Trauma

Usual disclaimers

Rating R

Feedback please! I have no beta, so be gentle, please.

CHAPTER 4

Sara woke up slowly from her medication-induced sleep, sore and hurting. Still groggy and remembering what had happened, she tried to turnover in the bed. There was something holding her down. She couldn't move and one of her hands was also rendered immobile. She started pushing and clawing at the rope she knew must be tied around her waist. But the rope was warm. And soft. And... hairy. And when she pushed at it, it moaned. The panic she had felt just moments before evaporated and was replaced with relief. Grissom.

Grissom had, sometime during their sleep, put his arm around her. Protecting her from the bad dreams and memories. She couldn't move her hand because he was holding it with one of his. With her free hand, she reached out and ran her fingers through his curls. He raised his head and smiled at her.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey, yourself."

"Hungry?"

"No, but I am thirsty."

He stretched, wincing, as he rose from his chair to walk around her bed and poured her a glass of ice water the nurse had brought in earlier. He poured himself one, too.

" How are you feeling?" dumb question, Gil

"I'll be alright. How about you?"

"Same as you." He raised his hand to her swollen cheek. "I am so sorry, Sara."

She placed her small hand over his larger one and leaned into it. Tears clouded her eyes." Could you hold me? Please? "She barely managed to whisper.

He smiled at her. "You'll have to scoot over, I'm a big guy."

"You know, I've heard that about you." An attempt at their old humor. She handed him her glass and moved to the side of the bed.

He put both their cups on the rolling table hospitals insist on, and gingerly sat on the bed, careful not to hurt her. She gave him her pillow and laid her head on the arm he slipped around her shoulders. He wrapped his other arm around her and laced his fingers together, holding her close to his side. She turned into him and sighed. " I feel so safe in your arms, " she mumbled to herself, not meaning for him to hear.

He did hear. "How can you feel safe with me?" he asked. " I couldn't stop... I let them..." he choked. She felt his body shake with tears.

She looked up at him and reached out to stroke his face. She saw the tears fall from his lashes onto the pillow. "Grissom, don't. If you hadn't been there, they would have killed me. If you hadn't called Brass, they would've killed us both. There were three of them, they had guns and knives, and they knocked you out." She lowered her hand to lightly finger the bandage over the place he had been cut trying to protect her." You didn't leave me alone. You stayed with me. When you turned your back to me, I thought that you left me. I nearly gave up then. But, you rolled over and looked me in the eyes, and I knew you didn't leave. I knew I could make it then."

He pulled her in closer and she snuggled her head into his chest. They lay there quietly in each other's arms. Each giving and receiving comfort and forgiveness. With his back to the door and blocking Sara's view, neither saw Catherine. Knowing she was witnessing a private moment, and not wanting to disturb them, she quietly backed out of the room and pulled the door closed.

Half an hour later, still in each other's arms, a nurse roused them. "Excuse me, Miss Sidle, but the doctor said you needed to get up and move around. I thought you might want a shower."

"A shower sounds good," Sara replied.

"Do you need any help?" the kind nurse's voice asked.

"No, we'll manage," Grissom answered.

The nurse left with instructions to buzz for her if they needed anything. Grissom got off of the bed and pulled the covers back to help Sara get up. He reached his hand out to grasp her elbow as she stood on wobbly legs.

"O.K.?"

"Yeah, just a little weaker than I thought."

He helped her into the bathroom and untied the back of her hospital gown. As she slipped it off, he turned to adjust the water and to give her a little privacy. "If you want me, I'll be right out here." he assured her.

She moved slowly under the warm water. She shampooed her hair, then took the washcloth and lathered it to wash her body. She didn't want to see the bruises, but knew she needed too. It hurt to even move.

Pacing in the room outside, Grissom heard a sound. It grew louder.

Rushing into the bathroom, he saw Sara, on the floor of the shower, her nude body wracked with sobs. Without thinking, he sat down with her and gathered her in his arms.