Chapter Nine

Honesty Never Lies

Shizuko and Iori shaded their eyes as they looked up into the sunlight to see a shadowed figure standing over them.

"This is a Kodak moment, but sadly, we have to get moving." Melina grinned. A disposable camera was held in her hand explaining the loud click that had woken them.

"Wha? Mel? You took a picture?"

"Yup, of the two lovebirds. Come on, let's go." Melina extended her hand. Shizuko grabbed it, and then with a sleepy smirk, tugged hard, sending her face first into the ground right next to Shizuko.

"Just how many pictures have you been taking?" Shizuko asked, her eyebrow ticking.

"Um...not a lot?"

"Really?"

"Yes?"

"Why do I not believe you?"

"Because I love embarrassing you?"

"Where do I find these people?" Shizuko puffed exasperated, falling back to the ground.

"Do we have any canteens?" Yukina asked hopefully.

"No, but I wish we did." Iori yawned getting up, too tired to really comprehend what they had been saying.

They all looked up automatically and then squinted.

"You know what? Motoko is really getting to me. I could swear I'm seeing canteens falling." Melina muttered rubbing her eyes. A loud plop hit Melina in the head and she fell back with swirly eyes, as more canteens fell on her.

"Umm, you weren't seeing things, Mel." Yukina said with a large sweatdrop falling down the back of her head.

"NOW YOU TELL ME! When they've already fallen on my head!"

"When have wishes fallen from the sky?" Miyako asked curiously.

"Never...well, until now." Shizuko told her, grabbing one.

"I guess we should take advantage of them." Melina said grabbing another and rubbing her head.

"Koushiro might be...able...to..." Yukina trailed off awkwardly.

"I hope Motoko got to the hospital." Shizuko said walking to the water, uncomfortably.

"You think Koushiro meant what he said?" Yukina whispered, voicing their common thought.

"Yes." Tsubaki said, sadness heavy as gold in her tone.

"I've never seen him so in love. I hope Motoko will tell us what's going on." Miyako whispered, also walking to the oasis.

"I have faith in Miracles. And Miracles will all it take." Melina said suddenly, her eyes brightening.

"What?" Shizuko asked, feeling backward.

"Daisuke. He'll help." Melina said confidently.

"And so will Jyou!" Yukina agreed.

"I think they all will help Koushiro." Miyako said with a decisive nod.

"And Motoko. We may have met her only eight days ago, but she's still our friend and a Digidestined. Digidestined stick together." Iori declared lowly. The girls of Tokyo all smiled at him with eyes full of tears.

"Motoko's our mother and laughter. It feels weird trying to take her place. I couldn't be the selfless person she is." Melina admitted with her left hand fisted over her heart.

"She's always been my protector, since we were children in day-care. I want her to be really happy, not just a mask." Yukina proclaimed with a determined set of her jaw.

"Then let's get going! It's about time Koushiro loosened up and loved more than just his computer!" Miyako announced with her index finger pointing high in the sky.

"YEAH!" the group yelled throwing their index fingers in the air too. They laughed lowering their arms and clasping hands in the midst of their tight knit circle.

V V V

"Now, left. Good, now your right. No, no that's your left! Subaru-san!" exclaimed the nurse in worry.

Motoko clasped the rail on her left quickly, breathing hard and sweaty. Her legs were lax beneath her, and they twitched in weariness as she forced her self on her feet once more.

"Subaru-san, please, stop. You need rest. You've been at it since breakfast. I will also remind you that you ate breakfast at five thirty this morning." The nurse tried to reason.

"Yes, and I won't stop until I can walk normally on my own once again." Motoko gritted tossing her head to flick her wet hair out of her face.

"This is not helping your condition. You need to rest. Don't make me tranquilize you." The nurse warned.

"And put me in a third comatose state, Nurse Aoyama?" Motoko smiled too sweetly. Aoyama gulped and shook her head. "Good, now let me be."

"Motoko?" Motoko's head shot up with hope in her eyes. Her eyes immediately emptied when she saw Taichi. You knew it wasn't him. You feel his presence before you even turn around even when you're in a coma, you ninny. Motoko scolded herself, before setting her right foot firmly before her.

"Hai?" she asked indifferently, concentrating on her left foot.

"What are you doing?"

"Walking. Well, trying to."

"And scaring the sh-crap out of the staff." Taichi snapped, "You're also scaring your grandparents, and me. Stop it. Koushiro would not want you to be-"

"Shut up! Koushiro doesn't care anymore. He didn't even call to see if I made it. Not that I'm surprised. I finally love a guy for keeps, and he's over me first."

"You didn't give him much of a chance." Taichi sighed, rubbing his temples.

He had been here as soon as Koushiro called him saying, in a deadpan voice, that Motoko and relapsed into a second coma after losing consciousness when exerting herself running the other day. Mr. and Mrs. Kaname had called Koushiro thinking he would rush over as usual, but instead he called Taichi to go and comfort them, saying he no longer was a part of her life. Motoko luckily woke up at about midnight after falling into real sleep at around nine 'o' clock that same night. After she woke up however rested, she found she couldn't work her legs properly, and a nurse had to help her use the bedpan, thankfully, she retained her ability to speak. Taichi had called Koushiro, and sure enough the young genius had been unable to sleep at all, and was awake for the call. None-the-less, he still refused to visit or speak to her. To be exact, he refused to even say her name. Taichi then and there decided to watch over Motoko for his one of his best friends, knowing Koushiro needed it, even if he refused to acknowledge it.

