Chapter 26. Zero to Infinity.
"This isn't fair," Todd murmured, glaring at a random carton of milk for a second longer before he slammed the door to the fridge closed.
"What isn't fair?" Fred looked over, taking a drink from his soda.
"Everything yo!" Todd exclaimed. "...It just hit me Freddy! The X-Men get to live in this huge mansion and everything, right? They don't gotta worry about bills and that stuff, right? None of them has to work all the time like Lance does for us or anything, right?"
"Right," Fred nodded, putting the can down as Todd let out a frustrated sigh.
"I mean, look at their kitchen! There are stacks of food here and stuff, yo! And we barely got anything at home. We probably won't even have water next month! Again!"
"But... it's always been like this, Todd. It's just the way things are."
"I know, I know. But Fred! It's not fair! It's not like I really mind any of that so much, I mean, this is the best I've had all my life, yo! I like living with you guys and the way things are. But this isn't fair! All that other stuff, we can live with that, it's all cool. I mean, it's not like we're not used to it. It's really the best we're gonna get, you know? But why should Lance be sick, when we already have all the other stuff! Why can't it be the X-Men for once? Why does it always gotta be us, yo? Why us?"
"Lance..."
Unable to say anything else, Kitty just hugged him. "I'm so sorry."
Wrapping his arms around her, Lance pulled her closer, uncertainty showing in his slight tremble. He wasn't sure how he noticed that his shirt was slowly dampening, Kitty in his arms. "...I didn't mean to make you cry..."
Silence asperse, no more words were passed.
"Hey Boom Boom, you all right kid?"
Raising an eyebrow at her silence, Logan glanced back at Charles for a moment before trying again. "Tabitha, you all right?"
"...I'm fine."
The two words were like stone, heavy yet dulled. A little taken aback by the lack of emotion in her voice, Logan looked at her, stepping closer and kneeling down next to her, partially to his own surprise. "Doesn't look like it."
"Looks can be deceiving. Leave me alone, Logan."
Now he knew for certain something was not right. All other things aside, she had called him by his name. His name, of all things. Not even Wolverine at that, but Logan. Coming back to the rest of the scene, the sentence before his name took him off guard- it wasn't the kind of a sentence he didn't expect Tabitha of all people to be saying.
"...What's wrong?" he finally asked, for once wishing that he had better ways of phrasing things; preferably ways to put this into something resembling those nice little comforting talks that Ororo, Hank and Charles were always giving the kids.
"Who does she think she is! She has no right, no right to ask! She doesn't even know abou-"
Pietro's thoughts were interrupted when he walked into something- in all his rage he had- while managing to storm around instead of zoom around- not been paying much attention to where he was going.
"Hey! Watch it, Pietro!"
Walked into someone, actually.
Tearing away from his thoughts, Pietro Maximoff glared at the source of the voice.
"You watch it, Daniels!"
Evan was actually a little thrown off by the anger in the white haired teen's voice.
"Hey, you walked into me!" he retorted.
"Prove it," Pietro snapped, roughly pushing past the other boy.
What the statement lacked in substance, it more than made up in viciousness.
Definitely taken aback by the acidic tone, Evan could only stare as Pietro walked off.
"...I-I don't know."
"It ain't fair man!"
"...I know."
Only then noticing his friend's quieted voice, as well as the change in his expression, now downcast, Todd stared helplessly at him- looking for answers that weren't present. After a moment he looked away, his gaze falling. "It's not fair," he let out a soft breath, anger melting away into somber grief. "I'm sorry Freddy, I didn't mean to blow up at you like that yo. I just, I just-" shaking his head, Todd sighed angrily, burying his head in his hands.
"...Todd..."
Looking at him, Fred suddenly wished everything would just... disappear. That everything would be all right again.
"What's wrong?"
There was something she had been wondering all her life- what was wrong with her?
She couldn't answer.
So she lied, as she always did.
"...Nothing."
First Lance, now Tabitha.
Logan was really beginning to think that he needed to learn more about this whole counseling deal. And that the Brotherhood had a lot of stuff they didn't know about. Well, for now he had Charles, which was far better than trying to do this alone. Glancing back, he was actually relieved to see the telepath nodding, guessing Logan's anxiety and moving closer.
"Tabitha, would you like to go inside now?"
"...Do I get a choice?"
"Yes, of course."
"No."
"Kitty, are you okay?"
"Yes," Kitty wiped away the last traces of tears; eyes still red but dry now. "I can't believe I cried like that," she attempted a smile, but it was in vain. "I should be the one comforting you, Lance."
"No, it doesn't matter anymore," Lance took her hand, moving it away from her eyes and putting it down. "It all happened a long time ago. I don't even think about it now. It's all right, Kitty."
"But Lance, you, you... you've had such a..."
