Trauma
Chapter 12
"You know, Sara," Dr. Grimes continued," I think you are wrong about Grissom. I don't think that it is just guilt and responsibility he feels towards you. That would explain some, but certainly not all, of his actions."
"I don't think so, Doc. We used to be friends, good friends, but even before all this our relationship was in the toilet." Sara said sadly.
"Well then! Maybe I should meet this Dr. Grissom. I mean, if he doesn't go for a young, beautiful, brunette; maybe he likes wrinkly, old, red heads!" she cackled.
"May be, Doc," Sara laughed, "It just may be."
Telling everyone at work that he had gotten the bruise on his chin during a pick-up basketball game at the youth center, Warrick kept Grissom's confidence to himself. Nothing more was said about the incident between the two men as each knew that he could trust the other…with his life if need be.
Sara returned to work two nights later to bear hugs and gentle teasing about her 'life of leisure'. She knew that they were not diminishing or dismissing what had happened, they were giving her time and space to adjust. They were letting her know that they would be there to help her through what was sure to be rough times ahead.
When Grissom told her that she would be on light lab duties for a few days, she was relieved and angry at the same time. When he saw the frustration flash in her eyes, he quickly reminded her that, technically, she wasn't supposed to be at work yet. He smiled at her grumble.
'That's my Sara,' he thought to himself.
MY SARA. When had he started thinking of her that way? If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he had always thought that. From the moment he laid eyes on her, even before he knew her name.
My Sara. Sara and me. Sara and Gil. Mr. and Mrs. …… don't go there, Gil. She had been in his thoughts for years, but when had she seeped into his soul? He loved her. Something his heart and body had known for a long time, but his mind was just now admitting to itself.
He constantly wanted to touch her. If it was more than an hour before he saw her or heard her voice, his heart, along with other more obvious body parts, ached. God, he was just like a horny teenager. Only, he didn't remember his teen years being this exquisitely painful. When he was away from her, he wanted to be with her. When he was with her, he knew he had better get away from her before he did something stupid. Like kiss her. Or worse, tell her how he felt about her.
My Sara. Where do we go from here?
Sara had never been so happy to see the start of her menses in her life. Not even that time in college when she and Glen had gotten in too big of a hurry and forgotten the condom. At least she wouldn't have to face a pregnancy, too.
"I need to go home, Griss."
His face fell as he answered," I know." He knew that their present living arrangement wouldn't last, but he had been in denial about her eventual leaving.
"I don't want to go alone," She murmured.
"Come on, I'll go with you. I want to make sure that Nick and Warrick replaced those deadbolts like I asked."
"You had them change my locks?" she asked in wonder.
"Yes, I hope that's o.k. I also had Catherine get you a new mattress set and linens. Greg wanted to help, so I sent him on a grocery run. So be sure you check the labels before you eat anything," he ended with a smirk.
At her open-mouthed stare, he quickly added," We have the old stuff in the evidence lock-up if you want… or need to see it."
"I might. But later. Not yet." Sara dropped her eyes to the floor." Thank you. I can't believe all of you did this for me."
"Sara, we all care about you. Some of us more than others." He crooked his finger under her chin to raise her eyes to his.
As he leaned in for a gentle kiss, he heard her whisper," I'm scared, Gil."
He jerked away as if she had slapped him, panic in his eyes. This could not be happening. Not after he had finally knocked down the walls to his heart.
"Of me?" he asked quietly, dreading the answer.
Seeing the fear in his cobalt eyes and hearing it in his shaking voice, she gently raised her hand to stroke his cheek." No, Griss. Of going back there. Of facing …"
At her unspoken thought, he gathered her in his strong arms. "I know, honey. I know"
Grissom unlocked her apartment door with the new keys Nick had given him and quickly scanned the room before allowing Sara inside.
"Stay here while I check things out," He told her as he went to the kitchen to check the locks on the windows. Looking in the pantry, he saw that most of the food there looked fairly normal and edible. The questionable looking stuff were things he had seen Sara eat before, so, he guessed that they were acceptable, too. He had to admit, Greg had done a good job. Probably better than he could have done himself.
He stepped back into an empty living room. "Sara?" He followed the footprints in the freshly vacuumed carpet to her bedroom door.
The window that had been broken that night by the rapists trying to escape had been replaced and the broken glass and other detritus had been cleared away. Catherine had placed the orchid that he had sent Sara on her dresser. Beside the plant there was a framed photograph. Sara's copy of the photo that Grissom had kept hidden in his sock drawer.
Looking around the neat, fresh room, a person would not guess the trauma and horror that had occurred here just a few weeks before.
Grissom felt a trembling hand slide into his. He glanced at her face and saw the tears stream silently down her cheeks. She was so strong, so beautiful, so… his control broke and he felt the moisture on his own face. Moving behind her, he wrapped his solid arms around her shaking body. They stood like that, holding and being held, comforting and being comforted.
At almost he same moment, they realized that their self-pity mourning time was over. It was time to move on. They knew that there would be rough times and cruel memories ahead, but they would get through. Hopefully together, but maybe not. It would be a long time before either would stand in the sunshine, but at least there was a glow on the horizon.
Suddenly, Sara slapped him on the arm." How could you let Greg get my groceries?" she demanded playfully.
"Well, I thought it would be better than letting him decorate your bedroom," he answered with an audible grin.
