I you have read this fic before please read this. First of all I have to apologize. First this fic was posted, but then I corrected some errors in "You still have all of me" but for some reason it was posted here and thus I have some reviews for that fic in the review archive for this fic. So every review posted between 2004-04-18 and 2004-06-01 are for "You still have all of me" Sorry about the confusion.

Ok, this is thethird time I upload the and I am really sorry about the long delay that has been, but now I hope I can be a bit better at posting often. Sorry. These first four chapters have been edited since I last uploaded them, and I have had Morwen look them over for me. "Thank you, Morwen"

So much pain for what reason?

Title: So much pain for what reason?

Author: Niniel

Beta: Morwen

Rating: PG (or so I think anyway)

Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien and therefore none of these characters are mine. I just play with them, and I promise to give them back once I'm done with them...Evil grin Also I'm not a Tolkien expert and I never claimed to be one, so any in corrections are the author fault only...

Summery: Elrond is talking to Aragorn about his heritage, but things don't turn out exactly as the Elven lord had planned...

Author's note: This is the first fic I ever started writing, and this chapter is the first thing I ever finished in Fanfiction, I have finished a few stories since then, but... hope you like it... And now we're at it please forgive my probably at times incorrect English, since it's not my native language... By the way, I, like so many others, decided to dispose of Aragorns mother at the same time as his father, and have Elrond adopt him into his family...

Spoilers: Don't think so, unless you didn't know Aragorn and Estel were the same person...LoL

Warnings: None, so far at least...

Feedback: Yes please, I'd LOVE to hear what you think of the story...

thoughts

Well, on with the story...

Chapter 1: Rejection

"Estel there is something that I have to talk to you about" the elf lord said affectionately, looking at his foster son, hoping he would understand. "Please sit"

Estel sat down on the offered chair, feeling a bit nervous. Elrond seldom asked him to come to his study and his ada seldom sounded so serious when speaking to him. "What is it, Ada?"

Elrond winched inwardly, that simple sentence had meant more then the human boy understood. Oh how he wished that he could truly be Estel's ada, then he would not have to tell Estel what he was about to. His heart wished that Estel was not the lost king of men; that he could keep his son forever, but his mind knew that he could not shield the young man before him from his destiny forever. At some point he would have to tell him, and that point was now. Estel was old enough to know now and he deserved to know the truth. "Estel, now I want you to listen very carefully." He said, not really knowing how to say this. "You know that I love you very much, and so do Elladan and Elrohir."

Estel shifted uncomfortable in his chair. Why did his father say Elladan and Elrohir, normally they were referred to as his brothers or "the twins" Estel didn't like the way this was going.

Suddenly his father's voice cut through his thoughts...

"...but you are not my son, you cannot stay here at Imladris..."

Rejected... All Estel could feel in this moment was pure numbing pain; his Ada didn't want him anymore. But why, was it because he was not as good as his brothers when they practised archery, was the elvenlord ashamed of him, perhaps it was his round ears that made the difference... Estel felt his heart break into a thousand little pieces, each one stinging and hurting. How could love end up hurting so much. Estel was at a complete loss. "WHY? Why had this happened?" His head kept screaming at him.

Elrond did not notice that the boy before him did not listen to his explanation of his real identity, that he was not really an elf, that he was really the heir to the throne of Gondor and that he some day would have to leave Imladris to become the king of men.

Unfortunately Estel had only heard the part about not being Elrond's son and having to leave Imladris.

Content with having revealed the truth to Estel Elrond dismissed him, by saying "Go now. I won't hold you here anymore" Secretly he was very surprised at how easily Estel had accepted what he had told him. Not once had the human before him questioned him or seemed upset about the revealing. Elrond was very pleased. He had feared that Estel would not take this well, but somehow he must have misjudged his youngest. He smiled at Estel as the man left the room, but Estel never saw…

Estel rose, his head spinning from the rejection...

Once outside the room he headed for his own rooms in a mad dash. If Lord Elrond no longer wanted him for a son and didn't want to have him around than he would leave. When he reached his rooms he quickly found some clothes, his hunting bow, his beautiful twin-knives, they had been a gift from his father, no not his father anymore Estel reminded himself, Lord Elrond Peredhil. How much emotional pain could a being take without dying from it, he thought. In this moment he felt like he could die any moment from the pain, elf or not, but perhaps that was what the Lord wanted, he would probably succeed.

Estel opened the small cabinet on the east wall where he kept his healing herbs and other medical stuff, quickly shoved most of it down a bag, not really thinking it would do him any good. But why had it come to this, what had he done to be so utterly abandoned by his former family. Estel didn't understand it, his heart ached and his thoughts were confused.

He ran out his room, hoping not to meet anyone, but the twins had stood outside his door, waiting for him to come out, knowing what their father was going to tell their adopted, but not less loved, little brother today, and they wanted to see his reaction and possibly help soothe him if he had not taken the revelations well.

When Estel saw Elladan and Elrohir, he tried to push past them, he did not want to ever see them again; it hurt too much, but they were not about to let their human brother go that easily.

Estel tried to fight Elladan as he held him tightly in his arms, but it was to no avail, so instead he went slump in his arms. If they did not want him as their brother why would they try to restrain him? But perhaps they were going to play a trick on him to cause him even more pain. The twins, not understanding Estel's strange mood, asked him what was wrong. But Estel, who thought this, was just a game of some sort to hurt his feelings even more said: "Nothing, I'm just going to the forest for a couple of days."

The twins looked mystified, but Elladan let him go and said: "Well if that's what you want..."

"...we won't stop you" Elrohir finished for him, but both twins looked dubious at him, not quite convinced.

"Well that is exactly what I want, so now let me go" he said in an angry voice, pushing the twins away before he ran of. How could the elves he had always known to be so gentle and kind, his own family, suddenly become such cold and cruel creatures, bent on cause him as much pain as possible?


"Where is Estel, oh… I mean Aragorn, tonight?" Elrond asked as his sons entered the dining hall without Estel by their side. The three of them were inseparable and would usually show up at dinner together. Elrond was glad that his children were as close as they were.

"He went to wander in the forest" Elrohir said

"Seemed rather upset for some reason... Ada? Do you know why? did he say anything to you?" Elladan continued.

"He probably just wants to be alone while gathering his thoughts about his heritage." The elf lord said even though something didn't feel quite right about this. Why was Estel suddenly running of, when he had spoken to him Estel had showed no sign of any discomfort at all. Why would he suddenly need to sort something out alone that had not seemed to bother him only a few hours ago? But what else could it be, he thought. And with that thought he simply shrugged it off.

"You're probably right Ada" Elladan said, still not looking convinced.

"But still I think he acted strange. I don't like this... at all." Elrohir added.

"Give him time my sons, he will return, he just needs to sort things out" Elrond said, hoping he was right.


Estel continued running until the dark was almost impenetrable to the eye. Then he set camp without really checking if there was anything dangerous around, not really caring, nothing meant anything to him anymore. He just went to sleep; he didn't even bother trying to conceal his hiding place. He didn't even notice the orcs tracks running all over the place...

TBC

R/R