"No, not really. It's not as bad as the guys have it. At least I've had time to get over it. I mean... Todd and Fred just try not to think about it, but they... they really have a lot to deal with. Pietro still hasn't told Todd and Fred everything, and I think I'm the only one who knows all the details. Tabby... I don't even know about Tabby. She never talks about it. The only time she told me anything at all was this one night, and she was kind of out of it then. I don't think she really realized it was me she was talking to, or even notice that she wasn't alone."
"...You all...you all had to go through... this?" Her voice barely made it to Lance's ears, but he looked away.
"Well, not exactly the same thing..." he paused, unconsciously leaning closer to Kitty. There was a brief pause before he continued, his voice quieter. "Fred... Freddy's parents were cops. He found out about... about the accident in the morning after. He was twelve. He thought they were still sleeping in from a long night, but... the news was going on about it. Freddy's parents... they were at a robbery. The guy had a gun, and... that was the end of it."
"...Sorry Freddy. Let's get out of here, yo. Some X-Geeks might come in."
"...Yeah... maybe we should go see what Lance and Tabby are doing. Pietro probably went back by himself already."
"Yeah... Fred?"
"Yeah Todd?"
"I don't want to think about it anymore."
"...Me neither."
"Why-should-she-get-to-know-anything! She-doesn't-know-anything! She-can't-ask-me! She-has-no-right! She'll-never-understand! He-never-understood!"
After stumbling into one of the gyms, Pietro had taken to punching the living- well, non-living- daylights out of one of the punching bags, ranting incoherently in anger.
"None-of-them-ever-understood! They-never-cared! Why-should-I-care! Why-should-I-have-to-tell-them-anything! Why-should-I-explain-anything! Why-should-I-care!"
The fact that the punching bag was now sporting serious tears unregistered in his mind, nor the fact that a little blood from the scratches decorated his fists, Pietro continued to take his anger out on the bag.
"She-has-no-right! He-has-no-right!"
"You don't understand!"
"Well maybe I would if you would just talk to me instead of avoiding me!"
"Back off, Daniels!"
"There you are, Evan."
The resident skateboarder turned at the sound of his aunt's voice. The friendly voice cheered him up a bit; despite the fact that he was quite messed up right now, and he wasn't even really sure what he was feeling. What he wanted to feel, to be more precise.
"What's up, Auntie O?"
"I was looking for you. Evan, we need to talk."
'Oh damn,' the voice in Evan's head rang true.
"Uh... can we maybe talk later? After dinner or something? I'm feeling kind of tired; long day at school and-"
"I'm sorry Evan, but I think we should talk now. It's important, and I don't think we should put it off any longer."
'Put it off any longer? Wait, what was this about?'
"What?"
'Way to phrase it, Evan.'
Closing the door behind her, the aunt walked over and took a seat in front of him.
"Evan, it's about Pietro."
"P-Pietro!"
'...Smooth, real smooth.'
"But...WHY!"
'Reeeal smooth.'
He had nothing else to say. He just stared at her.
"Evan."
"But Auntie O!"
"Evan, you can't let what happened in the past control your entire future."
"I know that!" Evan burst out. "...I know that... but... but it's too late."
"Evan," something about her voice, the way she said his name, made him look up again.
"It's never too late."
"...Maybe we should've brought something for them," Fred murmured as the pair walked down the hall slowly.
"Maybe...Quickie can get something though."
"Yeah..."
"...Do you think Lance'll let us stay here tomorrow? Instead of going to school?"
"Maybe... I don't want to leave him all alone though."
"Yeah..."
"...Todd-" Fred cut short abruptly at the sight of one particular huge furry blue man.
"Just the people I was looking for," Hank smiled at the two boys. "How are you?"
There was a significant pause before the two Brotherhood boys responded.
"Um... okay," Fred replied for both of them.
"We're just going back to our rooms," Todd explained, a bit quickly.
"Well, I was hoping we could talk for a moment."
"We?" Fred echoed.
"Like... me, Freddy, and you?" Todd elaborated.
"Yes, us three," Hank answered, abandoning his rather habitual act of correcting the kids' grammar for now.
"Uh... why? Is this about Lance?"
"And if it is, don't you have to talk to Lance, yo?"
"It's not about Lance," Hank assured. "I'd just like to talk to you."
"...okay..." Fred answered uneasily.
"Do we have to?"
"Well, no, but it won't take long."
The two looked at each other with obvious uncertainty, though both tried to keep other emotions at bay.
"...okay."
There was a long duration of silence before anyone said anything again. To the surprise of the two X-Men, it was Tabitha who spoke at last.
"I don't need or want to talk, especially to you. Take care of your X-Men," she got up, turning around to look at them.
"The Brotherhood isn't yours to worry about," she started back inside the mansion, not giving them room to respond, not that they could.
"Leave us alone if you can't help Lance. We're none of your business," she didn't look at them, but that made it worse.
