Dear Sir Betty,

Most likely you know not who I am, but I gaze upon your steely visage nigh every day. As I pass the threshold of this fine castle, I see you standing tireless guard, and I know beyond doubt how steadfast and true a knight you are. Thus, upon my discovery that I have need of a loyal knight, you sprung into my thoughts swift as the swallow flies. I must have someone guard my missives to my comrade, Cedric Diggory, from the depravations of the foul hordes, and equally his missives to me. Will you accept this task?

Signed,

Alexander Whitman.


Dear Cedric,

That may be the strangest letter I have ever written. EVER.

Alex


Dear Alex,

Yeah, weird, but it's set now, right? So we can use Betty to deliver them, and not have to worry about "the depravations of the foul hordes", and all that? Meet me at the library today right after lunch and tell me how it's going to work; I'm tired of getting owl feathers in my orange juice.

You friend,
Cedric


Dear Diary,

Alex was absolutely horrible to Marietta today in potions! She was trying to be friendly, chatting with him about how awful Snape is and discussing the project—which is, after all, a perfectly normal thing to do—and Alex just out of the blue snapped at her, saying if she said one more word he'd pour horrible things on her, that would turn her hair blue and all sorts of things! I mean, granted, potions isn't as good a grousing point with him because he actually expects to be good at it, and Marietta does have a somewhat negative view of the world, but still, that was no call to just turn on her like that. She was just being friendly!

Oh, and speaking of Alex, I saw the strangest thing today! He was walking towards the front door on our way out to Herbology—which is normal—and then he stopped. It wasn't the sort of stop you do when you've forgotten something, either; it was more the sort of stop you make when you're hoping no one's going to notice you stopping. Anyway, he walked over to this GIANT suit of armor that guards the door, and he hands it this rolled up sheet of parchment! And the armor took it, just like that! Alex walked back and joined the rest of us, but I couldn't help but notice that the armor bowed to him. Just a little…

I hope he's not doing anything that's going to get us in trouble again.

Cho


A Letter To Myself To Facilitate the Recollection of Events Which Have Occupied My Day.

Unto Myself,
I have received my first trust from the Brave Comrade Whitman, who Mother says is a highly eligible gentleman, and who Sister says is cute. It was handed to me at the ninth hour of the day, and my trust lasted until the hour of Vespers, at which point Brave Comrade Whitman's companion, Cedric the Clever, came to obtain his correspondence. I was informed that my conduct had been exemplary, and was congratulated on my faithful service. I must remember to inform my sister that Cedric the Clever is much hotter than Brave Comrade Whitman.

From Myself (Betty)


Cedric,

Well, today has certainly been interesting. I wish we could sit at different house tables during meals; I wish I could be around a true friend for a change. Nothing bad happened, not really, but yesterday in Potions I was paired up with another girl in our class, Marietta
something-or-other. Well, she spent the entire time going on about how awful the entire process was, getting all squeamish and girly whenever she had to touch any of the ingredients and worrying about making a mess of her robes and having them shrink up if anything splashed on her by mistake. I finally snapped and told her that would be the best she could hope for if she didn't help me make sure the shrinking solution didn't turn out just right, and she got all huffy and almost knocked over my ink with all her dramatic waving...ugh. It was SO distracting. I'm amazed we managed to finish the thing without getting yelled at by Professor Snape!
Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, Marietta went off and told everyone I had threatened her during class and now Cho's being huffy, too. Do girls always act like this? I don't get why everyone likes them so much if they do.

Cho seemed less angry with me today, but I'm still trying to keep a distance from her just in case. On the plus side, I think I saw those two you were talking about a few days ago, the Weasley twins? I was on my way to the library when I saw Filch yelling and chasing after some weird purple flying things showering green sparks all over the floor. I think they might have been some of the new Filibuster Fireworks, but you know my parents... they'd never let me get any. Well, as he went by I heard some noise from somewhere, and a minute later these boys snuck out ofyou'll never guessthe girls' washroom! I wonder how they got in there without anyone noticing? Anyway, they were these identical twins with red hair, so I assumed that's who they were. I wonder if they know where I could get myself some of those flying purple things? They were pretty neat.

I should probably get back to my homework...I'd like to get it out of the way so the rest of my weekend is free. Could I maybe come see you sometime soon? It might be fun.

Alex


Dear Diary,

I'm beginning to get the sneaking suspicion that Betty has ulterior motives in delivering Alex and my letters. I'm not sure why...just call it a hunch I suppose. But I'd swear I can feel eyes following me as I leave after a note exchange, if suits of armor had eyes.

I really should warn Alex about the Weasley twins. They're nice and all, and pretty funny most of the time, but knowing Alex he'll probably start trying to be more like them the more he finds out and I don't want him getting expelled. Maybe I can pacify him for a bit with something from Hogsmeade over October. I'm sure there's SOMETHING I can find at Zonko's to keep him occupied and out of trouble. Alex is a smart kid, but not very practical most of the time.

