Disclaimer: Don't own anime. Don't own fabulous, fantastic, awesome songs that I am shamelessly plugging for purely the benefit of sharing these glorious and spectacular songs with others Do you think the bands will sue me when I'm promoting them?
Warning: The everyday mundane lives of the unaware are about to be shattered. There will be a fight, blood, a little cursing. (And a dark scene that was hard to write and may be hard to read. It is meant to be vivid, I hope it turns out well)
Author's Note: Matt is back. I hope everyone likes his return and the consequences of his brother's and friend's actions to try to reach him. The next chapter will be Matt's second letter. Hopefully it won't take long to put together.
Enjoy!
Happy Birthday
Chapter IV: What I Really Meant To Say
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things that you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
- 'Cold,' by Crossfade
True to Matt's prediction, the next morning was cold. A snowstorm had passed in the night, leaving a blanket of the soft ice a foot deep on the ground. Luckily, the park's grounds keeper had already made his rounds and swept the main paths free of the white powder. With the trail swept clear, all the two boys walking in the park had to worry about was the cold. Each was bundled up with an overcoat, snow shoes, and warm gloves on their hands.
Tk had been anxious to see Matt and, despite staying up late, had woken Tai up at the crack of dawn to go to the park. Despite all Tk's efforts to leave earlier, they hadn't left his apartment until around eight fifteen. Tai hadn't resisted Tk's urging, at least not much. He was just as anxious to see his friend, he wanted to find out just what Matt was up to. He felt that it was way past time for Matt to come clean with him. Since the park wasn't very far away, they were there before they knew it. They were now walking the clean paths, enjoying the still beauty of the frozen morning.
"You know, Tk, you really could have let me finish breakfast."
Looking at his watch, Tai found that they still had roughly thirty minutes to kill before Matt was supposed to show. Seeing how anxious Tk looked as he thought about his brother, Tai decided to lighten the mood with some good old-fashioned grumbling.
"Finish?" Tk laughed, "You had three helpings."
"Hey, I'm a growing boy."
"Just because Matt says you'll never grow up doesn't mean you should compensate by growing out."
Tai laughed good-naturedly and brushed the snow off one of the park benches with a gloved hand. Sitting down, he watched as Tk paced back and forth anxiously awaiting his brother. Tired of just watching Tk fret, Tai flexed his right hand. Opening and closing the blue gloved fingers, Tai could feel the bandages under the blue glove where he had cut his palm the night before. He was almost thankful for the dull throbbing coming from his hand, it acted as a distraction from his current thoughts. As concerned as Tai was for Matt, right now he was more worried about Tk.
"So how ya doing, kid?"
"I'm fine," Tk answered distractedly, still pacing.
"Riiight, and I'm a digimon. I've known you since you were 8, Tk, you've never been able to lie to me. How are you?"
"Honestly? I'm angry with myself. He's my big brother and I never had a clue about what he was doing."
"You can't blame yourself," Tai said, looking up at him, "You know how he is, he always has to be so strong, the lone wolf. Sometimes I think he'd literally die if he had to let someone in, he just can't do it."
"I know that, Tai," Tk's voice was loud with frustration. "It just makes me so mad. Mad at myself…mad at him."
Tai kept his mouth shut. He understood that Tk didn't need his reassurances, he just needed to vent his feelings out loud. There was definitely more bothering Tk about the situation than he let on.
"Man, he's good," Tk looked away from Tai, speaking quietly under his breath. "He's so good at keeping himself apart, nobody even noticed. He's been acting just like he did before we went to the digital world. I just don't know what to do about it."
"Before the digital world, you guys didn't see much of each other, right?"
"Yea, sometimes he'd come visit me and mom, but he never invited me over to visit him. But it was different after the digital world, he was always coming over to visit me. I even went and visited him and dad a few times. It was great, I really felt like I had my big brother back. I just don't understand why he's changing back to the way he was."
"Well, considering all the possibilities we came up with yesterday, I think the only way we're going to get the real answer is from your brother."
The two boys had stayed up until almost three in the morning trying to figure out what might have prompted Matt's strange behavior. Despite all their talking, they hadn't found any real answers. They hadn't even been able to pin-point exactly when Matt had started withdrawing from them. If they couldn't get any real answers from Matt today, their only other option was to talk with the other digi-destined and see if they could come up with some answers as a group.
I hate the idea of talking about Matt behind his back, but I don't know what else we can do. I think we went over every possibility, even alien abduction.
"He's fallen in with a bad crowd, he's started taking drugs, he's joined a cult," Tk started ticking off some of the ideas they had come up with on his fingers.