"You made sure of that a long time ago."
"Todd's an orphan too. His dad died in a car crash when he was eight. He wasn't there, but his mom was. She... she drank a lot after that. She died a year later... drug overdose... Todd spent most of the time after that at an orphanage... then he got moved... some 'correctional facility'," Lance's voice trembled in anger at the name that mocked him so, but his tone fell back to calm, nearly chilling levels.
Kitty wasn't sure she had him any longer.
He was distant once more, and the vague flickers of emotion had died down in his eyes- again he was staring out at nothing in particular, almost as if he was searching for something, but unable to.
Wanting to search for something, but unable to.
"...He still has nightmares about it."
He paused, still looking out onto the waters.
Not even knowing what he was looking at.
"We all do."
"Back off Daniels!"
"I don't want to back off, Pietro! Stop blocking me out! I want to know what's going on!"
"Shut up! You won't understand! Just leave me alone! You won't understand! You can't, you won't, help!"
He didn't know when they started falling. His eyes were shut tight, trying to force everything away, but they kept falling anyhow. His rage gave way and he crumbled to his knees, tears streaking down his face.
"Nobody..."
"Well it wasn't that bad."
"It could have been worse."
Scott nodded to Jean's words- it really could have been. It was important to look on the brighter side of these things.
"And zey haven't done any damage since after school," Kurt added.
"Ah think it was actually a pretty good day, all things considered," Rogue commented.
"Yeah, it isn't as if we've had any fights with zem. That's more zan ve can say most of ze time."
"We've more or less avoided each other though. It's a start, but we're going to have to start doing more if we want change."
"But we also can't just suddenly try to change things," Jean replied to the sunglasses-wearing teen.
"And the day's not over- we still have dinner left," Rogue reminded, casting a shadow over all four for a brief moment.
"Let's just try to keep Evan and Pietro away," Scott paused, for yet another time that day- he didn't even know how many times it had been now, he had long since lost count- recalling the way Lance had looked that morning: watching out from a window as they all left for school, the X-Men and the Brotherhood.
Regardless of the fact that he was pretty sure Lance would have scowled had he realized Scott was looking at him, Scott couldn't forget the look.
A look of complete fatigue, he had realized during the day.
Not just a day of being tired. His health had deteriorated significantly during the past several months, and Scott wasn't sure when the dark circles under the rock tumbler's eyes had surfaced.
Or why he hadn't seen it till now.
Maybe Lance had always just kept too thick an act for Scott to ever notice it.
Maybe it was because he had never seen Lance off guard like that before.
But the voice in his mind told him it wasn't just that.
Maybe he hadn't seen it because he had never wanted to, or cared to.
"Scott?"
Kurt's voice brought him back.
"Sorry, I was thinking about something."
"Jean was just saying," Rogue informed, leaving the statement open for the other girl to continue.
"I just said we're all going to have to be... calm, during dinner. All of us. They could be offended by something we didn't mean, but if we yell back, we'll just go back to before."
Scott nodded to her words, knowing that it was meant for all of them, but a little more so him. He didn't want to tell her now, not when Kurt and Rogue were also here, but later he planned to talk over this whole thing in private with Jean. Maybe she could help him out with the whole thing- Jean was usually calmer than he was when it came to the Brotherhood, Lance especially.
'No regrets, no guilt... Boom Boom, if they don't help Lance anymore because of you, what are you going to do? No, they wouldn't do that... even if they weren't the 'good' guys like they are, they still wouldn't, just to save face. But they are, so it doesn't matter... if they don't, what are you going to do? What are you going to do, Tabby? What can you do? But why does it matter? You don't do responsibilities. You don't do guilt. You can't do guilt! You don't do responsibilities! What guilt? What regret? What guilt? What? No... no guilt. Not for anything... not for anything...'
Tabitha shook her head, banning the solitary conversation from her mind.
"And they actually ask me if I'm crazy..."she murmured, smirking at the notion, but not for long. It was almost never that she could act to herself, and this time was no different than the usual.
Slamming the door open, she stepped inside, and it was only after she slammed the door again, this time to shut it, that she realized the gym was already occupied.
All traces of her previous chaos disappeared, and she stared for a second before she made her way over to him.
"Pietro..."
"Aren't we... not allowed in here?"
"Not at all. Although I'd prefer that you ask me before you come in, and try not to move too many things around."
"Oh..." Todd looked around the lab, strangely fascinated, despite his head telling him that he shouldn't be.
The machines and charts and all other medical things didn't throw Fred off guard however- not nearly as much, anyhow. He was more used to them- big machines anyhow. He was still trying to figure out what it was this guy wanted from them, and wondering when they should pull out. Admittedly though, he still wanted to know what all these things did.
"What do you do with all this? Can you even use all of them?"
"Well, I hardly use them all at once. Would either of you care for something to drink?"
