Janet waved to the guard on duty as she walked to her car. After days of exhaustion, she would finally be able to unwind and begin to process everything that had happened to her.

She knew that working would no longer be easy. Not only would she have to bury her feelings that had unexpectedly surfaced, she would have to face him everyday and pretend nothing had ever happened.

Nothing had happened, she reminded herself. While the aliens were copies of Daniel in some way, they also weren't Daniel. Logically, she should be able to separate the difference.

Then why couldn't she?

Sighing, she removed her car keys when she finally caught sight of her vehicle in the lot. The reality was that she couldn't separate them. His face, his mannerisms—they all blurred into Daniel. She no longer held the ability to deny her feelings; she could no longer pretend.

I feel what he feels…

Did Daniel really feel that way? Did it even make a difference? Even if he had feelings for her…it was just too silly of an idea to even entertain.

Mumbling under her breath and considering the possibility of a transfer, Janet opened the car door and fell into the driver's seat.

"Something wrong?"

Janet took a deep breath, regaining her composure before she turned to smile at Daniel. "Nothing. I'm just tired. " She started the engine. "You just gave us quite the scare for awhile."

"Yeah, well, sorry about that."

She forced a smile, and before she realized what she was doing, she placed her hand on his knee. "Nothing to worry about. You always seem to pull through in the end." When she noticed his eyes had softened, his gaze falling down to her hand, she quickly withdrew and attempted a joke instead. "I'm starting to think you have a whole stash of clones hidden that are doing your dirty work."

He smiled, his gaze flickering between her face and her hand. "Yeah. Who knows what they could be up to."

Janet shot him a dirty look, feeling her cheeks reddening beyond control. Daniel, bless him, didn't seem to have a clue what had affected her, and only frowned with worry.

She sighed. Did he realize how difficult he was making things for her?

"Doesn't Colonel O'Neill or Sam usually take you home after an off-world mishap?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

She caught him shrugging as she shifted the car into drive. "Usually. Sam had some lab work she needed to finish and Jack had to see Hammond about off-world security protocol or something. They weren't expecting me to be released so soon," he said with a chuckle. "I'm starting to think the infirmary is displacing my apartment for home."

She grinned, thankful her smile was hidden by the darkness of the night. "You're always welcome. Though, the point is for me to see less of you, not more of you."

She was sure she felt his eyes on her. "Trying to get rid of me?"

If only you knew…"No," she said quietly. "I didn't mean it that way."

He said nothing to that.

The majority of their drive remained oddly quiet. She'd driven Daniel home before, and even when he was at his worst he usually made for an interesting ride.

Not tonight. Strangely, Daniel seemed preoccupied, more so than normal, which prevented him from holding a decent conversation with her. She'd grown fond of his little chats with her, from the most mundane things like the weather, to more engrossing topics like his research. Once, on the way back to his apartment, they'd gotten into an in-depth discussion about international politics and how that related to her medical career. She'd never felt so loved and appreciated in all her life.

Now, those feelings had taken on tones that she had tried to ignore. She'd forever have these warm but tainted memories, unable to do anything about them.

She decided that thinking about something new would help.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she asked him, stopping at a red light. "You're very quiet tonight."

He nodded, the red light reflecting off his glasses while giving his face a pinkish glow. "It's just a lot to take in," he told her. "I never really had the chance to talk to them." Sighing, he shifted in his seat, playing with books in his lap. "Now I'll never see them again."

Janet started to reach out her hand to comfort him, but cursed herself when the light turned green. Stepping on the gas, she continued on her way.

Their ride was silent again after that, the humming of the engine the only thing keeping her sane. When she didn't have a passenger to talk to, she would normally turn on the radio, but with Daniel's state of mind and mood, she thought better of it. Besides, she had the distinct impression that he had unfinished business, or was trying to tell her something, but didn't know how.

Though, when she caught him gazing listlessly out the car window, she'd had enough. She pulled over to the side of the road.

Frowning, he sat up and looked around. That had gotten his attention.

"If there is something wrong? Something that you haven't told me…" Her voice trailed off as she snapped on the overhead light.

Daniel winced, shifting to face her. "What?"

"Side-effects. Or something else." Her gaze remained hard and fixed. "You did come in contact with an alien substance. We were pretty sure you were in the clear, but if you're keeping important facts from me—"

He chuckled, that soft shy laugh of his, and Janet had to admit it was good to hear it again, even if he was driving her insane. "No, I'm really fine. Just…" He became serious, ducking his head, before he did an about-face, smiling at her again. "Though, I still think it's amusing that out of everything in the galaxy I choose to be allergic to…"

She did have to smile at that thought. "Trouble just always seems to find you, doesn't it Doctor Jackson?"

"Seems like it," he said quietly. "It's a good thing I always can count on you to be there for me…"

She nodded, feeling her cheeks grow hot. Gently, she rubbed his arm.

"You're always there, Janet."

She stopped, lowering her hand and stared at him. She must be imagining things because she could have sworn he was studying her, not like he always had, but in a different light, as if a new layer of himself had been exposed to the surface. There was a deeper element of kindness and compassion swirling in his eyes.

