth, which might have caused it. Kangor soon took control of the tempo, and made a halfway decent brawl. However, just as the l33t d00d-in-peril was nearly beaten, a backstage worker rolled a Keg of Guinness out to the ringside- Dear god, are they planning a run-in by an inanimate object? Kangor, as all heels would do, decides to forego the match and instead go drink, getting a countout win for 57U! After the match, Kangor tried to continue drinking, until Ian Knoxx (formerly of the Irish Drinking Team in CZW) came out and started drinking his fill, allowing Kangor to attack 57U after the match!
Only question: Can someone tell me what drugs the booking team is on? (Re-Release Notes: I still don't know why I decided to team 57U, our fed's designated "l33t" guy because EVERY Internet comedy-based thing needs its resident l33t d00d..., and The Keg up together...the two have no reason to team, on the surface. On the plus side, it does allow us to use one of wOw's signature matches, the Capture T3h B33R match, in wOw Memorial, which is a plus.)
15, 71, 43
After the break, Team Members Only were in the ring waiting. Just then, Tom Green's voice came over the wOw speakers..."...like...like basketball players...and...and Greeks...You know, MEN FROM GREECE?" Just then"Grease" hit as The Men From Greece headed to the ring for their match!
Team Members Only v. The Men From Greece
I'm actually surprised that wOw has managed a fairly decent entrance for The Men From Greece despite a limited budget for that stuff- pity they're wasting it on a third-rate Three Minute Warning ripoff, but still...Team Members Only started it on the defense, with John Boring going against Nico...and putting on a display of headlocks. Lots of headlocks. Long headlocks. Boring headlocks. Suddenly, I see why he has his name...The crowd started to chant "Boring", as John Boring actually started playing to the crowd...as if he was a face. Yikes... The Men From Greece tried to attack during this, as he tagged to his partner, Yu Phuc Dup. Yu Phuc Dup proceeded to attack...and blow more spots than a Sabu/New Jack matchup. Lots of bad moves on the Men From Greece occurred, as I am surprised he's living through this. Luckily, the Men From Greece began an attack, and hit a Spike High Angle Backdrop (that the announcers called the Big Fat Greek Suplex) for the win.
18, 90 WTF, 54
(Re-Release Notes: Possibly wOw Memorial's most pleasant surprise to date is the wOw Memorial-based rise of the Men From Greece. The team originally started as a comedy gimmick based on the original wOw's cult following of the movie "Freddie Got Fingered"...which translated in the original wOwfed into 3 Minute Warning in Greek attire...which somehow exploded in wOwM. I have to give huge props to the creator of this team, my top assistant in wOwfed and on wOw Memorial"J.S." initials used due to his preference to stay anonymous on EWB.)
After that match ended, me and Steve took the mic backstage...
"Hello, wOw fans, I am Tom Goddard, here with BBTV! Tonight, we're doing a special look at our opponents THIS SUNDAY at Forcible Entry, Masahito Kakihara and Masayuki Naruse! Since the majority of fans have probably never heard of this team, I've managed to find someone who did"
In walked Steve Evans dressed in a threadbare "ECW" T-Shirt and big Buddy Holly glasses.
"I understand you know a little about these two wrestlers' styles, can you elaborate"
Steve"I only marked out 3 Times last year and all of them came while watching Puro"
"I see...Can you tell us about Kakihara and Naruse"
Steve"Kakihara and Naruse rock, man! I saw some of their stuff on this compilation I paid 100 bucks for from a site, man- it TOTALLY beat out anything the US could do"
"Okay...can you tell us about their basic style"
Steve"Um...uh...well..."
"Have you EVER seen one of their matches"
Steve"Um...they're Puro, so they MUST rule! Everything Japanese is better than all things American! Their wrestling, their cartoons, their electronics..."
"...Their bombs, perchance"
Steve"Um...uh...I bet you mark out to Billy Gunn, Americanophile! Idiot marks like you are why wrestling sucks today"
"Yes...well, I think that we've proven our point- No one has ever seen a Kakihara and Naruse match, so technically, they must not exist! And I am certain that this Sunday, me and my tag team partner will definitely be able to give any nonexistent team a Serious case of Shonen-Ai..."
Steve"I don't wanna sound like a queer or an American wrestling fan or nothing, but your partner is a very handsome man..."
"Okay...this is Tom Goddard for BBTV, and I'm going to go over there now..."
57
Ironwood v. Shane Goddard
The announcers said this was for the number one contendership to the Extreme Title- so three guesses who'll probably win. Ironwood and Goddard could probably put on a good match, but Ironwood's still relatively new and Goddard is the booker, so it's a pretty safe bet. Despite this, the two put on a damn good brawl, as they seemed to mesh fairly well. Just then, apparently Handrollin' Ganja from PCW (who the announcers billed as Lori Angel for some reason- apparently, they have thankfully retooled her in wOw) ran in, hitting Ironwood with a chair (while apparently aiming for Shane Goddard). This led to Goddard hitting his Show-Stealer, which got the win for him. After the match, Ironwood and Angel argued a bit, before Ironwood left the ring without Angel...
36, 86, 61
After the match...
Lori"So, what did you think of my stuff out there"
You were very good...
I've seen
better...
While you were out, I had the Men From Greece take a
dump in your gym bag...
Lori"Thanks! Coming from you, that's a huge compliment"
Jonny C v. Matt Morgan
Awww...and wOw did such a great job with good brawls this show too- then they go and spoil it with a match like this one. For some reason, I didn't feel this match, and I wouldn't be surprised if something went down for it. When unheralded brawlers totally show you up and you're supposed to be "known", that's a bad sign (unless you're WCW.) Jonny C won, the fans lost- nothing major.
32, 63, 47.
Adam Windsor v. Sonny Siaki (Transcontinental Title.)