Both Fred and Todd turned, a little perplexed, until they saw the small tray with a pot on a warmer, some tea bags, coffee, cups, and similar objects on it.
"You spend a lot of time here, don't you," Todd said without thinking about it.
"I just don't like to leave in the middle of things," Hank chuckled. "But I suppose I do spend quite a bit of time in here. Hot chocolate?"
"Um..." Fred paused, looking at Hank for a moment before nodding. He glanced at Todd quickly, trying not to be noticeable in his actions. He succeeded, at least in the case of the younger teen. "Okay."
"Me too, yo."
He had gotten up in the blink of an eye at the opening slam of the door, ready to lash out at whoever was daring to enter, taking a step back, almost into the wall. But the hostility crumbled when he saw who it was.
"Pietro..."
And he felt himself slide down, back against the wall, back down on the floor of the gym.
He didn't resist the arm she put around him, letting her draw him closer, leaning into her.
He didn't try to hold them back, not to her. Ever since one particular night, she was the second of the only two people he allowed himself to break down in front of. And right now, he wasn't sure that he even could have held back, regardless of who it was.
"I'm here..." Tabitha murmured, pulling him closer so that he was leaning on her shoulder.
"...I shouldn't have told you," Lance sighed.
It had been a few minutes until Lance had snapped back to attention, realizing all that he had said. He had immediately stopped then; not because he didn't trust Kitty, but because it wasn't in his right to talk of their pasts.
It had taken a long time before they had told each other, and even now, not all of them were completely free with their pent up history; he himself hadn't even had the guts to tell them everything. Tabitha never mentioned anything after the sole exclusion of that single time while with him.
Kitty looked at him, no words to comfort him. They were only teenagers... just like her.
But things were so different.
Too different for her to even be able to attempt to comfort him in the way they could, for each other.
"...Lance..."
"...I...I'll see you at dinner, okay?" Lance got up, turning away.
As he headed for the door, Kitty got up. "Lance wait, please."
Automatically he stopped, though he didn't turn around.
"I'm sorry..."
It's not your fault, don't apologize, Kitty."
"...I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. That you couldn't talk to me before."
"...You don't have to be. It's all right. I don't mind... but don't tell anybody about the guys... promise me? ...I wasn't- Ishouldn't have told anyone..."
"I won't, Lance. And I want to be there for you, even if you don't always need me there. You try to be there for me, don't you?"
"But it's not the same thing-"
"No... it's not... but I can try, can't I?"
It was only then that he turned to face her.
"Kitty, you are there for me... I couldn't have told anyone else about any of this, not this way. So... thanks."
The word felt awkward to him. He rarely used it.
But he didn't know how else to say it.
It was different from when he talked to the Brotherhood. Even if he was protective of Kitty, as he was with the Brotherhood, he didn't have to worry about Kitty breaking down on him, he didn't have to worry about her health- physical and mental- constantly. It was a small difference that had made it easier for him to talk about things, the few times he did, as much as he avoided the ditches and merely circled around safer subjects. She was there for him in ways she didn't know.
"I...I'll see you at dinner," he murmured hastily, leaving the room with only hints of grace- not because of the previous reasons, or even the cast on his leg, but the tinge of clumsiness granted solely by those amidst the trials of a Romeo and Juliet.
"Remember what I told you?"
"I wouldn't forget."
"I know. Still."
"I remember."
"You know the part I left out?"
"Intentionally or subconsciously?"
"...Intentionally."
"...Yeah."
"We had a big fight... I just blew up at him. I took everything out on him. It wasn't his fault. I just blew up. I couldn't control myself. I was too... too... well, you know."
"...I know."
"After everything, I just couldn't hold it in. I didn't mean to..."
"Pietro..."
"I was so... mad... I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it any longer... and he was so... he tried to understand... but I couldn't explain. I just... I couldn't explain then... I just... I just... shit, Tabby I can't even explain now... I didn't want to lose him too... he was the only friend I had. I never meant to take it out on him... but... he... he couldn't... he couldn't understand!"
She just held him, shaking and sobbing, knowing that she couldn't do anything more.
Drinking hot chocolate in the lair of the enemy.
Not exactly in the rulebook of 'how to deal' situations Mystique might've- should've, really, it would've made it easier to not do the understated stuff she didn't like- handed out.
Hard to believe as it was however, Todd and Fred weren't really looking for a book with answers at the moment. Even they didn't know why, but it felt okay to just be themselves, or at least close to.
Many of their defenses had melted away as the marshmallows in their creamy drink had. The walls down, they were asking questions on some of the medical equipment and what Hank did in the lab.
Avoiding talk of Lance's health was easier subconsciously than when they were really trying to. Now they were on their second cups, Fred on the third, and rapidly learning about some basic medical procedures, as well as having a side discussion on the importance of having fire extinguishers at hand. Multiple fire extinguishers at hand.