"Don't forget the possibility that he just doesn't like us anymore."
"Tai, that's not funny."
"I didn't mean it to be funny. I hate the fact that he won't open up to us. Let me tell you, Tk, your brother is seriously starting to tick me off. He thinks he can just avoid us and no one is going to do anything?"
Tk was silent as Tai fumed for a moment on the bench.
"Well, I'll show him," Tai jumped up from the bench, assuming his patented 'I'm the Leader' pose. "You and me, buddy, we're going to show him what being a friend really means. We'll make him tell us what's going on. He'll never know what hit him."
Tk laughed at Tai's enthusiastic plan. He was feeling better about everything since he had talked with Tai about it. Between the two of them, Matt would have to open up a little. Besides, he knew that if anyone could get Matt to do something he didn't want to, it would be Tai.
Tai laughed along with Tk and dropped his pose. His first mission was accomplished; cheering up TK. Now on to step two; getting answers from Matt.
Hmmm…where is he anyways. It's already after nine, he should have been here thirty minutes ago. If he was going to be late, he could have at least called us.
"I wonder where he is," Tai turned to the younger blonde. "He's late."
"Maybe he's just being fashionably late?" Tk teased.
"Fashionable or not, he better have a good excuse."
Seeing that Tai was starting to get angry again, Tk scanned the park hoping for some sign of his brother. Matt had already done enough to make Tai mad, Tk didn't want more fuel on the fire. To his relief, he could see a slender figure trudging up the path towards them.
"Matt!" Tk smiled happily, engulfing him in a hug when he finally reached them at the park bench.
Matt allowed his brother's embrace, but didn't return it. He only gave his brother a small smile that seemed to hover between a grin and a grimace. Feeling the slight tremors running through Matt's body, Tk released his brother and stepped back to look him over.
Matt looked as if the cold was really affecting him. Then again, he didn't really seem to have dressed for it. He wore black slacks and a thin, black turtleneck sweater. His only concession to the cold was a long, black coat that he hugged to himself. His face seemed paler than usually and he couldn't seem to calm his shivering.
"Hey," the greeting was as small as the smile.
"Hey, mon," Tai greeted Matt as he came up beside Tk. "You're late."
"But that's okay." Tk was eager to maintain the peace. Plus, seeing how cold Matt looked, he was anxious to get him somewhere warmer. "I guess you were right, Matt, it is too cold today to hang out outside. Let's go find a coffee shop and get some hot cocoa."
"Sure," Matt smiled a little more earnestly and pulled his coat tighter around himself. "A coffee shop sounds perfect."
"Hey, Matt," Tai put his hand on Matt's shoulder, not willing to let him off as easily as Tk seemed to be doing. "Before we go, perhaps you could tell us why you're late."
"That really is none of your business." Matt turned away, brushing Tai's hand off of his shoulder.
Tk winced slightly as he saw Tai's temper flare. Tai hates it when Matt does that. Geez, Matt, couldn't you be a little more polite. This is not going to help anything.
"Idiot, of course it's my business. You're late to meet up with me and Tk. I think we deserve an explanation and an apology."
"Fine," Matt glanced back at Tai briefly. "Sorry, I was late. Traffic was a bitch."
Tk would have giggled at Matt's flippant response if he hadn't been so concerned with his brother's recent behavior. It seemed Matt had decided to fight Tai's stubborn prying with complete indifference. He had already turned away, as if he expected them to follow him as he led the way to the coffee shop located right outside of the park.
"Fine," Tai seethed, looking for a new way to get answers out of the recalcitrant boy. "Don't tell me why."
Tk was torn. Looking back and forth between his brother's slowly departing back and Tai, who was standing in place fuming, he just wasn't sure what to do next. Tai made the decision for him, though, when he scooped up a handful of snow and sent it after Matt.
"Instead, why don't you explain why you suck as a big brother."
Uh-oh…Tk took a couple steps back from both boys. The conversation had just taken a nose-dive. If there was anything that could piss off his brother more than being called a bad brother, Tk didn't know what it was. In the style of any good western…'Them's fightin' words'
Whether it was the insult or the snowball to the back of his head, or more importantly his hair, Matt was definitely reaching his own limit. Matt turned abruptly and stalked up to his friend. Tai managed to pelt him with two more snowballs, one in the leg and the other to the left side of his chest, before they were standing nose to nose. Tai could see the anger glittering in his cold, blue eyes, but he refused to back down and stared into Matt's eyes with his own challenge.
"So, are you going to tell me what your problem is?"