Quidditch practice is finally getting serious. We've been practicing like crazy for the upcoming match with Gryffindor, and things are finally starting to come together. I was reading up on some faster dive techniques and whatnot, and I'm getting a bit faster at finding the Snitch. I think we've got a pretty good chance at winning this game. I hope we do...it'd be great if we took home the Quidditch Cup this year, then someone else might finally have a shot at beating out Slytherin from the House Cup. Alex says he'll be there cheering for me, and that his friends from Ravenclaw will be, too. I don't know how many of them will actually do that, most Ravenclaws seem to look down on Hufflepuff (though to be fair, most Ravenclaws look down on EVERYONE but themselves), but it's nice of
him to say anyway.

That's it for now. I should go write something to Alex. Time to brave Betty and her nonexistent eyes.

Cedric


A Letter To Myself To Facilitate the Recollection of Events Which Have Occupied My Day.

Unto Myself,
I informed Sister that Brave Comrade Whitman, fair though he be, is but the callowest lad compared to Cedric the Clever. Sister disagreed—indeed, she came near to challenging me in defense of Brave Comrade Whitman, though I did my best to assure her that my claim, far from diminishing Brave Comrade Whitman, rather was great testament to the handsomeness of face and form esp. buttocks of Cedric the Clever.

From Myself (Betty)


Alex,

I have no idea what those purple sparking things were, but I wouldn't recommend asking Fred or George about them. Someone might overhear and then you'd be in a lot of trouble. How about I just see if I can't find
you some myself, if you promise not to use them inside the castle?

Don't worry too much about the girls in your House...it's still early in the year. I'm sure you'll get your rhythm soon and start making even more friends. You're good at that. Some advice, though: don't do what you did around me the first time we had a fight, where you stopped speaking English around me until I apologized. It's not very nice, it's annoying, and while I know your father's an ambassador for the Ministry of Magic and you travel a lot, it might seem snobbish to someone who doesn't. Watch that, just in case.

Cedric


Dear Diary,

I don't know what's going on, but Alex stopped by the suit of armor again today. It gave him something, and now he's speaking English again to me AND Marietta.

Cho


A Letter To Myself To Facilitate the Recollection of Events Which Have
Occupied My Day.

Unto Myself:
Today was a day of great failure.

I was standing guard—indeed, as is my duty and my privilege, at the very entrance to this fine and noble castle of Hogwarts—when I was approached, nay, accosted, by that very witch I had seen in the company of Brave Comrade Whitman. She was fair in form, yet strange, with almond eyes of a strange-lidded nature, and skin of a pale, yet vulnerably fleshy thinness. Her hair was thick and dark, reaching great lengths, with shadowy depths with which to lure the unwary man. (Although probably not quite yet, as her tender years leave her bosom unheaving.) Upon reaching me, she spoke, her voice soft and hesitant, low and melodious, even as the ancient sirens must have spoken. "Uh, Sir? Mr. Armor?" she uttered, in dulcet tones no doubt intended to beguile.

Naturally, as is my charge, I remained silent, though in the face of such beauty it was admittedly difficult not to scratch her eyes out, daring to come near Brave Comrade Whitman, the noble—

To continue.

"Look, Mr. Armor, I want to know what you've been giving and taking from Alex! Every time he comes near you he acts weird. The first time he stopped speaking English to my friends and I! I like Alex a lot—he's a nice person to have as a friend. But sometimes he has these… ideas, ideas that aren't very good. I need to know he's not using you to
complete one of those bad ideas."

Well, I need not state that my ire rose swiftly! As if I, with the iron of fifty helms in my cuirass, would ever partake in something dishonorable! "Bad ideas!" As if that could be aught but another phrase for Temptation! It was with gnashing teeth that I maintained my silence!

The Lovely Vision of a Maiden turned away, stymied, but alas! She murmured as she turned, "He's lost enough points for Ravenclaw already."

My ire swift turned to grief, and in my grief I cried aloud: "Ah, no! He mustn't be!" And the Lovely Vision swiftly fled in shock.

I have the iron of fifty helms in my cuirass, but they are all Gryffindor helms! If he had been a Hufflepuff, as, indeed, I know Cedric the Clever to be, I might have been able to overlook it, but no. Sister shall be bitterly disappointed to know that he will never become a suit to match hers. Yet, though I know it shall pain her greatly, I cannot conceal
this fact from her. I had thought, after I told Sister that Cedric the Clever had a finer ass than Brave Comrade Whitman, that she had nigh dented my greaves, but that was nothing in the face of this. Alas, the nigh is gone, and tonight I visit the Armory to begin the humiliated process of having the damage hammered out.

From Myself (Betty)


Dear Diary,

You won't believe what I saw today! The statue—she talked! I went up to talk to her—which I know sounds like I already knew she could speak, but I didn't! I thought she would make some sort of sign if she heard me, but she was still. Then I turned, thinking she wouldn't respond to me, and all of a sudden she cried out "No! He mustn't be!" I think she must have meant "He mustn't be a Ravenclaw," although what she has against my House I'm sure I don't know.

