Chapter 16. Pater familias.
It was too dark. The spaciousness of the room only added to the frightening quality that the room and its foreign nature gave off.
"Lance? Lance, you there? Lance?"
Lance shook the sleep off when he heard the familiar voice. He never slept deeply anyhow, but at recognizing the panic in the tone, Lance quickly got up and turned on all the lights.
He mentally kicked himself; he should have known better than to fall asleep like that. He should have made sure everyone else had gone to sleep before lying down. He should have done more than just checking up on them once before going to bed. He should have waited for everyone to fall asleep. But he had been tired, as the rest of the Brotherhood had also been. Their every effort to avoid the X-Men hadnt helped that much either, and the only excuse they had been able to think of was that theyd be going to bed. So they did. Well, they sat around and talked a little, but Lance wanted to take the chance and let everyone really get some rest for once, so he sent them all off to bed soon enough. He had counted on their fatigue to help them fall asleep in the abnormally early hour, and for the most part, he was right. He certainly had been tired. But then again, he had had a building collapse around him. Though, personally, Lance would rather go through that a hundred more times than have to face Kitty after standing her up her again. Which was exactly why Lance hadnt left his room since they came back from dinner, except for a brief moment to check up on everyone. He dreaded the morning, during which he was certain hed have to face her at breakfast, directly or indirectly. But in any case, none of that was an excuse for carelessness. He knew better than to leave Todd alone, especially not when they were outside of their home.
"Todd? You okay?" He said, pushing himself off the bed already.
"Lance... I cant stay here yo, I cant."
Lance got up and sat down next to the quivering boy, cursing the cast on his leg that made him so slow in acting.
"Its okay Todd, its okay," he kneeled down next to the bed.
"No, I cant stay here man! Im... Im scared Lance. I cant stay here. I cant. Lets go home. I dont want to stay here. Get me out of here, Lance!"
Seeing the boy wrapping his arms around himself and start to curl up, Lance quickly but carefully moved closer and wrapped his own arm around Todd.
He knew Todd wasnt talking about the Institute, and he knew he had to get Todd to hear him- otherwise he might hurt himself.
"Its okay Todd. Dont be scared. Im right here. Im right here, Todd," he spoke, his voice taking on the gentle tone that he frequently used, but only the Brotherhood knew existed.
"Are you? I feel alone... theyre gone, Lance. Im scared. I dont want to be alone."
"Youre not alone. Im right here. Todd, listen to me, Im right here, youre not alone."
"Theyre coming. Theyre going to hurt me. I dont want them to hurt me. I cant stay here. I dont want to be alone. They wont go away. I dont want them to hurt me. Go away! Help me Lance!"
"Im here Todd. Youre not alone. Its all right. Focus on me, okay? Dont think about that. Im right here. Todd, listen to my voice, all right? Concentrate. Youre not alone. Im right here. Are you listening to me? Im right here. Theyre gone. They wont hurt you. I wont let anyone hurt you," Lance scooped the smaller boy into his arms, and held onto him as he broke out in heaving sobs.
He gently put an arm around his shoulders, and the other around his head, drawing him close.
"Todd, Im right here. Youre not alone," he repeated.
In his mind, Lance prayed Todd would hear him, hoping with everything he had that Todd would not withdraw.
Pray? To who?
He didnt know, but whoever or whatever it was, Lance was tremendously grateful when Todds trembling form calmed.
"Im right here, Todd," he kept repeating the phrase, and was immensely relieved when Todds whimpers and sobs at last ceased. He remained still, Todd still half on his lap.