The two boys continued to glare at one another, neither giving an inch. Tk was starting to get worried, usually there was a brief fight, a couple punches thrown, and then everything went back to normal. But today seemed different and Tk didn't know why. In the end, it was Matt who broke the stalemate. Breaking the mutual glare, Matt turned away to look at Tk and absently brushed at the few, scattered snowflakes on the right side of his jacket.
"You are just one of many," Matt finally answered, pushing Tai away from him. "I think it's better if I just go. See ya around, little bro."
"Wait, Matt…" Tk tried to quickly find a reason to convince Matt to stay.
But Tai was done with reasoning and took the more direct approach. This time when he reached for Matt's shoulder, he didn't stop there. Instead, he forcibly spun Matt around and slammed a fist into his abdomen.
"I'm tired of all this 'Lone Wolf' crap. It's time you and me had a little chat."
"Bastard, you insist I come, insult me, and hit me. We have nothing to 'chat' about," Matt yelled in Tai's face, trying to shove the brunette boy away from him.
Tai was having none of that. He shook Matt until he practically rattled, all the while hollering at him.
"Oh no you don't. Tk and I figured you out." Matt didn't have a ready comeback for that and instead just stared with wide eyes at Tai as he continued to be shaken. "We know that you have been avoiding us, all of us. What we want to know is why!"
Something's wrong. Matt is never this passive with Tai. Usually he would have struck back at him by now.
Still getting no answer, Tai snapped a second punch at Matt's stomach. This time Matt responded with a strike of his own. He caught Tai in the face with a right hook that forced Tai to release his hold. Matt staggered back against the nearby lamp post as Tai fell backwards onto his butt in the middle of the cold trail. Both boys were breathing rapidly, their breath showing as short puffs of frozen air.
"I told you already," Matt panted, leaning heavily on the lamp post. "This doesn't have anything to do with you. If you won't accept that, then I don't have anything more to say to you."
As Matt stumbled away from them holding his coat tightly about himself, Tk looked down at where Tai lay sprawled on the snow dusted trail. For a moment, Tk was at a loss of what to do. All the plans he and Tai had made to get Matt to open up to them had been completely blown apart. He felt a strange idea tickle the back of his mind and slowly he began to understand what went wrong. Tk had a sinking suspicion that, while things may not have gone the way he and Tai had planned, they had been right on track for Matt.
"Tai?" Tk asked distractedly, "Why did we want to see Matt today?"
"What? What do you mean, 'why?' You know why."
"Just humor me," Tk's voice was serious.
"We wanted to talk to him about why he wasn't spending time with us."
"Right. And why did you get mad and fight with him?"
"Because the stupid jerk was over thirty minutes late and didn't feel that he owed us an explanation or anything," Tai huffed angrily.
"And now…?"
"Now?" Tai was a bit confused about where the conversation was leading.
"And now," Tk answered his own question as he watched Matt exit the park's gate, "now he isn't spending time with us."
Tai took a minute to mull over what Tk had said. It didn't take him long to realize that it had been his fault that Matt had left.
"I'm sorry, Tk, I screwed up," Tai ducked his head, flushing with shame.
"What?" Confused, Tk turned back and saw how upset Tai was. "No, Tai, you don't understand. It wasn't your fault, not really. Matt planned this, he manipulated you into the fight."
"But I was the one who started it."
"No, he provoked you." Tk reassured Tai. "Have you ever considered why Matt has the Crest of Friendship? I have. I think it's because he is so good at seeing a person, inside and out. He understands that everyone is different and knows that a true friend is aware and considerate of those differences. For example, if Mimi were sad about something, he'd lend her a shoulder to cry on. If it were Joe, he'd give him space, but be available whenever Joe was ready to talk. And if it were you, he'd provoke an argument because he knows that when you feel emotionally overloaded, you like to work through it physically. I know, I've seen him do it before."
"But I didn't want to fight him this time, so why would you think he was provoking me?"
"He knows your strengths and weaknesses. He knows what buttons to push to get you started. For some reason he doesn't want to talk to us, so he provoked you into fighting him so he could leave without causing us to be suspicious."
"Damn, he is good," Tai was so amazed with Tk's conclusions that he didn't notice how cold his butt was getting because of the frozen ground. "But not as good as you are it seems. Well, I for one don't plan on letting him get away with this. He won't trick me the same way again. I'll get him to tell me what's been going on."
Tk extended his hand to help Tai to his feet. He was surprised, though, when in mid-reach Tai suddenly pulled his hand away from Tk. Tai held his hand in front of himself with his palm towards Tk and stared at it with a deep frown on his face.
