Author's Note: Surprise! I decided to post this chapter on the same day that I'd publish Super Bowser. Now last chapter, I left you guys with a little cliffhanger. That cliffhanger was that a trio of special guests, two-thirds of which I support as a couple, would be making an unexpected appearance in this episode. Now in this episode, there's yet another Monty Python reference which involves a whole montage of unconnected people saying the same thing. But the REAL guest stars will appear after the montage. So, that said, get reading! And don't forget to pile on your camera! I mean, submit reviews.


"The Beauty of Kootie"

One day, apparently after the episode covered in the last chapter but not before the episode that aired along with this one, the Sultan of the Desert Hill was in his palace, relaxing in his Jacuzzi, which had faucets shaped like camel heads. Now like most characters introduced in a specific episode of a Nintendo cartoon, the Sultan was the kind of person who'd make an appearance in that one episode and then just as quickly would never be seen again. Other guest stars who fell victim to this syndrome included King Windbag of Iced Land, Crimewave Clyde, Holly Mackerel, Mark Twang and the Mouth of the River, Queen Rotunda, Captain Clump, Brutius Maximus Grouchimus, Mervin the Magician, Waldo the Wizard, James Blond, Herlock Somes, Mugga, Murphy the Leprechaun, Wizardheimer the Magikoopa, the embarrassingly unattractive Dealin' Delbert, Dr. T. Garden, Indiana Joe, Zero the legendary Zorro impersonator, Prince Facade, Toad's grandfather, Sing, Kong Fu, Samurai, Seymour the Scientist, Gizelle, Melvin the Magician, Professor Westwood, Florinda, a tanned Nurse Joy, Tony & Maria, Temacu, a sheep who acted like a wolf and sounded like Giovanni, an obvious caricature of J. K. Rowling, and Biospark. Hell, even Hugo the Huge and his parrot from the last episode were just one-shots! The story writers ought to think more about what they should do with these characters if you ask me. But no matter if this guy cared whether or not he was going to join Biospark, Kong Fu, and the others in Nintendo cartoon limbo, oil suddenly started flowing out of his faucets. Or spitting out, depending on how you look at it.

"Help!" the Sultan called. "Get in here, you morons! I've struck oil!"

Into the sauna rushed Extra Servant #5. "What's so bad about strikin' oil? It'll make ya rich."

"Why would I want my bath water turning glue?" nitpicked the Sultan.

Extra Servant #5 looked confused. "What the hell! That last line didn't make any sense!"

The Sultan climbed out of the Jacuzzi and put on a towel. "I need help! Either there's trouble afoot, or I'm being cursed by tiny invisible ghost monkeys, or troublemaking counterparts of... FAIRY GODPARENTS!" He nearly fell back into the tub on that exclamation. "Get me Ash Ketchum and his friends."

"They're unavailable, sir," Extra Servant #5 reminded his boss. "How do you expect them to be available if they spend every freakin' day of their bloody lives fighting the same Team Rocket members over and over and never anyone else?"

"Damn. Then get me their non-union Mexican equivalents," ordered the Sultan.

"They're not available, either," said Extra Servant #5, shaking his head. "They're most likely fighting the non-union Mexican 'Team Rocket Super Squad' too."

"Oh, bloody hell!" muttered the Sultan. "Well then, is there anyone else who can solve this problem?"

"What about the Mario Bros.? They saved you from being a Hoopster all your life in the game," Extra Servant #5 reminded his boss, "and besides, this is their show."

"Good. Get me them."

0-0-0

One scene-switch later, the Mario Bros. and two of their many friends arrived on the scene.

"This better be important, Sultan," Mario said impatiently. "I just got over being mistaken for Queen Mushroomkhamen's mummified son."

"My Jacuzzi's faucets are squirting oil into the tub," the Sultan explained what I already made obvious, "so I called on you to fix it."

"Oh shit, not another plumbing problem!" Mario cussed. "Let me guess, you're gonna offer a hell of a great spaghetti dinner to get us working, just because everybody on this show thinks I'm some kinda pasta pig! Well, if you expect Luigi and me to work for that... you got yourself a deal!"

"I have a feeling there's going to be some big work in the editing department today," Luigi said, to no one in particular.

0-0-0

Another scene-switch later, Mario and Luigi had placed giant-sized Flintstones Band-Aids on the mouths of the faucets, although that seemed rather illogical.

"Well," Mario said as he wiped his brow, "we should be a-okay as long as..."

"Ooh, ooh! As long as these camels keep their big mouths shut!" Luigi executed a drum roll.

