Trauma

All disclaimers apply

Spoilers thru S4 to be safe

Rating R

I have no beta, all mistakes are mine. Please R&R

Chapter 8

When Sara woke up the next morning, Grissom was gone, but he had left a note for her saying he had some things at the office to take care of, and would return soon.

As she sat there in bed contemplating her cold, rubbery eggs and burnt toast, Jim Brass walked into the room. "Hey, Sara! How ya feeling? Don't you think you've milked this long enough?" His dry wit could always be counted on.

"Uh...fine." She continued to push her unappetizing breakfast around her plate. He noticed that she wouldn't look at him.

"Sara? I was only teasing, I didn't mean..." He reached for her shoulder. She jerked out of his grasp. "I'm sorry, maybe I should go." She could hear the hurt in his voice.

"No, Brass. I'm sorry. It's just..." Her voice was so quiet, he barely heard her. "You saw me..."

Understanding now shone through his eyes. He sat on the side of the bed and tried to explain some things to her. "Oh...Sara, I have been a cop for... too many years to count, and I have seen more than my share of bodies. " He saw the tears threaten to fall and rushed on. "Have you EVER heard me, or any officers under my command, ridicule, joke about or in any way say something negative or derogatory about a victim?"

She shook her head no, her hair falling to cover her face. He gently pushed it back behind her ear so that he could see her face.

"That's right, and you never will. The victims have been through enough without the people who are supposed to protect them beating them up, too."

" Sara, when I walked in that room and saw you there, I wanted to kill those guys myself. They had hurt my friend." he continued, "Luckily, my brain went on autopilot, and told the rest of me what to do."

Sara thought back on all the crime scenes she had been on with Brass, all the innocent flirting, the time he had confided about his drinking, all the really bad jokes. Yes, he was her friend and she could trust him. Professionally and personally. He had proven himself too many times.

When Brass saw her body relax and she looked up at him, he just couldn't help himself." I am going to say one more thing, and then this subject is closed, O.K.?" At her nod he finished," I saw Catherine a few times, back when she was dancing. Honey, she's got nothing on you." He winked at her.

Gil walked in the room to find Jim Brass on Sara's bed and she was blushing. He hoped the hurt didn't show too much as he approached the pair. "Hey, guys."

Sara turned a tear-stained face to him and smiled as she took his hand. "Griss, Brass just dropped in to make sure I was going to be back at work tomorrow. " Jim could feel the tension in his old friend's body, and decided a quick exit was a good idea.

"Yeah, she's lazed around enough. Nobody believes she was really hurt, anyway." He grinned at her as he leaned in to give her a quick peck on the cheek." Whenever you're ready, Sara. " He whispered to her, not wanting the Griss to hear him sound like he actually cared. She smiled her understanding at him. He stood up and patted Gil on the shoulder." Take care of her. See ya later, Grissom."

After Brass left, Grissom was telling Sara about the case they were working on when the doctor walked in."Ms. Sidle, you will be glad to know that you can go home today. There are some precautions I want you to take, however. I do not want you lifting anything over 5 lbs., no showering or bathing when you are alone in the house, and you need lots of protein and iron to rebuild your blood supply. I realize that, mentally and emotionally, it will be a while before you resume sexual relations," this he said with a glance in Grissom's direction," physically, with all the damage you sustained, I want you to wait at least 4 weeks. The good news is, I don't think this will affect your ability to bear children. I want to do some more tests in 3 months, but right now, everything looks good."

Sara was stunned. She hadn't even thought about the reproductive side. She had been embarrassed when the doc looked at Griss when he was speaking about resuming sexual relations, but the topic of children pushed it out of her mind. She wasn't sure if she wanted a child or not, but she wanted to be able to make the choice herself. Not have it taken away by someone else's violence.

Seeing the look on Sara's face, Grissom knew that she had not heard the doctor wish her luck. He shook the doctor's hand and thanked him for all that he had done.

"Sara? You OK?" he asked quietly after the doc had left.

She raised her cocoa colored eyes to meet his cobalt ones. " Yeah, I'm fine. Just ready to get out of here." She grinned up at him.

"Sara, " he started hesitantly," the crime scene clean-up crew isn't through with your place, yet. I can arrange for you to stay with Catherine, or someone, if you'd like."

"Oh, I was hoping I could stay with you," she answered dejectedly.

"I was hoping you would say that. I want to be sure that you are all right. "

They were still holding hands when the nurse came in with all the paperwork that needed to be signed for her release.

In his car, on the way to his house. The thought kept going through Sara's mind. She was scared. What if he retreated into himself? What if he hovered? What if... She was going to drive herself crazy if she didn't stop this.

In my car, going to my house. Grissom's thoughts were swirling around in his brain at an unbelievable rate. What if she thought he expected something more than she could give? What if she expected more than he could give? What if...he shook his head as if to clear his mind.

He pulled the Denali to a smooth stop in front of his townhouse and a shaking hand switched off the engine. Getting out to walk around the vehicle so that he could help her out, he took a big breath and blew it out forcefully to calm his nerves. This is silly he thought to himself. I feel like I'm in high school and bringing a girl home while my mother is at work

Sara wondered what he was smirking at when he opened her door and stretched out his hand to help her up the steps to his home. As she walked into his living room, she couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive. She had, for a long time, wanted to be asked into his domain, but now that she was here, it was a trifle frightening. She would be alone, totally alone with a man. True, the man was Gil Grissom, someone she trusted, but he was still a man. She knew from past experience that even men you think you know and trust, can turn on you and hurt you. Grissom was taller and heavier than she, and in her weakened physical condition, she knew she would not be able to defend herself if she needed to.

Grissom could sense the change in Sara's attitude immediately. She clutched her small bag of clothes to her chest and took 3 small steps back and away from him. Her eyes were wide and darting around. "Sara, its OK. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know, Griss. It's just..."she stopped as her eyes started to mist over." I don't know how to explain..."

"Its alright, sweetheart. I understand. Really." His arms were aching to hold her and comfort her, but he was afraid that would frighten her even further. As his eyes tried not to convey his hurt and fear, he moved toward the kitchen.

" How about some coffee? I'll make a fresh pot. The bedroom is at the end of the hall."

She nodded her thanks and hurried down the hall to the room he indicated with a jerk of his head. She opened the door to a very masculine room. A gray and navy blue abstract patterned bedspread covered a queen-sized bed. Dark wood furniture and heavy-duty blinds, all added to the image of a man's room. This can't be right she thought. She went back to the hall, but the only other door was to the bathroom.

In the kitchen, alone with his thoughts, Grissom was angry. He wasn't really angry at Sara's reaction, he understood that, but he was raging at the cause. He didn't realize that he was slamming cupboard doors and cursing under his breath until he heard her soft question.

"Are you upset at me?" She had seen the flames of rage in his eyes as he turned to the sound of her voice. "I'm sorry, Grissom. I didn't mean anything. I was just scared. I won't do it again." Her panic had been rising with each word and was obvious in her voice and eyes. He hurried around the kitchen bar to soothe her.

" Don't hurt me!" her scream stopped him in his tracks.