"I know I'm a liar. I'm a selfish bitch and a boy-crazy whore. I know, but I can't change it, sorry." Motoko recited as if those words had been engrained in her mind. Taichi felt as if he'd bit punched really hard in the stomach and all the air left his lungs.

"Subaru-san, you shouldn't be-" the nurse started, Taichi cut her off with a curt slice of his hand.

"Motoko, whoever told you that had a messed up head. So you're boy-crazy, I haven't seen you falling in love with me since Koushiro dumped you, or Yamato or Daisuke, and we're all pretty damn good-looking if all those girls weren't lying to us all our lives." Taichi pointed out.

"And you're all pretty much attached, to my friends. Even Yamato, Sora's pretty nice." Motoko pointed out right back.

"Yeah, but you still haven't fallen for any other guy since Koushiro, if I'm not mistaken, you're still in love with him."

"And I'm only fifteen! He's in college, damn it! Ack!" she let out a small cry as her left foot turned to its side, tripping her. Her chin hit the floor with a thud, and her tongue was bit, and blood slipped past her bottom lip sluggishly. She groaned as Taichi rushed to her side.

"Subaru-san!"

"Motoko!" Taichi cried out. He pushed aside the nurse and grabbed her under her arms.

"Let me be!" Motoko screamed, blood spotting the floor.

"Motoko, stop it, you're just hurting yourself."

"I've been dying for years. Pain doesn't hurt anymore." Motoko whispered pushing herself up onto her palms. She grabbed the pool and then leaned her head against the cool metal. She turned her head slowly to meet Taichi's startled gold-brown eyes. "Are you surprised?" Motoko asked, her voice chirpy. But her eyes were dead, empty with a slowly torturing pain. Taichi felt as if he were drowning, he couldn't breathe; those eyes tore slits in his flesh.

"Motoko?" He whispered, touching her cheek.

"Can you feel it? The pain? The blades?" Motoko asked desperately. At Taichi's nod, she continued, neither noticed the nurse leave discreetly. "Everybody falls for the mask. I think Iori was the only one to get a glimpse through the eyeholes. And that's the only pain I feel. Seeing my friends fall for the mask. Help me, please. I need..." she trailed off, tears falling, their gazes still locked. Taichi grabbed her shoulders and pressed her hard against his chest. She grabbed his shirt at his sleeves, sobbing hysterically. "I need the oblivion Koushiro gave me, can you help me? Please?" she begged.

Knowing exactly want she meant, he knew he couldn't deny this young woman anything, not after feeling the blades that sliced her heart for who knows how long. The fact that doing so would not really help her or him, the fact that he was betraying both his best friend and the love of his life didn't seem to enter his thoughts. He just knew he had to lessen the pain nobody else could feel but them.

Their lips met in desperate longing, to erase, to create, who knows. Only the oblivion did they strive for. They were only both a giver and a receiver. A giver of pain, a receiver of the message of pleading. A giver of oblivion and a receiver of that sought after freedom. Heat so hot it was cold but comforting laced over skin and inside their bodies. Lightning seared lips and mouths as tongues met and looked for the warmth of the cold fire. Tears melded onto Taichi's tanned skin, and he clasped her tighter. They heard a slight sound and parted turned quickly and guiltily. In a few seconds, the comfort they were so close in achieving came crashing down around them like thin glass.

"Taichi...how...could...Motoko..." Koushiro stumbled for words and stared with unseeing black eyes. "I...I came to say...I..." Koushiro's whole body shut down it seemed. His eyes blanked, his body lax, and his mouth closed slowly. He turned and fled, his feet echoing down the hall.

"Koushiro..." Motoko choked out, her hand rising towards the door.

"Oh my god." Taichi mumbled, his own eyes wide.

"Kou...I'm so sorry, Taichi...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...gomen nasai...gomen...gomen." She repeated over and over, shaking her head as if it would turn back time.

"Motoko...shh...shh...it'll be okay." Taichi whispered, immediately taking her in his arms once again, only this time to stop her tremors.

"No...no it won't. I hurt Koushiro, I used you...and I betrayed Tsubaki. Oh my god. This is what I get for being selfish again. I want to never wake up again." Motoko sobbed, her head shaking back and forth, and her shoulders heaving.

"You're right on some counts. But you needed someone...I was there. I should've been Koushiro, but I wasn't. We can't change that. But we can be honest to Tsubaki before she gets hurt. And we can try to explain it to Koushiro." Taichi trailed off doubtfully on the last bit.

"You know what he came to say don't you? Don't you?" Motoko laughed, hot tears falling faster. She laughed until her laughter became silent, unable to laugh anymore, and unable to stop.

By the time her head hit the pillow, even her tears refused to fall. Taichi fell to his knees at the edge of the bed, his head resting on his arms. What have I done? I just needed to help...damn it Izumi! Why couldn't you have been there for the girl who's so obviously in love with you? Why did you come so damn late?