"Very good, Luigi!" Mario congratulated his brother for figuring out the punchline.

Damn, I thought we were only gonna use puns like dat to make fun o' Morton Koopa Jr, thought Toad. He turned to the Sultan and asked, "Say, where da hell did da oil come from anyway?"

"Hey, you little fungus! Stop saying such foul words," reprimanded the Sultan, apparently not having noticed Mario's earlier cursing.

"But you said some yerself!" Toad pointed out even more of the Sultan's forgetfulness.

"Yes, but not as much as you. You should probably go apply for a job working for someone whose name is pronounced Mr. Doomaus but is spelled Mr. Dumbass. Ahem." The Sultan began his explanatory answer to Toad's question. "My palace is built over an oil well. And somehow, the oil pipes leading up from my well, must have gotten crossed with the water pipes from the oasis!"

"What'd he say?" Princess Peach had not been listening to the Sultan's answer.

Toad put up his arms. "I dunno; somethin' about Orson Welles, I guess."

"Actually," Luigi clarified, "he's telling us that his oil well's pipes have somehow been crossed with those of the III-shaped oasis not too far away from this castle. If the oil pressure is to build up too much, it could blow this whole place all the way to the world that this cartoon incorrectly refers to as 'Sky Land'. Needless to say, he's just giving us the motivation for us to do our daily routine, which, given that we're now on a Saturday morning show rather than a weekday afternoon show, is now nothing more than a weekly routine."

Mario, Peach, Toad, the Sultan, and even Extra Servant #5 stared strangely at Luigi.

Luigi sighed in defeat. "Ah, Shyguy dung." And he giggled and slobbered stupidly.

"Actually, Sultan, I think Luigi's got a point! Say no more; we'll get to the bottom of this leak or we're not..." Mario struck a dramatic pose. "...the Star Warriors!"

Luigi sighed again. "Wrong Nintendo cartoon, bro."

"Um..." Mario posed again, not so dramatically this time. "We'll crack this leak or we're not the Banana Slammers?"

"Wrong again."

"The N-Team?"

"WE'RE THE SUPER MARIO BROS., DANG IT!" Luigi screamed. "OUR COMPANY'S MONEY-MAKING MASCOTS! Didn't you pay attention to the opening sequence and the title cards!"

"Not really, but I think maybe the writers of these shows need to be more creative when it comes to plots," said Mario, changing the subject.

None of them noticed that at that moment, they were being watched. And those watching eyes seemed to be coming from one of the camel-shaped faucets.

0-0-0

On the other side of the periscope, Larry Koopa scowled in fury at what he was seeing. "Aw, shit! The Marios are here! I guess I should've listened to Hip and Hop when they were telling me about their little non-adventure."

"CHEATSY!" Wendy O. Koopa screamed from offscreen. "Gimmie a hand, dumbass!"

"Cheatsy" walked over to where he heard his sister's calling. Wendy was struggling to fasten an oil pipe with a monkey wrench.

"These goddamn dirty sons of bitches pipes won't stay switched!" Wendy bitched as her scales somehow flashed between orange and light tan. "I told you this was no job for a beauty queen!"

"You, a beauty queen? You're not even really 16 years old, so you've never even been to a school dance!" Larry broke the news as his head briefly changed purple. "Besides, try telling that to the Mario Bros. They just arrived!"

"Oh, not again." Wendy pulled her wand literally out of her shell. "I just hope they haven't brought that do-goodie Teamo Supremo with them."

"Wait, who is this 'Theamo Songremo'?" Larry asked.

Wendy paid no heed to her brother's query, because she was talking on the "phone" with "Daddy" at the moment. King Bowser Koopa was onboard the Doomship was several of his troops. "Hhhhhhh, what is it now, Kootie Pie, my darling detestable daughter?" Bowser asked. "And boy, do I mean detestable..."

"Don't call me Kootie Pie!" Wendy said over the wand. "Those pesky plumbers are about to infest this drippy place!"

"Aw, not again! The Doomship's fuel tanks are nearly full, and they just have to ruin the whole thing! I can't trust you with this assignment, but I order you to stop the Mario Bros.!"

"How come you don't trust me on this? I'm lucky to be given an assignment, considering how Nintendo's replacing me and my brothers with those clones of Princie."

"Shut up, you little delinquent! You're lucky to even be participating in this scheme! You should still be punished for blaming me for your loss on the America takeover."

"Well, I still say it's your fault Teamo Supremo captured me!"

"Just shut the hell up about Reamo Dupremo and do as I say!" Bowser said.