But the strangest part was by far the voice the suit of armor cried out in. I'd swear that armor is female, based on the voice! I mean, it didn't look like a girl, but the voice was definitely a girl's voice. I wonder if all the suits of armor in the school are girls, or just that one? Or is it really a girl at all?

Cho


Cedric,

Are you sure I can't just ask the twins themselves? They seem friendly enough...but maybe you're right. You do know more about the way things work here than me. Thank you for saying you'll try to find some of those purple things in Hogsmeade for me, though! When is the next Hogsmeade weekend, anyway? I should give you some of my spending money so you don't have to pay for them yourself. I can pay back the difference later.

And I am NOT that predictable when it comes to fights! I only spoke Spanish to Cho and Marietta, which plenty of people understand, I still used English in class, so there. Who's all high and mighty now?

Oh, interesting side note: Betty has been friendlier than normal to me lately, almost as if she's trying to make up for something. I don't know what that might be, but I'm glad anyway. I was beginning to get the impression that she didn't really care for me on occasion, though I do like how she addresses me. It's so...I think I'll steal one of Cho's words, it's so quaint. I rather like it. At any rate, I'm so glad you found Betty. She's a wonderful...er, would I say person? Or what? Wonderful, anyway, and this whole note escapade is like a grand adventure. It almost makes up for the fact that I can't do much of anything fun until people forget about the flying incident a little bit more.

Well, let me know when the next Hogsmeade trip will be!

Alex


Alex,

The next trip to Hogsmeade is in two weeks. Don't worry about paying me, think of it as my gift to you. But you have to promise not to use those things indoors, otherwise I won't give them to you at all. And I suppose Spanish is better than when you went off in Arabic or Persian or whatever it was for a week. People here might actually understand you.

As for Betty, I'd just say go with it. We don't really know what goes on in the heads of any of the suits of armor. It's probably something to do with chivalry or some behavioral wrong, and all will be back to normal soon enough.

Don't forget to come to the Quidditch match this weekend! I expect to hear you cheering louder than everyone else. And don't even point out that it's not possible for you to yell that loudly... I've heard you at the World Cup before screaming louder than any of the other English sides.

Cedric


Cedric,

You're no fun at all sometimes. And it was Farsi, not Persian.

Good luck with the game,

Alex


Dear Mother,

School continues to go very, very well. My grades so far have been excellent, top marks in nearly everything, and I've made a few more friends since last I wrote. The only class that still gives me trouble is Potions, but you know how I feel about those anyway. Besides, Professor Snape really is a horrible man. I absolutely despise him, and most of my friends feel the same way. It's so difficult to work with a teacher you dislike, Mother, don't you think? I'm sure you had a few of them!

As well as things are going, though, I'm beginning to feel more homesick. My friends here are wonderful and very fun to be around, but they're nothing compared with some of the ones from home. I miss them, and you and Father very much. I had another fight with Alex a few days ago and while I still think he started it, it still upset me. I wished I could have gone home to be with you then. You would've made everything seem better.

The holidays are approaching. I'm very excited to see how Hogwarts castle decorates itself. I've heard such good stories about it, and the pictures in Hogwarts: A History are so beautiful. You've seen the decoration before, are they that beautiful up close as well? I hope so!

Speaking of the holidays, what is everyone doing for Christmas this year? Are you going to travel like you were thinking about earlier? Will you get a chance to visit Grandma and Grandpa maybe? It's going to be so hard celebrating without everyone else around. Oh, do you know how I can get your presents to you and everyone else? I can't imagine the owls carrying that many packages, but I can't think how else to get them to you!

Tomorrow is the first Quidditch match of the season. It's Slytherin versus Hufflepuff. The House is pretty divided over the match; several people arebetting on Slytherin because of the stereotype that all Hufflepuffs are stupid, but I'm on the side of Hufflepuff myself. Most of the third and fourth years seem to be, too, and all but two of the girls in my year as well as Alex. I just don't want Slytherin to win. Everyone I've met so far from there has been so cruel and petty. I'd much rather cheer for the loyal ones, even if they aren't always the smartest people out there. And besides, I know all Hufflepuffs can't be stupid because of that friend of Alex's, Cedric. He's the Seeker for the Hufflepuff team, and I've told you how handsome and smart is already. I'll certainly be cheering for him!

Well, it's getting late and I should rest tonight so I can get an early start on homework in the morning. I miss you and Father so very, very much, and love you both.

Your loving daughter,

Cho


Dear Sir,

We appreciate your swift compliance with us in this matter. The supplies you have ordered for us were sufficient in quantity for our experiment to be successfully completed! As a result we wish to order three more gallons of your highest-quality Armadillo Bile and a twentieth of an ounce of powdered Romanian Longhorn Dragon horns. Additionally, we request a pound of the sulfur compound we specified last time; your procurement of said item was exceptionally swift, and the version of it you procured was quite fine.

We appreciate your support of our young business. Your payment will arrive by owl within the week.

Sincerely,

Fred and George Weasley

Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Inc.