Sleep? How could Danny even consider thinking about sleep? The irony of resting deep under the ground, buried alive, was sickening. It was a joke – a cruel, twisted joke – that he should be slowly bleeding his life away and now wanting to sleep and allow the darkness to eat him alive. It felt to him that if he slept then the tunnel would win, it would have him, which probably wasn't far from the truth.
Yet, all the same, he felt tired enough to sleep even here and now, no matter how afraid it made him. His head swam and throbbed in time with his heart, and his body shook as though on the verge of collapsing. He felt cold all over, and his arms hurt so bad a part of him wished they would just fall off, which wasn't helping him in his fight against his own panic. He knew he was in a bad way, but he wasn't going to give in and… do what? Freak out? Go insane? Wasn't that why he was dripping blood now, because he had panicked?
Danny shook his head. He felt so angry with himself that he was actually glad he was in pain. It served him right. It was stupid, his fear. He dealt with death practically every day. He had seen the many possible ways a person can be killed – horrible, grotesque ways – and he had yet to look away from any of them. He had been in fights that had nearly killed him, he'd been shot at on more than one occasion, and he had yet to even consider turning his back on it all.
Now, sitting and bleeding in this tunnel, cowering against the wall like a kicked dog, he felt like a failure. So much for the tough, fearless Danny who never put up with anything. So much for never flinching.
Dave was pacing again, taking longer, wider strides. The noise seemed to burrow into Danny's brain, racing down his spine to rend at every nerve. He wanted Dave to stop, to let the silence just happen so that Danny did not have to be aware of anything, but he did not have the energy to speak out.
Light suddenly blinded him and he jerked his head to one side angrily.
Dr. Hawkes tilted his helmet back so that the light stopped hitting Danny in the eyes.
" Sorry," he said sheepishly. Danny just shook his head, though irritation still raged inside him.
Dr. Hawkes looked the crude, blood-soaked bandages over. Danny turned his head back to watch him, and did not like the worry that was overly apparent on the coroner's face. Hawkes felt the bandages, and his fingers came away wet with blood. He wiped the blood off on the sleeve of his coverall, then shifted his position to sit beside Danny where he felt Danny's pulse in the side of his neck.
" That bad doc?" Danny said, fear overriding his agitation.
" Well, it can't be that bad if you're still alert. Your pulse has slowed, but not in any bad way. The last time I checked it, it was racing. You've clamed down now."
Danny shrugged. " I'm tired, that's all. Stress does that."
Hawkes grimaced. " Danny, I'm going to level with you. In you're current situation, being tired is not a good thing."
Danny shrugged again. " Figured as much. I won't fall asleep Doc, I promise."
" Well, on the plus side, the bleeding must have slowed. You stopped dripping."
Danny managed a small smile. " You make me sound like a leaking pipe or something."
Danny looked at his arms still resting vertically on his knees. The bandages were so soaked that there was no way they would ever be their original color again. It made him nauseous to look at them, so he turned his head away and toward the ground to stare at Dr. Hawkes' boots.
" Listen Doc… I didn't mean… I'm sorry," he said.
" For what?"
" For being an idiot. I – I was freakin' out back there at the cave-in, when I was digging. I wasn't paying attention. My hands started hurting and I kept going. Being here… it's making me stupid, you know? I never liked being down here even when it was safe. I know I'm not handling it real well, and it's only making things worse. I'm usually not like this. I've never been the kind to just… up and panic about something stupid like this."
Hawkes chuckled softly and patted Danny's shoulder.
" Danny, you're not stupid just because you're afraid of being underground. It's just a phobia, everyone has them. Some, like yours, are legitimate. There's danger to being underground, we," he gestured toward the blockage, " kind of know that now. Some you kind of have to wonder about. Take my aunt on my mom's side for example. She has an absolute, petrifying fear of rabbits. Rabbits! I mean I can understand a little kid being afraid of a rabbit if they've never seen one before. But for a grown woman to almost faint at the sight of a baby bunny…" he chuckled again, shaking his head, and even Danny could not help a grin.