"Ooh, sometimes he makes me so mad I could take a shit in his bathtub! He doesn't trust me on stopping the Mario Bros., and he won't believe me about Teamo Supremo!" Wendy cursed as she turned off the "phone", mumbling and grumbling about how she hated the fact that Bowser wouldn't give any heed to her experience with Teamo Supremo back in the first chapter. As she complained, her wand somehow enlarged in size, and then shrunk back.

"Who is this Monty Pythreano?" Larry really wanted to know. "Tell your little brother Cheatsy about it, Kootie Pie."

"Don't call me Kootie Pie!" Wendy explained. "But do believe me when I describe Teamo Supremo. It's made up of a orange-haired four-eyes who sounds like he came from a Charlie Brown special, a cowgirl with a rope and a matching accent, and an obvious Mexican stereotype on a skateboard!"

"That's who you've been complaining about! A trio of ten-year-olds?" Larry was shocked and appalled. "Geez, no wonder King Dad isn't trusting you on this." That's when he heard the voices of Mario and Luigi upstairs. "Wait a tic, sis! I got a scheme so sneaky Dad'll wish he thought of it! Stand still and smile for the birdy!"

And with a zap of his own wand, Larry pulled an Ursula the Sea-Witch on his sister. Wendy was transformed into a human bombshell with blonde hair similar to the kind adorned by most cartoon hotties.

Wendy looked in a mirror. "Ahhh! Cheatsy! What the hell did you do to my usual beautiful self?"

"What beautiful self?" Larry joked. "I turned you into Mario's dream girl!"

"What do you know about his dreams, Cheatsy?" Wendy was curious.

"Uh... well, I know that he often sleepwalks thinking he's Dirk Drain-Head. But it doesn't matter anyway! This is the perfect way to stall him! I'll smell you later!" With that, Larry zipped off.

"Hey, get back here! You forgot to change my tail!" Wendy yelled. "Besides, you took my wallet and my cocoa butter."

The moment Larry had left the room, Mario and Luigi came in. Mario took one look at the miniature Hello Nurse and went nuts like as if he were the wolf from Tex Avery cartoons.

"Ah..." Wendy spoke in a human-like voice. "Well, hello, handsome! Aren't you the famous Super Mario, savior of this world and mascot of Nintendo?"

Mario bowed in her presence. "Heh heh heh heh heh, a super guess, my super beautiful lady!"

"Pleased to meet you," said Wendy, her tail wiggling. "I am... uh... Lady Fettuccini Alfredo! A little bit saucy, but very, very nice."

"Heeeey... isn't that a tail back there?" Luigi noticed the oversight.

"What? Why you little-!" And with that, "Lady Fettuccini" slapped Luigi all the way to the other side of the room. During this, Mario somehow managed to set up a dinner table with two bowls of pasta and a candelabra. Where'd all that come from?

"Heh heh. Please forgive my little brother for being so rude!" Mario invited "Lady Fettuccini" to take a seat. "Perhaps you'd like a gourmet snack?"

"You know, hot stuff, I'm an amateur plumber myself." "Lady Fettuccini" tried to force some spaghetti down her throat.

"Her, a plumber?" Luigi didn't believe that a woman as scantily dressed as "Lady Fettuccini" could possibly be more than a housewife or a nightclub singer. "Speakin' of which, hey Mario! Less eaty, more fixy!"

Just then, Peach and Toad unexpectedly came into the room.

"Hey, what's going on down he-" Peach suddenly gasped at the sight of Mario having dinner with another woman.

As if on cue, Mario gasped. Toad gasped. Luigi gasped. The face on a quarter that happened to roll into the room gasped. "Lady Fettuccini" gasped.

"How could you do this to me, Mario! Have a romantic dinner with this... asshole of a bitch! And after all the times I kissed your nose for rescuing me! AAAAHHH!" Peach addressed "Lady Fettuccini". "YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

And with that, Peach began to brutally attack "Lady Fettuccini" in front of everyone. She was doing a pretty good job by the time the Sultan and Extra Servant #5 rushed in and tied her up in a chain.

"Lady Fettuccini" dusted herself off. "Um... well! I guess, after that rather violent outburst, I suggest that you, ah... keep the sultan and all his guests safe, you know, just in case the castle, um, explodes."

"Duhhhh... where should we put 'em?" an awestruck Mario asked.

