Ghosts

Chapter 7

Sue Ellen sat in her seat in first class on the plane headed for London's Heathrow Airport. She stared out the window of the plane as it banked to turn in the necessary direction. Thank God that she was seated by herself, she thought, Tears had stained her face as she had said "good-bye" to J.R. and her son, John Ross. She added to those stains as the pilot announced his welcome speech to all the planes' passengers. Sue Ellen didn't hear a word that came over the speaker. She was miserable. She desperately missed J.R. Weeks earlier, it would have been impossible to imagine missing someone who had made her life a living hell for so many years. That had all changed with the touch of his hand on her arm and the kiss of his lips on her cheek when she had first arrived in Dallas a month before. She closed her eyes, longing for his touch against her skin right now.

" I wish you were here, J.R.," she whispered. Sue Ellen hugged her arms tightly to her chest, in a pathetic attempt to simulate the way it felt as he held her before her departure. It's so bloody unfair, she thought. Her time spent in England had lent itself to a more colorful way of expressing her discontent. J.R. had been so supportive to her after Miranda, Don's sister, had called the ranch to 'inform' Sue Ellen of Don's suicide attempt. Anger welled up inside her as she remembered how hurt she had been when Miranda had insinuated that Sue Ellen was to blame for Don's actions. If Miranda were there right now, thought Sue Ellen, she'd ring her sagging, wrinkled neck. The picture this painted for Sue Ellen helped ease some of the frustration she felt about the whole situation awaiting her in London.

J.R. and John Ross sat in silence in the Ewing Limousine. J.R. poured himself a drink, a double bourbon, straight - no ice, no branch water. J.R. rapidly downed the entire glass and poured himself another. He had almost finished his second drink when John Ross said, "It's okay, Daddy." "Mamma's gonna come back to us, I just know it." J.R sat the glass down on the mini bar in the back of the limousine and pulled his son into his arms. Out of the mouths of babes- just like his Mamma, Miss Ellie used to say, thought J.R. Tears slowly fell down J.R.'s cheeks. He should have stopped Sue Ellen from leaving them. He should have pleaded with her to stay. He should have done, or said a thousand things to her, but he left the final decision up to Sue Ellen.

Dammit! Why did he ever let her get away? J.R. put his hand up to his eyes, attempting to damper his emotions. He could smell Sue Ellen's perfume on his hand as he brought it to his face. She always smelled so intoxicating to him. It didn't matter what perfume she wore, the very essence of Sue Ellen had always gone to his head. He closed his eyes as he remembered the perfume she wore when they had kissed by the tree at Southfork . . .

Sue Ellen picked up the telephone and asked the international operator to ring the phone number for Southfork Ranch, Braddock, Texas. Teresa answered the phone and was surprised when Sue Ellen said, "Hello, Teresa, Its Mrs. Ewing." Sue Ellen smiled at her faux pas. It wasn't that terrible, referring to the time she had spent as Mrs. Ewing, the thought bittersweet to her when she considered why she had to call the ranch long distance in the first place. She almost burst into tears when she heard John Ross ' voice. "Mamma, I've been waiting all day for you to call. How was your flight?" he asked. God, she wished that circumstances were different. She mustered up the courage to tell him how much she missed him already and she would call again really soon. Sue Ellen asked John Ross if J.R was home. She heard her son set the phone on the table and the sound of his footsteps as he went to find his father. The sound of J.R.'s voice on the other line was the most welcome sound she had heard all day. "Darlin', it's good to hear your voice," he said. "I was hoping that you'd call. I know you told John Ross you'd call, but..." Sue Ellen interrupted, "J.R., I am in love with you, can't you get that through your thick skull?"she asked, teasingly. "I miss you," she said to him, hoping to hear he felt the same. J.R. exhaled, he felt as though he had been holding his breath all day. The words she said to him were the release he'd needed. "God, Sweetheart, I miss you. I spent the entire night on the balcony staring out at the horizon. I kept thinkin' that the plane might turn around and bring you back home," his voice deepened as he spoke to her. She felt her emotions rising to the surface as the brunt of what J.R. had said to her made their point. J.R. made her promise to call if she needed anything, no matter the hour. Sue Ellen agreed. She said, "I've got to run to the hospital now, J.R. I'll call you after I see how Don is doing." The hollow sound of the call disconnecting caused J.R to flinch.