"There's no way I'm going to let him get away now," Tai turned his hand so that Tk could see what he was looking at. "He's hurt and I want to know how!"
Tk's eyes widened in shock when he saw a dark, rust colored smear across the knuckles of Tai's right hand. He knew that it wasn't Tai's blood, he had cut himself on his palm the night before. That meant that the blood had to have come from Matt.
I know I didn't hit him that hard. Not enough to cause him to bleed. Damn it! I shouldn't have hit him. I just wanted to talk to him. Why wouldn't he tell me something was wrong? Why wouldn't he tell me that he was hurt?
"Come on," Tk looked frantically towards where he had seen Matt's form disappear. "We have to find him fast!"
"You're right, but this time we have to be more careful. No matter what, we need to remain calm and get him to talk to us. Let's get him back to my place and confront him there. At the very least, between the two of us, we stop him from leaving and see where he's hurt."
Tk nodded a quick agreement and pulled Tai to his feet. They practically flew through the park, passing through the exit in no time. Tk led the way as they continued their chase down the quiet street. He was fairly sure that Matt would be heading for the nearby train station. After they turned a few corners, Tk was relieved to see Matt walking not too far in front of them. Matt was walking slowly with his head down and his arms firmly wrapped around himself to ward against the cold.
"Matt!" Tk wasted no time getting to his brother's side.
Tai was right behind him, but when they finally came up beside Matt neither of them made any move to get too close. They were hesitant to do anything that might cause Matt to take off again.
"What is it, Tk?" Matt asked with a sigh.
"Please don't go," Tk pleaded. "I never get to spend time with you anymore. I miss my big brother."
Whoa, Tk's fighting dirty. He knows Matt can't resist his 'please, big bro' eyes.
"I guess I could stay," Matt answered sending a challenge towards Tai, "If Tai will admit he was wrong."
What the hell!!! There is no way I would say that. It's you, Matt, that's being the jerk.
Tai opened his mouth to send a sharp retort back at Matt when he saw Tk's eye pleading at him.
Shit, he almost got me again. Well, two can play at this game, and I can play just as dirty as Tk.
"I want to apologize to you, Matt," Tai quickly recovered his composure, giving a good semblance of being penitent. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset about something so stupid. You were right, it's not my business why you were late."
Matt looked at him with suspicion easily seen in his eyes, but couldn't say anything against Tai's seemingly earnest apology. Instead, he just nodded in acknowledgement.
"So you see, Matt, you don't have to go." Tk did his best imitation of puppy eyes. "You did say you would spend some time with us today."
"But it's too cold out." Matt stated.
"No prob!" Tai was quick to stop any potential excuses. "We're just a few blocks from my apartment. Come on, we can make something hot to drink. Besides, you did promise to help me with my math homework. I really need your help with it, I don't want to fail."
Ha! Let's see you get out of that. I know you would do anything not to break a promise. I also know you hate not being able to help a friend in need. You've met your match, Ishida Yamato.
Matt looked hesitantly back and forth between his brother and his best friend before letting another soft sigh escape his lips.
"Fine, I guess I did promise. Alright, let's go."
Tai gave Tk a small victory sign behind Matt's back as they turned to go back to the apartment. The walk was uneventful. Matt didn't say much, only responding when Tk made an innocuous comment or question.
When they got to the apartment, Tai let them in with his key and immediately saw that there was no one else at home. The boys paused in the front hall to take off their outdoor wear so the melting snow wouldn't create puddles in the house. Matt hesitated briefly before letting Tk assist him with removing his coat. Even in the warm apartment, Matt seemed to be cold.
While Tk hung Matt's coat on the hook by the door, Tai went to find out where everyone had gone. In the kitchen, he saw a note on the table. It had two lines on it, but it gave him all the information he needed.
'Gone to grocery store. Be back soon.' Perfect. With Mom out, Dad out of town, and Kari shopping with Yolei, we'll have the place to ourselves.
"Tai, can I use your bathroom?" Matt called from the front room.
Tai waved Matt off and as soon as the older blonde had left the room, he motioned for the younger blonde to come closer. With their heads together watching the entryway, they had a rushed, whispered conversation.
"I got him to take off his coat, but I couldn't see where he was hurt." Tk whispered hurriedly.
"Damn," Tai grimaced, "If only he didn't have such a thing for always wearing black. It hides everything."
"So what do we do? Ask him about it?"
"I don't think he'll just tell us what happened and how he got hurt."
"Yeah, you're probably right, Tai. But then how are we going to find out. I'm really worried about him. We don't even know how badly he's hurt."