V V V

BEEP!

"YEAH! The others! We can start our get back together plan!" Miyako cried happily. She turned on her screen to see Takeru, Sora, Kari, Daisuke, Ken, Jyou, Yamato...and Koushiro at the screen.

"We're all on Koushiro's Pineapple again." Sora explained quickly.

"Oh, that seriously dents the plan." Shizuko muttered sarcastically.

"What's wrong, Koushiro?" Iori asked suddenly, studying his older friend. The redhead said nothing.

"Where's Motoko? I thought she'd be there with you guys." Shizuko asked, temporarily forgetting what had taken place the yesterday. They all flinched and looked at Koushiro, he stared at something none could see.

"She feel into a coma again after fainting in front of a bus stop yesterday."

"WHAT!"

"Don't worry. At nine 'o' clock she fell into a normal sleep and woke up at midnight and never fell asleep again. I heard that she still can speak, but she's having a really hard time trying to walk on her own. Last I heard, about an hour ago, she was in a regular sleep. She wore herself out trying to walk." Sora continued to explain quickly.

"She wasn't only walking." Koushiro muttered darkly. They looked at him, but it was as if he hadn't even spoken.

"He did just speak, right?" Melina whispered to Yukina. Yukina nodded.

"Where's Taichi?" Tsubaki asked, her eyes finally resting on Sora after examining the screen for the familiar face. Koushiro flinched as if shot.

"He's probably still with Motoko. Making sure she's alright." He snapped, his eyes blazing.

"What's your deal? At least someone's there for her! You should be the one caring for her!" Shizuko yelled.

"Taichi's doing a wonderful job. Don't tell me he hasn't emailed you yet, Tsubaki-san?" he asked his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Koushiro? What's wrong?" Kari asked.

"Nothing really. Just when I went to apologize, Motoko was heavily engaged in tonsil hockey!" Koushiro yelled.

"NANI?" all the other yelped at once.

"Koushiro! Damn it! If you were going to tell them at least find out the truth first!" shouted Taichi running up and stopping, gasping for air, his hands on his knees. "Damn you. Why couldn't you have been there? You and your damnable I-have-no-emotion mask!"

"Up yours, Yagami!" Koushiro shouted back, his face red, his whole body trembling.

"Whoa, Koushiro, Taichi, what's going on?" Yamato asked confused.

"This two-timing pervert was the one Motoko was kissing!" Koushiro snapped. Gasps echoed through the computer.

"Taichi?" Tsubaki whispered.

"Don't you dare turn this on me, Izumi. If you had been the one there... to see those haunted eyes. I...I had to help...damn it, I felt her pain. She was crying in my arms, she couldn't walk, you refused to speak to her...and she was bleeding on the inside, she needed my help." Taichi tried to explain, running fingers through his wild hair.

"Right and I'm supposed to believe that?" Koushiro asked pissed.

"Hai." Taichi said sadly, his eyes downcast. "She was begging for you, but knew you wouldn't come. I did the only thing I could think of doing to help."

"KISSING PEOPLE DOESN'T MAKE THEM WALK AGAIN!" Koushiro roared.

"That's not what I meant!" Taichi yelled back.

"Did you feel blades?" Yukina asked suddenly. They all stopped and looked at her. Her brown eyes were wide as if realizing something from long ago.

"What? Yes, I did. It felt like they were cutting into my skin, my very being-"

"Your soul?" Yukina interrupted, her eyes now meeting his. "Did she ask for oblivion?"

"Yes, she did."

"She must still be hurting. She's been searching for oblivion since she was a little girl." Yukina said, tears forming in her eyes.

"She was searching with me. She had found oblivion." Taichi said quietly, he looked at Koushiro. Koushiro however was staring at Yukina, his body frozen.

"What do you mean oblivion?" Sora asked quietly, with a glance at Koushiro.

"When she was eleven...she tried to kill herself. I went to hospital. She was staring at the ceiling, tears running down her face. I could tell she had been crying for a long time. When I sat down next to her, she turned and...her eyes..."

"You felt the blades then?" Taichi murmured.

"Yes. I asked her why, why did she try to kill herself? Her arms were covering in bandages, hiding the deep slashes that she'd made with a hunting knife of her father's."

"A hunting knife?" Mimi gasped. Everybody, even the other Tokyo girls, was staring at Yukina. Yukina nodded.

"She looked at me and smiled. She said, 'I've been searching for an end for a long time. I heard about desperate people, teens, kids, just like me, using a blade to find what I've been searching for. So I tried it. I guess I tried too hard. As soon as I made the first cut, I went over the edge, the pain made me happy, I thought I finally found it. But I didn't...it was just outside my grasp. I knew I had to kill myself to find it wholly. But I don't want to die, Yuki. Yuki, I don't want to die.' And then she burst into tears again." Yukina choked and tears were falling unheeded down her cheeks. "I asked her, 'what are you looking for then? If you don't want to die, then why did you do this? What is it that made you do this just to try and find it?' She started laughing, and she couldn't stop it seemed and she finally stopped, and looked at me again with those empty eyes...