" But you know," Hawkes continued, " she probably has a reason she's afraid of them, she just never talks about it. We're all afraid of something Danny. We all panic over something, doesn't matter if it's large or small. We all have something we can't quite handle."
Danny looked over at Hawkes. " What's yours?"
Hawkes sucked in a breath through his teeth. " Danny, if it were any other situation, I'd probably make something up. But, if it helps… I'm not that fond of clowns."
Danny raised an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued. " Clowns? Really? You panic around clowns?"
" Well, not really panic. I did once when I was a kid, but that clown was pretty creepy and had a problem with getting in your face and not backing off. Then I had to go and read that Stephen King book that didn't help any. You remember that one case with that clown… Bonkers or whatever he called himself?"
" The hit and run? Yeah. Couldn't tell the blood from the make up."
" Yeah, well, you weren't there, but at the time I couldn't remove the make up since Mac would still be needing it. So I had to cover old Bonker's face with a towel. I could not, in any way, look at him. Every time I did it sent ice down my spine, let me tell you. It's not a fear I really like to admit, even to myself. But I have to when faced with it. Clowns are scary. But you know, I think I handle them pretty well. I covered the guy's face rather than run, which some people will do. Danny, right now your fear is coming true, and I know you don't think too highly of yourself right now but I think you're handling it fairly well."
Danny furrowed his brow and jerked his head at his arms. " You call this handling it well?"
Hawkes shrugged. " Your not huddled in a corner mumbling and shaking. You stopped digging." He pointed at Dave, whose pacing circle had widened. " You're not acting like a caged tiger ready bust out and rip people's heads off. You talk about real panic? To me what he's doing is real panic. It's not the feeling of fear but giving into it. You can't help what your feeling Danny. You can't help your fear, especially right now. It doesn't make you an idiot, it just makes you human."
Danny nodded. " I know. But you gotta admit, cutting myself up like this wasn't too bright."
" Fear does weird things. I'll admit this one too. I almost panicked when I saw your arms. I cut open dead bodies all the time, but for some reason seeing that much blood on a living person, not to mention I person I know and work with, actually made me sick. And I don't get sick like that. But that… yeah, that was pretty scary, not to mention strange. It kind of reminded me of one of those crappy horror movies where some guy sticks his arm in a hole only to get it ripped off by some monster." Hawkes laughed. " For a moment, I actually thought that was what happened."
Danny, still grinning, shook his head. " You've got a morbid mind, Doc."
" Yeah, I got to lay off those flicks… and books. Listen Danny; I want to see if I can't dig that body out myself. Chances are once the rubble gets cleared we might not have a chance to get the body out."
Danny nodded in agreement. " Just take it slow, doc," he said, lifting his arms a little. Hawkes patted Danny's shoulder again, then rose stiffly and headed into the darkness toward the vic. The doctor's flashlight and helmet light sliced through the darkness, shining this way and that. Danny watched the lights, strangely mesmerized by them and the way they seemed to challenge the thicker blackness around them.
Suddenly, the constant footfalls and scrapes of Dave's pacing ceased. Danny's gaze shot over to the workman, and the fear of something being wrong crept back into his mind.
Dave was standing perfectly still, staring in the direction Hawkes had gone. His face was like stone, hard and unwavering, and anger appeared to smolder in his eyes.
" Can't we cover that body up or something? Bury it already?" he mumbled, and resumed his pacing.
" Why?' Danny asked. " You can't see it unless you're right there."
Dave shot Danny a withering look. " The smell's getting to me."
Danny leaned his head back to rest it on the wall. " Doesn't smell that bad to me." But, then again, he had probably grown accustomed to such smells since becoming a CSI.
Danny eased up his hold on his wrists, allowing blood to flow into his hands and alleviate the numbness, though he found being numb preferable to the pain. He winced as he moved his stiffened fingers, gritting his teeth until the sharp pain abated.
Dave resumed his pacing. " This is bull," he said darkly. " We should be trying to dig our own way out."