"I think the first thing to do is find out what his injuries are and confront him about them. He can't deny or talk his way out of them if we've already seen them."
"But how do we do that? I don't think he is going to just stand still and let us search him."
"We're going to have to hold him down. If you get his arms, I think can pin him and still be able to check him for wounds."
"I'm not sure about this," Tk hesitated, knowing how angry Matt would be that they had invaded his privacy like that. "He's going to be furious with us."
"It's our only option right now," Tai was determined to find out what was wrong. "I can't think of anything else to do."
"Anything else to do about what?" Matt asked from the doorway.
Tk let out a startled squeak and Tai spun quickly to see Matt standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. Sometime during their whispered conversation both boys had turned their attention away from the doorway. They could see suspicion clouding the tall blonde's face. Tai quickly pasted a smile on his face and rushed over to Matt.
"Tk said he wanted to play video games, right, TK?" Tai turned to Tk and wiggled his eyebrows anxiously at Tk for confirmation. "I told him I couldn't think of anything else to do. You know, with it being so cold and all."
"Yeah," Tk jumped to support Tai, "Video games are so much fun. You'll play with me right?"
"Sure, Tk," Matt nodded slowly. Tai could see that Matt wasn't entirely taken in by his excuse.
"Great, I'll go pick out a game."
Tk darted out of the kitchen and started to rummage through the pile of games that sat next to the TV. Matt stood a little longer in the doorway, staring at Tai before he followed after Tk.
Swallowing hard, Tai stepped into the room after Matt. He looked around the room trying to figure out the best way to corner Matt so he couldn't escape. The TV was against the wall to the left of entranceway that Tai was standing in. Tk was kneeling in front of the TV, between it and the couch, trying his best to not show how nervous he was. Past the back of the couch, Tai noticed Matt standing against the wall. Matt was watching everything that Tk did, but was not willing to even get as close as the couch.
"Any luck, Tk?" Tai said, inching his way as stealthily as he could towards Matt.
"Well," Tk saw Tai closing in on Matt and knew that they had to act quickly before Matt could figure out what was going on, "How about this one, Matt?"
Tk picked up on of the games he had been shuffling through and, turning to face the couch, held it up towards Matt. Matt hesitated briefly before he moved forward. Tai couldn't help but think that Matt seemed reluctant, almost afraid to approach Tk. In four slow steps, Matt reached the back of the couch and leaned forward over it to take the game from him.
Even though they hadn't really planned anything in detail, Tk and Tai moved in tandem. Right as Matt's hands closed over the game, Tk grabbed both his wrists as Tai used his own body to pin Matt against the back of the couch. Tai would have spared a moment to think of how uncomfortable Matt was, his hips and legs hanging from the back of the couch while his upper body was held down against the front cushions, if he wasn't completely focused on finding out what was wrong with his friend.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Tai ignored Matt's angry cries, focusing only on the task at hand. Matt's body writhed under him, wiggling and squirming in an attempt to get free. Tk was still kneeling on the floor in front of the couch trying to keep a grip on Matt's wrists as he tried to tug loose.
"Stop it. Let go of me!"
"Quit struggling, Matt," Tai yelled at him as he pulled at Matt's thin sweater, trying to get it loose from his pants so he could see where he was injured. "You asked for this."
"No! Stop!! Please, STOP!!!"
Matt's voice was getting higher and louder, each word coming more frantically. Tai didn't notice, he was too intent on trying to pull Matt's shirt up to see the damage. He could feel the clothe under his hands was damp and, as Matt continued to struggle against him, he could see the red stain that rubbed off on his hands.
"Tai," Tk's voice sounded soft and scared.
"NO! STOP!! PLEASE!!!"
Matt's cries had dissolved into unintelligible screams. Tai continued to ignore everything around him in his obsession to understand what had happened to Matt. He didn't hear Matt's cries or Tk softly, fearfully calling out to him. But he couldn't ignore the next voice as easily.
"What are you doing?!?"
There was a noisy clatter and Tai's head whipped around to see his mother standing in the doorway with her grocery bags spilled across the floor at her feet. Seeing the shock in her face, Tai was brought back into awareness of his situation. Looking down at his friend's limp body, Tai wasn't sure how long ago Matt's struggles had ceased. It was probably at about the same time that he had stopped crying out.
Tai stepped quickly backwards away from Matt. Tk also sensed the change in the air and let go of his brother's wrists. Silence lay heavily in the room, Tai and Tk staring down at the still form of the older blonde while Tai's mother continued to look in horror on the scene she had walked into.