I'm surprised- two non-wOwsters managed to put on a great match for this show. Windsor and Siaki managed to play off each other well, and the result was one of Siaki's better matches. Good stuff, with Nova running in and attacking Siaki while the ref's back was turned, leading to Windsor getting the pinfall win! The crowd cheered as Windsor held up the Transcontinental title- until another ref headed out for the Dusty Finish- reversing the decision. (Like THAT hasn't been done enough...) All in all, however, the match went well, and I'm interested in seeing Nova/Siaki now...
60, 93, 76
Mike Rotundo v. Race Steele
Pretty much a sorbet to cleanse the palate between a great match and the main event. At least this sorbet did manage to put on a decent cause- that of Rotundo putting over a younger wrestler for the main event in Race Steele. There's nothing wrong with older guys putting over younger, especially in a federation that's looking to carve its own niche out...
52, 78, 65
Dave Menne v. Vampiro
First question: How the hell did wOw manage to get Vampiro (someone who was always solid if unspectacular in the ring) and Dave Menne (a shoot-fighter, which should tell anyone who remembers Dan Severn and Tank Abbott something...) to actually perform like this? These two have managed to revitalize themselves here, and it has led to great things. Vampiro put on another textbook great match here tonight- apparently his matches with Blackman have proven him to be great with more shoot-fighting style wrestlers. Menne looked better than I've seen him for the most part, and I grow more and more surprised no one's snatched him up by the day. This match was pretty straightforward as a great show until the ending, where Big Vito came to the ring and attacked Menne, causing a DQ. That match looks to be good for Forcible Entry- Menne's managed to bring out the best in Big Vito...
72, 94, 83
Overall: 63
After the show, Sophie and Robbie headed to the locker room...
Robbie"I just wanted to come to say my thanks to all of you here at wOw. We've been around for nearly 20 years, and have always managed to put on a decent show for the people of New England during that, rolling with the times. I see my own children out there, doing the same stuff I was able to do at the beginning, and it makes me know that our future is bright, and I just wanted to say..."
Sophie"Oh, come on, Robbie- stop with the speech- I just checked out our fanbase, and it's official, whacked Out wrestling has officially reached Cult Level" The cheers went up all around the locker room at the news.
Robbie"And now, since we've made it this big, it's only time for...BIG CULT FEDERATION DANCE PARTY! LOTS OF FUN MUCH HAD BY ALL..." The entire federation suddenly started partying for no apparent reason, as everyone: wOw workers, non-in-house guys, and (I believe) even the IRL wOw staff started to show up. I couldn't understand the whole of this, and really- who cares? It's a celebration, bitches!
Well, this is it- my debut on the bigger shows we put on. I had some surprisingly big butterflies in my stomach- they come to these to see wrestlers they know, and I was still unheralded. I went to Shane to get the plans for the ending to our matchup, and just waited until we were on. Luckily, since it was a big show, more of the big names got on this one. It's always a plus when you can see people who you know of, if only to see what can help you out in the future...
Carter "Welcome to wOw Forcible Entry! As all of you know, we're Rhode Island's hottest morning show team, Madison Carter and Gristleizer, and we're going to be calling the action right here for whacked Out wrestling"
Grist"You've got it, man! We've got some of the best wrestlers in the world, and New England as well here tonight! I know you came to see some wrestling, so let's get our show on"
wOw Forcible Entry
Steve 5 of the girls you know are in this. Who will you cheer for?
Jocelyn Richter
Kari-Chan
Barbara
Vixen
Alicia
Alura
20-Woman Battle Royal (for Women's Title, 1 contender)
Random Fact: You wouldn't guess it, but Providence, Rhode Island is home to many of the most respected strip clubs on the East Coast, a fact many of your finest professional athletes take advantage of when they play in nearby Boston. I say this because this is likely the reason why wOw has a seemingly endless supply of female "workers" to stink up their rings, almost all of whom have little to no wrestling ability. I know that legends are big in wrestling, but does that cheesy "If a girl about to leave the company tells a co-worker how they feel about them, they'll live happily ever after" really work? Since it's not a, you know, match worth watching, I'll just recap the eliminations I saw:
1) Athena (Not the Athena with the cult
fame from NWATNA, some random Athena who used to work for nearby YPW)
eliminated by Barbara Vixen
2) Avalon eliminated by Nikita Fink
3)
Barbara Vixen eliminated by Jocelyn Richter
4) Candie eliminated
by Candice
5) Alicia (Not the one formerly known as Ryan Shamrock,
but a generic one apparently just out of the strip club) eliminated
by Amber
6) Cadey eliminated by Cheerleader Melissa
7)
Kari-Chan eliminated by Buffy
8) American Bombshell eliminated by
Allaylah Silky
9) Candice eliminated by Bobbi-Jo Jablonski
10)
Alura eliminated by Nikita
11) Bam Bam Bambi eliminated by
Amber
12) Nikita Fink eliminated by Bobbi-Jo Jablonski
13)
Angel (this one allegedly being from some WAW federation even I
haven't heard of) eliminated by Buffy
14) Allaylah Silky
eliminated by Amber
15) Chamera eliminated by Buffy
16) Buffy
eliminated by Bobbi-Jo Jablonski
17) Amber eliminated by
Cheerleader Melissa
18) Bobbi-Jo Jablonski eliminated by
Cheerleader Melissa
19) Cheerleader Melissa eliminated by Jocelyn
Richter
Final tally: Well, it was pretty to look at, but horrible to behold in the ring...
23, 20, 19
After the match, Jocelyn Richter celebrated-until Jamie Kogyaru said she'd get her match immediately! I'm loaded with indifference...