It was weird, but he wasn't as alarming a presence as the other X-Men were.
Maybe it was because he wasn't asking them a million questions at once.
Maybe it was because he wasn't trying to make them do something, or even to tell him something.
Maybe it was because he had hot chocolate in his... lab-slash-office-place.
They didn't know why, but they were too used to not knowing the whys to be bothered by it.
It was weird, but he was actually kind of okay.
Reality hit him hard the moment he closed the door behind him.
He had forgotten about Tabitha.
Now, he didn't even know where to look. She always did have a knack for disappearing when she was sought out. And not appearing again until she was comfortable.
He couldn't risk waiting that long.
He started running, ignoring the objections of his broken leg.
Possibly the only thing that could have stopped him at the time showed up, as if on schedule.
Turning the corner, he entered the hall where Logan and Charles stood, talking to each other in quiet voices. Lance's presence didn't go unnoticed however, despite the engaging talk, and they turned around as he walked up, having slowed down.
"You shouldn't be running around with that leg," Logan warned, noting that the teen was taking deep breaths.
"I'm fine," Lance murmured, trying to unnoticeably stabilize his breathing as best as he could.
Before Lance could ask the question, Charles did. "Lance, have you seen Tabitha anywhere?"
Lance shook his head, questions immediately surfacing in his mind- why did they want her?
"Did anything unusual happen between you recently?"
Again, Lance shook his head. Before stopping suddenly. Dead still.
Logan called him on it. "What happened?"
"...nothing," Lance mumbled.
He didn't ask further.
"What made her blow like that?" Logan turned to Charles, for a second forgetting Lance's presence in face of the important question.
"I don't know, Loga-"
"What happened?" Lance interrupted abruptly. "What happened to Tabby?"
The urgency in his voice could not be masked.
"It's not fair," he had calmed down now, still leaning against her, her arm around his shoulders. It had been silent for a while now, and his sudden proclamation stirred her back to reality.
"Why do I always break down in front of you?"
Tense muscles relaxing a little again at the slight tinge of humor in his words, Tabitha just shrugged.
"I don't know, Quickie."
"Tabby... I... Tabby, do you..."
"It wasn't your fault."
"...You always tell me that."
"It's not."
"You tell Lance that too, don't you?"
"Because it's not."
"...How can you be so sure?"
"...Ask me tomorrow. I'll buy the book of positive, inspirational clichés and answer you with something good."
That actually managed a faint smirk from him.
"Like we'll need that; we're living with the X-Geeks now."
"...Yeah..."
He didn't notice that her statement lacked its usual lightness.
For a while they didn't say anything, just leaning into each other. Abruptly, Pietro's voice stirred up the air.
"You never tell me anything."
"Sure I do."
"No, you don't. I always tell you stuff. You never tell me anything."
"Well, you have a dad that wants to take over the world or something. That beats all my stories."
"That's not funny. And so? Who cares about him. I just want you to tell me something. Anything. You never tell us anything."
That was true... she had her reasons.
They knew that her dad was in jail now, and about the whole deal when he tried to steal from Bayville High by using her to break in.
They knew she had a mom back home... back... home.
Lance had found out more than she wanted him to, but he hadn't pried in or manipulated her to get her to talk.
They left her alone about it; they had once been in her position.
She doubted she'd move onto theirs anytime soon, though.
If ever.
No, probably not.
It wasn't quite fair, she knew.
They had all told her about their pasts. Even Lance- though that hadn't come easy, and he hadn't intended to tell her either. Things just happened.
Now, with Pietro telling her what only Lance had known up till, it was understandable that he wanted to at least get something from her. Something about her.
"There's nothing to tell."
"Liar."
"Hey, same to you."
"But not to you."
He was right.
Again.
But she couldn't say anything.
She had flown off the handle. She didn't do that often. It was Lance that did that- Lance, Fred, and Pietro usually. Tabby and Todd usually calmed them down, though when Pietro was concerned, it sometimes took Fred to hold him back.
"Lance?"
He turned, realizing only then that his name had been echoed twice now.
Charles continued, finally having gotten his attention. "Did something happen?"
"...no, nothing."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Nothing."
He didn't press on the matter. Logan didn't either.
"Nothing." Lance repeated.
The lack of reproach on his avoidance of the topic made him just as nervous as direct questioning would've.
"Well... Lance, if there's anything you want to-"
"I- I... It's nothing. I just got fired from all my jobs except one... and... and Tabby told me they had to get rid of what was left of my jeep... so... I got mad. Um, can I leave?"
On the green light, he escaped as fast as he could. He didn't even care if they were suspicious- even he would've been, with that obviously bad, though half true, excuse.
It didn't matter.
Unfortunately, someone was just around the corner, and Lance barely missed walking into him.
"A-Alvers-"
"Summers?...uh, sorry," he mumbled the apology, stepping aside, avoiding the other brunette's eyes.
