Chapter 5

After warding off the vicious what-the-hell-do-you-think-you're-doing glares from Adam and Cee Cee, and the many jealous sneers of practically all the girls around the circle, I reluctantly followed Paul away from the campfire, dragging my feet along the way. It's not like I actually had a choice. He had once again managed to manipulate me into doing what he wanted by playing the very old and very tiresome, 'I'm going to exorcise your boyfriend,' card. He was the master of coercion and he knew it.

The silence of the night seemed to settle upon us as I trudged morosely towards a nest of trees, quite a bit away from the obnoxious off-key singing coming from the light behind us.

Suddenly Paul stopped and turned around, practically staring a hole into my face with those damned blue eyes of his. All that could be heard now was a faint chirping of crickets and unfortunately, the sound of my breath coming out in short puffs of air. How does he always do this to me? I made a mental note to ask him for future Jesse-seducing purposes.

"So listen, Suze," he began, crossing his arms and leaning against a tree. I was almost startled to see a pretty serious expression plastered on his face as he kept eye-contact with me. So he wanted to talk, did he? Okay, I'll talk,

"You know what? I am so sick and tired of your stupid little mind games, Paul! You think you can just blackmail me into doing whatever you ask and ok, I'll admit, I fully agreed to the shifter lessons, but you've gone too far today. I don't want to be any closer to you than I have to and just so you know, the only reason I'm here right now is because of Jesse. I really lo – uh – care about him. A lot. And there's nothing you can do about that because I hate you. So get over it."

I inhaled sharply after finishing my tirade and I would have continued to give it to him if he hadn't put up a hand to stop me – oh, and if he didn't suddenly look so pained.

I stood defiantly with my hands on my hips, wishing with every fiber of my being I could be somewhere else. Paul was making this camping trip so much harder than it already was but I couldn't help think that I might have gone too far. Even though it's not like he hasn't heard any of that before.

"God, Suze, assume the worst, why don't you. I only asked you to come here so I could formally apologize, you know, for everything."

This was so un-Paul-like that I actually gasped and took a step back. He continued to talk but everything around me seemed to freeze and his words didn't quite reach me. All I could hear was, Paul Slater, sorry, Paul Slater, sorry, two words I would never dream to be in the same sentence.

When I finally got over the initial shock of his obvious vocabulary glitch, I caught the final piece of his speech,

"-and I realize that you two are together now, but I mean, c'mon Suze, what can he give you that I can't?"

This question was so innocently asked that he had me floored. Truth was, there wasn't really anything Jesse could offer me physically. This is where Paul blatantly had the upper hand. But where the relationship was concerned, Jesse schooled Paul in so many more ways than one. Not to mention he hasn't tried to kill me… unlike someone I knew.

However, in a sudden rush of kindness, I neglected to share these thoughts with him. Instead I settled for my ever-so-cool,

"What?" Oh yeah. I can so tell why he wants me.

Paul just rolled his eyes and looked suddenly uncomfortable.

"Think about it, Suze. I mean, he's a ghost for God's sake. He can't take you out anywhere or have you over for dinner. Even if he had money his pants are so tight he'd never be able to put it anywhere."

I made a face and this obvious stab at Jesse's fashion sense – or lack thereof. I happened to think they were rather sexy… only on him, of course. I took umbrage at his first comment.

"I just can't believe you," I huffed, rubbing my arms to shield them from the cool night air. It didn't click until now just how far out we'd actually come from everyone else. Sister Ernestine was not going to be happy. Neither, I couldn't help think, would Kelly Prescott. "Do you actually think that I would be so shallow as to care about all of that stuff? I mean, sure, there are a few problems that might arise but it's not like I can't handle it! First of all, Jesse is-" I broke off mid-sentence, choking on my words.

What was I doing? I do not need to explain my love life.

I shook my head and scoffed at my own lunacy. Since when do I confide in Paul Slater?

"Jesse is what?" Paul smirked, taking his hands out of his pocket and walking slowly towards me. I stepped away out of his reach until my back was pressed against the cool hard ridges of a tree. Paul placed both of his arms on either side of my face, pinioning me in between. He really was so predictable.