"Right here!" "Lady Fettuccini" was indicating a dungeon cell that wasn't there before. This must've been some kind of magic basement if things like dinner tables and dungeon cells were appearing out of nowhere right in this very place. That, or two other things. Those things were placed in by tiny invisible ghost monkeys, or produced magically by... FAIRY GODPARENTS! Ahem.

Mario looked at the cell questionably. "In there? But that looks more like some kind of place to imprison people, and Peach and Toad are our friends."

"So you won't do it, not even for little ol' me?" "Lady Fettuccini" teased him.

"Aw, okay." Mario agreed.

So "Lady Fettuccini" opened the cell door, and Toad and the Sultan walked in. Extra Servant #5 had to drag in the chain-tied Peach, who was hissing, snarling, and biting ferociously at her competition.

"Isn't it wonderful, Luigi, how she's always looking out for other people?" Mario said, not seeming to notice how violent Peach was acting.

"Yeah, yeah..." mumbled Luigi.

"Uh, remind me why we're walkin' into dis dungeon cell?" Toad inquired.

"Well, Lady Fettuccini says this is the safest place to be!" answered Mario.

"Why are you takin' the advice of an amateur plumber?" Toad wanted to know.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr... who's stealing you from me by wearing a dress that..." Peach growled. "...that... DOESN'T EVEN MATCH HER FREAKIN' TAIL!"

Her cover pretty much blown, "Lady Fettuccini" shoved Extra Servant #5 and the PMS-infected Princess into the cell and slammed the door. "Maybe it doesn't, but at least it matches the rest of me!" she said.

"What does that mean!" Mario asked.

"You eediot! Just watch!" The lady called for her brother in her normal voice. "Cheatsy! Restore me to my natural loveliness!"

"This isn't what you look like naturally?" said Mario, confused.

Larry ran in off cue, but he was still able to transform his sister back to her normal form. Or at least as normal as someone like Wendy O. Koopa could be, anyway.

Mario gasped. "Gahh! You mean, I fell for Kootie Pie Koopa?"

"ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! THAT'S WENDY O. KOOPA! Not 'Kootie Pie Koopa'! I've had it up to here with every one of you calling me "Kootie Pie"! Well, guess what, plumb scum. You've gotten my name wrong for the LAST time!" And with that, Wendy pulled a lever that, you guessed it, wasn't there before! A trap door opened underneath Mario and Luigi and they fell through it.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhh!" the Marios yelled as they fell through the trap door.

"That'll teach you to call me Kootie Pie!" Wendy taunted down the trap door. "Hmmmm, hey Cheatsy, you think I oughta do the same thing to Teamo Supremo? They didn't get my name wrong, but they did put a stop to my reign over America."

That's when another pipe happened to appear behind them. Out came a group of Boomerang Bros., Fire Chomps, and Paragoombas. Finally, Bowser arrived, squeezing himself out of the pipe. "Geeez, I have got to go on a diet when we get home. Ahem. Hmmm..." He checked the script and addressed his kids. "Uh... Congratulations, my dastardly descendants! I have seldom seen badness done better! Actually, I've seen a lot of badness done better..."

"Hey, is that an insult?" asked Larry, as his head briefly changed brown.

Ignoring his ward's quert, Bowser looked at the prisoners. "And as for you, you fun-spoiling goody-goodies, you're finally my captives!" He was about to turn around when he realized something. "Wait a minute..." He did a double take, then turned to his kids. "WHERE'S THE MARIO BROS.!"

"'They got out of line.'" Wendy answered.

"Kootie Pie, I thought I told you to stop reading those X-Entertainment sketches!" Bowser scolded. "Be serious for once."

"Fine," Wendy rolled her eyes. "I pulled the old trap door routine on them. And don't call me Kootie Pie!"

"The old trap door routine, eh? I love it, Kootie Pie! Maybe you can use it on Taco Supreme or whatever you call those imaginary foes of yours. Heh heh heh!" Bowser turned back to the prisoners. "Well, Sultan, I'll be upstairs gloating while my Doomship sucks your Orson Wales-er, your oil well dry!"

Wendy growled as her father started walking upstairs.

0-0-0

Down below, it turned out the trap door had deposited Mario and Luigi into the sewers.

"Get your ass moving, Luigi!" said Mario. "We gotta put a clog in Koopa's plans!"

"How do you know that he's here?" Luigi asked.

"Hey, if his kids are here," Mario explained. "Bowser's not far behind."

"Whoa." Luigi was awestruck. "For the first time, things have made sense in this episode."

Things got illogical again as Mario and Luigi climbed into a pipe that led them back into the basement. What was illogical about it was that the pipe was smaller than the both of them.