" Without the proper equipment?" Stand asked from across the tunnel where he leaned with his shoulder to the wall. He gestured toward Danny. " I would think it kind of obvious, Anderson, that that wouldn't be a good idea."
Dave, still pacing, held up his gloved hands. " These equipment enough boss?"
Stan pushed off from the wall to stand straighter. " Not really Anderson. Why don't you go sit down somewhere and relax before you bust an artery or something. You're getting on my nerves. We haven't been here that long, only two hours. They're probably clearing the debris out now. It's not like we're trapped down here forever."
Dave stopped suddenly and turned abruptly toward Stan. " Then why don't I hear anything? Why don't I hear anyone working?"
" Because the debris wall is too thick to hear anything right now. Look, I just talked to someone not that long ago, and they said they were on it. Johnson thinks that two explosives may have gone off, which would make the mound thicker. Supposedly, two of the detonators for the next explosion aren't accounted for, just as I assumed. It's just going to take some time is all."
Danny creased his brow thoughtfully at the foreman's words. " Why would two explosives be missing? Does that happen a lot?"
Stan looked over at Danny. " Sometimes an extra explosive will be set up. Two's a rarity. Sometimes there's a miscount, or we get impatient and decide to add an extra if we think the structure of the cave can handle it, then forget we did it."
" But you usually don't have problems with explosives not going off, right?"
" It happens," Stan replied. " But if it does we usually know about it."
" Sounds like you didn't know about these two that went off."
Stan opened his mouth, about to respond, then clapped it shut. " What're you getting at?" he finally asked.
" Why wouldn't they go off when they're supposed to, but then go off at some other time?"
Stan shrugged. " Faulty set up, faulty wiring. A number of things. Doesn't take much to set them off later. It's only a matter of when, not really how."
Danny looked over at the lights belonging to doctor Hawkes. After listening in to Stan and Dave's conversation, several thoughts suddenly came to him. There was a body in a tunnel, half buried, and unaccounted for explosives.
" You know," Danny said, speaking out loud. " I've worked a lot of cases where people try to bury the body as deep as they can, hoping it buried too deep so it can never be found again. But you know what? They always get found, not exactly right away, but eventually. Something always gives. Doesn't matter how deep you dig, bodies have a way of coming back up. But this tunnel, it's pretty deep, and those explosives pretty powerful. If you positioned them just right, not only would you bury the body, you would destroy it in a way that anyone digging wouldn't recognize it for what it was. They would think it just a bunch of weird rocks."
Stan placed his hands into his pockets and shifted his gaze up the tunnel in the direction of the debris. " Well, I'm not one to jump to assumptions or anything, but you're killer doesn't seem too bright. You'd have to have the explosives by the body, not on top of the ceiling. Or at least move the body so it was underneath."
Danny was thinking that over even now. " Maybe he didn't have time. Maybe he miscalculated after trying to hide the body in the dirt, and ran out of time trying to uncover it. I don't think he would want to place those explosives other than where they're supposed to be. Someone might have noticed. Naw, he knew what he was doing. Something must have gone wrong. He would have had to bring the body here at night. You got security here, don't you?"
Stan nodded. " Keeps out the crazy kids who like to throw stuff in the tunnel."
" Security probably spooked him off before he could finish. Then your guys found it. I think your bombs were stolen for once."
Dave snorted out a derisive laugh. " Why you talking about this crap now? We're trapped down here, buried just like your corpse over there. We should be digging our way out, not solving some stupid murder. You're killers probably miles away by now. Hell, he's probably laughing at you while watching all this on the news or something. I know thinking about killers and crimes probably helps you relax, but it isn't helping anyone else right now."
Stan cocked his head to one side. " I don't know, Anderson. You seem to be the only one bothered by it. If the man wants to solve a crime while he waits then let him. Better than pacing a hole in the floor."
Dave shook his head, then looked once again to where the body lay hidden in the darkness. Danny took that moment to observe Dave more closely. He still wore an angry, uncomfortable expression, and his stance was rigid.
" It's just a body, Dave," Danny said. " It's not gonna just jump up and attack you or anything."