"No- I wasn't looking, sorry," his words were just as rushed, and he did not search to make eye contact.
After a second, they both started walking again, past each other without any words.
Normally, even the brief encounter would've been treated with his usual attitude, but Lance didn't want any more delays. Something seemed to have kept Scott from doing something closer to their usual meetings as well.
Right now, Lance hardly cared what.
It wasn't important.
Now he knew where to look.
He didn't know anything. It struck him, just how little he knew about her.
They knew her life hadn't been on easy street, but the rough history was practically a mandatory requirement for membership in the Brotherhood. In any case, they all had it. Different variations were all.
They knew not to mention her family when she was serious. No, they knew not to mention her family, period. Unless she skinned the surface of the topic with a joke, it was forbidden territory. They just knew.
She pretended not to be bothered by things. They all did. She pulled it off. Well enough that they didn't know when she was bothered a lot of the time. They rarely knew before the nightmares blitzed after dark.
"Aren't you ever going to tell us anything?"
"It's not interesting."
He didn't notice that her tone was falling quickly. He always did hate that he never noticed things, but found himself unable to do otherwise. These kinds of things just escaped him. He couldn't help it.
He usually knew better than to keep asking like this though, even when she knew he was in a mood like this.
But it frustrated him today. More so than usual.
She knew all about him now; she had always known a little more than Fred and Todd, but now, now she knew everything, just as Lance did. Only, Lance had already told them a lot of his story- intentionally or not, depending on the part. She hadn't said anything.
It frustrated him, and he didn't know what to do any more.
He knew nothing, and it was unbearable.
He never could stand not knowing.
He preferred to put it out of his thoughts, locked up in a box somewhere in his mind. There was a lot of scarlet there. He didn't want Tabby's colors to get mixed in too. He wasn't sure the box could contain both of them.
And even if it could, he couldn't stand locking both of them away, out of his thoughts, out of his mind, out of his heart.
He knew he couldn't do it anyway, as much he might've tried to once.
The door closed behind them, surely but not forcefully.
They left behind empty cups, and six empty packets of hot chocolate in the trash bin. Two and four between them, Todd and Fred, respectively. After the second cup, Todd had been more interested in the talk than the sweet drink, while Fred had been satisfied with adding a few comments here and there.
A part of them told them that it was wrong... they shouldn't be having fun talking to the enemy.
What would Mystique say? What would Mystique do?
But the questions seemed to carry little power over them; she was gone, out of their lives now, and they didn't know when she would return, if ever. In the present, they had been greeted with warm cocoa, and invitations to return whenever they wanted. Truthfully, he seemed like a cool guy.
Truthfully, they wanted to drop by again sometime.
Sometime soon, maybe.
Maybe.
"Let's talk about something else, Quickie."
She wasn't usually so blunt, at least not in this way, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep herself in check. And she had no intention or desire to snap in front of Pietro, and more importantly, at Pietro.
Especially not right now.
"Feeling better?"
"...Tabby, don't you trust us?"
"Feeling better enough to ask me stuff, huh?"
"I'm serious."
"Of course I do, Pietro."
"...All right."
He finally dropped it, though Tabitha was sure that this would bother him for the entire day now.
She didn't want him to be bothered by her, but more so, she didn't want to talk about this.
It bothered her that she bothered him.
A lot.
She never much liked herself to begin with, but it didn't help when she bothered the few people she did like.
Maybe.
Only maybe.
Already maybe.
It wasn't so much that he had been cold, or particularly thirsty or hungry. The fact that there was food around simply made things more Fred's element.
He had been comfortable enough to stay there while Todd talked more animatedly with the X-Man... Beast... Hank.
Which one, Fred wasn't sure yet.
He was sure however, that Todd hadn't minded the time with the guy very much. Todd had always been more interested in things like biology than he had been.
Fred, he was more interested in the 'culinary arts'... personally, he just thought of it as food.
It made life easier.
And why not take the easier path?
"He bothers me."
He didn't notice the slight way in which she flinched but his thoughts had already drifted back to the first reason for their current situation, and he was immersed.
"...Suck it up, Quickie, we're gonna be here a while."
"I know. Unfortunately."
"It could be worse."
Her indifference, he did notice.
It confused him a little. She didn't act this way with them, at least not as much. And rarely when it was just the two of them talking like this... when he needed to talk to her, if just to rant sometimes.
"Worse than living with the X-Geeks?"
"...We could be living in the same room as them."
"...Okay, you got me. This is better than being forced into the same room as Daniels every hour."
"Pietro, you're going to have to do something."
Her directness caught him off guard.
"What?"
"You're going to have to do something. About this. All of this."
She just kept confusing him today.
"...I know..."
"What're you going to do? You need to do something, Pietro."
"I know."
"Pietro..."
