Ghosts

Chapter 2

J.R. Ewing walked down the hallway to check on John Ross before turning in for the night. He thought about that fiasco him and John Ross had to endure when Vanessa Beaumont had him convinced that her son James was J.R.'s son. He was still trying to make it up to John Ross. Someday, he hoped that they could put all that behind them. Vanessa might have been the first woman J.R. had ever been intimate with but it was Sue Ellen Shepard, Miss Texas 1967 who stole his heart. John Ross was their son, and they had the blood and DNA tests to prove it. John Ross was the best thing to come out of his relationship with Sue Ellen.

J.R. opened the door to his son's bedroom and found John Ross sound asleep. What a day they had both had. It had taken eight years for Sue Ellen to realize that she belonged back in Texas. She belonged back at Southfork. In his wildest and most optimistic dreams, she belonged back with J.R., in his bedroom - as his wife. If only . . .

J.R. closed the door to John Ross' bedroom and walked the few, short steps to his room. He wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling at that moment, but there was no way he could go to sleep without a drink under his belt. Bourbon and branch ought to do the trick - heavy on the bourbon, light on the branch, he laughed to himself. He drank the only drink Jock Ewing ever thought a Texas oilman should drink, any oilman worth doing business with, at least. He couldn't wait to get back into the oil business. Ewing Oil had been taken away from J.R. by his brother, Bobby and that idiot Cliff Barnes. Daddy must be turnin' over in his grave, he thought, shaking his head. There was no way in hell that a Barnes would ever be workin' at Ewing Oil when Jock Ewing was alive.

J.R. poured himself a double from the mini bar in his bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He was alone with his thoughts and haunted by his memories. So much had changed in his life since Jock's plane had crashed in Panama. When the courts had declared Jock Ewing dead, part of J.R died along with him. He had felt so isolated, for the first time in his life. Then Sue Ellen took John Ross with her to live with that saddle-tramp, Dusty Farlow at the Southern Cross Ranch in San Angelo. Thank God that relationship ended. Now, she had ended her marriage to that British movie producer Don Lockwood. How could he have let her get so far away from Dallas, he asked himself?

He had no one to blame but his own selfish motives for driving Sue Ellen into the arms of another man, any man. He had spent the last eight years' speculating how he could ever change the infernal will he had to be with so many different women just for the sake of intimacy. He still couldn't fathom why he was so terrified of intimacy with Sue Ellen. It wasn't the sex that frightened him, the sex was fantastic, it was the fact that she knew him better than he even knew himself. That's what terrified him. It had always terrified him, as far as he was concerned.

J.R. sat the glass of bourbon he had quickly emptied down on the night stand, next to his bed and walked out of his bedroom. He walked across the hall to Sue Ellen's bedroom. He felt giddy with the excitement he felt at knowing that she had agreed to stay at Southfork. Slowly he opened the door to her room. She looked so peaceful. She always looked peaceful when she was asleep. He gazed at her as if he were trying to make an indelible impression in his mind about every detail of her appearance, just in case she decided to leave again. He was quiet as he stood there just inside the door frame. The last thing in the world he wanted to happen was for her to wake up and find him staring at her. What would she think? What would he say to her? Would she be angry at him? Would she . . . ? He closed the door and went back to his room.

Sunlight filtered through the draperies in Sue Ellen's bedroom. Lazily, she stretched her arms above her head. She reached for her watch she had sat on the night stand the night before. She was shocked to see that it was already 10:30 in the morning. The day was almost half over, and she was barely getting out of bed. Gratefully, she felt a little relieved that she didn't have to face J.R., at least not until she could muster up the courage to do so. Sue Ellen thought that she had finally reached a point in her life when she felt that she could hold her own against her feelings toward J.R. Now, she wasn't so sure - of anything. She walked into the bathroom to take a shower. She hoped that the shower would alleviate some or all of the jet-lag she was sure she was fighting.

The steaming rivulets of hot water pelting her skin helped take her mind off of the emotions she had dealt with from the events of the day before. It was very thoughtful of J.R. to accompany John Ross to meet her as she got off of the plane. She thought to herself, "Were his intentions genuine, or did he have some devious, ulterior motive?" Whom was she kidding? J.R. didn't make a move without thinking about the next course of his actions. He always organized his actions before he made his next move. He had done this in the boardroom – and the bedroom.

Sue Ellen finished her shower and dried herself off. She put on a dress she had purchased at a market in Soho. It was a sage green crepe with side slits to allow for ease of motion when she walked. She appreciated the fact that the fabric moved with her when she moved and hung to her form in a provocative, yet an elegant manner. She always did have excellent taste in clothing. She had become familiar with fashions and fabrics as the driving force behind the continuing success of 'Valentine Lingerie.' The color of the dress helped accentuate the hazel color of her large, expressive eyes. She applied a little bit of make-up to her freshly washed face. A couple coats of mascara and some lip balm, and she was finished. She had gotten used to wearing lip balm in effort to stave off the ravages of London weather.

