Reya had her hands folded and tucked under her chin as she rocked back and forth wildly, shaking and holding back sobs. She had not cried once since she found out, and knew she couldn't let herself start now. She had to be strong. She had to accept it. It was, after all, her fault. If she hadn't lied... if she had just gone home the day before, she wouldn't be here, sitting in this seat, thinking these thoughts.
Willy Wonka had paid for a cab to take her to the hospital, and she had requested to be alone. She didn't want to talk to him. If she saw one smile, heard one word of comfort, or felt a soothing hand on her shoulder she'd burst and attack him. It was too much for her to handle, and she wondered why her mother wasn't there yet. A nurse walked by, and she jumped up from her seat and hurried up to her.
"Excuse me," she said, shaking. Her face was so pale and sweaty that one might think she had the flu. "I'm looking for my father, Richard Carmen"
"I'm afraid you can't see him for another five minutes," said the nurse.
"Can you at least tell me what's going on?" she asked, tears threatening to fall now. "Is he okay? What's the damage"
"I'm sorry, are you related to him?" asked the nurse.
"I'm his daughter!" she brust, and started crying. "I have to know what's going on"
"Alright," said the nurse, trying to calm her. "Alright, sit down." They sat down, and Reya fidgeted nervously. "Calm down, calm down. Deep breath. In..." Reya sucked in the air, and breathed out when the nurse told her to. "Now, it's not for sure how bad the damage is"
"Oh God," she muttered, shaking and starting to cry.
"Now, now," cooed the nurse. "Easy, easy. It may not be that bad"
"Just tell me the truth, I'm not a child," wept Reya. "Is he going to survive?" The nurse sighed and shook her head.
"We're certain he'll make it through the night, but we don't know about how long he'll hold out in the morning"
"Why"
"So many of his internal organs are damaged. Our guess is that he'll be on life support by midnight or possibly later"
"Oh man," she muttered, shaking even worse. "I'm going to lose my dad? He can't die. Not yet! I haven't moved out yet, he's still gotta walk me down the isle, be there for my first true love... oh man!" She started sobbing, and it wasn't till she practically screamed at the nurse, that she left her alone. A few minutes later she saw her mother walk in.
"Oh, honey!" she exclaimed, hurrying over to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't!" screamed Reya, jumping up. "Don't touch me! Don't talk to me! Leave me alone! Just, everyone, leave me the Hell alone!" She ran off to the bathroom to cry it out. She wasn't angry at her mother. All this at once was too much, and having her greiving mother thrown on top was too much. She needed to be alone to deal with herself. She needed to think things through and get emmotionally ready by herself before she'd be allowed to see him.
After five minutes, she came back, still sobbing, and came into her mother's arms, sobbing with her, and trying to get ready to go into this with her.
-
After what seemed like years, Reya and her mother were finally able to visit her father, who was concious, but barely able to speak. Reya didn't talk to him while her mother was in the room. This was too personal, even if she was her mother. She needed to talk to him alone... for the last time.
Her mother was trying too hard not to cry, and looked worse than Reya, who was sitting in a chair in the corner, watching them. "Where's Alice?" asked Reya after a minute.
"She's at Gramma's," said her mother. "You can talk to him, Rey," she said softly. Reya shook her head. "She probably wants to talk to you alone," said her mother, to her father, as if he didn't notice. She stood up, gave his hand a soft squeeze, and left. Reya watched as she left, and suddenly felt sick again. How was she going to tell him she had lied? That this was all her fault? Her father signalled her to come closer, so she did, pulling up a chair by the bedside.
"Hi, Dad," she said softly, shaking worse than ever. He pointed to the night stand next to the bed, and she looked to see a small white board and black dry- erase marker. "You want that?" she asked, pointing to it. He nodded and signalled her to give it to him. She obeyed, uncapping the marker for him and watched as he wrote something out.
What's black and white and red all over?
Reya made a face, clearly not expecting this. "A newspaperm right?" she asked. He shook his head, erased the board with his wrist and wrote out the answer. "A penguin with a sunburn?" she asked, reading it out loud. "That's kind of dumb," she said, unable to stop the small giggle. He gave a weak grin and began to write something else.
Just wanted to see you smile again.
Tears rolled down her face, and she brushed them away, trying not to sob. He reached up and gently ruffled her hair.
I know about the cutting.
Her eyes widened and she sat back, turning pale. "...How...?" she stuttered.
I saw the blood stains on your bedsheets lastnight.
"Oh man," she muttered. "Dad, I'm so sorry..." He held up a hand, wrote on the board and held it up.
Don't be. If I'd paid more attention to you I would have noticed.
She shook her head and closed her eyes. "It's not your fault," she said softly. "It's all mine. Mom doesn't know, does she?"
No. I'm leaving it to you to tell her. Promise me you will.
Reya brushed away tears and nodded reluctantly. "I promise," she whispered.
Whenever you feel alone or unwanted, know that I'll always be watching over you, no matter what. You're my baby and I'm your number one fan. I'll always be there.
This was too much, and she laid her head down on the bed mattress, sobbing, and he placed his hand on her back, slowly rubbing it. She reached over and grabbed his other hand and closed her eyes, trying to picture herself anywhere but here. "I love you, Dad," she said softly, and that was the last thing she was able to say.
-
Reya had managed to fall asleep in the hospital room, and woke up when she heard the sounds of nurses rushing in, and the loud beeping of the heart monitor as it grew faster and faster. A hand grabbed her shoulder and practically pulled her off the seat and onto her feet.
"Sorry, ma'am, but you need to leave," said the nurse, none too gently.
"What's happening?" asked Reya, becoming nervous. The nurse was pulling her through the doorway, and she was fighting back. "What's happening?" she shouted, but she was pulled out of the room, and the door was shut in front of her, locking her out. Her mother grabbed her from behind, and pulled her away from the window as the shutter was drawn. "Mom, what's going on?" she cried.
"They're putting him on life support," she said, shaking. "They don't know how long they'll be able to keep him alive"
"Oh no!" she cried. "No! He can't do this to me! He can't leave"
"Reya"
"No!" she screamed, and ran off, down the hall, out of the room, and down the fire escape stairs. It was snowing outside, and she ran, feeling the icy chill that made her insides contract, and her body feel an unbearable sharp pain. She kept on running, running away from the hospital, running away from the truth... running away from him.
(A/N: If you haven't noticed already, I have this whole story written already b/c I've definitely had a lot of down time,obviously. The school filter still has the site blocked off so I can only update on saturdays and sometimes on tuesdays. I really hate this! So, R&R. Oh! BIG NEWS! Have any of you heard of the author Terry Trueman? He's coming to my school, and he wants to read some of my stuff! This is so cool! I'll probably suck, but still... WOW!)
