Link of Middle Earth
Disclaimer: Yay!!!! The fourth chapter is here!!!!!! All hail the fourth chapter!!! Jk. Anywho! I am very excited that this will be mucho funnier than the other chapters! I don't own Zelda or LOTR! Although I do own a Legolas, Kenshin, Evanescence, Jack Sparrow, and Middle Earth (map) Posters!!!!! (Kenshin's a wall scroll!!!) Enjoy! (And envy the posters!!!!)
What the hell's a worm baby?!
Link searched fervently for his blue shirt ("HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU?! IT'S A TUNIC! TU-NIC!!!! MUST I BEAT IT INTO YOUR ENDLESS PIT OF YOUR AUTHORIAN BRAIN?!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S-A-TUNIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Link) Okay…his tunic ("thank you!!!") in his overlarge hat.
"Link…" asked Legolas staring as Link was half way swallowed into his hat looking for his tunic, "Why would your tunic be in you HAT?"
"Where do you think I keep everything?" asked Link sarcastically, "up my ass???"
"Link!!!" yelled Gandalf, "watch your language!!!!!"
"That's just the way I talk!!!" Link snapped back at the old wizard. "The hat trick is a Hyalian thing, don't ask why we do it, we just do…AH HA!!!! There it is!!!" yelled Link as he pulled a large sea blue tunic out of his hat.
"I can do that!" said the wizard, quite disdainfully, "watch!!!" Gandalf took of his battered hat and waved his staff over it, nodded, reached in it and pulled a bow out of it.
"I can do that too." Said Link simply. Link reached into his hat and pulled out his fairy bow and Giant's Quiver. "No biggy."
"Watch this!" Gandalf yelled as he reached in to pull out…a bunny…the fellowship stared at the fuzzy animal wiggle it's pink nose.
"Awwww…. how cute…" said Link watching the hobbits crowd around the white fur ball. "I got a better 'trick!'" Link put his quiver on his back and strung an arrow into his fairy bow; his eyes gazed around the landscape. He spotted a tree, four or five miles off, his hair started to blow in the breeze when suddenly the arrows tip, burst into flame. The fellowship jumped back appalled at what happened, Link pulled back and shot the arrow right into an eye in the tree. Legolas watched the arrow hit the eye astonished at Link's accuracy.
"I can do that!" said Legolas indignantly, Link stepped aside as Legolas took his spot and strung an arrow into his bow; Legolas took aim, and fired. The arrow zipped right through Link's arrow. Link stared floored as Legolas puffed out his chest as he always did when he bested Link.
"Lucky shot." Grumbled Link.
"That was no lucky shot my mutant friend." Said Legolas enthusiastically, "That…was skill." Link acted as if he didn't hear Legolas' evil comment.
Later, halfway up the dumb mountain…grumble…
"Hey Gimli," called Link to the dwarf who was struggling terribly through the thick powdery snow. "Need help?"
"That…would…be…great…" puffed Gimli. Legolas looked back wondering if Link was engaging in a friendship with the dwarf to cause him hell. Link picked up the dwarf and slung him over his back; and with that single moment, Link and Gimli sank into the snow. Gimli's helm was the only thing you could see popping out of the snow. Legolas laughed insanely.
"AHAHAHAHAHA!!! LINK YOU FOOL!!! YOU CAN'T HOLD A DWARF OVER YOUR HEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLIZZARD!!!" Legolas cackled.
"Sure I can…" mumbled Link under the snow; he threw Gimli up onto the top layer of snow and started to do some weird arm movements. Suddenly a stream of fire trailed its way up the mountain, leaving a clearing to walk in. "see…piece of cake!" said Link simply as he trudged up the trail.
Later on the same, stupid, goddess damned mountain…
It started to snow severely, and Link could see Frodo holding the ring as if his life was tied to it. One time his eyes started to roll…that was down right creepy…just down right wrong!!! Thought Link fervently as Aragorn checked if Frodo was warm enough…I don't think that's from him bein' cold, Mr. Tinkles... (Link had seen Aragorn empty himself behind a bush right next to Gandalf. Twitch twitch…) Link was so bored he walked up to try to make peace with the elven worm baby. (INVADER ZIM!!!! takes a cupcake she took from Gir and stuffs it into her mouth… I miss my cupcake…cry)
"Soooo…erm…what's up?" Link asked Legolas as they walked up the snowy mountain. (CURSE THIS CURSED MOUNTAIN!!!!)
"………..Nothing…" said Legolas slowly as he stared at the Hyalian. "………Why?"
"Hey. Wanna see a cool trick?!" asked Link excitedly.
"Do I really want to?" Legolas asked hesitantly.
"Yeah! Watch." Said Link turning around to the rest of the fellowship. He pointed his finger at Gimli and a little bolt of fire flew from the tip of his finger and right into the dwarf's head. Legolas busted up laughing and quickly turned around in unison with Link.
"That was awesome!!! How did you do that?" asked Legolas suddenly realizing Link wasn't a threat of any kind. Legolas happened to be a very good judge of character.
"Eeeehhhh…"said Link waving his hand lamely, "Hyalian thing." Legolas and Link started to laugh. "I guess you're not too bad for a elven worm baby."
"Elven worm baby????? What the hell is that???!!!!" asked Legolas laughing. "if that is what I am, then I guess you're a Hyalian worm baby!"
"No…I'm a perfectly NORMAL Hyalian worm baby." Corrected Link.
Howdy!!! Well Legolas and Link have joined forces to soon pull incredibly evil pranks on the rest of the fellowship. Mainly Gimli. Thank you for your helpful ideas for the torture of the fellowship! Please review as soon as possible, which means right after you finish reading the chapter!!!! Please R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankx!!!
D.Seifer