The first time Lance had seen Todd this way, he hadnt known what to do, what to say. He hadnt even understood what was going on. But the next day, he had managed to get part of the story out of the younger boy, enough to know how to react; though really, that had been slowly acquired through experience. The third time, Todd had started ramming himself against the walls in mental turmoil. After getting hit a number of times, Lance had managed to calm him, and after spending the night in Todds room on a chair, Lance had gotten the full story out of Todd the next morning. And since then, Lance had known better than to say anything about Todds usually present fear of the dark, or to mention anything about leaving, even as a joke. The rest of the Brotherhood had found out as well, and none would ever let it be known that Todd had a nightlight in his room. By now, Lance was more than used to reacting when Todd had nightmares or just couldnt sleep. And unlike the way he had been in his first attempts, he was very good at comforting Todd now, and knew what was wrong almost immediately most of the time; experience had granted him that. Thank whoever/whatever he had been praying to earlier, for small favors. Sometimes there was almost nothing he could say or do that would ease the boy, and at those times Lance knew Todd wouldnt be able to sleep, he was too scared to even close his eyes. So he stayed up with him, or just talked to him until Todd finally fell asleep out of tiredness, in the early hours as daylight broke in golden waves across the sky, the sunlight hitting the curtains. Sometimes the rest of the Brotherhood took turns, but Lance knew they were uncomfortable with situations such as these and usually had them leave things to him. And it wasnt like they didnt have their share of problems; Lance didnt want them to be doing things he could do instead.
"Lance?"
"Im here."
"You wont go anywhere?"
"No. Im right here. I wont let anyone hurt you."
"I cant make it go away. I keep having the same dreams, the same memories. Playing over and over again. Like some broken record. I want it to go away, Lance. I cant stand it. I dont want them there, those memories in my head."
Todd shivered, and Lance briefly let on arm fall to the side, reaching over to grab the blanket from his bed. He wrapped it around Todd, drawing him in a gentle hug afterwards. The shivering wasnt because of the room temperature, but Lance knew the blanket would comfort him.
"I know Todd. I know. But youre not alone, Im right here. And I wont ever leave, okay?"
Todd nodded slowly, but he was still trembling. "I see them when I close my eyes, Lance. Theyre coming for me, theyre going to hurt me."
"Theyre not real, Todd," Lances voice was gentle. "Youre not alone anymore; youre with me, youre with us. Nobodys going to hurt you."
"I know theyre not real... but I cant help it, yo. Every night its like youre not there anymore, and it feels the same, and they become real again. I cant help it; it wont go away. Its like you turn off the light and everything goes dark, and theyre back again."
"Theyre not. And they wont be. Ever," Lances voice was firm and reassuring.
Todd faintly nodded, but Lance could tell the words werent as convincing as both of the teens wanted them to be.
"Todd, I want you to try to sleep. Im going to bring a chair over and sit next to you, okay?" Lance gently let his arms fall back, and gave a small but encouraging smile as Todd reluctantly let go. He got up, and trying not to look hurried, he grabbed the chair by the desk by the wall and carried it over, setting it next to Todds bed.
"You want me to keep the lights on?" Lance asked, and at seeing the boys hesitation, suggested, "How about I leave the nightstand on, but turn off the other light?"
Todd nodded, watching Lance expectantly. Lance quickly acted upon the wish, and making his way back over to the bed, helped the younger boy get under the covers. After spreading the blanket over Todd, Lance sat down on the chair, Todds eyes following his every move.
"Todd, you want me to get you a drink or anything?"
Todd shook his head. "Stay with me."
"I will. But try to go to sleep, all right? I promise, Ill be right here."
Obviously reluctant to close his eyes, fearing both nightmares and the thought of waking up alone, Todd nodded, shifting to a more comfortable position, but continued to look at Lance.
"Todd, I swear I will be here when you wake up. Im not going anywhere. Go to sleep," Lance looked at him, putting a hand on Todds.
Todd hesitantly closed his eyes, holding onto Lances hand and burying himself in the layer of blankets. It was a while before his breathing calmed and the shaking lessened. Finally, Todd fell asleep, more out of tiredness than anything else. Lance remained in the chair, looking at Todd with grief and worry, until he too fell asleep in exhaustion, leaning over on to Todds bed, his head on one arm; his other hand still holding onto Todd.
That was the way Hank found them in the morning.