The only thing I couldn't have foreseen was my heart beginning to pound almost deafeningly against my rib cage. The last time I had been this close to him I had been asleep, hardly a romantic setting, considering I'm pretty sure I drool or something equally as heinous.

Paul's warm breath was welcomed against my face as his smiled to himself, like he could hear all of the weird things my body was starting to do.

"You know," he whispered, "we're meant for each other, Susannah Simon. And the sooner you realize it, the better."

And with that, he kissed me. As per usual, on the lips.

You know, I never get this much action at home. It always has to be at some loser location, not to mention it's always with the wrong person. Not that there is anything wrong with Paul. Au contraire. His kisses were constantly deep and passionate and delivered, I'm afraid to say, hungrily. His tongue was pressing forcefully against my lips, aching to get into my mouth. I have no qualms about receiving such a compliment but there is definitely a place and time for everything… and this was not right. Not right at all.

I would really love to say that while Paul was kissing me I kept my eyes wide open and was imagining myself throwing up, but that was definitely not how it went down. I did what a girl in love with one man but finds herself in another's embrace should never be caught dead doing:

I moaned.

I hate myself. The way I see it, somebody up there is out to get me. I figure it's the same person handing out those damned mediator badges.

Someone behind Paul cleared their throat. Someone distinctly masculine.

I tore my swollen lips away from Paul's and tried to push him off me with my hands. He simply groaned and rested his forehead on my shoulder.

"Gerroff!" I ended up mumbling. With a longing look he took most of his body weight off of me and wheeled himself around the face the source of the voice.

Tad's aura light was shining brightly among the darkness, sending an eerie luminance throughout the heavy brush of trees.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said. He looked at the ground and shuffled his feet in an embarrassed manner. We both knew it. I was a dead woman. Tad could inform Jesse of what he'd just witnessed faster than I would have a chance to explain. Not that I could, I realized much to my chagrin.

"You weren't interrupting anything," I gushed, walking quickly towards him and away from Paul. "Um, so what's up?"

Tad managed to get over his fascination with the dirt beneath him and looked up at me, his eyes shining with purpose,

"I need you to exorcise me."

I reeled back in shock.

"No way, Tad! That's only as a last resort. We still have time to figure out why you're still hanging around, you know."

Tad shook his head in intense disagreement.

"I've been thinking it over, Suze. There's no reason why I shouldn't be in heaven right now."

My alarm deepened, and not because he was so certain that he would go to heaven. It was because for the first time since we've met, he knew my real name.

Weird.

Anyways, amidst my surprise, I noticed the tinge of desperation in his voice and felt a pang of sympathy for the guy. He really didn't want to be here anymore and I couldn't blame him. Hanging around while other live their lives isn't exactly a night at the Roxbury. I only hoped Jesse didn't feel as Tad did.

I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry," I said, "We'll find a reason. You just have to kind of retrace your steps the day you died."

I could practically feel Paul rolling his eyes behind me and with two strides he walked up to Tad and said,

"Don't worry pal, I can get you home in no time," and before I could so much as smack him around a bit, Paul tugged Tad away from me and with his coy grin, they disappeared. Well actually, it was more like Tad disappeared and Paul just fell into an unconscious heap.

"Idiot!" I couldn't help but yell as I ran over to his lifeless body. He was going to bring Tad to the Shadowland before he could complete his unfinished business. That was just so…so Paul-like.

Without so much as a second thought, I knew what I had to do. I closed my eyes and pictured the ceaseless hallway of doors and when I opened them, I was there. The same room I'd had so many nightmares about. The same fog billowing around my ankles.

And my Gladiator friend was on my like a wet cloth.

"You," he pointed at me with his lance thingy, "do not belong here."

"Yeah, yeah," I grunted irritably and pushed him aside. Shoving all my fears to the back of my mind, I began to run down the long corridor, screaming both of their names. I could have been running on the spot for all it mattered because the same doors kept passing me by.

After about the seventh time of calling out the most spiteful Paul-hating words possible, I finally caught view of his curly dark hair and my one-time boyfriend in front of him. Paul was standing nonchalantly with his arms crossed and coaxing Tad at the door.

And he was turning the doorknob.