Without any warning, Matt suddenly lunged backwards away from the couch. Shoving Tai against the wall, he ran towards the doorway. Matt was so intent on leaving, he didn't even notice Tai's mother or her groceries. He tripped over the items that had spilled out of the paper bags and would have fallen if Tai's mother hadn't reached out to catch him. Matt didn't allow that to slow him down much, he quickly darted past her and fled out the front door leaving his coat and shoes behind.
Tai tried to follow, but his mother would not allow him to pass.
"Just what do you think you were doing to that poor child, Yagami Taichi?"
"Mom, we didn't do anything to him, honest," Tai continued to move from side to side in front of his mother, anxiously looking for a way to get past her.
"I don't believe that for a minute," she glared down at him, noting that the red stains on her hands matched the stains on his. "I could hear him from outside. That boy was screaming like he was being murdered. You better tell me exactly what is going on, or you won't be leaving this apartment for a year."
"Arrgh! Mom," Tai was desperate to chase after Matt and rushed to explain what he could to his mother. "I don't know what is going on. Tk and I met Matt at the park today. We argued and I got mad and hit him. I didn't hit him hard, I promise, but that's how I noticed he was bleeding. He wouldn't tell me or Tk what was wrong, so we decided we had to find out for ourselves and so we invited him back to the apartment. We were desperate to find out how he got hurt so Tk and I pinned him down so I could see what had happened to him. The next thing I knew, he was screaming. I promise, we didn't do anything to hurt him. We're just worried about him. He's hurt and we don't know how bad it is or even how it happened."
Tai's mother's eyes softened as he finished his hurried explanation with a deep breath. She knew her son well enough to know that he wouldn't do anything to hurt his friends and was glad the explanation supported that.
"Tai," Tk spoke softly from where he was still kneeling. "We have to find him. Now."
Tai nodded at the desperation he heard in Tk's voice. He was worried too. Matt had not acted anything like they had expected he would. Tai had thought Matt would cuss at them, maybe threaten a little mayhem, but he never expected him to scream out like that. He also never expected Matt to run away. He had been all prepared for the punch that Matt would deal him, not for the panic-stricken flight.
"I know, Tk. We will. Please, Mom, we have to go."
"Alright," she sighed. "Wash your hands and make sure you don't forget your coats. I'll stay here in case he comes back. Call me on your cell phone if you need anything."
"Thanks, Mom," Tai quickly brushed a kiss onto his cheek before running to the bathroom to wash Matt's blood off of his hands.
When he returned to the front hall, he found Tk already bundled up and holding his jacket for him. In no time, they were out on the street and running towards the train station.
It was almost forty-five minutes later that they were truly getting worried. They had run to the station, but Matt wasn't there. And when they checked with the security guard on the platform, he said he hadn't seen anyone matching Matt's description there in the last hour or so. From the train station, they searched every coffee shop, book store, and general hang-out in the area. When they called his cell phone, Tai's mother had answered it saying that Matt had left it behind in one of his coat pockets. They couldn't find Matt anywhere and after searching for so long, they decided it was time to call in reinforcements. Both boys pulled out their cell phones and began dialing.
"Hey, Joe, is Matt there?" Tk had called Joe first because he thought that maybe if Matt was hurt and needed help that that was where he'd go.
"Hey, Sora, it's Tai. I'm looking for Matt," Tai knew that Matt enjoyed Sora's forthright attitude and hoped that he had gone to her to talk.
"Oh, he's not? Joe, I don't have time to explain, but I need your help. Matt's hurt. No, I don't know how. Please, just listen for now, I'll explain after we find him. He's hurt, we've been searching all over for almost an hour now and we can't find him. Could you call all the hospitals in the area and see if he's there? If you find anything out, call Tai's home number, we'll use that as our base of operations. Tai's mother is there. Thanks, Joe."
"Sora, I got in a fight with Matt and he ran off. I'm afraid he's hurt and I can't find him. Could you grab Izzy and go to Matt's apartment to look for him? Thanks. Call my home number and let my mom know if you find anything."
"Tai, I can't get a hold of Kari," Tk told Tai as soon as he saw him hang up with Sora.
"She's over with Yolei. They were supposed to go shopping. Did you leave a message?"
"Yeah, and I called your mother to tell her we had everyone reporting back to her."
"Perfect, that'll free us up to look. If she hears that anyone found him, she'll call everyone and let us know. This way we won't get a lot of phone calls about where he isn't."
"I'm worried, Tai," Tk stopped where he was on the sidewalk.
