After a long day of shopping around for a new car, Joseph approached the front door of his humble abode, heard the phone ringing and went inside to pick it up.

"Hello? Clarisse, I'm so glad you called, I...what do you mean the car trip wasn't long enough? You needed more time to think? Oh, fair enough. So when did you get to the…an hour ago? Well, I'm glad you called to tell me that you arrived safely. How are…yes dear, I did make sure I put the rubbish out. How are your boys? Good, good. Listen Clarisse, I have some good news …did I make sure I put the cat out as well? We don't have a cat…oh I see, you were referring to the Can of Asparagus Twigs…because they've gone off? Alright then, listen, I…oh, Rupert says long-distant calls cost money…which is something they don't have much of at the palace? What are you talking about? Of course they…alright, yes okay, I'll see you in a couple of days…I love you too, bye!"

He hung up and sighed, "Strange."

After he had a shower and made himself something to eat, the phone rang again, but this time, it was a different person, "Hello? Oh, hi, how are you? You're at the airport already? Early flight? I see. Yes, of course, I'll come and get you right away. No, she won't be here. She's gone to visit her children. Yes, I do believe that gives us plenty of time alone to catch up with each other. Okay, see you soon. Yes I love you too, bye."

He grabbed a coat out of the wardrobe, then headed out the door and into his new car.

It wasn't a very long drive to the airport. Joseph was very excited about finally seeing this very special someone whom he hadn't seen in years.

When he arrived at the airport, he found her straight away. She wasn't very hard to spot out; she was wearing pink (as always), she had short blonde hair and a cheery disposition.

He walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder, "Oh, Joseph, it's so nice to finally see you. It's been too long."

"It has."

She threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"How are you darling?"

"I'm fine thankyou. How have you been?"

"Oh, fine, just fine. I have to tell you, Joseph, I'm very much looking forward to meeting this fiancée yours. She sounds like an interesting woman. Did I hear you correctly when you said she was a Queen?"

"Yes, she was the Queen of Genovia for several years."

"I can't believe you managed to romance a Queen."

"I didn't romance her, we fell in love. It's not that hard to believe. Why don't we talk about this in the car?"

"Yes, that does sound like a good idea, I'm terribly tired and I've been staring at that wall for so long I feel as if my eyes are going to fall out of their sockets."

"Shall we?"

"It's lovely."

"It is rather, isn't it? I bought it today. Well, actually, I haven't paid for it yet, but I will eventually."

"Spare me the details, I want to hear more about your fiancée. Clarisse isn't it?"

"What do you want to know?"

"How exactly did you get a Queen to be your fiancée?"

"Well, it all started five or so years ago…"

Ten minutes later…

"She must be very special."

"Believe me, she is…"

"I meant she must be very special, since she tamed the wild beast. I must admit I thought you'd never settle down. Remember how you used to spend every night in a different bed because you refused to sleep alone? Remember that, Joseph? You broke a lot of hearts back then, but here you are now, about to be married and with a baby on the way. The folks back in town wouldn't believe their eyes. Do you remember Cherry? I liked her. Dear Cherry, she was a lovely girl and she wanted so much to be with you. Why didn't you marry her?"

"Do we have to talk about this now?"

"Answer my question or you'll get a smack!"

"I didn't love her. She didn't make my heart beat faster, she was just another…"

"Ah…yes, I know. Still…it would have been nice."

"Not for me."

"I have a question to ask you."

"Which is?"

"Are you sure your Clarisse doesn't still love this Rupert fellow?"

"She never did."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, why?"

"Because I know I wouldn't want my fiancée staying with his ex in rooms that are adjoined, or so I assume…"

"If you're implying that you think she's going to have an affair, then let me tell you, she's not."

"How do you know? She's done it before."

"That was different."

"How?"

"Look, she's not like that."

"But how do you know for sure that she isn't in bed with him right now as we speak?"

"Because she doesn't care for him that way. She never has, now can you please drop it?"

"I'm sorry dear, I won't mention another word about it until we get home."

"No, you will not speak about this ever again."

"Fine, I won't say a word."

"You'd better not. I don't want you to do or say anything that would jeopardise our relationship further."

"I wouldn't dream of it."


"Make yourself at home."

"Wow, this is where you live? It's beautiful."

"It was a gift from King Rupert."

"The husband? Uh oh…"

"There's no 'uh oh' about it."

"If you say so."

"I don't want to hear another word about this, am I understood?"

"Clearly. Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Go ahead, it's right through there."

Joseph watched her leave the room and immediately picked up the phone, "Yes, hello? I was wondering if it would be possible to speak to Clarisse Renaldi…just tell her it's Joseph…yes, I'll hold…Clarisse, hi…no, I just wanted to hear your voice. Did I catch you at a bad time or something? I see."

"Joseph, would you please be a dear and fetch me a towel?"

"In a minute. What? No, of course there's no woman here, what makes you say that? I can assure you there isn't…well believe what you want, but I'm not having an affair. Listen, I was just ringing to tell you that I bought a car, since you wouldn't listen to me earlier. Yes, it's very nice. Why am I calling so late? Because I was desperate to talk to you…no I'm not checking up on you, I just miss you."

"Joseph! Towel, now!"

"Hang on a minute…the towels are in that cupboard there…I'm sorry, where were we? Hello? Clarisse, are you there? Hello?"