A/N: i'm sorry for the long delay, but i went to san fran for christmas and san antonio for new years (best not to ask, really), and didn't have internet access.

and i'm having a bit of trouble with the story, losing my nerve so to speak. and i'm really pissed at draco, but you'll understand that next chapter.

anyway, here you go. sorry again for the wait and thank you all for reviewing. you have no idea how much it's appreciated.

-- chapter 1 -- chapter 5.2 -- chapter 4.1 -- chapter 3.1 -- chapter 6.1 -- chapter 5.1 -- chapter 2 -- chapter 4.2 -- chapter 3.2 -- chapter 4.3 -- chapter 7 -- chapter 9.1 -- chapter 6.2 -- chapter 9.3 -- chapter 8.2 -- chapter 9.2 -- chapter 8.1 -- chapter 8.3 --

- December 23 - 1997 - Seventh Year -

I was still angry at myself for letting Draco get to me and Harry and I had stopped speaking. Hermione was fluttering around us like a nervous bird, prodding us to speak again. Neither of us had told her what the fight was about and not knowing only drove her harder towards trying for peace. Malfoy was working at Harry with more fervor than ever and had taken to shoving me into walls, fondling me, and whispering suggestive demands in my ear whenever the mood struck him, which wasn't often, but enough to annoy me. It only became hard to push him away on the days that I did not see him draped across Pug-face and or speaking to Ginny. I had been sitting, curled up in my chair by the fire with my muggle studies book when I heard the swoosh of the tapestry. My head shot up, panicked that I was cornered by Draco, but I was shocked to see Harry standing on the last step, the Maurader's Map in his hand. He was looking at me curiously.

"When did you find this place?" His voice was soft and almost cautious.

"I didn't, Draco did. This is where we meet. I wanted some quiet."

He looked around with a look I couldn't read, "You've... with him... here?"

"Almost exclusively, yes. No one comes here but the house elves and that's only because Draco tells them to."

He nodded, his eyes falling on the couch that was slowly growing smaller every week. Draco would have to do the stretching spell again if he wanted it to remain a couch. "I don't like that you're.. Er, with him. Or were... Or whatever..."

"I'm not going to apologize for being with him. It was my choice."

"You didn't let me finish. I don't like it, but I'm going to accept it. You're my best friend and if it makes you happy, then that should be enough."

I smiled to myself, "Thank you. That makes me feel a little better."

"Can we start talking again, then? 'Cause Hermione's driving me nutters and I don't think I can survive another history without you." He gave me a tentative smile.

I smiled back and pointed to the chair in the corner that Draco and I had never touched before. "Want some tea?"

He summoned the chair next to mine and sat, "Sure. This place is pretty comfortable."

"I know. I've been coming here to think a lot lately. It's calming when Draco isn't here."

"Does he show up a lot?"

"I don't think he knows I've been coming here. He'd show up otherwise."

"So you aren't..." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and glanced at the cup of tea that appeared for him before taking it up.

I took his meaning and shook my head. "No, no, I'm not. More avoiding him than anything. I wouldn't be here if I thought he'd show up. He's only done that once when we didn't plan it and.." I shivered at the memory, but took a calming breath and relaxed at it just being a memory. "I'd rather not talk about it."

He seemed to be surveying me, but then he smiled, "Good. He's horrible for you, anyways. I think it'd be a good idea to find you someone non-violent. Perhaps someone that isn't a Deatheater?"

I grinned and nudged his arm, "Bastard."

"Then should I start probing for possibilities immediately?" He was grinning, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

I returned the grin, "You can if you want. I doubt you'll find anyone though."

His grin turned conspiratorial, "I think I'll be able to find someone. You're pretty hot, for a bloke."

I smirked and shoved his shoulder, "Shut it, you'll make me blush."

- May 4 - 1998 - Seventh Year -

I could still hear their screams, the agony, the anger. My body was alight with pain worse than anything I had ever felt. There was bustle all around me, and all I wanted was to go to sleep, but something nagged at me. I looked at the bed next to mine and saw Harry, his eyes closed, all color drained from his body, and I grew terrified that he had not made it. Someone, Hermione I think, must have seen my fear because a hand pressed against the shoulder that wasn't broken and whispered in my ear that his magic had been drained and he was sleeping. I relaxed a bit and tried to get comfortable, despite the pain, but it was to no avail. My pillow was at an odd angle and the room was in such a tangle of confusion that I couldn't distinguish one face from another enough to ask someone to help. Something was poured down my throat, by whom I don't know, but by the time I could muster up voice enough to ask them to adjust my pillow, they were somewhere else. Deciding to cut my losses in favor of sleep, I closed my eyes to the chaos and tried to drift away. The liquid I had been given had done well to ease some of my pain and sleep was fast approaching.

But then there was yelling, an argument. I wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality, but I could hear his voice and suddenly I wanted him with me. I tried to open my mouth to ask for him, but my throat was too dry and no words came out. The yelling had drawn closer, and when it almost reached my bedside, I distinguished Hermione's harsh yell at him to go away. The last I heard was him growl, "Get off me, you filthy Mudblood, I will not be kept from him." Then there were lips on my forehead, cool lips, his lips, and I opened my eyes to see his face next to mine. I tried to speak, but words still failed me. He smiled ever so slightly, but I could see the fear and the anger in his eyes. His fingers were stroking through my hair and all I could feel was him.

