Chapter 24. X-Men, Brotherhood- we're all just trying to survive.
"...What do you want to know?"
Logan paused. He hadn't been sure that would work, and now that it had, he was somewhat surprised.
"First off, tell me what happened with you and those," he said, nodding to Lance's arm, and in effect, his injuries.
Putting his hand over the arm automatically, Lance stared down at the floor, wondering if there was any possible way to get out of this. But as usual, there was no escape. Not for him.
"...I..." he paused, hesitating once more. "...I...Mystique..." he sighed, eyes never daring to wander up. Nervously he continued.
"...Mystique used to slap us around sometimes, all of us. She quit trying with Fred after the first time because it was no use, but she did hit Todd and Pietro too, not just me."
Recollecting the beginning, he realized how foolish he had been then- foolish enough to hope that things would not get worse. His whole life went in the other direction; why would it have stopped all of a sudden?
Shaking his head, Lance continued.
"...But it wasn't really all that bad... we're all used to getting knocked about now and then. Every once in a while, it was worse, but it was still okay... It didn't get really bad until later."
He stopped there, not wanting to go on.
Logan waited for a moment, but when the teen didn't say anything more, he nodded and with a question, signaled him to continue.
"How does Sabertooth come in?"
Shifting nervously, Lance glanced up at Logan's shoes for a second before his gaze settled back onto the floor. His voice barely audible and subdued, he clenched his fists tightly, willing the memories away. Willing the nightmares away.
"...I never meant for it to happen."
"Do you zink zey are all right? Ve haven't seen Pietro since lunch."
"I'm sure they're fine, Kurt," Jean assured. "I still can't believe you didn't stop them, Scott," she said, turning to the sunglasses-wearing teen.
"I didn't think Tabby would punch him like that. At least they didn't use their powers. Well they did, but only for a moment," Scott said, recalling the incident with less remorse than Jean would have liked.
"I guess it couldn't be helped," Jean finally sighed.
Sometimes, she was so mixed up, between the X-Men and Duncan. While the X-Men were like a second family to her, she felt that she couldn't always side with them; otherwise she'd be unfair to Duncan. And vice versa. It was so confusing sometimes- much of the time. And right now, with everything happening with the Brotherhood, she was having a hard time making sense out of anything.
"At least they are holding back from using their powers," the red head paused for a moment before hesitantly continuing.
"...They seem so... tired. I could feel it on them. It was so strong."
"Vell, zey are probably vorried about Lance," Kurt shrugged.
"Yeah, Alvers wasn't looking so good when we left..." Scott nodded, remembering the way Lance had seemed, standing by a window, looking out as they left for school. He was pretty sure the other eighteen-year-old hadn't noticed that he had been spotted, but that mattered little as Scott realized just how tired Lance had seemed. It hadn't really registered till now, but Lance's usually healthy appearance had deteriorated greatly in the last several months. Frowning at the fact that he hadn't noticed it before, Scott pondered the issue for a moment before he was lightly tapped out of his thoughts.
"Hello? Scott, are you zere?"
"Huh? Yeah. Sorry Kurt. I was just thinking. I guess I zoned out. Where did Jean go?"
"To class. Ve passed her room vhile you vere off in your vorld. And ve just missed your class," Kurt pointed behind them, and indeed, the entrance to Scott's class was a few feet away.
"Oh, didn't see that. Thanks Kurt. I should get going," Scott nodded to his class as he started back.
"Yeah, you don't vant to be late," Kurt teased with a good-natured grin. "I vill see you later, zen."
"Sure, later Kurt."
"...I...If I had known... I would never have let it happen."
Known what? Let what happen? Logan didn't know, but he had a bad feeling about it. Bad enough that he didn't pressure Lance, sitting silently, waiting for the teen to continue, or not, of his own will.
"...One time, Sabertooth came; something about talking to Mystique. Well she was... disciplining us... something we did at school I think, I don't remember what. He decided to join in, just because," Lance shuddered at the memory, unable to control himself and keep from quivering.
Curling his arms around himself, he looked at the floor, waiting for some comment, some blow. He was not allowed to mention this topic, and he knew that far too well. Why he had, he didn't even know. He was already regretting it.
Noting the heightened level of fear around the other, Logan growled, exasperated with himself for being unable to do anything about this.