Dave looked at Danny, his features shadowed and his eyes pouring out his annoyance.
" This coming from a guy who nearly tore himself to pieces trying to dig his way out?"
Dave had him there, and Danny could not help momentarily looking away to fight back the shame of it. He then looked back up at Dave, trying to maintain understanding.
" I'm just saying is all. It's just a body."
" Yeah?" Dave spat. " Well it stinks, and it's making me sick. I say just bury the stupid thing, just until we're out, then unbury it."
Danny sighed, feeling wearier than he had been a moment ago. Now, more than ever, all he wanted to do was sleep. He shook his head to clear it.
" Kind of counterproductive Dave. We're trying to get the body out so you and your coworkers don't have to look at it any more, or smell it. Put something over your nose if you can't handle the smell. I'm pretty sure the doc as got some Vix in his kit. You put that above your lip and you won't even know that body's here any more."
Dave turned away to stare back into the darkness where the body lay. There was so much anger, agitation, and fear mingling in the man's eyes that it was making Danny begin to wonder.
" Dr. Hawkes is trying to get the body out," he said after a moment of thought.
" You really want to screw that up? You'd have to help him, you know. I can't really move right now, so you'd have to help him bury the body. You might have to touch it, move it around to get the dirt over it…"
" Hey," Dave snapped. " As long as it's out of sight."
Now Danny had even more to wonder on. He had hoped that by talking this way it might cause Dave to blanche and back down from his idea. Perhaps it was the smell that was getting to him, and the confinement, but it still made Danny ponder. After all, it was the body that was getting to Dave more than being enclosed.
" I wasn't giving you permission to bury the body," Danny said, " just so you know."
Dave remained still and staring in the direction of the corpse. It was an intent stare, as though he could see the body in full, every inch of it. It was making Danny nervous. Dave was afraid of something, but it was becoming less important as to what he was afraid of, only as to how he would act. Danny had almost killed himself trying to dig his way free, and he had been trying to maintain his control. Dave was giving way to his fear, if he had not already.
" Anderson," Stan said with apparent frustration, " go sit down some where and stop talking like a moron. I'll talk to the guys upstairs, see what's going on."
Stan moved up the cave toward the debris where reception would be clearer. The radio crackled to life and Stan spoke into it.
Dave seemed not to have noticed Stan's words. The feeling that Dave might try something stupid increased, and Danny needed to make sure that didn't happen.
He had brought his gun, though Mac had said he probably wouldn't need it. There had been no place to keep it with the coveralls on, so he had put it in his kit, which he had set by the body. That means Danny would have to get up, he would have to move, and he didn't know if he had the strength.
Suddenly, Dave began to move, walking slowly forward. Alarmed, Danny scrambled to his feet, pressing his back against the rough wall for support. Overwhelming dizziness flooded over him, and darkness flecked with starts passed over his vision. He shook his head, trying to clear it, then pushed off from the wall to lurch forward and stand unsteadily in front of Dave.
" Where do you think you're going?" he asked, sounding more confident than he felt.
Dave looked at him with loathing. " To talk to my boss. Got a problem with that?"
He shoved passed Danny and Danny was amazed to find himself still standing. He continued on, stumbling toward Hawkes and the corpse like a drunk. He kept his head down and all his concentration on keeping his feet moving, holding his arms out to feel for the wall when it came. When his hands finally touched the cold, uneven surface, he turned and pressed his back to it, gently lowering himself into sitting.
He was right next to the body with Hawkes kneeling on the other side, looking at Danny in alarm. Danny reached out for his kit, opening it and taking out his gun.
" Something wrong?" Hawkes asked with a slight tone of unease. Danny looked back over at where Dave was standing by his boss, though looking in their direction.
" I don't know yet."
Hawkes pointed at Danny's arms. " Above heart level?"
Danny placed the gun at his side and lifted his elbows back onto his upturned knees. Being closer to the body made the smell almost unbearable. But for Danny, it was a simple thing to ignore. His mind was still on the tons of rock surrounding him, and now on watching Dave, and waiting.