Sue Ellen went downstairs to pour herself a cup of coffee, hoping that the caffeine would ease the tension headache she had fought since the night before. When she lived in London, she had grown accustomed to drinking tea, but she still longed for the taste of a good cup of coffee. She found herself pleasantly surprised to discover that the dining room was empty. The aroma of the morning repast hung heavily in the air. She wasn't hungry, she was feeling out of sorts from the flight. She walked through the kitchen and looked outside through the sliding doors leading out to the patio. She opened the door, and stepped outside. She sat at the patio table, gazing out across the ranch. She wondered where everyone had "disappeared" to.

J.R. and John Ross Ewing had driven into the Dallas/Ft. Worth area to get a surprise gift for Sue Ellen. The top was down on J.R.'s Cadillac Allante' and the heat from the midday sun was already beating down on them. They parked the car in front of Tiffany and Co., just off the Dallas Parkway. The Manager of the store recognized J.R. immediately and knew an easy sell when he saw one. The Ewing name had long since been associated with money and good taste, especially when it came to jewelry. John Ross told the Manager that he was looking for a simple silver bracelet to give to his Mother, as a "Welcome Home" present. As John Ross walked away to look at the bracelets, J.R. found himself staring down at the diamond solitaires in the display case. He remembered the first engagement ring he'd ever given to Sue Ellen. It seemed like only yesterday. "Yesterday was a good day," he thought, smiling. He noticed a particular ring that caught his eye. It was a Ten-Carat V/VS-1, Radiant cut diamond, set atop a beautiful platinum band. It was absolutely flawless; much larger than the first diamond he'd given Sue Ellen. "What was he thinking," He murmured. She'd only been back in town for twenty-four hours, and he was already thinking about tomorrow. That woman could still bring out the romantic side of him, he thought.

John Ross decided on a simple, platinum cuff. It was the kind of bracelet Sue Ellen usually wore, but this one would be one she would treasure, because her son had given it to her. John Ross and his father left the store and headed back to Southfork with the gift for Sue Ellen. They were both euphoric as they drove home. J.R. found himself whistling the same old tune he used to when he was younger. John Ross asked, "Dad, are you glad that Mamma's back at Southfork?" J.R smiled and said, "Yep, son, I sure am." "It'll be nice havin' your Mamma around, again," he replied. John Ross beamed from ear to ear at the thought of his parents, back together again, even if they weren't married to each other. They were living under the same roof, and he knew that his Mamma and his Daddy had a history that often repeated itself.

Sue Ellen finished her cup of coffee, and arose from the patio table. She decided to walk around the ranch, maybe even go to the stables and look in on the horses. She was an exceptional rider, but that had been several years ago. There would be no harm in looking. She had an eye for beautiful things, including animals. She took in a deep breath and the fragrance of Miss Ellie's flower garden once again filled her senses. She closed her eyes. How she had missed this place she used to call home. She had missed a lot of things when she lived in London. "No, no, no," she chastised herself. "What's done is done," she said. It was time to stop living with the ghosts of her past and exorcize her demons. For too many years, while she was married to Don, she had fought the ever-present specter of his long-deceased wife. She could not compete with a ghost, and she knew when enough was enough. It didn't mean that she had failed, she thought. It simply meant that she had become strong enough, and smart enough to know when the time had come to let go.

She was standing by the interior fence of the ranch, just outside of the stables when J.R. and John Ross pulled into the driveway. John Ross went into the house to put the finishing touches on the gift he bought for Sue Ellen. J.R. looked around and saw Sue Ellen, standing with her back to the house. He watched as the afternoon breeze engaged the fabric of her dress. She was such a fetching woman. He recalled the very first time he had seen Sue Ellen. She walked across the stage at the 1967 Miss Texas pageant. He had been a judge and she was one of the thirty-five contestants. Blondes, brunettes, redheads - none of them could hold a candle to that woman, the same woman catching his eye at that very moment. She was his yellow rose. She used to write love letters to him and end them with 'Your Yellow Rose. God how he had loved her, he thought.

J.R. covered the distance between him and Sue Ellen and said, "'Afternoon, Darlin'." "Did you sleep well?" "Yes," she replied."How are you feelin', today, J.R," She asked. She was pleased that the conversation between them was pleasant. He could hear the sound of a Texas drawl mixed with an English accent in her voice and it made him smile. "I'm glad you are here Sue Ellen," he said. "I haven't seen John Ross this happy in years." "We drove into Dallas and he got ya' a little trinket." Sue Ellen looked at J.R. She navigated the lines of his appearance. The brim of his Stetson cast a long shadow across his face, but she knew him so well, she could see him without looking. He was still a handsome man, she thought. She tried to discern what he was thinking from the look on his face. She frequently tried to gage his thoughts by his expression. J.R. Ewing had always worn a poker face, except when he was looking at Sue Ellen. He started to speak, but his words fell short.