0-0-0

Up above, Wendy had once again gotten angry with her dad. "Sheesh! I cannot believe Daddy would get his own daughter's name wrong every time he talked to her! I ought to pull the trap door routine on him!"

"No no, Koot-er, Wendy." Larry reprimanded himself. "He is our father, and our master. Just taunt the Princess, seeing how you've pulled the trap door on her boyfriend!"

"What!" objected Peach.

"Yeah! That's right, Princess Fruitcake!" Wendy gloated through the door. "You'll never see Mae-rio again!"

"OK, firstly," the Princess pointed out, "that was a horrible pun on my first name. Secondly... he's not my boyfriend. Thirdly, he and Luigi are bound to defeat you, just like they've done before... Kootie Pie!"

"Why you-!" Wendy shook her fists. "You wanna join your man and his bro in what lies beyond the trap door?"

As Wendy was yelling, Mario and Luigi came out of a pipe that had mysteriously appeared behind the Koopalings. Peach smiled, immediately knowing what to do, and taunted the brat again. "I dare you to say those things again, Kootie Pie!"

"Don't call me Kootie Pie!" Wendy warned. "If you do it once more, I'll let you of there just so you can fall into the trap door too!"

"Kootie Pie! Kootie Pie! Kootie Pie!" Peach continued.

While Wendy was jumping up and down angrily in response, she knocked Larry down, causing him to drop his wand.

Mario swiped it up, and he and Luigi ran to the stairway. "I think it's time 'Lady Fettuccini' met her match!"

"Ooh, is it Waluigi?" Luigi wanted to know. "Or Wario?"

"No, you fartknocker! It's..." With a zap from the wand, Mario turned his brother into a creature who had the looks of an obvious relative of Bowser, with gelled hair and a purple tuxedo. " ...Kasanova Koopa!"

"But Mario!"

"Ah ah ah, wrong voice!"

"Ooh, sorry. Ahem." Luigi, as "Kasanova Koopa" spoke with a deeper voice. "But a-Mario, what am I-a supposed to do?"

"Just sweep her off her feet like she did to me! I, and by that I mean me and the others, will take care of plumbing upstairs!" Mario pushed his transformed brother over to where the Koopalings were.

Wendy was still fuming at Peach calling her "Kootie Pie" when she turned around and noticed "Kasanova Koopa". Just as Mario went nuts like a Tex Avery wolf earlier, Wendy flipped dig like an anime girl catching sight of a good-looking man. "W-who are you?"

"Kasanova" kissesdher hand. "My friends-a call a-me... Kasanova Koopa! But you can-a call me... the Shredder! I mean, Sweet Lips!"

Larry grimaced as "Kasanova" kissed his sister. He was hoping that Wendy wasn't going to go into a romantic musical number like certain other princesses. Snow White, Princess Aurora, Ariel the Little Mermaid, anyone? See, at least the heroines in Disney's television shows, like Gadget Hackwrench and Kim Possible, don't burst out in songs like that. I've always liked the over-neglected TV division of Disney better anyway. Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, Luigi was romancing Wendy as "Kasanova Koopa". He didn't really like having to kiss her. But who'd want to lock lips with a hybrid of dinosaur and turtle? Eww.

"Wow, you're quite a kisser!" said Wendy. "You're like the lyrics of Elton John's songs! Do you know if Ron Stoppable's got lips as good as yours? He's got a lot of fangirls from what I've seen."

"Uh, you're not gonna make her start singing, are you?" Larry asked, but again he was ignored. He sure is getting ignored, ain't he?

"Hey, ummmmm, Wendy! Can-a we get-a some privacy?" suggested "Kasanova". "Say, we clear out the riffraff and a-redecorate in here?"

"O... kay..." Wendy opened the dungeon door. "Y'all get offa our propity and leave us in peace!"

So the prisoners left the cell and headed upstairs with Mario as Wendy pulled out her wand (the same one that enlarged and shrunk earlier) and used it to turn the dungeon into a lounge of lurve... er, love.

"Wendy, I'm not sure King Dad would like this!" Larry nitpicked.

"Don't be silly, my little artichoke of a brother!" said Wendy. "Daddy only wants me to be happy."

"Yeah." Larry kicked some dirt and said to himself, "And for all our sakes, she'd better stay happy."

"And believe me, Kasanova's the only man... er, reptile, for me!"

"He'd better be."

Wendy started kissing "Kasanova" some more, all the while standing in midair and holding her wand at the same time. Then the illogical happened. Her wand somehow, unintentionally, changed Luigi back from Kasanova Koopa to his normal self.