"'Oblivion, Yukina, oblivion, the myth that holds me in my dreams after the pain stops.' After that, she wouldn't say a word. After two months with a psychiatrist, she stopped going. The psychiatrist told her grandparents she the most normal young woman she'd ever seen, and said Motoko was probably just vying for attention. I knew Motoko wasn't though. But she never mentioned oblivion again. And she never cut herself again. She went boy-crazy in eighth grade and remained such a giddy person, I just figured she'd given up or realized she didn't need oblivion. I guess I was wrong."

"Yukina, please stop crying." Jyou pleaded. Yukina looked up at him.

"But I should've tried harder! I shouldn't have just thought she was all better, I knew she wasn't!" Yukina cried.

"Taichi, tell us exactly what happened this morning." Tsubaki said suddenly, her red eyes meeting Taichi's brown ones.

"Okay." He nodded. He proceeded to tell them what had happened. The only thing he left out however, was what he felt when he kissed her. He didn't really think that would help matters. And it was between him and Motoko, that certain part.

"Excuse me." Koushiro said turned and walking away after Taichi finished.

"Izumi!" Taichi yelled. Koushiro turned and walked back up to Taichi.

"Don't worry, I'm going back right now to find out what happened between her and Touji, I believe you and Yukina." He grinned and then, before anybody could blink, Taichi landed on the ground with a thud, Koushiro's fist making direct contact with his face. He walked over and stood over Taichi with black eyes flaming. "But if you ever go near Motoko again, I'll kill you. Sayonara." He turned and then walked towards the exit quickly.

"Wow. Koushiro can get pretty damn violent can't he?" Daisuke whistled. Taichi just nodded.

"Taichi?" He turned to meet Tsubaki's gaze. "When I meet you in the human world, I'll probably smack you too. But I'll forgive you. I know you were telling the truth. I love Motoko, but she's going to get smacked too." Tsubaki smiled, and then giggled at Taichi's amazed expression.

"You go girl!" Melina cried, jumping on Tsubaki from behind. "You better fight for your man."

"I'm just glad she had Taichi instead of say Yamato or Takeru. I don't think me or Sora could've understood as much as you." Kari admitted laughing. Sora agreed joining in with Kari's laughter.

V V V

"Kaname-sama, where is Motoko?" Koushiro asked walking into the small private room. Souta looked up from his magazine.

"She's in the bathroom with Sae. She woke up complaining of needing a bath. I thought you and Motoko had a fight. She had fallen asleep crying this morning and you never came to visit her either."

"We did...now I've come to rectify our quarrel."

"What your what?"

"He's come to put an end to our fight. But he doesn't' need to. I was stupid, and I hurt you, you don't have to come and make sure I'm okay. I'm fine." Motoko said, leaning on Sae's arm as they left the bathroom, Motoko thankfully was wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top and not the backless gown.

"You just can't walk, you're filled with guilt about hurting both me and Tsubaki, and using Taichi, and you're calling yourself names that you don't need to be calling yourself. Of course you're fine." Koushiro said, walking over to where Motoko stood, dumbstruck at Koushirou's words. "Excuse, Mr. and Mrs. Kaname, but Motoko and I need to speak alone for a couple minutes."

"What a brilliant idea." Sae said easily, letting Koushiro take her place. "Come on, Souta, dear, we need to pay some bills anyway. We'll be back in thirty minutes at the latest. Call us if anything comes up. I'm trusting you, young man."

"Hai, ma'am." Koushiro nodded since he couldn't bow. Souta stood up, slightly bewildered.

"But she just woke up. She promised me a game of poker when she woke up. I lost fifty dollars and a Rolex to that vixen, and I want it all back." Souta pouted.

"Honey, that was her allowance, you can't win back your granddaughter's allowance, that's wrong."

"She got that allowance gambling! I have every right to gamble it back!" Souta cried outraged. Sae tutted and pulled him out the door with a cheery wave behind her.

"We need to have a talk you and I." She said closing the door behind her.

"You gamble for allowance?" Koushiro asked, setting Motoko on the edge of the bed.

"Well, yes. We play chess or sports or some type of game with bets. Whoever wins gets the allowance. Usually I win, but if I don't, I don't get allowance for another month. But that's not the point, why are you here?" Motoko asked, baffled.

"Yukina told about the incident when you were eleven, and Taichi told me exactly what had happened. They both spoke about oblivion, and blades. Would you mind explaining for me?" Koushiro told her, twisting a lock of wet mahogany hair. She stared at him.

"She told you about...the..."

"Hunting knife, yes. I want to know everything Motoko. Everyone says what an honest person you are, but ever since I met you, all I've seen are lies." Koushiro's black eyes looked straight into her green ones. "Stop lying to me, Motoko." She held his gaze for a minute, opening her mouth, before closing it and looking away.

"I can't..."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it hurts to remember."

"You've been stuck remembering for three days, I have a feeling you remember almost every time you fall asleep. Saying what's wrong out loud may help a lot more. I have a feeling you put on a great act when you were with your psychiatrist." Koushiro pointed out. Motoko grimaced.