Heart thumping hard, she resisted the urge to touch him, and quickly started the car. Her sense of urgency only increased when she saw a certain notebook in his lap.

Oh no, she thought. She believed that she had been successful in avoiding that topic since the first time he'd found the pad. They could not get to his apartment fast enough.

What was going on? Had the real Daniel been sent through the Gate and the other one left behind? He wouldn't do that, would he? If not, what was the matter with Daniel?

In no time, they were stopped in front of his apartment. Nervous, chastising herself for feeling like a schoolgirl, Janet pointed to the building. "We're here," she told him.

He nodded, almost bowing his head. "I see it."

"You don't sound too happy," she said softly. She motioned with her hand to the door. "Why don't we get you settled and—"

"He told me."

Janet froze. "Told you? Who told you what?"

Carefully, Daniel dug into one of the books he was carrying, and revealed a small folded piece of paper. Unwrapping it slowly, he studied it for a minute before handing it to her.

"Before he left, he wrote that. I found it before we left the infirmary."

Puzzled, Janet accepted the note and skimmed over it, trying to figure out what Daniel could be talking about. She hadn't gotten half way through the first line when she understood.

Cold, warm, embarrassed and grateful—she felt all these things without any idea how to mask them. Or if she wanted to hide them.

"I guess he wanted me to know what happened between the two of you." Daniel's voice was quiet and hollow. "I don't know what to think."

"No, Daniel, no," she said in her most courageous voice. "You don't have to feel ashamed or sorry. He wasn't you." She held up the note and shook it twice for emphasis. "The two of you are different people. You don't have to excuse yourself for what he did."

"Are we? Really. Are we really that different?" he asked her, his eyes filling with compassion. "Isn't he supposed to be a reflection of a part of me?"

Janet looked down, shaking her head. She didn't know. Theoretically, yes, but she just didn't know. "I don't know what to tell you," she said to him, biting back the hurt she was feeling. Could he be that disgusted over the other's feelings? About her? "Even if you share the same base, you're still two different people who make different decisions."

"But which is the right decision?"

Hearing a hint of uncertainty in his voice, she finally faced him, surprised to see just how deeply his emotions were running. "What do you mean?"

He gave a short nervous laugh, bring one hand to fiddle with his glasses and the other to scratch at the back of his head. "I don't know whether I want to punch him for even trying anything like that," he said before dropping his voice and sharpening his focus, "or to be jealous that he had the chance and not me."

Stunned, Janet opened her mouth to respond, but couldn't find the words. Speechless. She found herself speechless again. He couldn't possibly mean…

"I have those feelings, too," he said softly. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "I'm so sorry."

Without hesitation, she leaned over and placed her hand on his cheek, stroking it gently. "Don't be sorry."

With an anxious sigh, he leaned into her hand. "I haven't been able to…I can't…"

Sha're. It was Sha're. Janet understood. He was keeping the memory of his wife alive and strong, and remained faithful to her, even now months after her death.

While part of her rebelled at the idea, and wanted him to move past his grief and open himself to new experiences, the other part of her found she loved him even more for it, admiring his loyalty and faithfulness for someone he loved so deeply. She could never meddle or deny Daniel of his deep connection to his wife, whether she was dead or alive.

She could only hope to find that love for herself one day.

Sadly, she withdrew her hand and began to move away. As much as her body screamed at her to stay connected to him, to embrace him and allow herself to finally let go, she knew she just couldn't burden him with her thoughts and emotions.

But Daniel grabbed her hand, bringing it back towards him, and placed it firmly on his heart.

"Jack told me it would take some time for me to start to heal, and start to feel again. I didn't believe him," Daniel told her, baring his soul to her, the pure sincerity and honesty shining in his eyes. "I don't want to forget her…but there's something I can't deny…here." He squeezed her hand tighter. "Right here."

"You never have to forget her, Daniel," Janet said bringing her other hand up to touch his hair. "She'll always be there with you. I won't get in the way of that."

Daniel nodded, taking her other hand and pressing it to his temple. "I know. I know that. But I also know she would want me to be happy. I would want the same for her." He leaned a little closer, his lips parting, the longing burning in his eyes. "Please…"

Without another word, Daniel leaned forward, kissing her softly on the lips. It was unexpected, but heavenly, his lips possessing the power of sweet innocence drizzled with the softest caress. It was everything and more, surpassing the kiss she had shared with the other Daniel, while maintaining the same strong essence.

She pulled away despite how very right it felt.

"I can't," she breathed, feeling like she was crumbling from the weight of her pain and longing. "I can't do this to you."

He smiled sheepishly, bringing her closer. "You already have."

She sniffled, no longer able to hold back her feelings for him, finding herself collapsing into his arms. He held her, and they sat there, in her car, for the longest time, just enjoying each other's embrace in the silent darkness of a moonless night.

"Janet…Please understand," he finally said, running his hands through her hair. "I just want to go slow." "Please. Be patient with me."

He was with her. That was all that mattered. Time was no concern to her; if anything time was on their side, as evidenced by their past friendship together.

"As long as it takes," she whispered in his ear, holding him tightly, meaning every word she said. "I'll stay here as long as it takes."

The End


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