"No, Tad, don't listen to him!" I screamed running full speed towards him. I was getting ready to tackle him to the ground - Tad, that is, not Paul – but just as I dived at his body, the door had opened a crack and with a brilliant flash of white light Tad Beaumont was sucked into the door. I, on the other hand, went flying face first onto the floor.

Picking myself up, I turned around to face Paul who was clapping mockingly.

"That was an Oscar-winning performance, Susie," he drawled and finally knelt down beside me.

My rage returned and washed away my insignificant embarrassment from my face-plant. Paul Slater was so going to die. I was going to see to it.

"You jerk!" I screeched, only I didn't say jerk. I scrambled to my feet and stood so I could stare down at him. I was contemplating which was better –kneeing him repeatedly in the groin or smashing his face in- when he stood up and began to walk, tut-tutting me as he stepped. I am not even kidding. He turned his back on me.

"Don't," I began, my fury practically eminating off of me, "you walk away from me, Paul Slater. Tad needed us to do something for him before he could rest peacefully but - but you just took him away before he had a chance!" My whole body was shaking so much that I struggled to get the words out. As much as I wanted to leave the place that had plagued my dreams, I figured it could wait. I wanted to make sure that Paul had much more than a bad headache when he returned to his body.

Gradually, he turned around.

"You're too much of a goodie-goodie, Suze," he chided, completely oblivious of how much of a dead man he was. "You should be happy because I did you a favor. I got rid of another pesky ghost so you don't have to worry about it."

I was imagining taking Gladiator-man's spike thing and using it as a spit to roast Paul's body over a fire.

"And plus," he continued, his all-knowing smirk returning once again, "I got you to return to the one place you-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence because I rushed at him and plowed my fist into his gut. He doubled over gasping for breath and I watched him pleasantly. Hah, I couldn't help smile, feel my wrath.

Just as I was about to smash up his perfect face, he grabbed my wrist and closed his eyes. In an instant I was jammed back into my body, the cold air of the forest sweeping over me.

I tried to open my eyes but the welcoming headache seemed to be splitting my head apart, ripping my eyes out along with it. I writhed in pain on the floor, my whole body convulsing as though a knife were twisting my insides. Then I remembered what Dr. Slaski had told me that day at the cannoli stand: Sure, you have the ability. But it'll kill you. Stay away from the Shadow world. If this is what death was like, I just wished it would hurry up and kill me because just as I was emptying out what little remained in my stomache, I could of sworn I heard a girl's voice saying, "It'll be okay, Suze."

When I finally got the strength to open my eyes, I saw Cee Cee hovering over me, her face contorted with concern. Whoa. Talk about déjà vu.

"Suze? Oh my God, thank you!" she cried, rubbing my back comfortingly, "When you didn't come back to the fire, I completely freaked! We went looking and then we found you and Paul unconscious on the ground." Her worried expression then changed into a serious secretive one. "Does this have to do with, you know, Jesse stuff?"

Um, hello? Did I look like I was in any condition to talk about 'Jesse stuff'? I think not.

My head was just beginning to clear up and I soon found that I was able to sit up and survey the area. Adam was leaning over Paul in same way that Cee Cee was over me, although he seemed to be having a little more trouble getting up than I did. Good, I couldn't help think but think. Suffer.

"Um, Suze?" Cee Cee gave me a little shake.

Might I add that this is not the best thing to do to someone who has just suffered a massive migraine? Cee Cee apparently missed that memo.

"It's just," I paused to choose my words carefully, "that I don't want you two saying anything to anyone, okay? We're both fine and we don't need doctors or anything…" I drifted off when she shook her head and her large violet eyes widened.

"I'm not so sure, you too looked unconscious! We should probably get you to Sister Ernestine." Cee Cee stood up meaningfully but at the same time my arm shot out and I was practically digging my nails into her white arm.

"Don't," I said through clenched teeth, "tell anyone. We're fine."

Cee Cee obviously got the message that my bitch quotient was supremely high and that I wasn't one to be fooled with at the moment.

I stood up quickly and noticed that beside me Paul was doing the same. I was still pretty pissed at him for what he did to Tad but I mean, c'mon, I didn't really want him to die. Yet.