"She was such a fake. She didn't even try. As soon as I walked in I saw in her eyes, 'another rich, spoiled girl looking for attention.' I didn't want to let her hopes down and therefore showing to her face was a biased fake she was." Motoko spat with anger. "When I realized I could create a mask so perfect that a professional couldn't see through it, I felt powerful and lonely all at the same time. For four years now, I've had on that mask, being the normal boy-crazy girl, hoping that someone would come along and see through me, only one person, or should I say, thing, did. Circusmon was the only one to see my torment. That's when I realized Touji was a lying sack of crap."

Koushiro's eyes widened. Why was Piedmon after Motoko?

V V V

"We should get going. We need two more crests besides Touji's, so we have to hurry if we want to finish by Saturday in time for the play." Iori said after a discussion on the crests, and how to release the digimon.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Takeru agreed, standing up and stretching.

"Touji's stopped talking to me, so you guys are going to have to be careful." Yamato warned.

"Don't worry, we only have two crests to go. We have five crests already. It shouldn't be too long until we can come home." Melina said flapping her hand.

"Yeah, but don't let your guard down. Yamato's right, be careful." Jyou said, the old worrywart side of him coming through.

The Digidestined exchanged their goodbyes and then shut off their computers, or D3's. Melina felt a fist squeeze her heart as she closed the top of her D3. Why is it that every time I say good-bye to Daisuke, it's like the last time I'll ever see him? I don't get it.

They walked through the blistering heat of the desert, the oasis far behind them. When they spoke to the others they had managed to find an abandoned village. Now it was long gone, too, and nothing was obscuring the horizon of the desert in front of them.

Shizuko looked over at Iori, whose shirt was once again adorning Tsubaki's head. He had stopped Tsubaki to force her to drink more water.

"Tsubaki, drink it, or I'll pour out all of mine right now." He ordered.

"I don't need to." Tsubaki argued half-heartedly.

"Of course you don't." Iori said wryly as Tsubaki coughed hoarsely. Tsubaki's shoulders fell and she grabbed her canteen and took a small sip. At Iori's look, she grudgingly took a bigger gulp. "Okay, let's get going."

"I'm going to run out of water before we reach the end." Tsubaki pointed out, grabbing his hand.

"Then I guess we'll have to share." He answered simply. He met Shizuko's gaze and smiled. "I'm just doing my job as a big brother." Tsubaki's smiled up at him.

They ran slowly to catch up to Shizuko before slowing back to a trudging walk.

"Do mine eyes deceive me, or has Iori gotten even hotter?" Melina asked, one eyebrow rising.

"It could be the fact that we're in a desert that's making you think I'm 'hotter'." Iori retorted.

"Or it could be the fact that a tan really becomes you, Iori. Thank goodness you didn't burn." Miyako said with an approving whistle. Iori blushed as the girls laughed laugh softly, so not to strain their parched throats. Yukina looked ahead of them and blinked. She rubbed her eyes and looked again.

"Melina, slap me." Yukina ordered.

"Nani?" Melina asked confused.

"Do it!" Yukina ordered again, rasping. Melina shrugged and smacked her hard across the cheek. Yukina then looked in front of her again. "YES! THE END LOOK!" Yukina out, running with all her strength, Finmon opening her eyes to see distant green. Her tail flapped once tiredly, unable to speak, the desert affecting her more than even Tsubaki.

"YES!" the digidestined cried out, tearing after her. Tsubaki stumbled and coughed. Iori was tugged back, still holding her hand.

"I can't run, onii-san." Tsubaki coughed. Iori bit his lip.

"Baublemon, think you can fly the rest of the way there?"

"Hai! Why?" Iori pulled Tsubaki up and then let go of her hand.

"Start flying." He said letting Baublemon go. He swooped Tsubaki into his arms bridal style. "Shall we?" he asked, grinning at her wide eyes.

But, I'm heavy."

"No, you're not." Iori disagreed, starting to jog towards the rolling hills. Tsubaki, held him around the neck and, unable to fight it, fell asleep.

"Aw, how cute! I never would've guessed you were so strong." Melina said, flopping onto the grass.

"I knew he was. When I almost fell off the side of the mountain, remember? I'm no Tinkerbell, and I'm taller than him, but he still was able to drag me back." Shizuko reminded Melina.

"Oh, I forgot about that." Iori set Tsubaki gently down on the ground, in the shadow of clouds.

"This is so weird. There were no clouds in the desert, yet there're clouds here. And there's wind too." Miyako rose to face to the cool breeze.

"Well, the digital world is weird." Melina said as if that settled matters. Finmon laughed happily as Yukina found a small pond and threw Finmon in.

V V V

"I wish I could tell you, but it's hard. Whenever I try to tell someone, my throat closes and nothing comes out." Motoko said sadly.

"Motoko, whatever you're not telling us, may help us. Touji's partner, Circusmon, is the in-training form of an evil digimon Taichi, Sora, Yamato, Takeru, Jyou, Mimi, Hikari, and I fought eight years ago. We need to know what's he's up to. You may have a key." Koushiro told her, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye. Motoko looked at him amazed.

