The Father I'll Never Have

Disclaimer- I own nothing, so bug off.

Foreword- Oh feh, this isn't nearly as good as 'The Hardest Part'. But, I get these urges to write an emotional piece sometimes, so I've decided to make this an on-going collection of one-shots! Whoop de doodle for me.

Anwyways, enjoy!

The Father I'll Never Have

Emma's POV

When I was born, I was raised by my single mother. It wasn't easy, but we made things work. For the first 5 years of my life, we lived with mother's closest friends, and my guardians if anything were to happen to me, Kayko and Yusuke Urameshi.

I've always been overly-intelligent, a child-genius. When I was three, mother, Kayko, and Yusuke told me everything. About mother being a ferry-girl on the river Styx, Spirit World, Yusuke the Spirit Detective, that Kurama and Hiei were demons. It didn't scare me, or surprise me.

I started school shortly after I was gifted with the knowledge of Spirit World. I was confident. I knew everything that anyone in 5th grade should know. I could read, write, solve quadratic equations. I was proud of my abilities.

But people treated me differently. The girls all stayed away from me, and the boys teased me mercilessly. I had one friend, Nikki. But I couldn't let her be harmed because of me.

When I skipped up to third grade classes, I was attacked by a group of 5th grade boys. That first time, I screamed and cried. I begged them to stop hurting me. They hit me harder then. They made sure to not touch me anywhere that would show injury.

As time progressed, and the beatings became clockwork, I learned to keep my mouth shut. Nikki was weak, that I knew. I didn't want her to have to endure what I did every day.

I couldn't bother mother either. She had just gotten a new job, and we rented an apartment. It was tough on her, I know. She missed dad. So many days I'd come home from school, sometimes limping, and see her staring out the window, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

I couldn't hate him, because I didn't remember him. Kayko told me that my mother came back from Spirit World, she was pregnant with me. She gave birth here on earth, hasn't been back to Spirit World nor heard from father since.

So I dreamed about him. No one ever spoke of him. When they did, I was sent from the room. I'd never seen a picture of him, I didn't even know his name.

But I kept going. I had mother. I had my second set of parents, Yusuke and Kayko. There was Shezuru, the big sister I'd always wanted.

And Hiei.

When I was little, he was like a surrogate brother. He looked out for me, but was constantly teasing me and calling me short. Like he's one to talk.

But, life went on. It took a normal pattern. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, get the living shit beaten out of me, come home and do my homework, fix dinner, mom comes home at 7, and go to bed. It was nothing extravagant, but it was my life.

One day, a day we were out of school, mother left me in the care of Kayko and Yusuke. She left for work, like always. Shezuru had come over to visit, and I spent the day playing with her. Finally, mother came to pick me up. We walked down the street hand-in-hand.

The next thing I knew, I was fading away. I was dimly aware of my mother's voice screaming my name. The next thing I knew, I was in a large room with an ogre!

My mind was frozen for the moment, but I made the connection. Spirit World, perhaps? The ogre told me I was the princess. The daughter of Koenma, son of the king of Spirit World.

Koenma. My father.

I told the ogre I wanted to see him. He told me that was impossible. I did the only thing a normal 8 year old would do. I sat down and started to cry.

Not long after that, my mother came bursting through the doors. She scooped me up, turned, and ran back the way she came. She collided with another person. The person turned and shoved us back into the room, hurrying in after us.

Mother and I landed in a pile of pillows. I clambered out first. I looked at the person who had save us.

The way he looked at me then, both of us seeing each other for the first time. I was looking at my father.

Of course, him not being around for the first 8 years of my life affected our relationship. His end of the relationship more then mine. He was tense around me.

He didn't know how to be a father.

I don't blame him. I hate my grandfather, King Yama. He's not a very nice person.

He's the one who made me a frikkin hybrid; but that's a story for another day.

I always accepted what my father told me to do, and held it to be the absolute truth.

When he transformed me into an 18 year old, so my body fit my brain, I knew he wanted what was best for me. When he and mother left to go back to Spirit World, leaving me to fend, mostly, on my own, I didn't care.

But, it still hurts.

When I walk down the street, and see little girls going to the park with their fathers, I look back at my youth mournfully. Would that have changed anything? His presence that is.

He could have put forth a little more effort to be with us. I remember wishing on every shooting star and birthday candle, to please let him come back to us.

But no, we had to come to him.

I don't hate him now. But I can't say for sure I love him. He's my father, and he'll always have my love as a daughter, but I'm not sure I'll love him as me, Emma.

He's not a bad person either. He really tries, I know he does. He worries about me, cares about what happens to me. He loves me.

But when I look at him, even though I'm smiling, I know what I'm looking at.

The father that I'll never have.

Author's Note- Shot but sweet. I've never written a father-daughter type thing before, so I think this went okay for my first try. I've not gotten many reviews on the first piece, so maybe it sucked.

I just hope that I'm not making an idiot of myself by posting these.

shakita45