"Killer headache," he grumbled with a wink. He brushed himself off as though he dropped unconscious everyday. Well, this is Paul Slater I'm talking about… maybe he does it for kicks? I hope I never find out.

The temperature had dropped several degrees since I was last in the forest and the luminescent moon was already high in the sky, signaling a very late hour.

I guess time really does fly when you're in limbo.

I'm such a freak.

Cee Cee and Adam navigated both Paul and I out of the woods and towards our respective tents. There was no smoke coming from the fire pit so I guess it's safe to assume it had been put out a while ago. A stillness had befallen the circle of tents at the campsite as everyone was fast asleep.

I was fully allowing Cee Cee to steer me around. I didn't trust myself in such a disoriented state.

Paul, however, still managed to retain every shred of ignorance he had been blessed with.

"Goodnight, Susie. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

I was way too tired to even snap back at him but as Cee Cee helped me into my sleeping bag, one thing Paul had said had me practically lying rigid with fear.

I was pretty sure he was totally serious about those bed bugs.


The next morning I awoke to the sounds of the junior class of the Mission Academy chattering amiably amongst one another and someone poking me – rather painfully- on the cheek. I could see that the sky outside was downcast which didn't help my cause at all.

My head seemed to weigh more than Paul's ego did as I lifted it slightly to see who was forcing me awake.

Through squinted, heavy-lidded eyes I managed to say, "Whatchoodoin?" or something of the like.

Cee Cee looked down at me sympathetically.

"Sorry, but you have to get up. Sister Ernestine is doing attendance for breakfast. It's seven-thirty."

If ever I thought I would die, it would have been just then.

With a muffled scream I buried my head in my pillow. Cee Cee left me so that I could 'get ready'.

My 'getting ready' consisted of me throwing on a pair of my Abercrombie track shorts and a long sleeved Juicy Couture sweater of which I managed to nab for a quarter of the price. I didn't even want to think about how frizzy my hair was that morning so I settled for a ponytail. Hideous, I know, but it's better than resembling a yield sign.

Cautiously, I stepped out of the tent, fully aware of my train-wrecked appearance. I made my way over to the perfectly aligned benches that were set up in the center of the campsite.

Plopping myself down beside Adam with a grunt, I found a bread roll and shoved it into my mouth. As I chewed I glared evilly around the table as though daring anyone to make a comment about my zombie look or what I'd been up to the night before.

Finally, Adam spoke up,

"So Suze, today we're doing things like kayaking and stuff. Should be fun, right?" His too-cheery tone was enough to give the whole rouse away. Luckily, no one at our table had enough brain cells to catch on.

Cee Cee was scrutinizing me from behind the lenses of her glasses. I squirmed under her gaze as well as the equally disturbing one from Paul at the table beside ours.

I concentrated on my food while Sister E. called our names out. I kept silent except for my feeble "here" when Simon, Susannah was mentioned.

As the cloud in my head began to slowly lift, I found myself venturing a look around the breakfast table. I almost jumped for joy when I realized that I was not the only one looking particularly ghoulish with a ponytail. The majority of the girls, including Kelly, had their hair up and looked as though they made a desperate attempt at their make-up. Score one for Suze!

The morning's proceedings were pretty dull as we all walked sullenly in rows down to the water's edge where several rickety looking kayaks awaited us. The fact that we were still near the ocean was a plus but the whole strenuous labor part? Yeah, not so much.

"Each kayak can hold six students. Before you even ask you're going to be put into groups based on alphabetical order." This comment rewarded Sister Ernestine several groans and nasty names, many of which were coming from my eloquent brother, Brad.

She proceeded to pair the class into groups and several minutes later when almost all the groups were named, she turned her eyes on me.

"The last group consists of Prescott, Kelly; Rivers, Kyle; Simon, Susannah; Slater, Paul; Vickers, Jude and Webb, Cee Cee. That is all. Now you must stay close to the shoreline and know that there is to be no horseplay."

After I got over the initial glee of having Cee Cee in my group I realized she'd also called Paul and Kelly. Just my luck. You know, Father Dom was so right about me… I really am blessed. Hah right, and Brad Ackerman is a National Scholar.