Lance, however, took the growl as a sign of pending punishment, and immediately lowered his gaze further, drawing into himself.
Logan sighed, mentally shouting at himself for not keeping himself in check.
"I'm not gonna hurt you," he repeated firmly. But it did little good, and Lance was still just as anxious.
"Look at me," he said; making sure his voice was calmer, and gentler, this time.
Dejected at the order, Lance slowly raised his gaze, stopping just below Logan's shoulders. He was terrified, but he hid it better than Logan would've ever imagined prior to this day.
Logan grimly wondered if it was due to experience.
Lance tensed up rigidly as Logan leaned forward, expecting retribution. It hadn't been once that someone had punished him for such an open act of defiance, regardless of being ordered to or not. But Logan merely tipped his face up, making the teen look up.
Logan sighed inwardly as Lance, though not offering any resistance and never moving, refused to meet his eyes, panic vivid. Just how much abuse had he gone through, to be so petrified at the simplest things?
Even Mystique, who Lance now considered the least of the three evils and even a savior during the worst of Sabertooth's beatings, would have cuffed him on the spot, and predictably on the side of his face. Lance silently wondered what was keeping this other mutant from doing the same.
Fearfully he looked up as Logan again repeated his previous words, but once more Lance could not work up the nerve to stare him in the eyes, despite the direct command. He briefly wondered if this was another 'game', but pushed the thought out of his mind when Logan spoke once more. He expected some rebuke from the other, to say the least, but there was no 'lecture', no 'lesson'. Instead of reprimanding him, Logan spoke calmly, maintaining his gentler tone.
"I won't hurt you."
Lance immediately let his gaze drop once Logan let go of him, but it wasn't fast enough to hide his surprise.
"...Why do you get more... nervous, around me than anyone else?" Logan asked after a moment. He had a feeling he already knew most of the answer, but he had to know the full story.
Lance glanced up, his eyes resting on Logan's feet for a moment before dropping down once more. Wondering if this was a trick question, and if he was supposed to answer or not, he hesitated. When Logan gave no elaboration on the matter, he spoke timidly, his voice submissive and awaiting reproof.
"...Because... you... you..." he closed his eyes, his next words even quieter than the ones previous. "He was the worst."
"It's just... Ah'm worried about them. Not just Lance, all of them, Kitty," Rogue sighed.
"Ah can't say Ah really know them, like they do with each other, but Ah do know enough about what happened before tah know that they're not all right. This Lance thing is really bad for them."
"I thought you like, didn't really talk to them back when you were with them?" Kitty asked, somewhat confused, but nonetheless in agreement at being concerned.
"Ah mostly kept tah mahself. Ah didn't really talk tah anyone back then. But Ah did absorb them; remember? Everyone but Todd and Tabitha."
"Oh, right, you absorbed Pietro back when the whole Asteroid M thing happened," Kitty recalled with a frown, as the experience had not been a particularly pleasant one.
"And... Fred that night..." she trailed off, recalling the night with mixed feelings. That night, the Brotherhood, including Lance, had tried to expose mutants to the world that night.
But that wasn't what really stuck in Kitty's mind. No, the one thing she couldn't forget was how Lance had looked, unconscious after being crushed by the statue. His thin metal plates of armor were what saved him from serious damage, but she could guess that it wouldn't be a pleasant experience all the same.
And all for her.
Every time she thought about it, she couldn't help but wonder what would've happened had he not pushed her out of the way- her uniform, despite being her battle garb, did not remotely offer even the small kind of protection Lance's did.
Pushing the thought out of her mind and focusing on the present once more, Kitty turned her attention back on Rogue.
"But when did you absorb Lance?"
"The time Ah had that nightmare about Kurt and Mystique..." Rogue sighed. "Ah really hate this power sometimes."
"Well, try to look at it this way: at least it doesn't hurt you or anything," Kitty offered, attempting to cheer her friend up. It was only after she said the words that she realized what exactly she had said.
As Kitty fell silent, Rogue let out a soft sigh.
"Ah don't know what's going on anymore."
"After the first time... I couldn't let him hurt them again, to stand aside and let it happen. I couldn't let him do that to them, not them. But I couldn't do anything to stop him. Mystique, Magneto, they were like him, and they were all on the same side. Even if they weren't backing him up, I don't know if I could've done anything... So... I... I... I can take a lot more hits than they can."