Tai stopped with him and watched him anxiously. He knew that there was more that Tk wanted to say, but that he was having a hard time saying it.
"At your apartment…"
"when he was yelling at us…"
"Tai, he was crying. He…he looked like he was terrified of us."
"It scared me," Tk whispered to his feet.
Tai didn't know what to say, so he pulled Tk into a fierce embrace. Trying to give off the big brother vibes that he knew Tk needed right then.
"It'll be okay, Tk," he said, trying to sooth the younger blonde. "We'll find him, I promise."
Tai pretended not to hear the soft sniffles as Tk trembled in his arms. After a few minutes, Tk's shaking stopped and the boy pulled away from him. Both boys looked up, startled to feel the soft touch of new snow. The cold in the air had decided to visit the earth again as a purifying coat of white snow and the snow was starting its fall.
"Thanks, Tai."
"No problem," Tai forced a smile for his friend. "So, where now?"
Tk looked thoughtful, running through all the places they had already checked in his mind.
"Well, he doesn't have his coat or his shoes. He couldn't have gone far. What's close to your apartment?"
"Let's see. There's the bookstore, but we checked there. There's the old church, but we looked there too. There's the park…"
"Tai, we didn't look in the park."
Turning around, the boys headed swiftly back the way they had come from. They were out of breath and panting by the time they reached the entrance to the park. Now, the gently falling snow had called for more friends and the snow fell thick enough to somewhat obscure their vision. Once through the gate, they slowed down so that they wouldn't miss him. Tai and Tk didn't talk as they walked down the park trail. The park was empty of people and with the curtain of snow it was so silent that the world itself seemed to be muffled. There was only the soft sound of snow crunching beneath their feet as they walked on the newly formed layer of snow on the trail. Neither boy called out for the older blonde, they were too afraid that if he was there, that it would startle him into running again.
They made a complete circuit of the park without seeing any sign of his tall form or hearing any hint that he might be there. The frustration of not finding him was evident in their eyes as they looked at each other under the only other entrance to the park.
"Let's look one more time," Tk said, not willing to give up hope yet.
"Alright," Tai agreed. "You watch the right side of the trail, I'll watch the left. Maybe he wandered off the trail."
They retraced their steps, both focusing intently on penetrating the curtain of snow to search the area around them. When they reached the part of the trail that came closer to the lake, Tai paused to look out over the water. Tk continue to forward on the trail, not noticing that Tai had stopped.
Why does Matt always do this? Even in the digital world, he always had to go off on his own. He'd find some isolated spot and sit down to play that harmonica of his. Most of the time, I didn't have any trouble finding him, he seemed to like finding places where the water met the land. I almost wish we were back in the digital world, even if he walked away, he would always come back eventually.
Tai examined the water before him, it had a thin coating of ice over its surface and it didn't look at all inviting to him. He couldn't figure out what it was that Matt liked so much about sitting by the water. As he looked aside to see how far away Tk had moved, something caught the corner of his eye.
Tai's eyes narrowed as he stared intently down at the snowy area leading away from the trail towards the lakeside. There were light impressions of footsteps in front of him. They had probably been deeper, but the falling snow was rapidly filling them in.
"Tk, come over here," Tai called out, catching the younger boys attention.
Tk turned to see Tai step off the marked trail. He moved slowly, cautiously, like a hunter hoping not to scare off the prey that he knew was hiding in the bushes. Tk darted after him, trying to mask his hurried footsteps and still catch up to the brunette. When Tai suddenly stopped, Tk picked up his speed. Reaching his friend, he felt like he had run into a brick wall. It was like the breathe was knocked out of him and he couldn't take another step forward.
Over Tai's shoulder, he saw his brother lying sprawled in the snow. It looked like Matt had simply fallen over as he walked. He lay on his left side, his left knee bent partially towards his torso as if it was attempting to help him stay warm by moving into the fetal position, but had run out of energy before it even got started. A light layer of snow covered his body in a mocking imitation of a pure white blanket. It was a cruel joke on nature's part to give him a blanket that would steal his warmth. As Tk and Tai stared in horror at Matt's fallen form, they realized that even more horrifying than the utter stillness of his body was the halo of red to pink that spread out from the snow under him.
---------tbc
:) Alright, how was it? Don't be shy. I think I followed the rules (my rules anyways) for a good angsty fic.
1) withdrawn character check
2) dramatic/mysterious problem check
3) fight check
4) blood check
5) big, evil cliffie check check CHECK
MWAHAHAhahahahahI just love a good cliffie, don't you?