Jocelyn Richter v. Jamie Kogyaru
...At least until I saw this match. To put it simply, THIS is what I was told wOw Women's wrestling would be like all the time: Two insanely cute and surprisingly talented female wrestlers tearing the house down with skill. No Bra and Panties stipulations, no former lap-dancers in bikinis, just two women putting on a match that would put many men to shame. Great matchup, finishing with Ben Taylor coming in to help Kogyaru out with a Ben-Ton Bomb, finishing the challenger. The two then beat Richter down until the cavalry came out in the form of Tom Goddard to chase the two away!
35, 71, 47
After the match:
Kari-Chan"Awww- you cheered for me! You're so sweet, Tom..." LOVE-LOVE INCREASE
Jamie"Oh, so THAT's it...you prefer her to me? Fine, be that way..." LOVE-LOVE DECREASE
Jocelyn"I was going to get mad at you for not cheering me, but you DID run-in for me- you're off the hook. Later"
Gary Steele v. Xavier (Cruiserweight Title)
Surprisingly good technical matchup. I've mostly seen Xavier do high-flying, and Steele's always been a little more overrated to me, but they each meshed really well here. A lot of nice moves put this match on the must-see pile. Xavier soon took the advantage, and then kept it- at least until Eric Gracie ran into the ring and did some good kicks about a 0.5 on the Tajiri scale, for those of you keeping track on Xavier as the crowd cheered! Gary Steele locked Xavier in the Cross Armbreaker, and we have a New Champion! Steele and Gracie then attacked Xavier- hey, I thought you shouldn't kick a man while he's down. Not a bad matchup for either man.
50, 90, 63
Carly Colon v. Matt Cappotelli
Before the match, Cappotelli took the mic and said that if he couldn't beat Colon this time, he would leave whacked Out wrestling forever...almost assuring Cappotelli would win. Or not. I don't know the inside works of this place, and I don't really care ...but I digress. This is the same as most of the Colon/Cappotelli matches I've seen- namely, overrated basic brawling that for some reason, smarks are calling great. The match proved if nothing else, the two have chemistry together. Carly Colon locked in the Inverted Figure Four, and Cappotelli signals he left the company by tapping out cleanly! I guess I was wrong...
60, 80, 63
Kakihara and Naruse v. The Bishie Boys (Tag Titles)
I don't care what wOw fans are saying: They're backstage politicians, they only have their push due to one being related to the head booker, they screwed Youthanazia- I like the Bishie Boys. There, I said it. I already liked Kakihara and Naruse's work, so this looks to be a good match. And I saw it, and it was good. The two teams both work well together as teams, and both are great high-flying teams, so it really went well for this one. Nice double-team moves by both teams abounded, as the two teams just went at it for a good period. The only thing I wasn't happy about was the ending, with Jocelyn Richter distracting Naruse while Steve Evans loaded Tom Goddard up with Kakihara, allowing Goddard to hit the My Final Heaven for the big victory. I mean, with two teams this evenly matched, a clean win would have done well (plus Richter's been exposed enough this show...) All in all, a good match, and I'd like to see more from the teams involved.
39, 88, 56.
After the match...
Jocelyn Richter"So, what'd you think about my help"
You're
the queen, thanks!
We could have done it
ourselves...
Jocelyn...I...
Suddenly and without reason, Reflecto writes himself into the story, heads backstage, and hits Tom Goddard with a mallet!
Reflecto"Sorry, Tom, but I can't go having you make any pseudo-angsty anime-style unstated declarations of love now- I have WAY too much that I can use for this diary to try that" The author then left the action and headed back to writing.
Shane Goddard v. Kintaro Kanemura (for the Extreme Title)
Okay, a match between a non-in house talent and the booker- someone known to push in-house wrestlers...gee, who do you think is coming out with the belt? Well, I suppose I should give Shane Goddard some slack- this match was actually a good hardcore match, bringing to mind the best of ECW and the majority of WWE's late hardcore matches- you know, when they let Hardcore wrestlers actually put on matches? I was surprised that Kanemura, a Deathmatch legend, was actually able to tone it down for an American style, but it worked for this one. I was more surprised that Kanemura won the match against the booker...albeit by grabbing the tights CHEATING TO WIN!? In a hardcore match? WASSUPWITDAT? All in all, a decent hardcore battle for the people too wimpy to get into deathmatches.
42, 82, 55.
Nova v. Sonny Siaki
Okay, I've been waiting for this one all month. These two have been tearing into each other, and this match should be something to see...
...and it is, with Robbie Richter coming out and making this a ladder match! A series of nice moves followed between Nova and Siaki, as the two proved their styles meshed well. Nice ladder spots abounded between the two, while it seemed to be more of the Shawn Michaels "use the ladder to tell a story" rather than the Hardy Boyz' "Use the ladder for SICK bumps" that's gotten so popular. Pretty decent match, with Nova using a nice Missile Dropkick from the top of the ladder, then climbing back up to get the win and the Title. Awesome- NOVA INVENTED TITLES! Or not...
80, 93, 77
Afterwards, Richter stayed out there, and announced that in order to keep Menne and Big Vito's running buddies, Vitor Belfort and Johnny Stamboli, from interfering in their matchup, he's making this a wOw-exclusive match: The Double Shot matchup! (Re-Release Notes: The Double-Shot match is basically one of wOwfed's first basically original matches, and one I'm surprised a televised fed hasn't tried yet. In case you don't know the style of it, the Double Shot is one that can only be really done on TV or with a decent big screen like wOw has, where one match is wrestled solely in the ring adding throwing an opponent outside the ring as a possible way to win while at the same time, another is wrestled in a backstage assault matchup and cannot go inside the ringside area. Once one of the matches ends, however, the winning worker of that match then gets the ability to interfere in the other match with impunity. It's visually exciting, but it looks better on TV with good production values where split-screen can be used.)
Outside the ring, Vitor Belfort and Johnny Stamboli took the attack to each other right in their dressing room, attacking each other mercilessly in an out-and-out brawl. The two fought all along the front of the hallway, as people filed there to see what was going on for themselves. Shots with bags of popcorn abounded as the two fought by the concessions. Finally, once they got outside the ring, Stamboli hit a Fugeddabout It on Belfort on the concrete to get a win!