Larry was so shocked that his head flashed orange. "LUIGI!"

Luigi was shocked also. "Luigi?"

The face on the quarter gasped again. "Luigi?"

Some rats hiding under the dinner table peeked out. "Luigi?"

"Luigi?" said Prince Hugo and his parrot.

"Luigi?" said Giovanni.

"Luigi?" said Ganon.

"Luigi?" said King K. Rool, Klump and Krusha.

"Luigi?" said King Dedede and Escargoon.

"Luigi?" said Pokey Minch.

"Luigi?" said Darkwing Duck.

"Luigi!" yelled Rocko, watching this on TV.

"Luigi?" said Jimmy Neutron.

"Luigi?" said Billy Hatcher.

"Ruigi?" said Scooby Doo.

"Luigi?" said Tony the Tiger.

"Luigi?" said Bart Simpson, as he was writing "I will not destroy the fourth wall" on the chalkboard.

"Luigi?" said Mr. Crocker.

"Luigi?" said Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady.

"Luigi?" said Dr. K.

"Luigi?" said Dial Bolic.

"Luigi?" said Dr. Ivo Robotnik.

"Luigi?" said Timon and Pumbaa.

"Luigi?" said George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

"Luigi?" said the 40 Thieves, poking their heads out of big baskets.

"Luigi?" said Ren & Stimpy, sticking their heads out of trash cans.

"Luigi?" said Kronk.

"LUIGI?" said Invader ZIM.

"Luigi?" said Harry Potter.

"Luigi?" said Strong Bad, watching this on his Compy 386.

"Luigi?" said Tex Avery's Wolf.

"LOU-IGIII?" said a quintet of Gumbies who were standing in front of a BBC broadcasting building.

"Luigi!" said Wendy.

"What?" said Luigi. "You expected Mario to be the one in this disguise... Kootie Pie!"

Wendy hovered up, nearly banging her head on the ceiling. "Aaaagh! I've been kissed by a plumber! I have plumber germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!"

"Uh, bleaah?" Luigi stuck out his tongue.

"One argument later..." said the French Narrator.

Luigi was soon on the run from the Koopalings, as they were chasing him up the stairs.

"Get my name wrong and then put the moves on me, huh?" Wendy shook her fist. "I'll show you! I'll tie your lips behind your head, and you'll never kiss again!"

"I don't think that's scientifically possible..." Luigi said as he ran up.

0-0-0

Up above, Mario and the others had been setting up some pipes in the kitchen. I wonder how they did it? Well, at least the kitchen didn't have illogical things happening in it like the basement did.

"We're all set!" directed Mario. "Princess, when I give the signal, turn the wheel!"

"Rrright! Whatever you say!" Peach saluted. "Uh, what is the signal?"

"Just wait'll I say 'now'! Oh, and uh, sorry for making you so angry back there..." Mario apologized.

"That's okay. I know about your experience with Pauline, so I know how you get around pretty women."

"How'd you know about Pauline?"

"Mr. Miyamoto told me," Peach replied.

Just then, Luigi came in via a trap door. "Whoa! The Koopa Kids are right behind me!"

"What's with the 'whoa'?" Mario questioned the oddity in Luigi's statement.

"I don't know," Luigi reasoned.

Mario walked up to the trap door holding a hose as Luigi stood behind the others. "Now!" he called.

Peach turned the valve, and as if on cue, the unidentifiable voices returned, this time singing "Slippin' and Slidin'" by Little Richard. Wendy and Larry were just coming out of the trap door when they suddenly met a wall of oil gushing at them. Bowser, the Boomerang Bros., and the Fire Chomps were just coming in when the kids slid right into them. (The Paragoombas were out at lunch.)

"Hey! What the crap's goin' on here?" yelled Bowser.

"Those Mario Bros. escaped from the trap door and tricked me! Then they hit us with an oil hose! And, worst of all... THEY GOT MY NAME WRONG AGAIN!" Wendy screamed.

"Really? I didn't hear Mario calling you 'Kootie Pie'," Larry pointed out.

"Oh, I should've known better than to trust you little cretins on this!" Bowser sent his Boomerang Bros. and Fire Chomps to attack, but they just got washed away in a way similar to that of how Bowser was taken away by a flood in an earlier episode. Needless to say, he wasn't at all happy about this. "Damn! I'll just have to handle this myself." He approached Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, the Sultan, and Extra Servant #5. "All right, let's see you guys try and take on me with that silly ol' hose!"

Mario gripped the oil hose. "With pleasure!"