"You look like hell, you know that?" he whispered with an attempted comforting smile, but his voice was shaking. I smiled the best I could and reached for his other hand, holding it close to my chest, never wanting to lose his touch again. His face grew stern and his mouth curled into a sneer, "I can't believe they did this to you, love. Don't they know I'm the only one allowed to hurt you?" His grip on my hand tightened in his anger, but his fingers in my hair remained gentle. My eyes began to droop, but I fought them, not wanting to stop looking at him. His lips pressed against my forehead again and then his voice whispered for me to go to sleep. He used that word again, that word he always forbade me from using, and my heart was soaring. I nodded and closed my eyes, making sure to keep his hand close, and fell asleep to his fingers in my hair.

- January 16 - 1998 - Seventh Year -

I stayed in the shadows for a few days, watching Justin and Draco and allowing my thoughts to mend themselves into a decision. Draco had taken to leaning over Ginny's shoulder and murmuring in her ear, his eyes trained on me with the faintly vindictive little smirk. I didn't mind it, knowing that Ginny took no interest in his showering attention. She had mentioned something about him while we were visiting the twins, who were now so successful, they'd managed a second shop in Hogsmeade. Their reaction had been violent protestation, and in an act so completely unlike them, threatened a letter not only to Dad, but to Bill and Charlie as well, and that took all though of how sweet Draco could be right out of her head.

So Draco flirted with little success and I found two new, shiny boxes on my pillow, one three days after the first, and two notes requesting meetings that I did not attend.

Justin was all smiles, all the time, and his laughter filled almost every room he was in. I never noticed how bubbly he could be until I started watching. I liked it, that he was always happy, always willing to throw a grin at you, even if he had no reason for it. It was a definite change of pace from Malfoy, and with the way Malfoy continued to shamelessly flirt with my sister and the rumors about him and anyone he could find that he made sure got back to me, I definitely needed to take a step in another direction.

Nearing a decision, I crawled in bed with Harry one night to have a talk. He had had another nightmare and it had involved Lupin and my dad, and though I was worried, I did my best to comfort him. Some time before I had turned into my mother and had taken to rubbing his back in a soothing way to try to get him back to sleep. He tried to play as though the dreams did not bother him and that he wasn't worried about the battle that Dumbledore seemed to think would happen sooner rather than later, but I knew him too well to be fooled by his cool exterior. I knew he wasn't allowing himself to sleep again and had taken it upon myself to get him to comply with his body's drowsiness. If the other guys had not started putting silencing spells over their beds, they'd probably though I wanted to get in his trousers, but there was nothing sexual in my crawling in bed with him. Harry was slowly working his way into brother status, and sometime during the previous summer, he'd taken to calling my mum 'Mum', so no, there was nothing sexual about it.

I forced him to lie down once more and ran fingers through his hair as he settled into the covers. He let out a contented sigh as I began to rub his back and his eyes closed instinctively. "Harry?" There was a mumbled acknowledgment. "Can I talk to you about something?" Another mumble. "I think I want to ask Justin to go to Hogsmeade with me."

"So you like him, then?" His voice was hoarse from the screaming he'd woken up from, but it sounded hopeful nonetheless.

"Yeah, I think I do. I've been watching him, and he's always so happy and friendly. I think I'd like to be with someone that actually smiles to show me they're happy to see me and not just smirks and throws an insult."

"Good, I told you the slimy git was no good for you. Glad you're going for someone that's actually going to treat you nicely." He smiled up at me and I poked him in the back of the head.

"Shut up, Malfoy isn't all bad. He could be gentle and loving, it just took an orgasm or two and a traumatic event or a threat." He snorted, but I pretended not to hear him. "And that brings us to Malfoy. I don't know how he's going to react to me dating someone. What if he kills him?"

"He won't kill him. He won't even touch him."

"You don't know him like I do. He gets possessive at the slightest sign that I have interaction with another bloke. He used to get so angry when I'd come down in your clothes on accident. He thought we were shagging for the longest time.." I started smiling slightly at the memory of his kisses when I denied that I was shagging anyone else.

Harry wrinkled his nose, "What are you smiling about? That isn't amusing."

"Sorry, I was just thinking about.. Nevermind. You don't want to know."

He gave an exasperated sigh, "Ron, I'm not going to shag you no matter how hot you think I am."

I snorted, "I'm sorry Harry. I just can't help it. I mean, look at you."

"Bloody irresistible, I know. But you can't have me."

"And now you've gone and crushed al my dreams..."

"You'll get over it." He patted my knee affectionately and burrowed into the blankets.

I shook the goofy grin off my face, "We've gotten off subject. What do I do when Draco finds out? Either Justin or I will end up in the hospital wing. Do I want to subject him to that? I mean, Draco can hurt me all he wants, I'm used to leaving him with bruises, but Justin.."

Harry looked stern and a little sad, "Ron, do you like Justin?"

"Yeah, I already told you that."

"Then just ask him. Fuck Malfoy, he's already done enough damage to you. Don't let him stand in the way of your happiness anymore. He's not worth it."

"I know..." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, scratching the back of my neck. I couldn't help myself from thinking that maybe Draco wasn't standing in the way of my happiness, maybe he was my happiness. But Harry would have reacted violently to that, so I just nodded and went back to rubbing his back.