Strangely enough, despite the quieter volume, Lance's voice was firmer than before, and after a moment Logan realized that the deep-rooted devotion supporting his words was what made them stronger.
"Usually I can tell when he's just about ready to start something. He's easy to distract, once you get him aggravated. It's a system... I get in Sabertooth's way; I get him mad; he beats me up. The pattern's always the same," Lance murmured, his tone colder, no, more distant. Logan briefly wondered if the teen was still aware of his presence.
"But he didn't touch anyone else, and that's all that matters." He seemed to have drifted off, and his eyes, still downcast, had gone unfocused.
"It's... ironic... isn't it? I always lure him, baiting him like that, but he's the one that beats me up. Who wins there? I got what I planned, but so did he."
This was not one of the moods Logan had been expecting.
By now he was ready for the following- angry and aggressive, depressed and defensive, skeptical and suspicious, protective and possessive, and now, even fearful and subdued. This new side of Lance was one Logan wasn't ready for. Before, even when he was depressed, Lance had retained his temper, ready to lash back.
But at the present, he sounded completely devoid of emotion: anger, mirth, or anything else. The only slightest trace of feeling was the deep bitterness that mingled amidst the emptiness.
For the first time since the topic had been brought up, Lance seemed to once again acknowledge Logan's presence, looking up, though even now, his eyes would not meet Logan's. They had a glazed-over characteristic about them, but at the same time they were clearly lucid; hopelessness filled the voids.
"He won, didn't he?"
Tabitha Smith sighed, leaning back in her chair. Her feet were propped up on her desk, and she was staring out the window.
"I know what you mean," Pietro muttered from next to her, glancing at the clock for the umpteenth time.
"Time could not be going any slower. I'd say the clock was broken, but it is moving- at the pace of the deterioration of space. And on top of all that, I'm me! As if things aren't slow enough already."
"Yeah yeah, it's just as bad for me," Tabitha replied, turning to look at him. "Did you get into anything today?"
"What, me? Of course not," feigning an offended attitude, Pietro gave her a well-practiced indignant look.
"'Tro."
"Oh fine. I got mad at Daniels. But I didn't do anything; so stop going Lance on me. It's weird when you do it," he grinned.
"It's like you're a mom or something," he snickered.
"Oh that's it, you're getting it for that," Tabitha smirked, accepting the joke.
"But seriously, Pietro, if he bothers you that much, I'll tell him off for you. I mean, you do it all the time, but if he hears it from someone else, he'll probably go."
"Nah, it's just Daniels. I'm used to him being annoying. Besides, I guess I don't do my best at keeping him away either."
"Yeah, I guess..." Tabitha trailed off, knowing Pietro well enough to read in between the lines. "But the offer stands, Quickie."
"I'd make the same offer for you and whatever's going on between you and Rogue, but we're supposed to get along now," Pietro replied, half serious, half joking. The latter half disappeared however, when he noticed his friend's eyes darkening.
"What the hell's between you two? Rogue says she doesn't even know."
"Do you believe her?" Tabitha asked, the question serving not only to get an answer but also to distract the white-haired boy from his own question.
Pietro shrugged. "I don't know... Hey... Tabby, want to hear something?" Without waiting for an answer he already knew, Pietro continued, though in an even lower voice this time.
"I don't really trust her... just more so than the other X-Geeks."
The statement seemed to have caught Tabitha off-guard, though not as much as it might have.
"Why not?"
"She's still an X-Geek. Lance says 'once a Brotherhood, always a Brotherhood', but I don't know. Todd and Freddy are just happy to get along; you and I both know that, even if other people don't. Me, I'm not so sure."
"So... you don't trust her because she's an X-Man? Wait, what about me? I was one, even if it was just for a little while," Tabitha replied, her tone playful but conveying a more solemn message behind it that she knew Pietro would pick up on.
"No, you're different," Pietro replied. "You... you fit with us. But, then again, you could fit anywhere, huh?"
That statement definitely caught her off-guard.
"What?"
Pietro looked at her, not quite getting the reason for her surprise.
"Well yeah, Tabby. You just could. I mean, the X-Geeks didn't really mind having you around, did they?"
Tabitha stared at him for a moment, not quite sure what to say to that.
"Pietro..." she turned away, looking out the window and at the cerulean sky, rather than into the azure eyes of the speedster.