Peach turned the lever again, but this time, nothing but a gasp came out of the hose. And the song came to an abrupt end.

"What the crap-!" Mario shook the hose. "We can't possibly be out of oil already! It's not in the script!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh!" Bowser chuckled. "Well, I guess I win for once! You're just about out of second chances."

Suddenly, the wall behind him exploded as the Team Rocket music started to play. Black smoke started to fill the room, and two figures obscured by the shadows appeared in the crater in the wall.

"What the Foshizzle-!" Bowser turned to face the explosion. "Another bunch of intruders?"

"I'd be intimidated if I were you," a male voice declared.

"Allow us to introduce ourselves," a female voice also declared.

"To protect ChalkZone from devastation," said the male voice.

"To stand up to bullies within every nation," rhymed the female voice.

"To denounce the evils of egocentric doc-tords," said the male voice, not seeming to mind his made-up word.

"To give this rhyme some sensible words," said the female voice, obviously noting her companion's odd word.

The smoke pulled away from the two speakers, revealing them. The masculine half of the pair was holding a piece of his Magic Chalk in his left hand. A big neon picture of a stick of chalk appeared from out of nowhere behind them.

"Rudy!" the boy announced his name.

"Penny!" the girl did the same.

"The ChalkZone Gang, blasting off with White Lightning!" Rudy Tabootie declared.

"Come peacefully, or we shall have to start fighting!" Penny Sanchez demanded.

Snap jumped in front of them. "Ya got that right!"

EVERYONE, including Extra Servant #5, the face on the quarter, the rats under the dinner table, and even Hugo and his parrot, was left in a stupor at the sudden appearance of this trio of visitors from another cartoon. And wouldn't you know it, Snap and the cute couple who happened to be on his "Known Confidants" list were rather surprised themselves.

"Heeeeey... you ain't Skrawl and the Beanie Boys!" Snap stated the obvious, at least to him.

"Kootie Pie!" Bowser eyed his daughter. "Is this that Cheamo Zupremo you keep telling me about!"

"Don't call me Kootie Pie! And that's not Teamo Supremo!" yelled Wendy, pointing at the ChalkZone trio.

"Well, whoever they are, they're trying to ruin our plans! I need backup. Kabu, send the Warpstar!" Bowser mistakenly called out. "No, no, wait... I need the Doomship!"

"Who is this guy?" an annoyed Snap asked the Mario Bros.

"Uh, that's Bowser Koopa, our biggest enemy," Mario answered. "He causes most of the shizzat around here, Snap."

"Wait, how did you know his name?" Rudy wanted to know.

"Hhhhh." Mario sighed. "Waluigi watches you guys on Nickelodeon a lot."

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Luigi asked. "And how'd you blow up that wall?"

"I could ask the same question as to how it's possible that a kingdom of fungi can be ruled by a human," Penny criticized.

"We thought this was where Skrawl was hidin' out!" Snap flailed his arms.

Rudy sighed. "I'll have to draw up another bomb when we find his real hideout."

"Hang on, Rudy," Mario tugged on the kid's shoulder, "I think we may need your help."

"What?"

Just then, the Doomship came crashing into the tower. Hang on, was the Doomship moving by itself? I thought they left all the magic goofs in the basement. Bowser, his kids, and his bitches climbed aboard. Then, this time with Bowser controlling it, it backed out.

Bowser pushed a few buttons at his control panel. "Now all those foolish dumbasses will see the true creepiness of the Ku Klux Klan! I mean, the Koopa Klan! Bwa ha ha!"

The flame jets of the Doomship turned on full blast, creating enough force for the tower's roof to cave in. I hope that's more logical than anything that's happened in the basement.

"Mario! Luigi!" The Sultan addressed the ChalkZone Trio. "Whoever you guys are! You must stop King Koopa before my palace is destroyed!"

"We've only got two chances..." Mario said dramatically. "And we're gonna take the more logical one!"

"Couldn't we just rig the oil hose to squirt oil at the Doomship?" Luigi pointed out.

"Don't be stupid, Luigi! Anything illogical in this episode should only happen in the basement." Mario turned to the 10-year-old artist in his presence. "Rudy! Draw me another bomb!"

"Uh, right! One Chalkbomb coming up!" Using his Magic Chalk, Rudy drew up a Chalkbomb and lit the fuse.

Mario took the bomb and leaped out the window. "HAPPY EASTER!" he screamed as he threw the bomb into the air. It landed right in the Doomship's cockpit.

"NO!" Bowser's eyes bulged.

