Link of Middle Earth

Disclaimer: Sorry it took so long for me to update on this story, I don't seem to get so many reviews on this one…(sigh) Well, and I don't own LOTR or LOZ. So on with the show. This my not be as funny as the other ones because of Gandalf's 'death.' So I'll let you decide.

D.Seifer!


Plus' and Minus'


"DAMN IT!" Cursed Link as he tripped over a Dwarf skeleton. "Hey Gimli, I think this is your uncle!" Gimli started to cry as Legolas punched Link in the back of the head as Gandalf started to rat him out for being 'insensitive.' "I would be a little more sensitive if he hadn't put a rat in my cap as a joke!" Legolas punched him again just because it was fun how he would scream, howl, jump up and down swinging his sword, cussing him out. Gandalf stumped off just as Legolas sprinted past with Link flinging arrows in pursuit.

Link and Legolas rounded the corner and saw a doorway that had a block in the center.

"What the hell is this place supposed to be?" asked Link crudely as Legolas punched him again only to be kicked near the extremities as payback for the many punches. The rest of the Fellowship arrived behind the two warring pretty-boys. Gimli paused as he saw the room behind Link and Legolas.

"Ho!" he exclaimed, suddenly running into the room and falling too his knees.

'It's pitiful when you get to see a guy that's older than you are cry.' Thought Link sadly.

"Gimli!" Barked Gandalf, following the grieving dwarf. He gave his staff and hat to Pippin after he read the inscription (Link knew that was a bad move!) while Gimli howled and carried on; he picked up a large book that was held by a dwarf's skeleton and blew it off.

'I don't think he'd mind that we read that.' Thought Link, smirking at the thought of the skeleton springing to life and attacking Mr. Wrinkles for taking the book.

Gandalf started to read from the book when his sensitive ears picked up some type of scratching of metal on rock and loud screeches of some strange creatures in the upper level.

"We shouldn't linger." Legolas warned Aragorn. Did he hear what I just heard? Thought Link, for a second time in the trip agreeing with the prince. (That probably helps Link hate him because of the whole 'Zelda' thing) Just then, Pippin started to play with an arrow that was stuck inside a dwarf that was chained to a bucket that sat on a well.

'OH CRAP!' Thought Link. He ran to stop the doped up hobbit from doing something stupid but it was too late. The dwarf fell into the well with a loud clanging sound.

Crash!

Everyone turned around to see Pippin standing there getting the crap beaten out of him by Link for smoking that damn weed stuff they always talk about and how awesome it makes them feel and blah blah blah blah. Link got tackled by the three other hobbits only to easily throw them off of his back and started to beat them up too.

Boom…Booommmm…Boooooooommmmmmmm!

Everyone looked down the well as they heard the beating of drums. Everything was a blur of yelling and movement. Legolas was working with Boromir and Aragorn with the door. The hobbits were huddling with their swords behind Gandalf.

"What the hell did I get my self into!" moaned Link as he unsheathed his sword and pulled out his shield as he watched Gimli jump on the tomb and pulled out his axe.

"Let them come!" He growled, "There is yet a dwarf in Moria that still draws breath!"

"And can cry like a baby." Added Link under his breath as he decided that he could snipe from the upper "level" in the room; he walked to Legolas and explained his plan.

"ARE YOU NUTS!" yelled Legolas.

"It's the perfect way to catch them with a surprise attack from above!" Link explained as he watched the Men hold the door closed.

"Then I'm doing it too!" said Legolas quickly.

"Hell no!" yelled Link, "This was MY idea!"

"So! I can help!"

"You're not helping by making us fight!"

"You're the one who's continuing this argument instead of just allowing me to help!"

"'CAUSE YOU'LL SCREW IT UP! ARGH! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! I FINALLY GET AWAY FROM ONE ANNOIANCE AND I GET STUCK WITH ANOTHER!"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING AMONGST YOURSELVES AND SHOOT THESE DAMN ORCS!" Bellowed Gandalf as he took a swing at an oncoming Orc with his staff then hacking him to bits with Glamdring. Aragorn was busy trying to kill the troll using his sword. Link shrugged and pulled out an arrow, set it on fire with his magic, (causing Legolas to nearly crap himself) and started to fire them at the troll. The troll saw the Hylian and roared as it swung its hammer at the annoying thing with the large, thin, annoying, pieces of wood.

"MOVE!" Yelled Link as he pushed Legolas to the side as the troll brought down the hammer on the two pretty boys. Legolas was about to chew out Link for pushing him when he was preoccupied by troll's second swing.


Eh-heh heh heh…Sorry I had to cut it so short. This is really getting too long. It's already 4 pages and so I'm gonna make it to where there's a part two. Sorry...(Does sliding bow to the readers.) I'M SO UNWORTHY! I'M SO UNWORTHY, THAT I'M NOT WORTHY TO EAT THE DIRT MY REVIEWERS WALK ON! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! By the way…I'm sorry it took me so long to update because my computer was being a little B+#! (Grrrrrrrr) well please review and just this once I will allow you to tell me how unworthy I am to even look at my reviewers' faces…. (Cry!)

Thankses!

D.Seifer