66, 93, 71
Meanwhile, in the ring, Menne and Big Vito just tried to destroy each other. The two just kept making a can-you-top-this array of moves to get the other one to just beat the other into oblivion. Big Vito attacked Menne with great brawling, while Menne countered with nice shootfighting skills. Just as the match seemed to be going Vito's way, Menne countered with a chokehold out of nowhere! Menne kept the hold on until Big Vito went limp. The referee went for a 10 count...and Big Vito didn't get up from it! I don't think I've seen that finish occur- new World Champion! After the match, Dave Menne celebrated, while Gary Wolfe ran in and basically kicked Vito while he was down, attacking the former champion!
60, 100, 72
Overall: 64
After the show, we received word of the month's releases from wOw. I wasn't too surprised with most of them, and luckily none of my friends were on it sometimes, it's good to be in with the bookers... I headed through the locker room to get my stuff while trying not to make eye contact with the releases (one part respect, and one part my own want to not have them take it out on me)- until I had to, the result of seeing Matt Morgan getting a letter in his locker...
Shane"Ah, little bro- you're apparently about to see a beautiful thing right now..."
"Shane, I'm 20, I don't need that talk..."
Shane"No, just watch..." We then saw Morgan head over to the place where the ring was being taken down, where Anni King was waiting...
Anni"Now...Matt...I know I didn't say it- but all throughout the time we've been here, you've been my rock- the only person I really knew here..."
Matt"I know what you mean- Tough Enough tends to do that to people..."
Anni"What...what I'm trying to say is- I don't want to lose you now that we're going back to the indies..."
Matt"What...what do you mean"
Anni"I...I love you, okay" The younger kids in the back started giving a golf clap as they finally got to see one of the legendary "confessions" succeed afterwards.
OMAKE: How that stuff works...
"Hi, diary readers! This is Steve Evans. You EWB fans know me as Tom Goddard's tag team partner in the current wOw Tag Team Champions. You lucky people reading from the wOw! Creative board http:relecto. we originated might know me as DJ Bishie Boy, but that's neither here nor there. The fact is, in whacked Out wrestling Memorial, I know all the girls, and I am here to tell you the rules of the game"
If the Love-Love Power resides in the:
Negatives: Ouch, this girl doesn't like my boy. The more negative, the less she likes him. If it's over -5, she'll really dislike him( if that occurs, Tom Goddard's wOw Memorial in-game stats will each decrease by 1 point per stat). If it's over -10, she'll hate his guts (which would cause his in-game stats to decrease by 5 points per), and both of those will really start to affect his workrate for the worse- what can I say, Tommy Guns is thin-skinned!
Zero: She basically doesn't care either way about him. This can be a bad thing, a good thing, or as DDP would say, not a bad thing, but a good thing!
Positives: Well, if negatives is a bad thing, positives must be good. The higher the positives, the more "LOVE-LOVE POWER" she has for him. If her love-love power is over +5, she's friends with him (which causes his stats to increase by 1), Over +15, she's loyal to him (which causes an increase by 3), and over +25- well, you had better hope that she doesn't get fired soon, because she's so in love with him the bloody diary'd end, now wouldn't it (and if it stays going on, Goddard's stats increase by 5)? Will these affect Tom's workrate? Damn straight they will, and the same would go for any wOw Memorial worker. Well, I've got to go- see you next time on wOw Memorial!
(Re-Release Notes: I needed something to give a viable reward for these things, so I came up with using Arsenic to reward workers for these things towards it. More occurs later on in this to really show these occurrences.)
I walked into the office that Monday to see my brother come up to me...
Shane"Tom, we need your help- Finale has locked himself in the office and he isn't coming out..."
"Okay, and why are you asking me"
Shane"Well, you're his friend, right"
"Um, Finale doesn't really have friends..."
Shane"I know, but you've been in really good matches with him in the past- once you break 4 stars, you're bound to get a connection with somebody. There's really no one else to turn to, go find out..." I headed over to the office. "Um, Ravyn"
Finale"Go away- I don't want to talk...my time here's been ruined..."
"It's Tom- what's the problem"
Finale"It's pretty bad- I can't give the stuff."
"Come on, man- we've been able to put on great stuff out there- you know I'm on your side. What's wrong"
Finale"Well, it is pretty much workrate-related..." Finale opened the door as I headed in. "You see, today I got this in the mail..." I looked at the letter.
To the attention of: Ravyn Taylor (Finale.)
Over the past few months, it is our understanding that you've gained a decent reputation as a world-class brawler with stiffness and enough high-flying ability to make a matchup work. In addition, some of our people in the United States have sent tapes of your recent matches in whacked Out wrestling. These tapes impressed us, and it is our pleasure to offer you an all-expenses paid touring contract for the next year in Osaka Pro Wrestling. There will be 3 tours for the next year, with the first starting on March 20 and running through the 24th of the same month. Additional tours are planned for July and October of 2004. We are pleased to have you on board.
Sincerely,
The Board of Directors, Osaka Pro Wrestling.
I was honestly surprised that this was the news...he gets to go to Japan and I don't? cries I wanna go I wanna go I wanna go...oh, excuse me, need to get back on track...
"And you're actually sad about this, man? This is great! Getting a chance to wrestle and train in Japan is like the pinnacle for any wrestler! I would love to do something like that..."
Finale"I see...well, if you wanted, I'd trade spots with you..."
"What are you talking about? Japanese wrestling's like the top in the world. The great puro stars you can learn from..."
Finale"They sent me the list of other workers- most of them are going to be relative newcomers from their training school. The only name I've ever heard of is Jeremy Lopez, and I've never really been impressed with his work..."
