Title: I Hope Tomorrow Is Like Today

Author: Courtney

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Pairing: Mac/Stella

Summary: Stella sleeps, Mac broods.

Author's notes: I suppose this could be considered a part of the same universe as my first Mac/Stella fic, 'When the Rain Comes', but it's not really meant to be a sequel. This one is more of a relationship piece as opposed to the hurt/comfort of the other story. Oh yeah, and the song lyrics and title belong to Guster.


I'm awake, you're still sleeping
The sun will rise like yesterday
Everything that we are now
Is everything we can't let go
Or its gone forever, far away

When he opens his eyes, the room is still draped in shadows. The sun hasn't risen and even though it's more morning than night, it doesn't feel that way.

She's still sleeping and he should be, too. They probably only fell asleep a few hours before. Mac has things on his mind, though, and his thoughts refuse to let him rest.

Turning onto his side, he takes in the sight of the woman in his bed. This is the part that never gets old, the part he never wants to live without. He loves looking at her, watching her sleep.

He reaches out and touches her face gently with the backs of his fingers, just a light touch, not enough to wake her. Her skin is smooth and warm. Real.

He loves her.

I hope tomorrow is like today
Don't you go away tomorrow
I don't think I could handle that

He hasn't told her yet, even though they've been sleeping together for weeks and they've been dancing around each other for God only knows how long. He's sure that she already knows, but that's not the point and Mac knows that, too.

The truth is that he's just not sure how to tell her. How do you tell someone that they are your whole life, your reason for getting up in the morning and for moving forward with anything and everything in your life? How do you say all that . . . and not scare that person away?

Just the thought of not spending his life with Stella terrifies him. He's already lost one love and he's certain that he can't handle that again. He needs this to work, to be forever.


You're probably dreaming that you're flying on
Then you start to fall
But then you rise
and shine forever

Her eyelids flutter, but she still doesn't wake and Mac knows that she's dreaming. He wonders if he inhabits her dreams the way that she does his.

He sighs, closing his eyes and willing himself back to sleep. Darkness and solitude only make him brood more, at least that's what Stella says. He's starting to see her point.

"Hey, you okay?" he hears her ask. He opens his eyes and turns to see her watching him now, her elegant brows knitting together in concern. He wishes she'd stayed asleep now because he hates to make her worry.

"I'm fine," he replies.

"Yeah, right," she counters and then she's scooting closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder. "Tell me," she instructs. Sometimes he hates how well she knows him.

"I'm just . . . it's nothing, really," he edges. "You know how I get when I'm alone."

"You're not alone," she reminds him. She means it as a reassurance and he knows this, even before her fingers link through his across his chest.

They stay quiet for a while, listening to one another breathe and drawing comfort from being together. Stella is the one to finally break the silence.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mac."

"I know," he says and he wants that to be true.

"You should," she says resolutely.

"Have dinner with me tonight," he says and Stella knows that it's a request, one that she will, of course, accept.

"Where?" she asks.

"Here," he answers. "I'll cook."

"Spaghetti," she says and he laughs. She has a thing for his spaghetti.

"Anything you want," he concedes. He thinks to himself, 'I'll give you everything you want.'

He doesn't know that he already has.

Don't go away
I hope tomorrow is like today


The End

March 19, 2005