Just Friends
I saw you there last night
Standing in the dark
You were acting so in love
With your hand upon his heart
But you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I've had other options too
But all I want is you
Girl your body fits me like a glove
And you shower me with words of love
While you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
It's not my style to lay it all on the line
But you don't leave me with a choice this time
Why weren't you true?
You know I trusted you
When you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
You were just friends
At least that's what you said
Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say I'm the one
I'll forgive you
Just Friends
-Gavin DeGraw
Your brown hair catches my eye as I scan the crowded room. The long tresses shining in the dim lights like a beacon. I look around, idly examining the hair of the others, and think that maybe your hair only stands out because I've ran my hands through it too many times to count. The colors are imprinted on my mind, as I stare at them for what seems like hours when we lay together.
But right now it's not my fingers running through your hair. It's his. My best friends'. You're looking up at him and laughing, bestowing the smile that you smile at me on him. Your hand upon his heart as you look into his eyes, your own glowing. It almost makes me sick to my stomach, thinking that you're looking at him the way that you look at me, but I know that it's innocent. Because you told me. You were just friends.
As I make my way across the room to you, I'm stooped by some girl that I vaguely recognize from one of my classes. I politely decline her generous offer of a beer, or something stronger. I'm sure that she's not talking about alcohol. I don't even consider her next blatant offer for that 'something stronger', because I know that I have it already. With you. When you curl up to me in bed at night, or when you look at me and smile that adorable half-smile. When you breathe my name as we're making love, and when your eyes go soft as you play with the ring that proudly adorns your right hand.
And most of all, I know that I have it all with you when you say that you love me. I know that I'll never get tired of you saying that you love me.
I look at you as you stand in a secluded corner with him, and I think to myself that even though it's not me that you're standing with, slowly rocking to the music that is playing, that I don't really mind. I tell myself that every time that I see you two together. I repeat your words to me to myself like a mantra that keeps me sane.
"We're just friends. You know that. You're the one that I love." You said that to me, and I know that's what you mean. It has to be. But didn't you look away as you said that? Didn't you chew on your lip?
I look at him as he brings you closer to him, and he cradles your head in his hands, and I doubt myself, I doubt you. It doesn't look as though you're putting up any fight to his invasion of your space. And as he bows down to brush hair from your face, doesn't he know that that's what I do? He dips his head, and you don't protest at light kiss that he drops onto your head.
I'm not so sure now, is it really just him who knows that he cares about you? Or are you aware of his more-than-friendly intentions towards you? And do you not care, or are you even happy about them? No, you can't be, because as you said it, you're just friends.
As I walk closer to you, I can't help but notice the way that you seem to lean into him, and I can't remember if you ever did that with me. The Joey that I know always stands apart, saying that 'a woman is as capable as any man. I don't need to lean on anybody to live my life.' Was I wrong? Or am I just seeing things that aren't there?
He repeats the action of brushing your hair from your face, and he leans down to whisper something in your ear. Your smile is radiant, and you lean up to softly brush your lips to his. Now, I know that I didn't imagine that.
Is that's how it has been? You being with me during the day, and secretly kissing him in dark corners at night? I see you brush his almost overly-long hair off his face as you say something in to his ear, something good if the smile that dominates his face is any indication.
I see you take his hand and turn around, and I know the second that you see me; your body freezes, your eyes widen, and then you hurriedly drop his hand, the hand that you had been cradling warmly within your own only seconds before. You walk over to me, and look at my face, which I'm sure is a mask of stone. Looking back at him, and then back at me, you open and then close your mouth, seemingly lost for words.
"I"
"I don't want to hear it, Joey." I cut you off, and then look over at my so-called 'Best friend'. I shake my head, and stalk off, not knowing, that after one look, and a kiss on the hand by him you followed me.
I stop as I get outside, and take a deep breath of the cold air, feeling the burn in my lungs, savoring it. As I walk slowly to my car, I hear rapid footfalls crunching in the snow behind me, and I know it's you. It's almost funny, such a familiar scene happened years ago, and even now what you do is run to me. I turn to you as you start to speak.
"Please, just…" You stop in front of me, "It just…"
"It just what, Joey? It just happened? Is that what you were going to say? That it 'just happened'? That it doesn't mean a thing? Please, just…." I look you in the eyes, and for the first time I can't hold them. I have to look away. "'Just' what, Joey?"
"Just… I'm sorry. It was him, me, and we just…"
"Wanted to take a stroll down memory lane?" I laugh harshly, and stare into the starless sky. The stark black a perfect example of what I'm feeling inside. Nothing. Just a pit of blackness that seems like it will never end.
Your indrawn breath reverberates through the night, "I think I'm in love with him."
"You think or you know, Jo?" I unknowingly throw words from years ago in your face.
You straighten, and look me in the eye as I glance at you again. "I know."
I bite back the tears that I know want to surface, and nod at you, it's the only thing that I can do. "Goodbye, Joey."
I see you sniff, and I have to try harder to bite back tears as you pull off the promise ring that you wear and hand it to me. I turn and tears flow from your eyes, as you watch me walk away from you, from him, from us. "Goodbye, Dawson."
I hear you whisper as I get in my car. Starting the engine and driving away mechanically, I look at you one last time through the rearview mirror. I see you wipe your face and turn, walking back to the crowded house. Back to him.
Back to your old love.
Back to your 'True Love'.
Back to my best friend.
Back to Pacey.
End
So?
Jayde