"Still, dude- this is the chance of a lifetime, and you'd want to walk away from it"
Finale"Whoa- who said I'd walk away from this? Everyone does know- if you're on the indys and Japan calls, you accept the charges. I am going...I'd be crazy not to, ya know"
"Well, then what's the problem"
Finale"Well, honestly...this is the big time, and...and I don't have anyone to ask my love for..."
"I see. You're worried on the confession part, huh"
Finale"Yeah, a little. It's just that- all these girls are, for the most part, shallow little bitches who aren't really worth my time..."
"Don't worry man. I mean, come on- you just got the confirmation letter today. You don't leave on your first trip until March- you've still got 3 months to find someone worth your time..."
Finale"I guess you're right..."
"So, chin up! And besides, man- even if you can't find an American girl, just remember- you're going to a place where wrestling's considered an artform, in a country where there are more cute schoolgirls per capita than most other places in the world"
Finale"mmm...Japanese schoolgirls..."I saw Finale drool a little bit as I continued...
"Now go get them"
Finale"Yeah! I'm going to Japan"
"You know it, bro"
Finale"And I've already told some of my friends around North America this"
"Hold up- I thought you were unhappy..."
Finale"And one of them, Scottie Mac, told me his federation is going bankrupt, and he's moving down to Rhode Island to come get back on his feet..."
"Okay...that could be good..."
"...And I kind of told him he'd be given a job here at wOw! He and some others should be here by Friday"
"Now we have a problem..." YIKES...how do I tell this to the owners? Wrestlers basically hiring people out of the blue isn't a good thing, especially for a federation on the rise like us...
Shane"So, did it go all right? Is he jumping off a bridge"
"Nope, just going to Osaka- oh, Shane, just so you don't hear any rumors..."
Shane"Yes? He didn't say he was going to confess to me, did he"
"Of course not, but...when I was talking it out with Finale, he said that someone from ECCW -Scottie Mac- was coming down here, and he kind of promised them a job..."
Shane"That's cool...there's a few people we were going to pick from the scrap heap there anyways before they went bankrupt..."
Well, I did my good deed for the day...now Santa will be sure to come for me and give me exactly what I wanted...
(Jocelyn"Happy Birthday, Mr.President...") Suddenly, I got attacked by Jocelyn...
Jocelyn"NO DAYDREAMING ABOUT ME, DAMN YOU"
"What...tipped me off..."
("Be a dear and keep me secret- I don't make my debut until Volume 2...)"
Jocelyn"Um...you had a smirk on your face like you were up to something"
"Darn women's intuition making it so I can't have ecchi thoughts about them..." Well, other than that, everything has went fine today. As I left, I came across another wrestler picking up his check...
Buck Quartermain"Ah, Tom! I was wondering- have you seen your brother around"
"Nope- why? What do you need"
BQ"I just thought that, since I know that he has a tough job as head booker, he could use some help with something..."
"You're not politicking, are you"
BQ"No, I want to give him this book that'll help him out. It changed my life. It's called the Power for Living. It's a non-denominational booklet, even though it's put out by the Church of Jesus Christ for Latter-Day Saints..." Great...another religious freak...
"Okay- I'll let him know about that..."
BQ"You know, Tom, I've seen your lady problems- if you join us, you can marry all of those girls! Then, when you die, they'll all serve you on your very own planet..." (Re-Release Notes: I did NOT make that up- that is an actual Mormon belief...)
"Um, did you read Steve's Omake? Not all of them like me..."
BQ"No biggie- they don't need to be there for you to marry them..." (As is that...) Yikes- get the psycho Mormon away from me... I tried to leave the building as fast as I could, accidentally plowing through someone coming the other way and sending him down the front steps...
Worker"OW! My arm" Yikes...some people rushed over as I tried to head to the door... "What's wrong...who are you"
Injury"Um, Tom, it's Tiga- I guess you haven't seen me without my mask on..."
"Oh, yeah- the Ultraman guy! What's going on...well, besides the...falling down the stairs..." One of the medics came out and checked the injury...
Medic"Sorry,son- it looks like your arm is broken. It should heal in about 6 weeks, but you'll probably be out of action for 2 months..."
"Gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai, Tiga...um, Finale's going to Japan- I'll treat for him to pick up some cool stuff for you next trip- okay"
Tiga"Okay, man..." I tried to leave, only to have Kari-Chan call my cell phone...
Kari-Chan"You know, Tom- I really don't like it when you barrel into and injure one of my clients..."How'd she know so fast? LOVE-LOVE DECREASE
"Welcome to wOw Flagship! I am Madison Carter, and with me is Gristleizer! We're coming off a huge Forcible Entry, with most of our titles changing hands! Let's get to the action immediately"
wOw Flagship
Remiel, Japanese Ghost, and The Grim Reaper v. Fighter, Bryce Samuels, and Silent Storm
Before the match, Samuels tried to talk sense to his teammates, only to have Fighter go on about liking swords and Silent Storm being...well, in his own universe. Their opponents then managed to attack while they tried to get on the same page, and were able to destroy the three opponents. I'm liking what I'm seeing- these three could be a decent 6-man tag team, something wrestling really hasn't done well since 1999. Remiel CHEATS TO WIN! and gets the duke, as the three opponents fight back to the locker room.
15, 75, 45
Finale v. Ironwood
How do I describe this in one word? SICK. In two? REALLY SICK. Incredibly nice brawling between the two people. I had heard great things about Finale, and knew Ironwood was good, and both really delivered. The only thing I didn't like was the ending, as Scottie Mac from ECCW (although the announcers billed him as "Stevie Mac" for some reason) ran in and caused Finale to win the match. That definitely could have been done with a clean victory. After the match, Finale billed that "their Legacy of Chaos would soon become an Axis of Evil" or something- they're not going to be doing a terrorist gimmick or anything, right?
28, 95, 61
Before the match:
Steve"Two girls you know are fighting. Who will you cheer for?"