Sue Ellen walked through the doors of The Bethlehem Royal Hospital. The sounds of her high heels were clicking the floor as she walked up to the information booth in the hospital lobby. The receptionist asked her if she could be of any assistance. Sue Ellen asked for directions to the intensive care unit. The receptionist gave her directions and pointed her to the elevator that would take her to Unit 6. Sue Ellen pushed the button for the sixth floor on the panel inside the elevator.

"Please, God, give me strength," she whispered, as the elevator came to a stop. The doors opened to reveal the pristine white corridor leading to the ICU. Sue Ellen could smell the mixture of antiseptic and oxygen and it made her gag. She hated hospitals. She hated the way they smelled. She remembered when she had been in the hospital when she had shot J.R. after his argument with her lover, Nicholas Pierce. Nicholas had fallen off the balcony of the Ewing Condo after a scuffle with J.R. It was an accident, J.R. didn't mean to send Nicholas to his death, but in her emotional state at the time, she blamed J.R. Sue Ellen had grabbed the gun J.R. had dropped and shot him with it, twice. She put her hands to her head in an effort to clear those painful memories. Sue Ellen heard the sound of Miranda's shrill voice asking, "What took you so bloody long?" Sue Ellen felt her earlier desire to wrench this woman's neck surfacing. "You needn't worry about me Miranda, luv. The only reason I have for even dragging my ass back here is Don." Sue Ellen retorted, her British accent increasing as she spoke. Miranda stared at Sue Ellen, shocked and outraged that Sue Ellen would dare speak to her that way. Sue Ellen angrily pushed Miranda aside as she carefully peered around the glass door to Don's room.

J.R. spent the rest of the day sitting in his bedroom. He was drowning his sorrows in a bottle of bourbon. He wondered if he could get drunk enough to get amnesia? It'd be a helluva lot better than livin' with remembering how he felt when Sue Ellen's plane took her away, he thought. He leaned back on the bed, holding the bottle of bourbon with one hand and covering his eyes with the other hand. He couldn't get images of Sue Ellen out of his mind. He didn't want to. He closed his eyes and couldn't see anything but her beautiful smile. He pictured her so distinctly that he found himself reaching out to her. He always reached out to her as he watched her walk away from him. It didn't matter where she went, he was simply trying to hold on to her, even if it was only in his imagination. Before Sue Ellen left to go to London the day before, J.R hadn't needed to use his imagination. He was comforted and satisfied feeling her next to him, everywhere - anywhere they went. He didn't have to reach out to her. She was there. She was with him. The night she spent with him in his bed was a night he knew he'd never forget. The way she acted with him in her hotel room at the Hyatt, after he apologized for mistreating her, he could still remember how incredible it felt when she had seduced him. Incredible, he thought. J.R. uttered with an aroused sigh, as he recalled their passion over the past few weeks. He needed a shower - a very cold shower.

Sue Ellen couldn't believe how pitiful Don looked. He was hooked up to a dozen tubes and wires. The tubes and wires were connected to a wall of lifesaving and life-sustaining medical equipment. Don had IV tubes in both of his arms and a breathing tube in his mouth. Sue Ellen could hardly bare to look at him. She didn't even recognize him at first. His eyes were sunken in and his complexion was ashen. What had happened to the vibrant man she used to call her husband? When they had both agreed to a divorce, Don gave her no indication that he had a problem with her leaving. He had told her that she had to do what she had to do. If it was so difficult living with a man who still carried a torch for his dead wife, then she should leave. He had said nothing to her then that gave her any indication that he still loved her. She watched him as she folded her arms in front of her. What could possibly have happened to cause Don to try to take his own life? She wondered, refusing to feel responsible for the shell of the man laying motionless across from her.

Sue Ellen turned around and asked the nurse if she could speak to the physician in charge of Don's treatment. The nurse checked the floor records, and called the doctor. She handed Sue Ellen the phone. Sue Ellen spoke, "Yes, This is Sue Ellen Lockwood. Don Lockwood is my uh, husband." She was hesitant to call Don her husband, but willing to do so if it got her the information she sought. The doctor told her that Don had overdosed on sleeping pills and it would be touch and go, if he were to recover at all. Sue Ellen asked the doctor if Don had a prescription for the pills he took. Sue Ellen had never seen Don take a single aspirin tablet the entire time they were together, much less a sleeping pill. The doctor asked her to hold, while he searched Don's medical chart. The doctor promptly returned and said that the bottle they had found next to Don's bed, before they brought him in, belonged to Mrs. Miranda Barrington. "Oh my God..." Sue Ellen said as she hung up the phone.