If there was one consistency with the Brotherhood, it was that they usually dealt with everything the same way- anger.
And she, like they did, had already done that. So the only thing left to do was to get rid of the excess energy. And unless he was completely off target, and Lance weighed the risk lower than the consequences of being even later, the smallest gym was deserted most of the day. Privacy was necessary when dealing with anger.
Unless that is, one just planned to fire back at the world.
"I know Tabby, I know! You think I want it this way! I don't, damn it!"
He hadn't meant to shout. At least, not at her.
But it wasn't the first time he had, when he hadn't meant to.
Most of the time, he didn't mean to.
She understood.
They all did.
Between themselves, a lot more went understood than was said.
They knew he didn't mean it.
"Well then don't! Don't leave it that way!"
Her outburst shocked him. She wasn't the one blowing up at him, not like this. When they were fighting, sure, but not when it was serious. She was the one that let him rant on and on, until he was tired of anger and things fell back to normal.
She had never fully broken down before, and that was a record only one other Brotherhood member held, he being Lance.
But she was the only one that had never broken down, period.
Breaking down was a lot similar to anger, because rants usually accompanied, or led to it, though fury could always stand by itself.
Tabitha wasn't the one that ranted. He was.
She wasn't supposed to snap back.
She was supposed to just wait for him to let it out...
Shock turned to confusion, and suddenly he was angry again.
"Well what do you want me to do about it!"
"I don't know! What're you asking me for!"
"Because I don't know! I never know! You're supposed to know!"
"No, Lance is supposed to know! I'm not Lance. And you know what, Lance can't solve everything either! It's not fair for us to make him!"
"Well then what am I supposed to do!"
"I don't know! If you don't like it this way, change it! Stop asking me about it and do something to change it!"
"I can't change it! What do you want me to do about it! I can't change it, I can't!"
"Well if you did something instead of yelling at me about it, maybe you could! Maybe if you did something, Pietro, you could!"
"I can't!"
"NO!"
That one shout threw ice water on Pietro.
"No," she was no longer shouting, but the anger remained.
"No, that's the difference between you and me, Pietro."
Anger at this.
Anger at him.
Anger at everything.
"You can change it, you're just too scared to try. You can. I can't."
He couldn't find the damn gym.
He had mistaken another one for his destination, and had even ended up walking into a closet.
Lance was lost.
"...Wh-why! Why are you telling me this, Tabby! ...You...You're supposed to be on my side!"
"I AM on your side, Pietro! I'm telling you this BECAUSE I AM on your side!"
"No you're not! You're acting like... like everyone else! You're supposed to be different! You guys are my friends! You're supposed to be on MY side, Tabby!"
"I am, Pietro! I'm tired of listening to you this way. I'm tired of seeing you this way. I'm tired, Pietro! I'm tired, and I can't take it anymore."
"...Freddy? I think we're lost, yo."
"Um, maybe it's this way," the larger teen opened a door to their right, only to be greeted with the sight of shelves of stacks of neatly folded towels. "Or not."
"Let's try this door," Todd suggested, walking over to a door a few feet down the hall, on their left. He swung it open.
And was immediately met with the surprised stares of a room full of New Recruits.
"...I'm sorry."
He didn't reply. She put a hand on his shoulder, but he only jerked away.
"Pietro... I'm sorry."
He didn't reply. His shoulders were trembling slightly.
"Pietro..."
"Do you hate me too?"
The words were quiet. And suddenly, Tabitha realized that he was dead serious.
And it scared her. It scared her that he could ask something like that, to her.
To her.
It scared her.
"I could never hate you, Pietro."
He didn't say anything for a moment. Then he answered with a question.
"Are you sure?"
"More than anything else."
"...You can hate though, can't you? You do."
"...I don't know, Pietro."
"Do you hate the X-Men?"
"Hate? No."
"Not even Rogue?"
"No... not even Rogue."
"Then why do you act like it."
There was a pause, and Tabitha turned away.
"You've never seen me hate anyone, Pietro."
"...your father?"
Her eyes widened.
"...Do you hate your father?"
Blue eyes turned on blue.
She stared at him, for the first time without adequate defense.
For the first time vulnerable.
It scared her.
It scared her because she didn't know.
She looked away first. His gaze didn't linger on her either, falling down to the floor.
"I don't love him."
"That wasn't the question." He spoke. Disillusioned. Quiet.
"...I know."
And she didn't know if she wanted to.
"Uh... wrong hall yo."
"We'll just be leaving now-"
"Wait, wait!"
They stopped at the urgent call. It was a reflex. The stunned expressions however, weren't.
"Yeah, we need you guys to settle something for us," Roberto agreed after Bobby.
Fred looked at Todd. Todd looked at Fred.
At last, they turned back towards the expectant teens around the room.
"Uh...all right."
Grins met their answer, and Sam was quick to explain the dilemma.