"Circusmon, evil? But he always...comforted...he was just acting wasn't he? IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT! I knew it! Touji never even liked me! Circusmon did it to me! Circusmon made all my nightmares come back! Made Touji do those horrible things to me! I'LL KILL HIM!" Motoko yelled jumping up. Her legs gave way, and she fell towards the floor. Koushiro caught her just in time with a loud 'oof'. Suddenly, they began to fuzz out; Motoko stared at Koushiro and him at her.

"We're going to-" Motoko started, before they disappeared.

V V V

"Hey, what's that? It's looks that the grass was mowed here." Miyako said curiously.

"And here! Look!" Yukina said, pointing. Iori looked at he mowed grass with narrowed eyes.

"Miyako, make Poromon digivolve."

"Is there an enemy?" Miyako asked, looking around.

"Iie. I just need to look at the ground from above to see if my hunch is correct." Iori replied with a shake of his head.

"I'm on it, Iori!" Poromon said. Poromon quickly digivolved to Aquillamon. He flew into the sky, Iori and Miyako on his back.

"Whoa! Look at that!" Miyako cried out. "Is that was you were checking out?" Miyako asked, her arms around Iori's waist. Iori nodded.

"It's a crest." Iori said, as he and Miyako landed back on the ground, Aquillamon de-digivolving to Poromon.

"It must be either mine or Motoko's." Shizuko said her head tilted.

"Or Touji's." Yukina said quietly. Tsubaki stirred and opened her eyes, facing the sky. She blinked.

"Onii-san." Tsubaki called out quietly. Iori looked at her and then up. He gaped.

Motoko and Koushiro were still looking at each other when they reappeared.

"-the digital world." Motoko finished. They looked down and realized they were falling.

"AHHH!" they screamed. Motoko stopped at the same time Koushiro did.

"Hey, look, it's a crest in the ground." Motoko said tilting her head.

Suddenly the ground got too close. She let out an eek and hid her face in the curve of Koushiro's neck and shoulder. He held he around the shoulders and closed his eyes, managing to turn his body so he could get full force of the landing. He blinked when their bodies stopped moving, but he didn't feel the ground. Motoko peeked out the side of her eye and gasped.

"We're floating!" she yelped. About a foot off the ground, a purplish-blue light was cradling them.

"I noticed." Koushiro blinked. What in the world is that light?

"Motoko!" cried four girls' voices. She looked up to see her friends from Tokyo running towards her.

"SHIZU, MEL, YUKI, BAKI!" she cried happily. On instinct she moved to get up and fell the rest of the way down, leaving a confused Koushiro hovering above her. She blinked and growled. "Damn light."

"Um, Koushiro, you might want to get off anytime now." Koushiro looked up to meet Iori's gaze.

"Konnichiwa..." Koushiro said, absentmindedly. Everybody laughed at his stupefied expression, before he moved to stand and fell right on top of Motoko.

"OW! DAMN YOU, IZUMI!" Motoko yelled her voice slightly muffled.

"Gomen, Motoko." Koushiro said standing up immediately. Motoko flopped onto her back.

"Where'd the light go?" she asked.

"It disappeared when Koushiro fell." Miyako said. Koushiro frowned.

"I wanted to get a decent analysis on it." Koushiro complained.

"Why aren't you getting up?" Melina asked, looking down at Motoko, still on the ground.

"Because I can't, duh?" Motoko snapped.

"Oh, right, you can't walk very well." Melina remembered.

"Okay, now that you know...CAN YOU HELP ME UP?" Motoko yelled. Melina jumped with an 'eep'.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Motoko, I was so caught up in thinking about that light, I forgot." Koushiro apologized quickly, leaning down to grab her hand and pulled her up, letting her fall against him.

"Doomo." Motoko sighed. Looking up at him with a smile. Their eyes met and they quickly looked away.

"Are you guys okay?" Yukina asked tentatively.

"What do you mean?" Motoko said with her hand, the one not holding Koushiro's, behind her head.

"Like are you guys back together?" Melina asked bluntly, fists on her hips.

"Uh...um..." Motoko trailed off, her eyes lowered.

"We were just discussing that when we began to fuzz out. Well, Motoko?"

"Nani?" Motoko asked with a twitchy smile.

"Either you trust me, or we'll never be able to be a couple." Koushiro replied, his eyes dead serious. Her shoulders slumped.

"You want me to tell you about Touji." She sighed. "Fine, but first let me sit down."

Koushiro lowered her carefully down. She managed to get to feet stretched out before her by herself.

"Okay, it might take awhile, if I'm going to tell you guys about Touji, I might as well be honest about everything." She took a deep breath,

"My mother left my father and I when I was four years old for a man she fell in love with, who wasn't my father, obviously. I was alone with my father ever since. He abused me and blamed me for my mother's leaving and called me horrible names. Whore, tramp, saying I'd never feel or give love because love didn't exist. Love was a lie, and my mother was the queen of liars. I tried my best to make my father realize it wasn't true, I did love him, when he died of alcohol poisoning when I was nine.

"I moved in with my grandparents. For two years I was plagued with nightmares of my father, and I tried to make them go away. Don't worry, he never raped me or anything. It was just the guilt. Every night I was afraid to go to sleep, and I would eventually, crying into my pillow. I tried everything I could think of for two years to find an end, to find oblivion. When cutting myself didn't work, I realized that oblivion, what I was searching for, in a twisted way, was my way of saying love." Motoko took a breath.