So, what's the verdict? Is he dead? (he sounds dead to me ;))
Special Thanks to:
Yakari Taito: smiles I know Yamato has been sort of missing in the last few chapters, but I hope I made up for it in this one. The next one will have any Yamato fan happy, it'll be another letter written by the bishounen himself. Feel free to visit my other story if you want. I'm quite proud of it so far and I don't think you need to know too much about BB because I've sort of twisted that world for my own needs. Blushes Aren't I bad, plugging my own stories bad author!
Yamato Fangirl: laughs Darn, thought that dodge would work. Since you don't believe in 'angst-hidden' I made it a bit more obvious ;) And feel free to make any request you want, just like I feel free to continue to do whatever I want giggles Sorry, couldn't resist. Some chapters will be long, some short. The next one will most likely be another long one. We'll see (whenever I can update)
Blondie121147: No, there wouldn't be any couplings in the story. There are plenty of good couples stories on ffnet, I like to provide some good brotherly and friendship ones. Sadly I don't think that if Matt survives, he will be in any shape to make a relationship in this story. Rape'll kinda do that to you. Tk is getting closer to figuring Matt out, but I think it is a bit late, what's the saying 'the shitth hath hitth the fan.'
CharmedBookwormFeel free to kill any gods, my muses seem to come from my own demented soul. Since you are blood-thirsty, I hope you'll appreciate the blood in this chapter. I don't believe in gushing and splattering, I think a simple, subtle touches create more drama. Hope it worked.
Violette Mai: Thanks for the review. I'm so glad you like the setting around the plot. I like to do things a bit different than everyone else. I will do my best to keep it interesting. And I know how it will end, so never fear. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I only write what I already know how to finish. This means all my stories will be completed, but I can't make guarantees on the speed of updates. Hope you stay with me.
Sutzina Zion: smiles Thanks for the compliment. I love a good angsty fic myself. Hope you continue to enjoy it as the road gets darker. Ja ne!
Fey Phantom: smiles Did you like the snowball fight? ;) I thought it went very well laughs And this one as a comedy? Well, I guess you're right, compared to A World So Cold, this one is like a kid on a sugar high. Don't worry, though, this one is going to get plenty dark. The light chapters are extra light, sort of to balance the darkness to come. And you are right about Joe's patch up jobs. Really, is there any way Matt could be that clumsy. Plus, always be suspicious of a 'clumsy' person that you never actually see act clumsy. There's likely to be something deeper. I did love my calculus class, the teacher was one of the best I ever had. I think he was the only reason I passed ;)
Syaoran-Lover: So? How was Matt's return? I know, it's still about him, but not really revealing him. It may be frustrating, but there is a method to my madness. Everything is about him, but not always where you see it. Don't worry, next chapter is another letter. Matt at his best and worst. Look forward to seeing you then :)
Amanda: I hope you are as happy with this chapter. I know the wait is hard, but hopefully it's worth it. Now we fall into the angst
Yamatoforever Sorry, Matt's indisposed right now. The next letter will be another one from the past. It will hopefully give some insight in what happened to cause his change and his regression to his withdrawn behavior. A like solving mysteries almost as much as I like making them ;) You did a good job reading into Matt's behavior so far. You went deeper than I laid out. Matt is preparing for his death, but there is more to it (or maybe less, who knows) ;P Stick around and find out ;)
IkanaI hope by now, you've read it ;P Sadly, I won't be writing incest in this story. If you want to see it here, feel free to see whatever undertone that you like, but there will be no overt shonen ai or yaoi in this story. I hope you enjoy it for it's other merits and complexities
Destiny: Thanks for the review. Hope you enjoy the update ;)
Curtis Zidane Ziraa: smiles Poor Matt, ne. Well, he was stuck, but now he seems to have gotten past that laughs Probably not the was you were looking for ;P Did you like?
Babymar-mar: laughs People always want to kill the bad guys in my stories. I'll take that as a compliment that I am making a worthy bad guy.
WolfsbanesHybrid smiles happily Good lyrics, ne. It's another of my hidden-angst clues for Matt. I'm picking songs and lyrics that match what I feel is Matt's behavior. Matt is pretending to all the world that he is just like the next guy. That he is what everyone expects him to be ;) And he definitely thinks it is right for him to do it. He is worth sacrificing for his friends and his brother, after all the 'very worst part' of them is himself. Fell free to recite any other lyrics :) Glad you like everything so far.
Well, that's it for now. I hope everyone liked the return to the overt angst ;P And anyone who was saving their reviews until it got good and dark again. Well, feel free to review now ;)
See ya next chappie!!