"I don't fit there," she murmured to herself, the words barely audible.
Realizing that he had hit one of the chords that were meant to be missed, Pietro quickly changed the subject, offering her his short version of apology.
"Anyhow, she doesn't get us. You do. Which is why you're one of us and she's one of them. They don't understand us," he paused. "And they have no sense of humor," he added after a moment, studying the girl for her reaction. He was relieved to see a grin break out across her features, and continued.
"I think they're too much of geeks to understand the finer points of our pranks."
Turning back to Pietro, Tabitha grinned characteristically.
"Well they still haven't seen even half of what we've got. Too bad we can't do anything today."
"Um, yeah, about that..."
Tabitha raised an eyebrow at Pietro, not sure if she wanted to ask this question.
"...Pietro... did you do something?"
"Now that would depend on how you define-"
"Pietro, we were supposed to stay clean!" Tabitha snapped, though she couldn't raise her voice, since they weren't alone.
Pietro gave her an apologetic look, though he seemed far from feeling guilty.
"But I couldn't resist! Anyhow, it was only on Matthews's moron gang... I trashed their lockers."
"Them? But we already had a fight with them."
"Yeah, but they started the fight."
Tabitha sighed. "Pietro."
"All right sorry, sorry. I still think I was right though," Pietro mumbled.
"Lance's going to get ticked off when he hears about the fight, so you'd better think of a good way to break the news," Tabitha replied, glancing at the clock.
"Got one already," Pietro grinned as he took out some candy, handing Tabitha a handful of the sweet confections as well.
"I was dealing with locker trouble," he said through chocolate.
Tabitha rolled her eyes as she took off the cover of one of the taffy pieces and tossed it in her mouth.
"Like that'll work. Who do you think he is, the X-Geeks?"
"Hey, good idea, I can use the same excuse on the X-Geeks if they find out and bother us about it."
"They probably know. Summers saw the fight, so the rest probably know about that. Freddy told me Rogue knows, so she knows for certain," she paused, turning from the clock to Pietro.
"So what are you going to do about her, anyhow?"
"I don't know," Pietro admitted. "It's not like she'll be hanging around with us a lot, especially not after we leave. Why set yourself up, you know? Besides, I don't really trust her yet... she's still an X-Geek... I'm not sure how I feel about her. But I'm willing to give her another shot."
Nodding, Tabitha turned away, looking out the window once more.
"...Second chances are rare in life..." she murmured quietly.
"Tabitha Smith! Pietro Maximoff! If you continue to disrupt this class with your side conversations, I will send you down to detention! Miss Smith, get your feet off the desk! Mr. Maximoff, there is no food allowed in this class, and that includes candy!"
Rolling their eyes, the two teens gave each other a well-used look.
They highly doubted that anyone was paying them any attention; they were far enough in the back of the class that they couldn't really hear the others either, at least not without trying.
Plus they were the only two in the far corner, and thus isolated- another factor contributing to the dubiousness of their actions 'disrupting the class'.
Lastly, if anyone was bothering to listen in on other people's conversations, it was improbable that anyone would be listening to theirs, since there was much more 'interesting' gossip going around in the class, and openly at that. That was one of the few things they liked about this school. No one bothered to pay any attention to them unless it was for a fight, so they actually had a fair amount of privacy, all things considered.
A silver lining to every cloud, possibly- though frankly, that theory didn't work out so well in their lives.
Even now they were being singled out for incrimination, when practically the entire class was responsible for the same acts. 'Practically', because a few X-Geeks also happened to be in the class, and they were usually good at paying attention to whatever mechanical information the teacher was feeding them.
Nonetheless, Pietro scooped the candy up, tossing the handful back into his bag, and Tabitha took her feet off the desk. They smirked at seeing the shocked expression cross the teacher's face, realization dawning on her- that her threat of detention had seemingly worked, but unable to process the information.
Silver lining indeed.
"...he won. They all did."
Logan looked at the battered boy with deep concern in his eyes, no longer trying to hide it, as subconsciously as it may have been.
At first he was overrun with fury, his anger at Sabertooth, Mystique, and Magneto nothing like it had ever been before. But seeing Lance, Logan realized that now was not the time to plot revenge, but to try to help the casualties.
"No. You survived. You beat him. You won."
Lance's gaze dropped once more, but this time it was not out of fear, but because he didn't have the will or strength to face the other.
