'So? Have you done it yet?'
'Wha?' Jumping, Archer turned to find Random back on Enterprise. 'Why do you always do that!'
'Do what?' Random looked at him with a faux-innocent expression.
'Appear right behind me. You always do it! It's really getting on my nerves.'
'Oh. I find it amusing.'
'Well stop it!'
'You can't make me!'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yeah'
'And just why not?'
'Cos I'm the author. You mess with me and I'll make sure you spend the next 3 months trapped on some god-forsaken planet in the middle of no where. Now, have you tied the ship to the shuttles?'
'Yes.' Archer sounded distinctly grumpy. Random did a small victory dance and started issuing instructions for what to do next.
Several hours later...
'And if that doesn't work you'll have to start all over again. If it still doesn't work you'll have to just send out and all frequencies broadcast asking for a lift home. If you're really lucky a Vulcan ship'll stop and give you a hand.'
'Couldn't ya just write in that the engines miraculously fix themselves and we go merrily on our way?'
'Trip, if I could do that, d'ya think I'd still be here telling ya' how to do a bump start?' Random looked at him.
'Prolly not.'
'Exactly! So? You got all of that? Can I go and tell Shrekster to quit writing stories where you guys break down now?'
'Please.'
'Well, have fun!' Random vanished off into another part of the ENT universe where a small purple fanfic author was watching in horror as her original characters were all killed in a horrible battle before ever meeting the crew.
'Y'know, that's the 4th time that's happened since Shrekster started delaying them with all those break downs?'
'Really? This is terrible! Was that your love interest for Malcolm who was crushed by a falling cat?' Looking up, the small purple author (who shall remain nameless, she can prolly guess who she is, I hope!) noticed her last remaining OC get crushed and let out a terrifying battle cry.
'She must be stopped!' The small purple fanfic author lept to her feet. 'Will you join me?'
'Of course! This senseless killing must be stopped. OC's cannot die unless there's someone from the crew to mourn for them! Or at least they must die saving the ship! To war!'
A/N: Well this is random! Not sure what's actually going on here. If you have any idea at all please email me or drop in a review. Safe travels my friends and I'll see you all next time on...The Idiot's Guide!