Sharon
Goddard
Kari-Chan
Kari-Chan v. Sharon Goddard
Yep, a bra and panties match...featuring a josei God, and a person who's gotten a rep as basically being a working rat. At the very least, it's always nice to see someone like that get totally STIFFED...or not, as this went into WWE-mode for bra and panties matches. Instead of nice matches like Goddard is known for...we get...Sharon Goddard Spanking a Catgirl's Ass? Somewhere, puro weeps. After a little of this abortion, it finally gets hardcore, as Goddard attacks Kari-Chan with a steel pipe (SMELL THE FREUDIANISM!), while the pretender tries to fight with a plastic-looking wand. No problems, as Sharon Goddard hit the Reverse Goddard Driver for the win. After the match, Goddard celebrated...until Kari-Chan looked at the wand, and read something on it,as a strange light came down...oh no...when we came back, she claimed to be the "Magical Pretty Girl Kari-Chan" and started attacking. Oh sweet Jesus, we have a Sailor Moon gimmick in wOw...
31,36,33
After the match:
Kari-Chan"Aww- you cheered me over your own sister! I knew you cared about me..." Kari-Chan proceeded to glomp me as I tried to get to my position... LOVE-LOVE INCREASE
After that, Kakihara and Naruse were WALKING! as The Bishie Boys and Jocelyn Richter attacked them with ruthless aggression (Ruthless Aggression a registered trademark of WWE.) The three then took the mic...
Steve"Don't think it's over- we won't rest until you two leave wOw in shame"
"In case you need some help- call us; we can get you a good deal on Seppuku blades..."
53
Big Vito v. Gary Wolfe
This match came about from Forcible Entry after Wolfe cost Vito the title- yeah, I'm as surprised as you that they're building from these things...I'm even more surprised that Wolfe, an apparent washed-up ECW guy, managed to come to a good match. Of course, Big Vito's become an MVP candidate for wOw's meteoric rise, but it doesn't take away from that. The two put on a decent matchup, with Vito getting a relatively clean win with the Implant DDT. Not too bad, and helped show that Vito apparently won't just leave outright now that he's not champion.
55, 89, 72
Kintaro Kanemura v. Nova
This match is only for Nova's Transcontinental Title. The two proceeded to put on a style clash of a matchup as only an innovative wrestler and a deathmatch legend could. Suddenly, Shane Goddard runs into the ring and we are officially OVERBOOKED! Goddard helps Nova beat Kanemura for the win, only to have Joey Idol run in and save Kanemura! Decent match, as overbooked style clashes go...
55, 78, 66
Carly Colon and John Hennigan v. Gedo and Jado
Okay, quick question: If Colon just drove Matt Cappotelli out of wOw, why is he teaming with John Hennigan, Cappotelli's fellow Tough Enough winner, on the very next show? Are WWE writers booking this? Anyway, Hennigan and Colon were actually somewhat decent together, or better than I had expected, anyways. Gedo and Jado always deliver the goods, so this was actually a decent matchup. Colon won with a Stunner. I don't have any major beef with this match...
62, 84, 73
Dave Menne v. Vitor Belfort (for the wOw World Title)
Wow, a shoot-fighter matchup at the top of the card...I guess those people who marked for Tank Abbott were right after all. Handshake to start, as the announcers billed it as being given by Dave Menne out of respect for Belfort. The two put on a decent UFC-style fight for the most part.Menne finally got Belfort down and choked him out for the win. The two shook as the show ended. Now, this is not a problem- sometimes, shootfighters can be a good part of a show, and wOw's been really good with their shootfighters in the ring.
68, 83, 75
Overall: 61
That Monday, I decided to rest up. I headed off to check my fave wrestling website, and check the news in wrestling...
Subject: SoCal Top Federation Ends- UPW bought Out by East Coast fed...
From: SoCalFanBoy
I'm totally shocked- I don't know what to say.
I just got back from the latest Universal Pro Wrestling show. I had heard that they were having financial trouble, but I didn't expect this to occur:
Basically, Rick Bassman started up the show saying that there was this "Big Surprise" to keep UPW going. I assumed some investors were talking with them to keep UPW afloat. What I didn't expect was what happened...
In the main event, Hardcore Kidd and Tom Howard were fighting. Suddenly, the lights went out. Just then, Brad Richter and Shane Goddard came into the ring and laid both men out! Afterwards, Richter took a mic and announced his father, as Robbie Richter came into the ring. Richter then made the announcement I didn't think I'd hear: he bought UPW, and hereafter it would be known as whacked Out wrestling West!
Since I don't follow many East Coast indies, does anyone know much about wOw's style"
Subject: wOw/UPW deal?
From: wOwMark
Not too bad- UPW has a lot of good workers, and the fact that they've got a long-standing history with WWE could be good things. I'm hoping this could lead to some wOw guys getting into the WWE eventually...
For the style, I've heard some people compare its in-ring work to something like World Class with more women: Good workers, a large array of styles, but also with one weakness where they tend to push Richter family members and Goddard family members to the moon. This can be a good thing (I personally like Brad Richter and Shane Goddard's in-ring styles, and I personally think that the sky is the limit for Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter as workers), but it leads to a lot of weak pushes (Geoffrey Richter in particular has NO business being in a wrestling ring, IMO.)
I was shocked- I got my cell and called Shane...
"Hey, Shane! What's going on- hanging out...chilling at home? GOING TO CALIFORNIA AND BUYING A FEDERATION WITHOUT TELLING ME"
Shane"I take it you heard about the UPW deal, huh"
"Well, yeah- it hit the websites..."
Shane"Yeah, sorry about that. We needed to keep it silent- Robbie felt that if we told people, we could potentially lose the deal. He had heard that the WWE was still thinking it over about buying them as a developmental fed, and Robbie felt that us getting UPW would be the best option for our growth. In his words, this could force them to build a New England development fed, and possibly open up a working relationship with wOw..."