"Okay, who's cooler- Batman or Superman?" Or rather, introduce the subject question.
He was quick to add his thoughts as well. "Superman, don't you think?"
"No! Batman, right?" The Brazilian of the room suggested with the underlying confidence of certainty.
"No way! Superman!" The youngest...s, of the room quipped, in multiple volumes.
"Batman!" Rahne argued, shooting a glare at the offending trio of Jamies for their loudness.
"Definitely Superman!" Bobby cut in again.
"They do this a lot. We don't really pay much attention to it," Ray commented from the side, noticing the confused expressions of Todd and Fred.
"Or we join in," Jubilee added. "Definitely Batman."
Theresident princess followed the Asian girl, "No, it's Superman."
"Batman," Ray intercepted casually.
The two Brotherhood members stared at the eight.
"Um..."
"...I hate mine."
"Pietro..."
"I do, you know."
"...Pietro..."
"Don't you believe me? Don't you believe me, Tabby?"
"...I believe you."
He didn't say anything for a while, staring at the floor. Lacking the energy to be mad. Lacking the energy to be sad. Just staring.
She moved closer again, drawing an arm around him.
The silence was longer than usual.
He spoke once more, and it seemed as if lifetimes had passed.
Yet, at the same time, it seemed like time had stopped completely.
They had lost track of the seconds long ago, and minutes were too in oblivion.
Hours had yet to be discovered.
Days held no meaning.
Everything beyond that was empty space.
"...how come you always manage to appear like this."
"Just luck, I guess."
"Mine or yours?"
His tone was lighter, and they felt the clock begin to tick again.
"Definitely yours, Quickie. I don't have any luck to speak of that's even remotely positive."
It was ticking now, the eternal ticking announcing its presence to be forever.
"But I have bad luck too."
Forever was irrelevant.
"Well, maybe our collective bad luck just negates the badness occasionally."
Forever was temporary.
"That makes no sense."
"I know."
"Tabby... the door's not locked."
"I'll go lock it."
"No... let's go. This room's too cold."
"We're sitting in front of the heater, Quickie."
"Still."
"Um... I'm going to say, Batman," Fred finally answered the awaiting eight, a little unnerved by the intense anticipation they had been getting, but mostly because it was so unexpected.
"Me too yo," Todd added quickly.
"Aw man!" The collective groan of Amara, Sam, Bobby, and the Jamies echoed in the room.
"That's been going on for about ten minutes," Ray informed the two Brotherhood boys.
"Eleven minutes and forty-five seconds to be exact," a Jamie corrected from the side before turning his attention on Sam, Bobby and the other two Jamies as they engaged in a heated discussion about whose turn it was to refill the popcorn bowl.
"Sometimes one of the Jamies keeps track," Jubilee supplied. "We have a record of seventeen minutes and fifty-six seconds for the longest one without a pause."
"We could beat that," Todd mused to Fred. "Unless slime, flying food, or Tabby's bombs count as pauses."
"It was about whether or not chocolate is candy or a separate category of foods," Roberto added.
"Definitely separate," Fred supplied.
"And how often do you do this?" Todd asked, cocking his head.
"We do this every day!" Rahne grinned. "Usually more than once."
"Which is really far too often," Amara commented.
He was almost positive this was the right way... then again he had been the last time he opened the door to the closet as well.
Just as he reached for the nearby door, it opened.
"I think the heater melted my gel or something..."
"Me too- check my hair for me-" she stopped short, seeing him.
Pietro didn't notice that she didn't continue the talk, or even greet him. "Lance? What are you doing here?"
"Just... looking for you guys."
"Oh. Well, we'd better find Toad and Blob- I left them a while ago but they probably headed back to the rooms anyhow."
"Yeah, probably- Tabby, can I talk to you?"
"...all right."
"Pietro, we'll catch up with you; look around just in case they're not back there- I almost got lost around here, and this isn't even my first time here."
"Okay... something up?"
"No; you're faster than us, so it'll be easier if you go ahead first."
"Oh, all right. Don't be too slow."
There were traces of concern left in the speedster's eyes, but they quickly faded away and he headed off.
The moment he was out of earshot, Lance turned to Tabitha.
"Tabby-"
"What?"
She wasn't looking at him, but her voice was back to the usual.
"Tabby, I'm sorry about just shouting before; let me explain, there's more to it than just-"
"Shouldn't I be the one that's sorry," she was quiet. "After all... you are the one that's..."
"No! I'm not. At least, not for sure... McCoy says it's not likely..."
"Lance..." she finally looked at him. "I don't want you to die."
He hugged her first.
"I won't."
She spoke eternities later.
"...We can't live this way, Lance... we can't..."
And he could only hold her.
"...Things can change... we can change."
As they could only hope.
But they could hope together.
Everything is Relative
By Silverwolf & Life-of-L.A.
-To be continued-