J.R. awoke to a pounding headache, and used his hands to shield his eyes from the light filtering into his bedroom. J.R. rubbed his eyes, trying to rid them of the telltale signs of a hangover. He turned over his shoulder and looked at the bed. The place where only days ago the only woman he ever wanted to be with, for as long as he lived, had slept there. He spread his hand out over the sheets. "Damn that bastard, Don Lockwood!"J.R. shouted, wincing as the volume of his voice thundered in his throbbing head. He stood up and went into his bathroom to take something - anything to alleviate his aching head. "Now, if they could come up with a pill to take away my aching heart..." he said, aloud, as he opened the door to the medicine cabinet. He ripped the cap off the bottle of aspirin with his teeth and spat it on the floor. He swallowed three of the little white tablets, following them down his throat with a sip of water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and realized that he hadn't showered or shaved since he had taken Sue Ellen to the airport. How long ago was that? He wondered, guessing that maybe he had managed to get so inebriated that he really did forget. He wasn't fooling anyone. He walked out of the bathroom and opened his bedroom door.

J.R. walked across the hall to the room where the rest of Sue Ellen's luggage was being stored. He opened one of the suitcases and pulled out one of Sue Ellen's nightgowns. He brought the gown near his face, inhaling as he buried his face in the garment. God, he could still smell her, he thought, appreciatively. He closed his eyes, willing her to come back. He devoutly wished that she were there. J.R. carefully replaced the gown in the suitcase and walked over to the phone on Sue Ellen's night stand. J.R. dialed information."London, England, the Landmark Hotel, please?" J.R. asked. He had to hear Sue Ellen's voice. He had to ask her when, or if she was coming back. "Landmark, how may we help you?' the nasally tone of the voice on the other end of the phone served as a reminder that his head was still pounding. "I'd like to speak with Mrs. Sue Ellen Lockwood, please?'J.R asked. The desk clerk informed him that there was no answer in her room, but he would gladly take a message and be sure that Mrs. Lockwood was made aware of his call. "No, Thank You kindly. I'll try her cell." J.R. said as his voice caught in his throat.

Sue Ellen returned the phone to the nurses' outstretched hand. She turned around and ran to the elevator, repeatedly pushing the button in an effort to speed the elevators' arrival. Once inside, she pushed the button to send the elevator to the hospital lobby. She anxiously watched as the floor numbers blinked at her as the car descended to the main level. The doors opened and Sue Ellen rushed out. She was oblivious to the individuals staring at her as she ran. She called for a taxi to take her back to her hotel. She fully intended on calling the police, to make sure that they knew that the sleeping pills that Don had ingested, belonged to Miranda. She needed to call J.R. first. The taxi stopped in front of the Landmark. She thanked the driver and threw him a handful of money, as she hurried into the hotel. The large Victorian style, brass doors opened into a generous lobby atrium. Under normal circumstances, Sue Ellen would have taken time to admire the opulent surroundings. That luxury would have to wait for another time. She rode the elevator to the floor of her hotel room. She heard the phone ring on the other side of the door, as she fumbled with the pass card that allowed entry into the room. Finally, the green light on the doorknob flashed, accepting the embedded code. She tossed the card on the rooms' desk, along with her handbag. She reached for the phone, breathlessly saying, "Hello."

"Sue Ellen?" It was J.R. She felt such a relief at merely hearing his voice. "Did you find out anything about Don? He asked. Not really caring, but his love for Sue Ellen was lending him a smattering of compassion. "The doctor isn't sure if he'll come out of it or not, " Sue Ellen calmly said, glad that she had regained control of her emotions. "I miss you, Darlin', I wanted to know if you had any idea how long you'd be stayin' in London?" the sound of his voice was music to her ears. "I'm not sure, J.R. I can tell you this much, I miss you," Sue Ellen said, her pulse increasing as she thought about the last time they had made love. She shivered as she remembered how she felt when he took her. "Oh, J.R., I wish you were here. I love you," she said in a demure voice. "I'll call you tomorrow,' she said, awaiting his response. "I love you, too, Sugar. I'll be waiting for you." J.R smiled as the dial tone sounded in his ear.