"...I...I don't believe you."
"You have to."
"...I'm going to die soon, aren't I?"
Logan took a second to recover from the sudden change in topic.
"No, you'll make it through this."
"...I don't..."
"You don't believe me. I know. But you're going to have to give me a chance here. Believe that if you're not going to believe anything else I say. That and this- I will never do what Sabertooth did to you."
"...I," Lance started, but stopped, shaking his head, more to himself than anything else.
...Can I have an aspirin?"
Raising an eyebrow, wondering for a second if this was to change the subject or if he simply needed more medication, Logan nodded and got up, walking to the medicine cabinet.
"Freedom!" Evan declared as he dropped his skateboard, snapping on his helmet. At long last the school bell had rung, and the school hours were over. The only thing left to do was enjoy the day.
"I'm going to hit the ramps; catch you later!"
"Evan! Wait!"
Disappointed to be delayed, Evan turned to Jean.
"What?"
"Don't you think we should stay near home today?" Jean said, nodding towards the end of the sidewalk, where the Brotherhood was talking.
"But... do I have to? It's not like Maximoff and I even get along."
"Aren't you curious about vhat's going on vith Lance?" Kurt asked.
"Not enough to stay around Pietro," Evan mumbled.
Nonetheless he picked up his skateboard once more, and waited with the rest of the X-Men as Rogue, then Kitty, and lastly Scott, exited from the school building.
"Hey guys, sorry I took so long. Had to stay after class to discuss an English paper. Did anything happen with the Brotherhood?"
Kitty shook her head in response to Scott's question.
"No- can we go? I'm really worried about Lance."
"Yeah, sorry," Scott apologized once more, but paused at noticing the Brotherhood on the sidewalk.
Realizing what was on his mind, Jean put a hand on his shoulder.
"Scott, maybe we should offer them a ride."
"Do you think so too?"
"Forget it, I'm not getting a ride back with them!" Evan exclaimed.
"Evan, why can't yah at least try tah get along?" Rogue rolled her eyes. "The rest of us are."
"Hey, that's my business. Look, Pietro and I have some bad history- he wouldn't want to get in the same car with me either."
"Maybe it's time to change that, Evan," Jean suggested.
Evan shook his head. "It's not something I can change. Can we drop this?"
"Never mind, I don't think it matters anymore- they like, already left," Kitty cut in, nodding towards the empty sidewalk.
"I don't think they would've wanted a ride anyhow."
"Maybe ve should get going, zen," Kurt said.
Scott nodded, heading for his car. "Yeah. Come on, let's go."
After handing the earth-shaking teen a couple capsules, not wanting to risk anything by handing him the whole bottle, and a cup of water, Logan turned back around to put the medicine away.
All through out, he kept a worried eye on Lance, wondering if he should call Charles or Ororo or Hank down, or if that would only have the teen fall into a relapse of the day's previous incident once more.
Lance silently took the pills, so used to it that the action no longer even required effort.
It wasn't till Logan headed back and reached his seat that Lance spoke again.
"...It's..." he paused, and Logan wondered if there would be any possible way to prepare himself with a good answer for whatever was coming next.
"...It's almost time for school to end."
It hadn't been easy.
Waiting for school to end; actually staying in classes; not pulling any pranks... but at long last, school was over.
And the Brotherhood was headed back for the Xavier Institute, first running, and then walking when they could no longer run.
Pietro, to his later partial dismay, had decided to walk with them instead of going ahead, not wanting to leave them behind.
They had decided to talk about this whole school idea, and make some kind of arrangement so that at least one of the Brotherhood members could stay with Lance during his recovery.
They had taken a secluded route, lest the X-Men pass by, and when they reached the mansion, they noted with some dislike that the original inhabitants had gotten there first. But then again, they had taken cars, so it wasn't too big of a surprise.
The four walked past the gate, a little surprised that it opened so easily for them.
It was only then that they noticed the figure standing by the door, leaning partially against the wall. Seeing them, he pushed off the wall and made his way towards them.
For some reason, time went a lot slower as the Brotherhood regrouped, everyone talking at the same time to give news of what had happened during the day and get their friend up-to-date.
Listening to them and watching them talk animatedly as they described and then, feeling the need to show him more accurately what had happened, acted out the fight, Lance smiled.