The Chalkbomb exploded, and the explosion sent the Doomship sailing into the distance.

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM KOOPA'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Bowser, Wendy, and Larry all screamed at once.

As the Doomship disappeared from sight with a "ding", Mario landed spectacularly and got high scores from three nearby Mushroom judges. "Thank you, thank you," he said as he took some bows. "Just go to your nearest video game retailer if you want more of that."

Luigi, Peach, Toad, the Sultan, Extra Servant #5, Rudy, Penny, and Snap came running out. Penny was pointing out to the others that the explosion they had just witnessed couldn't have been logical, as the bomb was made of chalk dust.

But Mario wasn't listening, as he was congratulating Rudy for his help. "Well, Rudy Tabootie, I'd say that you are a real one-of-a-kind wonder dog."

"Say what?" a confused Rudy bit.

"Wait, that wasn't the right thing to say. Anyway, I really thank you for helping me fight off the Koopas today," Mario said as he shook the artist's hand. "You're as good a ChalkZone Hero as Snap and your fans say you are. Words cannot describe how great a guy you are! Why, Penny's parents will be thrilled, what with you being betrothed to her and all."

Penny stopped her lecture. "What?"

"Betrothed," Mario defined. "Intended. Affianced."

Rudy shook his head. "Meaning...?"

"Someday you two are going to be married!" Mario said, holding on to his suspenders like coat lapels.

Rudy and Penny blushed and giggled nervously at Mario's naughty little "prediction". He sure gets a kick out of teasing wanna-be couples that I happen to support, doesn't he? But it didn't change the fact that there was now a smoldering heap of gravel that was once the palace. I guess the first Chalkbomb explosion and the Doomship's jets made it that way.

"Mario!" the Sultan whined. "That's dandy and all, but what are we going to do about my palace? It's ruined!"

"Uh, not to worry, Mr. ...Whatever-Your-Name-Is." Rudy took out his Magic Chalk again. "I'll draw you up a new one!"

"Hang on, Rudy!" Mario stopped him. "I don't think the Sultan would be comfortable with a house made of chalk. It'd be like the story of Willy Wonka building the chocolate palace for that Indian Prince."

"He has a point there, Rudy," said Penny in agreement. "What if it rains?"

"Wouldn't that turn it into ChalkRain?" Rudy asked. "No no, wait, that's what chalk drawings on the sidewalk washed off by rain become..."

"Step back, Little Da Vinci." Mario interrupted. "Let Luigi and me handle it."

"How're ya gonna rebuild somethin' that wouldn't take Rudy very long to replace?" criticized Snap.

"With this!" Luigi pulled out Larry's wand. "Since the Koopas stupidly left if behind, we might as well give it a shot!"

Rudy, Penny, Snap, and Mario cleared away as Luigi zapped the remains of the palace. As the palace made its transformation, the wand bended in his hands.

"Oh no!" Luigi moaned. "The wand's melted!"

"Uh, technically, Luigi, it's bent, not melted," corrected Penny.

"It doesn't matter if it's melted or bent, it's an ex-wand!" Luigi verified.

"But my palace... is perfect!" declared the Sultan.

All twelve of them (that's counting the three judges) marveled in glory at the restored palace. It was like the digital restoration of an age-old Disney movie.

Penny sighed and looked at Rudy suggestively. "It's... romantically beautiful."

Rudy smiled back at his girlfriend. "Yeah...

Oh brother," Snap muttered.

"In that case... I got first dibs on the Jacuzzi!" Mario prepared to go inside.

Luigi stopped his brother. "Oh no you don't! I'm the one who fixed it."

Mario angrily faced his brother. "Yeah? Well, I threw the bomb at Koopa!"

"Well, I had to kiss Kootie Pie!"

"Well, she pulled an Ursula the Sea-Witch on me!"

Well, I saved you from being trapped in a painting!"

"Yeah? Well, Peach likes me more!"

"But I'm already datin' Daisy!"

"Why you-!" The Mario Bros. jumped at each other like wrestlers as an offscreen bell dinged.

"I have a feeling this argument will take another episode to resolve," said Extra Servant #5.

Peach, Toad, the Sultan, Extra Servant #5, Rudy, Penny, and Snap all laughed themselves silly as Mario and Luigi rolled about beating each other up, like in Super Smash Bros. Melee. Hey, they just needed to laugh!


So there you have it! Rudy Tabootie, Penny Sanchez, and Snap are the special guests of this episode! Were you expecting them? If not, who were you expecting? Please tell me in your reviews!