Link of Middle Earth
Disclaimer: Hiya! Sorry I had to take a break from writing this. I got tired, my computer was being crap again, and at the moment I won't have any Internet until the 18th of Febuary! Gaaaaaahhhhh…Slams into a nearby wall Owwwwwiiiieeeeee! Also I got a dangerous disease…WRITER'S…BLOCK! Duh duh duh! Sniff…oh well! I was watching the extended versions of LOTR and recovered instantly. Sense I seem to be having a hard time getting of the crappy mountain; we will start near the walls of Moria. So IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THAN DON'T FRIGGIN' READ THE STORY! GRRRRRRR! Please read and review! I don't own LOZ or LOTR so on with the friggin' story!
Back to the Senses
Link and Legolas realized that the cold and boredom had taken their brains and instantly when they got so bored that they decided to torture the Hobbits and when they came to they started to fight with the little pretty boy moves that we just love sooooooo much. Aragorn, (aka. "Mr. Tinkles") decided to just let them battle until they either died, or fainted with exhaustion. Gandalf (aka. "Mr. Wrinkles") just gave up entirely and just watched Boromir (aka. "Sir Speaks-A-Lot") Gimli (aka. "Mr. Ass") try to tug helplessly at the battling green clad hotties.
"And here we thought that we were going to just have to worry about the Hobbits." Sighed Aragorn as he sharpened his sword alongside Gandalf.
"Could you go help them, Aragorn?" asked Gandalf warily, with his head down. "I need to talk to Frodo." Aragorn sighed, but started toward Link, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir. Link pulled on Legolas' braids as Legolas pulled on Link's long bangs. Aragorn took his sword and dagger and held them to the warring pretty boys' necks and pushed them away.
"You two will not speak one unkind word or make one unkind gesture towards each other for the duration of this trip or I will personally give each of you hair cuts! Read me!" Link and Legolas held every strand of hair on their head, looked at each other for a second, and nodded fervently in unison. Aragorn nodded in approval only to be interrupted by Gimli.
"The walls! Of Moria!" Gimli gasped pointing to the side of the mountain. Everyone stared wondering where Gimli was pointing.
Alongside the walls of Moria trying to find the entrance that could take an eternity…
"Dwarven walls are impossible to find when you don't know where they are." Said Gimli excitedly banging his axe against the rocks of the mountain.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Asked Legolas to himself. Link silently agreed. Gimli ignored him.
"Even their own masters wouldn't be able to find them if their secrets forgotten." Added Gandalf he ran his hands along the rocks and found some lines carved in the side of the mountain, then murmured to himself.
"Iselien…" Gandalf said as he turned around and stared into the sky. "Mirrors only starlight, and moonlight." Link watched the clouds quickly move away from the moon and saw the lines in the mountain glow radiantly just like the moon. Gandalf stood back quite pleased with himself.
"Now what?" Link asked. Legolas glared at him as if saying 'he knows what he's doing so bug out!'
Gandalf raised his staff and said in a booming voice, "Anon a felden! Edro ki anae!"
"Nothin's happening'." Pippin said to Aragorn. Gandalf said some cruel stuff and chanted some more spells.
"I used to know all the spells in the tongues of dwarves, elves, and orcs." Gandalf grumbled while fingering at the engravings. Link sighed and plopped down by the lakeside. Merry got up and stared at the door. (In the book it's Merry that solves the riddle. In my fan fiction, stolen parts are taken back. Of course sometimes I can't remember them all so please do not call me a hypocrite.)
"It's a riddle!" He said quickly. "What's the elvish word for 'friend'?"
"Mellon…" Gandalf said slowly. The great rock doors seemed to magically open on invisible hinges. Everyone gasped and murmured as they walked inside the doorway.
"Now Master Elf," Said Gimli to Legolas as Link walked behind him. "You will taste the fabled hospitality of the dwarves! Roaring fires! Malt beer! Ripe meat of the bone!" Gandalf put a crystal into his staff and blew over it, setting it aglow. Gimli went on with his sales pitch. "This is the home of cousin Balin, and they call it a mine. A MINE!" Gimli laughed at the thought that the dark, horrid, place was called a mine; Boromir stared around and a thought struck him like an arrow.
"This is no mine." He began. "This is a tomb!" The hobbits retreated as they saw the skeletons of dwarves with arrows poking out of every imaginable place in the body. "Get out! Get out now!" Link drew his sword as Legolas pulled an arrow from a nearby skeleton.
"Goblins." Legolas pulled out his bow and strung an arrow. Link thought this was just like every other dungeon that he's been in and that they are just big wussies, except he followed everyone else only to hear the hobbits squeaking on about one of them being missing. Link turned around to see a huge sea monster with on of the hobbits by the foot in one of it's many tendrils. The hobbits slashed the first arm away only to be slapped away and helplessly watch as the rest of the members fight the damned creature! Link saw Legolas shoot one of the arms and Link chopped three with the energy spiral attack that he knew so well. Boromir caught Frodo and heard Gandalf screaming for everyone to get into the mines. Link grabbed Legolas as he was trying to kill the monster even though no one was in danger. Legolas screamed and kicked as Link dragged him away. Gandalf struck his staff in the ground twice and stared dismally at the empty halls.
"So we must face the long dark of Moria." He said as the fellowship followed his light. "Be on your watch, there are more things than orcs in the deep places of the world. It's a four-day journey to the other side." 'Ohhhhh… joy…" thought Link miserably.
Day 2…
The fellowship walked over a mining shaft; Gandalf turned up the light a bit and held his staff over the shaft. "The wealth of Moria isn't in gold, or jewels…but in Mithril." Everyone was amazed at brilliant silver-like material that shown in the rocks. Merry leaned over to get a closer look only to have Pippin warily push him back so Merry wouldn't fall over. Link thought it would be cool to make a sword of Mithril and bring it back to Hyrule but decided to see just how this 'trip' was going to turn out.
Day 3…
Link thought miserably that this was worse than the thought of marrying Ruto for the rest of eternity. :Shudder: The fellowship reached a path that split four ways.
"I have no memory of this place." Gandalf said slowly. 'DAMN IT, WE'RE DOOMED!' thought Link.
Day 5…
'We were supposed to be out of this decrepit place yesterday!' thought Link angrily only to hear Merry and Pippin talking.
"Merry."
"What?"
"I'm hungry."
"Where's the weed?" (Link stared at the hobbits wondering what kind of weed they were talking about.00;;)
"Erm…Eh heh heh…"
"By the Valar we're doomed."
'No duh!' thought Link, knowing Merry had the all around point. Link saw Gandalf and Frodo talking on a rock and saw Gandalf suddenly straighten.
"AH!" he said quickly. "It's that way."
"Gandalf's remembered!" Merry said as he stood up.
"'BOUT FRIGGIN' TIME WRINKLES!" Yelled Link as he got up to gather his effects.
"No," Gandalf replied, "It doesn't smell so fowl down here. If ever lost Meriadoc, follow your nose."
I was going to make this longer but I've already spent 5 days finishing this one chapter. So I hope you enjoyed this chappie and up next in Link of Middle Earth is the fabled tale of Gandalf's death which is bound to be funny.
D.Seifer