"But why UPW"
Shane"He felt that since we're a Cult federation now, we needed a foothold on the West Coast. UPW seemed to be the best place."
"Very cool...I wish I could see what wOw West will be like..."
Shane: Duh- you will. Tapings this Friday are going to be in Los Angeles; so wOw is going to California, baby"
"SWEET" ISuddenly, some cheesy '80s-sounding party theme hit as I saw the words "whacked Out wrestling SPECIAL EVENT" showed up in front of me...
The next few days were just awesome. HeartBurnKid put me, Steve, and Jared up at his place, which was a huge benefit- not having to pay hotel fees really helped out for this. A few days were spent preparing- reducing our jet lag for the show Friday, taking in the sights, and just slacking off in an entirely different area. Eventually, Steve came over with some suggestions on stuff to do...
Steve"You know, since we're here, you might want to pick up some gifts for the girls you know, Tom...would you like to" Jared then came over with different ideas...
Jared"No, don't bother with that, dude- everyone knows the rule of different area codes: What happens in one place, stays in that place! Let's all go party" The two started arguing about their choices' benefits. Just as I saw mallets being brought out, HBK came to settle things...
HBK"Dude- come on. Do both! Get them something, then we can all hit the town"
I liked HBK's idea, so we proceeded to do both. After picking up some gifts, we hit the best club that recognized HeartBurnKid...until...
Bouncer"Hey, aren't you Tom Goddard"
HeartBurnKid"I'm sorry- I'm the one who wrestles on this coast...you know, Revolution Pro Wrestling superstar HeartBurnKid here"
Bouncer"Haven't you heard of this guy? I've heard positively sick stuff about his work in New England! Hell, EWRevenge is calling him the 'Next Big Thing' in wrestling right now! Of course you guys can come in" (Re-Release Notes: Three guesses what this is signifying in-game...)
The 'natural attractions' we found seemed good- at least, until we saw something from home...
Jocelyn"So, I was like, well, if you're so desperate to make me a manager, dad, could you put me with Tom and his partner? And he was like, sure, and now, the rest is history. I still am jealous that you get to wrestle for the most part- I wonder how I can get through this..."
Jamie"Don't worry- you get to hang out with two total hotties in the angle"
Jocelyn"Ooh...I'm telling Tom you said he and Steve were hot..."
Lori"You can- apparently, that's him right there..."
The three came over to us...
Jocelyn"So, as soon as we get
out here, you become Mr.Pimp of the Nation"
Jocelyn Slaps
Tom
Love-Love Decrease
(Re-Release
Notes: Slap Count: 2...)
Jamie"Yeah- shouldn't you
be resting for your match"
Jamie Slaps Tom
(3)
Love-Love Decrease
Lori"I don't really care either way, but this looks fun"
Lori Slaps Tom
( Re-Release Notes:
4...)
Love-Love Decrease
I saw the three then proceed to slap Steve ("I can't believe you allowed him to do this! I thought you were somewhat trustworthy") and HBK ("So, THIS is what you meant by sightseeing")
HBK"So...how come Jared gets away with no slapping" HBK spoke too soon... ("I don't really know you, but you aren't getting away with this") Usually, getting slapped by girls is a bad sign that you should go home, so I headed to the rental car and got back. As I did, I managed to see my brother...
Shane"Listen, I was wondering- you know a little Japanese, right"
"Yeah- I know some Japanese...why"
Shane"Well, I was flipping through, and I heard Kanemura on a Japanese language station, and I heard the words 'Shane Goddard', so I assume they were talking about me...only question is- 'Baka' means 'Outstanding wrestler and great booker', right"
"Um, actually..."
Shane"Dammit..."
Friday, December 12.
wOw Flagship
(Right about here's the part when I feel like I was starting to find my diary's own voice, it seems like- there's not likely to be a lot of real changes for these notes...
"Welcome to wOw Flagship! The usual hosts, Madison Carter and Gristleizer, couldn't make it out here to California, so filling in are the new hosts on this side of the country! I am Jonathan Coachman, and with me is Tony Schiavone"
Schiavone"Welcome, everyone! wOw is invading the West Coast! This is the greatest night in the history of our great sport! Tonight, in honor of the news that wOw has purchased UPW from out here, we're having a special wOw v. UPW show, where every match will feature a matchup between someone from each of the companies"
The Cannonball Commission v. The Havana Pitbulls v. Sovereign Supremacy v. Foundation X.
Wow, they actually teamed Steele and Roche up full-time...apparently, someone in wOw listens to me after all. The Sovereign Supremacy are in fact a wOw team, and damn, Prodigy looks JAKKED. I mean, he towers over most of these guys. On the match, we started off with a good UPW alum bout, as the Pitbulls and Foundation X laid into each other with everything they had, apparently auditioning for roles with wOw. Foundation X looked like they were on, eventually eliminating the Pitbulls first. The Sovereign Supremacy came in, with Johnny Blaze starting things off. Blaze was able to run with the F-X guys pretty well- I can see him being a major player in wOw. Blaze tagged out to Prodigy, and Prodigy just destroyed the Foundation X guys with massive power. Then, he proceeded to...use submission holds? Do my eyes decieve me, or do we have the next coming of Brock Lesnar on our hands? It was all for naught, however, once Scott Lost got the hot tag to John Roche. Once that occurred, the CC were HOME-GROWN ON FIRE! and attacked Prodigy with a lot of nice moves, getting a pin. From there, Foundation X attacked the Cannonball Commission with their skills, finally hitting The Breaking Point on John Roche for the win. Not bad- I wouldn't be against seeing most of these guys again.