We quickly stepped into the kayak and sat as we were instructed: the boys on the left and girls on the right. I sat quietly next to Paul who thankfully, said nothing. All the while I was cursing my father's last name for all it was worth. Although I did sort of pity Kelly who had to sit beside Kyle Rivers. Everyone knows he doesn't where deodorant and is probably the biggest dealer in our school.

As Jude Vickers pushed us off the shore so that we were in line with the other boats, I could have sworn Kelly was staring a hole in my back. After all, I totally stole her guy. Honestly though, she could have him for al I cared.

Once we were further into the water, everyone grabbed their paddles and began to stroke in succession. I, having no idea whatsoever to do, simply copied everyone else and moved the wooden stick thing around in a circle. Strangely though, it wasn't hitting the water when it came around.

The boat lurched forward with the combined strength of the men and I discovered much to my chagrin that I did not like kayaking at all. The boat wobbled constantly and I could hear the wood creaking beneath my feet. I could barely keep my balance, let alone paddle with the stupid oar. On one particular stroke the kayak shook menacingly and I gripped Cee Cee's bench in front of me in one frightened movement. My eyes flew open in shock as I looked around me and noticed everyone was laughing at my anxious convulsion.

Cee Cee gave me an encouraging smile while Paul grinned and leaned over towards me.

"It's okay, Suze. It's not like your life is in any sort of danger," he said, referring to our first encounter in the Shadow world.

I chose to say nothing as I put my hands firmly on the paddle and continued to stroke the air. Paul continued to watch me out of the corner his eye. Then he turned, his coy grin back on his face when he said,

"No, Suze, like this."

Which is when he put his arms around me and placed them over my hands on the paddle. His body was unnervingly warm against my freezing one as he turned the paddle so that the wide part was no longer parallel with the water. Then he moved my arms in the circular motion, connecting the paddle with the water. I became acutely aware of how he was rubbing himself against me and I shook him off forcefully.

"Um," I said conversationally, "Thanks."

He winked again. "Anytime." Only he specifically emphasized the any part.

I tried closing my eyes and visualizing myself elsewhere, perhaps with Jesse, but soon realized the swaying motion of the kayak made me dizzier. The wind on the water was significantly stronger and colder than in the mountains where we at least had the trees to shelter us. I didn't even have the satisfaction of catching some rays as we propelled along near the shoreline, following the boats ahead of us. We had dawdled quite a ways away from the others, I noticed, due to my lack of navigational and paddling skills.

Kelly scoffed behind me and mumbled something under her breath. Then she cleared her throat and killed the awkard silence.

"Did you hear," she said, a bitter edge to her voice, "about Tad Beaumont? He totally took this huge wipe out while on the water and hit his head on a rock. I can't believe he died."

I was probably one of the first people to know this fact but I wasn't about to brag about it to Kelly. I couldn't very well be all, "Oh yeah, Tad? His ghost came to visit and he told me the story but then Paul dragged him to limbo and forced him into one of those mysterious doors." That would have gone over so well. So I kept quiet, which was something I was becoming increasingly good at.

"Apparantly," she continued, "his hunting cabin or something was up here and he was on this part of the ocean when it happened. What makes it even worse was that –"

I never got to find out what made Tad's death so much worse because just then, a petrifying thunk arose from my side of the kayak and before I knew it, I was cluching Paul's arm to steady myself.

Everyone stopped rowing and as the kayak slowed and bobbed in the waves, I felt suddenly courageous and had a growing sense of curiousity. Warily we all gazed over the kayak just to the right of me and got an eyeful of what the waves were smashing up against our boat with every movement.

Kelly let out the most piercing scream ever known to mankind. Seriously, the birds were flying out of the trees as it tore through the air and seemed to linger, echoing throughout the mountain's heavily wooded areas.

Cee Cee opened her mouth and spoke in a strangled voice amidst Kelly's scream,

"I'm guessing they never found his body."

No kidding.

Thanks you all SO SO MUCH for reviewing and I'm absurdly sorry for taking so long but we went on vaycay! YAY! Anywho I hope you like this chappie… almost 9 pages for you all! Thanks for the support and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review this. I will forever be in your debt.

Luv,

Lyanne xoxo