"Was there something you wanted to say, J.R.?" She asked. "I don't want to pressure you, Sue Ellen." "I was just wondering why you divorced that Lockwood character," J.R said. Sue Ellen sighed and defensively barked, "Not that it's any of your concern, J.R., some marriages simply do not work out." "Now, Darlin', I didn't want to upset you," "I was merely trying to help you ease some of the tension I could feel you holdin' onto by talking about what was botherin' you," said J.R. "You forget how well I know you, Sue Ellen." They both smiled at each other. "Do you really want to know, J.R.?" she asked. J.R said, "Only if you'd like talk to about it."

She turned away from him and started to speak. "Don lost his first wife to cancer a few years before I met him." "I believed he was over her when I agreed to marry him, but as time went on, I realized that as much as he said that he loved me, he had never quite gotten over the feelings he had for her." "Gradually, we wound up spending more and more time apart and that was when I realized that he was still in love with her." She continued, "Do you know how it feels to spend each waking hour haunted by someone you cannot see, J.R.?" J.R considered what Sue Ellen had asked. Did he know what that felt like? Did he ever? Not a day had gone by in the past few years that he hadn't thought about the woman standing before him. He wondered how she felt, what she was doing, did she ever think about him? He decided not to reveal the thoughts racing through his mind, and simply took her hand.

They continued in silence as they walked about the ranch. Sue Ellen enjoyed the touch of his hand on her skin. She hadn't seen this gentle side of her ex-husband for a very long time. J.R. Ewing was tough as nails, but he could be tender, as well. Every rose has its thorns, she thought. They continued to walk to the tree where J.R., Gary and Bobby used to play in when they were young. Sue Ellen stopped and stood by the headstone of Miss Ellie's brother, Garrison Southworth. Years earlier, Jock and Miss Ellie had agreed to let Garrison be buried at the ranch, because Southfork had once belonged to Miss Ellie's father, long before Miss Ellie became Mrs. John Ross "Jock" Ewing I.

The afternoon breeze blew strands of Sue Ellen's hair in her face. J.R deftly reached out to brush the hair away. He leaned over and placed a delicate kiss on her cheek. She leaned into him, out of habit, and out of need. The touch of a man - even J.R., was a welcome change from the loneliness she had come to know over the past few years. J.R. could smell the perfume Sue Ellen wore. She wore Accenti by Gucci. The floral accents delightfully blended with the scent of vanilla, peach and raspberry became a heady combination when coupled with the scent of her just showered skin. J.R. basked in this moment. Sue Ellen and he fit so well together, physically and mentally. Their bodies blended perfectly, pressed together as if they had been molded that way. He put his arms around her waist and held her to him. He almost expected her to break his grasp, but she didn't resist. She allowed herself to stay in his arms, her back pressed gently against his chest. The rise and fall of her breathing soon meshed with his. J.R. felt as if they were one. They swayed in a hypnotic rhythm, almost as if they were dancing. J.R. wanted this moment to last forever. Please, God, let me have this moment, and any moment hereafter, he prayed. J.R. wasn't a religious man, but he did know that what went around, came around. The past few years had taught him that.

Sue Ellen opened her eyes and looked at him over her shoulder. J.R. returned her gaze. He cupped her chin in his hand as she turned her body around to face him. He moved his hand from her hip to the small of her back in an effort to pull her closer to him. He kissed her on the mouth and her lips gently parted to accept his kiss. He was again surprised that she didn't reject his advances. The kiss was intensely passionate, speaking volumes of how they both felt about each other. They stopped kissing long enough to catch their breath. Still held tightly in his arms, Sue Ellen laid her head against his shoulder. How she had missed being held and feeling wanted. She didn't care that it was her first ex-husband, but she was content knowing that someone cared.

J.R didn't know what had changed in his life to allow for this moment but he was grateful for it. He, too, had forgotten how good it felt to hold a woman close. He had forgotten the softness of a woman's skin against his own. He never imagined that the woman would be Sue Ellen. He held her, not wanting to let go, not willing to let the moment, however brief, pass him by. The afternoon breeze stirred and carried with it the sound of distant footsteps.

J.R.'s eyes roamed the horizon. He saw John Ross running toward them. John Ross was smiling as he ran. Sue Ellen and J.R. interrupted their embrace and walked hand in hand to meet him halfway. John Ross asked them what they were doing. "Talking," J.R said, winking at Sue Ellen. "We were just talking, son." Sue Ellen gave J.R an approving smile as the three of them walked back toward the house.