Trauma

All disclaimers apply- don't own it, never will

Spoilers thru S4 to be safe

Rating: R

Please R&R… no flames please

Chapter 9

He was sure that she could hear his heart shatter in the silence that followed her scream. He slowly raised his hands, palms facing her and purposely kept his voice soft and even.

"Sara, its just me, Grissom. I'm not going to hurt you, honey." He carefully took a step toward her trembling body. He continued talking as he slowly moved closer, keeping his eyes locked to hers for any sign that she might bolt. "I'm not upset at you. I have no reason to be. You are scared and that is perfectly normal. But, you have no reason to be afraid of me." He was within arm's length of her now." Sara, I'm going to put my arms around you now." He felt her whole being stiffen as he touched her, then all at once, she crumpled in his embrace.

"Oh, Griss, I don't know how to deal with this. I want you to hold me, but I am afraid for you to touch me. My emotions are all jumbled up inside, and I am having trouble handling it. Then, I walked into the bedroom and realized that there was only one, and I just kinda freaked. I'm sorry for being such a. ……Girl." she tried, unsuccessfully, to laugh it off.

He held her closer to him and gently kissed her hair. "I'm glad you're such a girl sometimes. I would look a little silly holding Nick like this." If she could joke, he would, too. "And don't worry about the bed, the sofa is a pull-out. That's where I sleep when my mother comes to town."

Sara burrowed her face deep into Grissom's chest, her hands flat against him. The smell that she had come to recognize over the years as pure Grissom filled her senses. The feel of his pectoral muscles rippling beneath her fingers as he held her and stroked her back, was intoxicating. She felt his breath start to shorten and his pulse quicken. As she lifted her eyes to his face, he raised a hand to her bruised cheek. She flinched, and his eyes misted.

"I am so sorry …." He didn't finish his thought, but brought his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

His lips were so soft, so gentle; she couldn't help but sigh into him. She quickly deepened the kiss and thrust her tongue into his mouth. He responded in kind. Her left hand snaked its way up his shoulder to his neck, while her right found its way to the waistband of his jeans to begin untucking his shirt. Her kisses were getting more demanding and her hands were more aggressive in their travels.

"Sara, stop!" He said as he ripped his lips from hers. His hands had left her back and he was grasping her upper arms to put some distance between them.

"Why should I? Isn't that why you brought me here? That's all I'm good for anyway!" She tried to reach for him again, but he stood firm.

"Is that really what you think? Is that the kind of man you think I am?" The hurt and pain was evident in the way his voice shook as he spoke. He took a shuddering breath. "Sara, I do not now, nor have I EVER, thought of you as only good for sex. Do I want to make love with you? Yes. But, know this, even if we never sleep together, my opinion of you will not change. You are one of the brightest, most intelligent, people I know, and I don't think I deserved that."

She lowered her head and quietly gave in to her feelings of regret." You're right. You didn't deserve that. I am lashing out at you because I can't lash out at whom I am really angry at, and I know you will still be here when I'm through being an ass. I'm sorry."

He put a crooked finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to his. "Don't make a habit of it, OK?" He smiled at her nod. " You look tired, and I know I need a nap before I go into work tonight." At her look of panic, he said," I'll get a pillow and take the couch."

"You are going to work?"

"Just for a few hours. Tons of paperwork. I plan on being home around midnight. You won't be here alone for very long, and all you have to do is call my cell." Seeing her indecision, he whispered, "It'll be alright, honey. I promise."

She nodded and turned for the bedroom. Half-way there she stopped, and glancing over her shoulder, she said," Will you sleep with me? I need you there. Please?" Her voice softened with each sentence.

He took her hand and led her down the hall to his bedroom. After they kicked off their shoes, they lay on the bed and he pulled a quilt up over their bodies. He turned on his side and pulled her back to his chest, putting his arm around her waist. He felt her sobbing, so he pulled her closer to his warmth. Never wanting to let her go.