"After that I tried finding oblivion with boys. Everyday I would 'fall in love' and go out with a boy, when I could find it, I'd find an excuse to dump him. Everybody started calling me boy-crazy, and tramp and other names, but I didn't care, I needed to find my oblivion, I needed to find what I father said was a lie. In other words, I was replacing teenage boys with my father, trying to love them.

"I met Touji in the digital world when we were thirteen. I thought I finally found him, but he loved Shizuko. I once again put on my mask and just flirted, never showing how much I was hurting. Then, after we left, he came to my house, Circusmon with him, and told he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked. I was too blind to my happiness at find 'love' at last; I didn't realize anything was wrong.

"About the second month, I told him about the nightmares. Then, he started getting abusive. Calling the names my father always did. Circusmon would comfort me and tell me everything would be all right. I love my computer, and Circusmon knew that, he told me that doing something difficult on it might calm me down. I started creating this weird program, doing what he told me to do. I was so intrigued I couldn't stop after that. It was almost addictive. Every time Touji hit me or had a fight with me, I'd go to the computer and work on program after program. I didn't even know what I was doing, I still don't know what I did, I just know it helped.

"Until one night, Touji called and told me to come over. His parents, as usual were gone. I noticed Circusmon was angry about something, but before I could ask what was wrong, Touji grabbed me around my throat...and..." Motoko closed her eyes, and inhaled sharply, "He raped me." She whispered. The girls gasped, Iori gripped his pants tightly as Koushiro tensed, his own grip tightening around Motoko's shoulders. Pawmon crawled forward. Motoko looked up and met his gold eyes and grabbed him, burying her face in his mane.

"I hid Pawmon every time Touji came over, even before Touji raped me and started hitting me. I didn't want Pawmon to know. But one night, about two weeks after...the night Touji called me, Pawmon noticed bruises on my ribs and wrists and the shadows under my eyes. He asked why I wasn't sleeping, and what had happened. I told him about a monster who hurt me, and refused to let me sleep, but I wouldn't tell him who. He tried to get the name so many times, but I refused to tell him." Pawmon nodded, tears slipping from his closed eyes.

"The first time it happened it was near the third month, and for another three months...I'd go over to his house, I don't even know why, and let him do it, even though I begged him to stop. Suddenly, on the six months, something broke, like a string was connecting me to Touji, a string I couldn't break but finally did, and I realized what he was doing to me. I fought back one night, tooth and nail. I ran out of his house, I swear I heard laughter, but it wasn't Touji. It was echoing in my head, and then, it was gone, and I felt free, and I felt so stupid. I wasn't me when I was there or anywhere near him. I had no idea why I had been with him so long when I promised myself when my father died that no other man would hurt me like my father had." Motoko finished, her eyes clamped tightly closed.

"But after Touji...you still..." Melina trailed off.

"Boy-crazy." Motoko laughed hollowly. "He cornered me in the school hallway. I was going to fight him, but he pressed a knife to my side. I felt it cut through my clothes. He told me if I told anyone, if I acted different, he would kill me. Plus...I didn't want to stop...stop looked for oblivion, it was a quest I refused to give up." Motoko smiled into Pawmon mane. "I would dream of a boy who would see through me and save me from the nightmares that continued to haunt me and got worse after Touji."

"Motoko..." Shizuko whispered. Motoko looked up.

"I tried to warn you, but...I was afraid of dying. I almost died once, I didn't want to again. Anyway, Touji did love you." Shizuko glanced away, disgusting at the thought of him and at herself. Melina, Yukina, and Tsubaki all had the same expressions on their faces. Disgusted and angry at themselves for not seeing through the façade that their friend, who had done so much for them, had shielded herself with.

Pawmon made a protesting sound as hands grabbed him. Motoko looked up, confused. Koushiro set Pawmon down, and then looked down at her. Her eyes widened in fear. Does he hate me? Is he disgusted with me? I was raped and used like a pawn, and I didn't even stop it...her thoughts trailed off in despair as he continued to look down at her. Abruptly, he grabbed her, and held her tight, his face in her hair.

"Don't you ever keep anything from me. Don't ever wear your mask again. And don't ever not kick a guy where it hurts if he even looks at you the wrong way, whoever the hell he is." Koushiro ordered his eyes closed tight against tears. Motoko blinked, and then wrapped her arms around his waist, bursting into sobs, her face pressed against his chest.

"Okay, promise." Motoko choked out. The others looked away uncomfortable.

"What a touching moment." They all looked up to see Trapezemon once again floating upside down and Touji standing on his feet. "I think we should break up this moment, what about you, Trapezemon?" Touji sneered. Pawmon growled, jumping in front of Motoko.

"Yes, I do believe we shall." Trapezemon cackled. "Trapezemon digivolve to...

"Ringmastemon! High Wire Act!" The digivolved Trapezemon slapped his hands together and then spread them apart, a wire forming between his palms. The wire flung out of his hands and wrapped around Motoko, dragging her away from Koushiro and up into the air.

"YOU DAMN DIGIMON! PUT ME DOWN!" she screamed, pissed, as Ringmastemon spun around and around as Touji jumped to the ground.

