A/N: I got this idea out of nowhere and I decided to write it out while I'm figuring what to do for my other story. Anyways, I'm not really good at writing humor so plz don't flame me... everybody's gotta start somewhere.
The Life of Orochimaru:
Today was an unconditionably boring day so I decided to take out one of my books to read. By the way, my name is Orochimaru and I like butter cookies. Anyways, while I was searching through my ever so impressive collection of books, I realized something. I needed new books... or to be more truthful, I realized that I needed a book.
So, I headed towards a nearby book-store and managed to get there surprisingly, without any inconvenience what so ever which is very strange because I'm very popular.
As I entered, my jaw dropped to the floor. The store was like a glorious sanctuary of golden oppertunity. Books of all kinds and color were sitting side by side. Each and every book stood out in it's own way and I was dazzled by such beauty. I didn't know which book to choose from. They were all so, so, so magnificant.
Then suddenly, a beam of sunlight came and struck a single book on the top shelf. Immedietly, I knew that it was the one. Heck, I could even hear it calling my name. Oro, Oro-kun...
"Oro, Oro-kun? Can I help you?" I snapped back to reality and saw a store employee standing infront of me. I was kind of pissed because she had called me 'Oro' but since I was in such a good mood for the time being, I decided to let it go.
"Uhh, I'd like to take that book," I said pointing towards 'the book' on the top shelf.
"Sure," the store employee replied as she retrieved the book and handed it over to me.
I reached into my pocked to get some money out when the employee spoke up.
"Don't worry, first timers get their books free," the employee said randomly.
"Oh, O.K," I replied and was about to leave when I noticed Jiraiya looking through a section of the store. So, seeing as he was my team-mate and all, I decided to go and greet him.
"Jiraiya," I said from behind him.
He jumped from shock and I noticed his face was very red. What's with him?
"Umm, hey Oro," Jiraiya said as he slowly regained composture. "I didn't know you were into these things as well."
"Huh?" I was confused and annoyed. Confused because I had no idea what Jiraiya was talking about and annoyed... well, you should know by now... because I hate.... no, because I ever so strongly disliked being called Oro. I'm not saying I hate it because, frankly, 'hate' is a very strong word.
"Hey, since we're both into this stuff, how 'bout we share?" Jiraiya asked me.
I still didn't know what he was talking about but I had a sneaky suspision that he was up to no good. Then again, I've always had suspisions about the craziest things... like me one day becoming an evil pshycotic madman. Haha, can you believe someone like me, become that? Hahaha, the day one of Jiraiya's future students become Hokage before me I will. Hahaha...
I quickly snapped out of my thought and decided I wanted to go home and read my book while eating some oh so delicious butter cookies. But in order to do that, I'll have to ditch Jiraiya even though I was the one who approached him in the first place... but that's besides the point.
"Uh, I got to go," I said bluntly.
"You don't have to be embarressed Oro," Jiraiya said, grinning.
I twitched at the sound of my nickname. "Whatever," I replied cooly and left just like that before I could do anything deadly.
As opposed to the coming trip, I recieved many greetings on my trip home. I ever so strongly disliked it... they always called me Oro. When I become Hokage, I'll make sure everyone calls me Orochimaru. That is my dream.
"Hi Oro," somebody said as I walked by.
My fists clenched and I tried to calm myself down. "Hey," I replied as I fastened my walking pace.
However, I was greeted by another person. "Hey Oro, sup?"
"Hey," I replied, gritting my teeth. I think I looked obviously pissed right now because the person who greeted me immedietly left in a hurry.
"Heya Oro!" exclaimed another person.
These people just have to piss me off so. I was ready to rip heads off. But, seeing as I didn't want to ruin my reputation, I decided to sprint home right now before I went berserk. However, I guess I somehow snapped before I could...
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I hissed at the top of my lungs and smashed the floor. My hands kinda hurt from doing so but I ignored it because I was officially pissed off right now!
The person who just addressed me shivered in fear and backed away. "Um, I'll be going now, Orochimaru."
"You better," I muttered as he left. It took me a while to calm down. I swear, if one day I ever become an evil phsycotic madman, it'll be these people's fault. I mean, how hard is it to just not call me that?! Sure, I never told them that I didn't like it but I'm preeetty sure it's obvious that I don't like being called Oro.
Soon, I noticed something... did he just call me Orochimaru? Why though? What did I do differently? Hmm, maybe it was because I went berserk. Yes, it must be because he was scared of me...