37, 87, 62
(UPW Women's v. wOw Women's) Midajah v. Jamie Kogyaru
Steve"One of the girls you know is wrestling in this match. Who would you like to cheer for"
Jamie
Kogyaru
Midajah
Coach"Oh, yeah, this is why I love wrestling, Tony- two hotties going at it for each of their federation's respective title"
Tony"Midajah has the experience, but from what I've seen, Jamie Kogyaru wears that Sidewalk Slam around her Sidewalk Slam very well, and will defend it against all comers"
Coach"Don't you mean her title"
Tony"That's what I said, Sidewalk Slam"
Match: Oh dear God, they've brought their "great Women's Wrestling" to the West Coast as well... On the plus side, Midajah's a much bigger name than wOw is used to. On the minus side, she hasn't improved a bit since her time in WCW 3 years ago. Once again, it's a typical wOw Women's match: Generic opponent fights with little to no skill, Jamie Kogyaru proves exactly why she is a complete and utter goddess by pulling them to something watchable. Quick Japanese Schoolgirl Pin which Schiavone called a Sidewalk Slam, stripping, win for the good wrestler. Yeah, this is formulaic...
62, 41, 55
After the match...
Jamie"Aw...you cheered for me. Don't assume this gets you off the hook, you little playboy..." Love-Love Increase
After the break...
"Hi, everyone, this is Pamela Paulshock, and I am right here with the Extreme Champion, Kintaro Kanemura..."
Suddenly, Adara James came into the picture...
"I'm sorry, miss, but in case you didn't remember, Mr.Kanemura cannot speak English. Hence, anything you need to ask him can go through me, his official translator, Adara James."
Paulshock"I see...Mr. Kanemura, in recent weeks you've been having trouble with Shane Goddard. What is your thoughts on this"
Kanemura spoke something in Japanese...
James"What Mr. Kanemura said is that Shane Goddard is nothing but a second-rate pretty boy who spends all his time in the cocoon that is whacked Out wrestling because he lacks the balls to try and fight anywhere else in the world"
Kanemura then spoke again...
James"He also says that he is looking forward to facing him again, if only to prove to him that he's nothing more than a big fish in a small pond, and that he's nowhere near a match for the wOw Extreme Champion! At Strange Days, Shane Goddard can prepare for a world of pain"
53
Kintaro Kanemura v. The Predator (for the wOw Extreme Title)
Pretty decent hardcore matchup to start, with The Predator actually being able to counter Kanemura's great ability at this. Decent stuff for the most part, going closer to the "ECW-style" of hardcore than the "WWE-style." I guess the rumors that wOw will be able to take this role are true. Kanemura took the upper hand...until Shane Goddard showed up on the outside! Kanemura turned to the referee to get him to go back- only to have The Predator roll him up for the win!
Coachman"We have a huge upset here"
Tony Schiavone"IT'S STING! IT'S STING"
Coachman"No...that's Shane Goddard..."
Schiavone"WE'RE OUT OF TIME, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK"
Coachman"Serenity now..."
After the match, Goddard and Predator attacked Kanemura, only to have Kanemura attack Shane Goddard and hit the Fire Thunder Powerbomb on him!
Winner (NEW Extreme Champion): The Predator
24, 77, 50
(UPW v. wOw Tag Titles) The Ballard Brothers v. The Bishie Boys
Oh, joy- an overrated brother tag team from the West Coast and an overrated tag team featuring the booker's brother from the East Coast. Joy...? To be fair, however, this was a halfway decent bout for this. The Ballards proved why they deserve to be added to the wOw roster full-time, while the Bishie Boys proved why the reactions they've gotten are good ones. A little bit of a style clash, but it was pretty much worked through. The Bishie Boys hit the Shonen Knife and got the win to unify those belts. Just then, Kakihara and Naruse came to the ring to attack the double-champs and we are OVERBOOKED! A big beatdown followed, as the two teams just laid into each other while the Ballards got out of there!
47, 82, 64
Gary Steele (wOw Cruiserweight Champion) and Eric Gracie v. HeartBurnKid and B-Boy (UPW Lightweight Champion).
According to the announcers, if the champion gets pinned, the one who gets the pinfall will get a shot next week at the Cruiserweight title- almost assuring Gary Steele gets pinned, and assuming B-Boy will do it, since HBK isn't a lightweight. Pretty much a straightforward match, until HBK and B-Boy collide in the ring, and Gary Steele actually gets a leglock submission on B-Boy, and I was totally wrong! Afterwards, HeartBurnKid and B-Boy had some words as they left the ring.
39, 83, 61
Joey Idol v. Tom Howard
This is apparently for the Transcontinental Title's number one contender...Gee, who do you think's going to get THAT? The crowd turns on Joey Idol as being a "carpetbagger", apparently forgetting he also does frequent work for West Coast federations, much more than for wOw. Pretty decent matchup for the most part, as the two put on a nice show. Frequent Indy Applause Stances failed the match's pace. Finally, after a little bit, Nova came to the ring and attacked Idol, allowing Tom Howard to get the Split-Legged Moonsault for the win! After this, Howard and Nova beat down Joey Idol.
55, 80, 67
(wOw v. UPW Heavyweight) Dave Menne v. Samoa Joe
Fairly decent matchup for the two's titles. Both were somewhat well-matched, as the West Coast fans learned the joys of a shootfighter who COULD be converted to pro wrestling standards. Fairly straightforward matchup. Menne Irish-whipped Samoa Joe into referee Danny Daniels, which led to some attempts to choke out the UPW champ. Suddenly, Sonny Siaki came to the ring and attacked Dave Menne, causing Samoa Joe to get a chance to choke Menne out! The ref came to as Menne tapped out, causing him to give the win to Samoa Joe! The fans went wild as Samoa Joe held up the UPW and wOw Titles...until Andy Coyne came to the ring and pointed out to Daniels that Siaki interfered, causing the decision to be reversed! The crowd booed Coyne as Menne took back the Heavyweight title!
67, 85, 76
62