"No can do, sweetie!" he then flipped right side up leaving Motoko upside down as the wire straightened as if it were a pole.

"I hate you." Motoko muttered, her knees touching and one leg a little to the side the other bent back like she was kneeling.

"It looks like I've finally gotten a prize." Touji mocked.

"PAWMON DIGIVOLVE!" Motoko yelled. Pawmon quickly digivolved to Cubmon then to Leomon and thundered towards Touji with a roar.

"We all need to digivolve!" Miyako yelled as Touji dodged Leomon's fist.

Koushiro stood off to the side, his eyes livid. Where the hell is Tentomon when you need him?

"Eh?" What's that noise?" Motoko pondered out loud. Suddenly a big red bug zoomed into her face.

"Need of assistance ma'am?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Motoko screamed.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I don't think so buggy!" Ringmastemon yelled, holding up his hand.

"Too late!" Tentomon chirped, cutting the wire with his claw.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Motoko screamed again. "YOU DAMN BUG, CATCH ME!"

"Oh, dear me..." Tentomon flew down and grabbed her by the bottom of her shorts. "You're heavy!"

"Great, first you almost kill me, and then you call me fat. I definitely love you!" Motoko snapped. Tentomon gently set her down on the ground as Koushiro came running up.

"Tentomon!" Koushiro cried happily.

"Izzy!" Tentomon cried back, flying into Koushiro's open arms.

"That's your partner?" Motoko gaped.

"Affirmative."

"Ugh!" Motoko fell back with a groan.

"Megaphone Bazooka!" Ringmastemon yelled. It hit the ground right next to Motoko sending her flying. She landed with a thud and a loud 'ow'.

"Why does everybody want to kill me?" Motoko yelled.

"Motoko!" Koushiro yelled, running towards her with Tentomon at his shoulder. Another well-aimed bullet sent Koushiro flying into the ground.

"Koushiro!"

"Izzy!" Tentomon and Motoko shouted at the same time. She tried to stand, just to fall back down as WereChamelemon went thudding into the ground.

"High Wire Act!" Ringmastemon laughed, his wire grabbing Norwhamon and slamming her into Forgemon. Touji himself was having a hard time with Leomon, while Feathemon and Windommon were attacking Ringmastemon.

"I've got to get to Koushiro." Motoko muttered, vainly raising herself onto her palms. "I've got to...I've got to tell him I'm sorry, and I'll never lie to him again. I hate lying. I'm an honest person...it's about time I started acting like one." Suddenly the ground began to glow below her and she realized she had landed on the crest on the grass. "Huh?" She mumbled.

She slowly started to float off the ground, her whole body glowing in the light. As she was set back on her feet, the light began to grow smaller on her body until it formed a necklace with a glowing crest on a tag.

"Hurry! Make Leomon digivolve!" Iori yelled as Windommon went crashing into the ground followed by Feathemon.

"Right! Leomon, digivolve!" Motoko yelled, her crest glowing.

"Leomon digivolve to...

"Pumamon! The Feline of Honesty!" announced a cat-like digimon taking Leomon's place. His fur was a red-gold, wings on the back of each paw. His tail was long and striped, like a raccoon's, only not fluffy. He lowered himself near the ground, his long tail twitching.

"Go PUMAMON! Show that monster what for!" Motoko cheered, hopping up and down.

"Feline Ambush!" Pumamon cried out, jumping upon Ringmastemon, and knocking him to the ground. He began biting and scratching, his yowls of anger flooding the air.

"High Wire Act!" Ringmastemon managed to shout.

"Scything Paw!" Pumamon yelled, swiping his claws at the wire after jumping backward. He growled and slunk to the ground once more, his eyes flashing. His muscles tensed. "Feline Ambush!"

"Megaphone Bazooka!" in the explosion, everyone covered their eyes and opened them to see, Pumamon holding Ringmastemon by the throat, his teeth sinking deep.

"Make him stop or I'll kill her!" Touji called out suddenly. He had Tsubaki back the back of her hair, a pocketknife to her neck.

"Pumamon, stop." Motoko ordered quickly. Pumamon backed off, a growled in rumbling in his chest. Ringmastemon walked towards Touji as Touji walked towards him. As Ringmastemon neared Touji, he de-digivolved to Circusmon, and Touji threw Tsubaki to ground, grabbed Circusmon as he jumped onto Touji's arms, a fractal code surrounded them and then disappeared.

Motoko stood breathing heavily. Sweat poured down her face and her face was flushed. Tsubaki walked up to her.

SMACK!

"Don't you ever kiss Taichi again." Tsubaki whispered.

"Right-o." Motoko grinned and saluted her with two fingers. "Glad to see you showing off...your...eyes?" She fainted and landed with a loud thud.

V V V

Kitty: By the way, I wrote 'Koushiro', Koushirou' in a couple chapters, and now it's back to 'Koushiro'. Makes it easier for me and... I dunno... >tilts head to side I think it looks better. 'Koushirou' looks a little messy. >shrug Whatever, maybe my next story his name will be spelled right. BEBO! One more chapter to go... I cheated by teh way. I did teh last chapter before I finshed Raging Brutality. Tee hee.